Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
Dodici
Fri Jun 11, 2004 9:22 am
#898
Bunkermaster wrote:
I'd pay her not to strip if she was bothan
LMAO!
DrevenStrobe
Fri Jun 11, 2004 11:49 am
#899
Ok guys...I just recieved this in an email...from my mom, of all people. And given the state of the Smuggler profession, and SWG in general, I figured I'd share with you guys.
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report
that hertelephone failed to ring when her friends called - and
that onthe few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always
moanedright before the phone rang. The telephone repairman
proceededto the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or
senile elderlylady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test
set, anddialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring
right away, but thenthe dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman
found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground
wire via asteel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current
when thephone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start
moaning and thenurinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus
causing thephone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by
pissing andmoaning.
that hertelephone failed to ring when her friends called - and
that onthe few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always
moanedright before the phone rang. The telephone repairman
proceededto the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or
senile elderlylady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test
set, anddialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring
right away, but thenthe dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman
found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground
wire via asteel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current
when thephone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start
moaning and thenurinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus
causing thephone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by
pissing andmoaning.
Lipenoeg
Sat Jun 12, 2004 6:16 am
#902
I got one for you. Just happened to me last night. I'm new to the smuggling profession, but I made slicing 4 the other day. I'm spamming in front of Coronet starport (Chilestra galaxy) and offering my services for $3000. Then I see this other guy shout : ' I'll Slice For FREE : NEED THE XP! '.
So I'm thinking, well, I'll help this guy out. I was offering to unlock containers myself for free when I was grinding slicing, and I wasn't getting alot of offers really. A more experienced slicer tells me the easiest way to gring slicing is to buy crates of cheap weapons and grind them. Good idea. I do it and glide right through all the way slicing 4. So I'm going to offer tis new guy the same advice:
ME: You using moleculear clamps?
Him: Yes
Me: What level slicing are you?
Him: 4
ME: Working on 4, or completed 4?
Him: Completed 4.
Me: Then why do you need the slicing xp? You already maxed out what you can do with it for now.
Him : No I said I completed 3
Me: Well, do you want some advice on how to get through with slicing really fast?
Him : How?
Me: Goto the bazzarr or vendor and buy cratefuls of really cheap weapons like knives or cdef pistols and slice them.
Him: (after a pause) Well, I already tried that and the XP it gave me was too low, so I'm doing this now
Me: Too low? You should have gotten 250 xp for EVERY slice?!?
Him : (no response)
Me: You should get 250 xp for every weapon sliced, I never once got any lower than that?!?
Him: (no response)
A few minutes later, I see him in the cantina....and I see someone else say "don't give your weapons to *name withheld* he will probaly steal it'
LOL just thought it was funny
Lodger
Sat Jun 12, 2004 9:06 am
#903
Lol, after 3 days of steady reading (instead of studying ) i finally did all the pages.
Thanks for the laughs everybody, and keep 'em comin!
(I found myself in the story btw 
not as the smuggler but as the n00b who had no idea about slicing; well at least i wasen't rude or anything, and now working my way up to smuggler myself. )
not as the smuggler but as the n00b who had no idea about slicing; well at least i wasen't rude or anything, and now working my way up to smuggler myself. )Greets
eman7h
Sat Jun 12, 2004 9:32 pm
#904
Well I read through it, all 39 pages. I've recently leveled my alt to 0311 in Smuggler, and I have semi funny story to tell. (btw, my alt is named Alem Gimo, and my thoughts/notes looking back on it are in <>
(and also white=spatial, yellow=/tell, green=my thougts, and red=everything else)
(and also white=spatial, yellow=/tell, green=my thougts, and red=everything else)Me: /shout Sliceing Spam
Female Wookiee: Slice my container?
Me: Sure.
FW: K, trade.
*I do, give it back to her, she goes AFK immideatly*
Male Wookiee: Gimo can u slice my container
<Ok, so he's roleplaying an Italiangangster? I do have an Italian sounding last name (to me at least) 
>
>Me: Sure
*Trade, I slice halfway, but run out of knives*
Me: Hold on a sec, I just ran out of knives.
MW: Gimo ok
< >
>*Make knives, finish slicing, take a peek inside(I'm a smuggler at heart
)*
)*Me: Alright, it's done.
MW: Gimo kk.
< /boggle This wookiee is kinda wierd... mabey English isn't his first language???>
*Trade container back*
Me: Good Day!
MW: cya.
*I walk off to go do... stuff... and the wookiee sends me /tells about lag (is it always this bad?, ect.), but always begining with "Gimo." Finally I get a stroke of genus*
Me: You only have to type someone's first name when sending a /tell =)
Apparently he was on the free trial
Neurd
Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:32 pm
#905
I saw a smuggler IRL today, he was at theed spamming the following
/shout Can anyone tell me how to burn dreamcast games? PST with info, paying with free slices!
Neurd
Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:33 pm
#906
er sorry... what i meant is that he is a RL smuggler..... not that i saw him IRL
DevilsAdvocate
Sun Jun 13, 2004 9:27 pm
#907
hehe lots of funny tales..unfortunately the only bad experiences as a smuggler werent funny ones at all, so I have none to share, but thanks for all the laughs.
stopher772
Mon Jun 14, 2004 5:11 pm
#908
lol, these are great.. ok i got one,
I was working on TKA in FT on day when a guy dessed in noob clothes comes up to me and asked if i could open a locked container, i say sure, but its a 50-50 % chance (i was a novice at the time) , he ponders it for about a minute why i stand there then says sure, anyways i mess up and break it, after i told him heused /punch at me about 9 times, all i said was lol, then he challanges me to a duel, and i tell him im sorry i warned you, he does another round of /punch, then i accept and just say A ...i let my boar wolf do the rest
-Sopako Sola-
smuggler, rifleman, tka, X-ch
Exarukun
Mon Jun 14, 2004 7:28 pm
#909
Hehe, a two liner.
Malgoof tells you: Will you slice 2 sets of composite armor and a composite chest piece for 100 cred per %?
Me: No
Honestly..... why
Exarukun
Mon Jun 14, 2004 8:00 pm
#910
Dude: Can you slice 3 rifles for me?
Me: 7k per slice.
Dude: What makes the slice so expensive?
Me: How much did you pay for the rifles?
Dude: How about this, 3k is the going rate for slices, i'll pay that.
Dude: I made them.
Me: How about this, how much do you sell the unsliced rifle for?
Dude: 372 creds.
Me: Very funny.
Dude: 75k unsliced.
Me (Quick math in my head) Well if I make it 25% better that is about 19k of the base price.
Dude: How about I talk to a real smuggler who doesn't charge outrageous price
Dude: Oh, and welcome to my ignore list
Me: Ok.
Me: Chuckle for a smuggler welcomes you, we're gonna like this one.
Dude: /denyservice
Me: Fine by me /denyservice
/denyserviceDude: Why would I care, I don't wanna do buisness with you anyway.
Me: Ok /addignore
/addignorelol