Smuggler Archive

I was passing through Theed when I noticed someone outside the starport asking for someone to slice his gun. I figured I'd offer, so I sent him a tell.

He replied asking where I was. He was standing about 5m away from me, so I figured I'd wave. Admittedly, it was pretty crowded, so it's not unreasonable he wouldn't notice. So he starts running off in a direction away from me. I follow, and wave a few more times. Then I start saying "Hey!" while following him. Obliviously, he's ignoring me and running randomly around.

After about 5 minutes of this, I give up and stop following, and he starts running off towards the cantina. I figure if he's that blind, it'll probably be hell trading and slicing, so I just decided I didn't need the credits that much.

This doesnt really have anything to do with the profession, but it's still rather amusing.

I had just gotten a couple of missions from the Rebel terminal in Anchorhead, and was heading out of town when some Imps show up, and my X34 gets damaged. I die, clone, head out to do my missions, and on my way back to town, I meet a fellow rebel sitting in a camp. I stop to say hello, and he asks me why I have flames coming out of my speeder's engines. Well, I was in a humorous mood at the moment, so I joked that they were from afterburners I had installed. He then proceeds to assault me with questions about where he could buy some, and for about five minutes I try to tell him that I was joking, and there are no such things as afterburners. He finally gets that I was joking, and launches into a tirade about how I shouldn't joke about things like that. *shake head*

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JTGAlpha wrote:

/points at above thread and payment with a locked container...

"A gun rack? A GUN rack? I don't even own A gun, much less many guns which would necessitate an entire rack. What am I going to do with.. a GUN rack?"

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What is that quote from?? I can hear it in my head but I can't think of what it is and it's going to drive me crazy.

Well, I'm not a smuggler anymore, but back in the day when I was, I was overt and Imperial in the Theed bazaar farthest from the starport. A client had asked me to show up and slice a few weapons for them and I informed them that I was overt and would like to avoid any Rebel implications. They agreed and I proceeded to make the walk to Theed (this was before mounts and vehicles. I know. I'm old)

So I get there, get some decent slices on their weapons when I get a /tell from another smuggler asking if I can train them in slicing 2. I tell them I'm in the bazaar farthest from the starport and ask if they can meet me there. They agree.

Now, while I'm waiting for my trainee, I'm keeping my eye on my radar for any overt Rebels. I'm not seeing anything on the radar at all. When I see my trainee's blip heading for me, I also see about 15 little RED blips running from outside of Theed right towards me.

Now, 15-1 aren't great odds. I fire off a lowblow into them then bash my FD button. I drop like a stone. Predictably, they all stand there waiting for me to get up. My trainee comes up and asks, in spatial, "What happened." The leader says, "Well we decided to raid Theed and ran into this pansy smuggler first."

Now, since when is using your skills to their full abilities pansy-like? I send a /tell to the leader saying, "Hey, I'm just here to train that guy, if you'd go away I'd be happy to train and run without messing up your stupid little raid."

He must've told the group because I started getting /tells from other members saying things like "If you're gonna train someone, don't be overt," and so on and so such.

So 3 minutes pass and their still camping my feigned body. I'm just laying there watching them bad mouth me and say that feign death is a move only for weaklings, all smugglers should die (this from a bunch of Rebels. HA.) I continue getting the "I hate smugglers/You're a stupid wimp/Get off the F'ing ground" tells.

I send another tell the their leader saying, "Hey, I'm just a simple smuggler. I'm no match for 15 of you Super Rebels (hahahaha). Why don't you just go continue your raid before someone finds out you're here and squashes your little rebellion."

He replies "I'm not leaving until you get up!"

"Suit yourself. I've got all day." And I continue to lay feigned.

Finally, ten minutes later, they decide to walk away towards the starport. I stand up, train the guy (who was surprisingly quiet through all of this) and proceed to help the other Imperials at the starport.

First target: The leader. He's a BH with the avenger title up. I'm unarmored and unbuffed, so I stay back and let the other Imps do most of the fighting. But i throw a lowblow/last ditch combo on the BH which drops him. Silly BHs thinking they don't need buffs.

I walk over to his incapacitated form, /wave, say "Remember me?" then proceed to deathblow him. Then I hit feign death again just as a pistoleer winged me.

I stayed feigned until the rebellion was put down all the while nearly falling out of my chair laughing. I get a tell from the leader, freshly cloned, saying "I thought you said if we walked away, you'd leave??"

Moral of the story, don't camp a smuggler's body and believe everything he says. He's coming back for revenge.