Smuggler Archive

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A-Tek Weapons
[Corellia -130 -5500] [Dantooine -250 2720] [Tatooine -2645 -2400]
Ashiva Imavea: Jedi Knight | Aminia Imavea: 12pt Force Weaponsmith
- I like pie

These are hilarious...I love it

Tango (Elder Jedi)
Jirthiv (Commando)
Burglar (Elder Shipwright)
RE Ship Vendors @ -763, 2899 on Dantooine

hahaha, all these smuggler stories... when the container turns out empty.... a while ago i was smuggler... so i would slice their containers all the time right, so i slice it, and me the good guy(I was a crafter so i had recources on me all the time) i take 1 unit of 4 recources, so they dont complain about it being empty lol, it worked every time!

-Stemman

Intrepid Players-
Stemman - Master Spy, Storm Squadron Ace, Space Miner, Elder Architect, Elder TKA, Elder Pistoleer, Elder Village Nade Noob
Stemman' - Master Structures, RE Noob
Vendor At -3594 -2539 Outside Imperial Outpost, Dantooine
I Do Space Resource Orders 130CPU

I was earning my gambling credits putting laser knifes willy nilly to some weapons out back ofmy arms dealers shop for a customer.Setting some rifles on the bench,I randomly poke and prod within the rifle housing, somehow bypassing the couplings via a clamp indicator and readjusting the emitter to unload a gratuitous burst of energy shell. I manage to do a proud job on some nice rifles fora fella' who says hes going hunting in the wilds the coming weekend. Yeah..sure, I reply. I don't ask questions. Ipoint tohis gear and suggest that he keep a low profile on the "ranges" as the "wardens" frown upon illicit material. He simply nods andbegins to pick up his stuff.

(actual game events)

Moi: Heres yer weaps back (trade window opens)

(items deployed - accept trade?)

(trade cancelled. oops)

(trade again)

(items deployed - accept trade?)

(trade cancelled. doh)

At this point I check my inventory, 34 of 50.

(trade again)

(trade cancelled. sonofa...)

Its here where the story gets humorous to me as the customer says. Your inventory is full.

Moi: its shouldn't be... (double check..still 34 of 50)

2x (trade again) + (trade cancelled.)

Customerin all seriousness)Damn man, you call yourself a master smuggler, you don't even know how to trade things. Your a joke.

Moi: *mental snap* Hey, perhapsYOUR inventory is full?

..pause..

Customer: It is. Sorry. Ok now try.

(trade again. Trade completed!)

Kudos to the fella for admitting his obvious oversight though. A classic case of think before ya speak. Funny to me nonetheless... sort of.

Cadence (Mil.) A uniform time and place in marching.

Smuggler/ Pistoleer

This is truly the greatest thread I've read on these forums. I started reading it when I was going from unarmed 3 to 4, and now I'm 2/4/0/4 inSmuggler and it's the most fun I've had in this game yet. Today wasn't very fun, though...

I was in a buff line ( a very, very long buff line) getting ready to go to Dantooine to level some Smuggler pistol skills and decided to put my slicing macro on. I got a PM from a guy in front of me *asking me where I was*, so I knew this wouldn't be good.

"hey can u slice my weapon for me bro?"

"Sure. I charge 5k per slice."

"omg dats insane."

"No it isn't."

"ok whateva"

he trades, and I slice. 19% damage on his rifle. I didn't feel bad either.

I trade back, and go about my business. While waiting for the shuttle to arrive, he sees my spam again and the conversation is as follows:

"yo delste y do u charge so much? that's ridiculas."

When I first started smuggler, I was going to charge 100cp%, but after reading this thread I realized that that would hurt the community, so I charge a steady rate of 5k per slice, 10k when I master.

"I don't. Charging so little hurts the community and I don't want to do that."

At this point a few people agreed with me and a few argued with me, so I said:

"Look, you just paid 10k for 3 hour buffs, but you can't pay 5k for a permanent upgrade to your weapon?"

That shut him up really quickly, but not his friends. I boarded the shuttle to Dantooine and received /tells for about 5 minutes on how I'm ripping people off until I ignored them.

Not really a funny story but I never thought I'd get that many complaints like this thread let me to believe. Thanks for the great laughs and stories, guys/girls.

NIchibN
Greenbeard's Pirates
Greenbeard Territory, 5604 -6980 Rori

I got quite a funny story to tell...

Customer: Hi, I heard about you Mikargo - I want you to slice my weapons.

Me: Ok, heres my prices *advertise macro*

Customer: Ok heres what I need doing.

Me: Ok

Customer: Are they done yet?

Me: You need to trade me them first!

Customer: I have done - come on you must be done by now??
Me: I have had no weapons off you yet - click on trade.

Customer: Dont be gay give me my weapons back now

Me: I seriously havnt got any weapons from you - you should know Im a honest guy.

This carried on for a while until it turned out that he had in fact traded his weapons to somebody else, and they had since done a runner with them!

Although that in itself can have a serious chance of splitting your sides with laughter the crazy part is still to come...

The customer attempted to blame me for not standing close enough to him and suggested I buy him new weapons...now THAT is funny!

Mikargo (Master Smuggler)

- Ivani Obsidiate (ranking nobility of Ryloth, in exile)

--------------------------------------------------------
... Critical Failure Collector: Has earned 10,000 critical failures
... Deathblow Collector: Has earned 2,500 deathblows
... has mastered the Incapacitated profession
... has mastered the Embarassing Mis-tell profession
... has visited the birthplace of Padme Amidala's mentally deranged hairdresser
... has mastered the Being Nerfed by System Updates profession
... has mastered being Jack of All Trades, Master of None

lol i love this thread always have. now i FINALLY have something to commit to it.

not a story about slicing or anything, but a story about feign death but its so funny

other night i was at the DWB and groupped with some freinds. so we are fighting and i die since they didnt know what or where to go i get rezzed and imedietly go fd. so i alt escape of galaxies and pull up the faq on the DWB and they drag me around (we had a doc there hehe) while im fded and we make it like 1/4 of the way through (past section a keydoor) before everyone elses buffs fail. so we run out and i get dragged all the way back up. omg it was so great. just thought i should share.

boeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeg
inanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginan
boeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeg
inanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginan}} "Reality Is A Dream"
boeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeg}} Ex Rebel Colonel
inanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginan}} Adrianaa Morindel
boeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeg}} Smuggler for life
inanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginan
boeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeg}} Ex-Master BH, Pistoleer, TKA
inanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginan}} Magnumus Mysterium
boeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeg}} Kauri
inanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginanboeginan

Just had some fun with feign death in Anchorhead....

I try to be funny,but I'm not. I went up to a random personand said "I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle." He didn't "get it," so he said "duel me for them," and I said so "if you don't kill me, I get your stuff?" and he agreed. So, he dueled me, I feigned death and let the good times roll. After about 10 minutes he told me to stop.

"dude your gay could u stop dat?"

"brb, getting a Mountain Dew and some food."

when I came back, he was yelling in the tavern, threatening to report me, etc.

"dude ill give u 10k to get up."

"100k? sure, that sounds great."

"no, 10k"

"nah, I kinda wanted to stay feigned. thanks for the offer though."

for the next 10 minutes he was threatening me, etc, until I finally put him on ignore.

oh, and I'm not THAT cruel. I only did it because he was insulting me earlier. it was fun, though.

NIchibN
Greenbeard's Pirates
Greenbeard Territory, 5604 -6980 Rori

Funny in an infuriating way: I could only sit and laugh afterwards.

Sporting my brand new Master Title, i waltzed through coro SP

*Hands me a beautiful piece of composite armour*

*My Jaw drops after a perfect 45% encumberance slice*

THERE REALLY IS NO PLEASING SOME PEOPLE....

G'rrutuck Garr, Mayor of Troma Vale, Dantooine. Infinity. Celebrating 18 Months of Peace, Prosperity and, er, Peace.....
When I were a lad, I'd be up at crack o' dawn, 3 hours before I went to bed, work a 27 hour day grind down Old Agro, get fed Neurotoxin and a lump O' Ostrine Ore for supper, and each night Darth Vader would come kill me and dance on my grave. And thats if I was LUCKY! Try telling that to the newbs of today, they wouldnt believe a word of it!"

Now added to my bio: NOT A RESPEC POLITITIAN!!! Support your hard working Mayors: dont wear the title

So I logged in the other day at the Jawa trading post. As I was getting ready to head out two guys showed up hoping to hunt some jawa's; and one seemed quite upset that he couldn't kill any of them. Now, I like the little guys. I have good faction with them and on several occasions the jawa's have helped me fight Rebels.

Well, I chat with them a bit and one of them asks me to slice some weapons(the one NOT badmouthing jawa's).

Five slices later...

Me: Let's go with 20k for the lot. 18k if you can get your friend to say Jawa's are cool.

Him: lol

Him: 20k it is

Oh well, I tried! Don't hate the Jawa's!

…

Tuyen Highwest
Server: Kettemoor
Last Ditch Desperado

Whew…this thread's a long read, but worth it. Great stuff! My own contribution:

Smuggler-related, but not strictly speaking a smuggler story:

I was running the Nightsister theme park with a friend, and fairly often I'd get in mind trouble and have to take a hit of thrusterhead for a quick fix to get me through. It ended up that every time we'd get back to the mission-giving sister I'd be puking, and usually right on her shoes. Finally we get to Gethzerion and wonder of wonders, I've made it through a mission without spicing.

Friend: Hey, you aren't puking on her shoes!

Me: /puke

A smuggler story:

Background: I'm still working my way up the smuggling trees, while at the same time working on commando. I've only recently acquired feign, and I haven't really used it much. I decide I'm going to work on my faction a bit, so I head out of Theed running Imperial Destroy missions (that is, destroy the Rebels for the Empire.) I get to my first mission and set all the Rebels on fire, then decide to be lazy and simply feign and wait for them to die. So I middle-click (clear queue/feign macro) and watch the burning Rebels wander off confusedly, all the while thinking how smart I am…until I hear an explosion.

. o O ( Oh crap. Where did I leave my bike? )

*sounds of gunfire*

. o O ( Oh crap! I left it in the same direction that gunfire's coming from! )

*spams /stand trying to get up and kill the last two Rebels before they kill my bike*

Thankfully, the flames took them out one volley before they took my bike out…but what makes it really funny is that I'd lost a bike the night before to 6 Bolle Bol Stompers that decided that after incaping me, humping my bike seemed like a good idea. One bike lost to failing to pay attention to my brandy levels, another almost lost to feigning…and I thought I was hard on my armor.

œ Slone Varnillian œ Eicia Obai œ Panda-Sy œMost of the universe's problems can be solved by the application of a brick to the side of the right head.The problem is if you don't have a big enough brick or can't find the right head. The devil is in the details.œ Galena Varnillian œ Ammon œ Gwrtheyrn œ