Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
I have it so many times that the customer open trade with me and I can't see his open trade message or the customer can't see mine.
Also the "can't trade with the opposite faction" thing is haywired as well. It is so buggy.
Guy-01: Hey man, can you slice some armor for me?????/
Me: Not right now, im hunting on lok.
Guy-01: Why not? slicers should always be available!
Me: I'm hunting on Lok right now, if you want to wait for me to come back ill gladly slice your armor.
Guy-01: **edit** MAN! THE LAST SLICER I PAYED FAILED AND I WNAT A MASTER SLICER!!!!!!!!
Me: I told you, im hunting on Lok right now, come back later.
Guy-01: I ned a slice
Guy-01: I ned a slice
Guy-01: I ned a slice
Guy-02: My friend wants a slice come to theed.
Me:/ignore both
Guy-03: my friend wants a slice, hell pay you 80k.
I immediatley un ignore and head to theed, and get 80k for slicing a suit of ubese armor.
Guy-01: Hey man i just heard that its only 20k for armor
Me: too bad, you payed me 80.
Guy-01: **edit** DUDE I DID SO MANY MISSIONS.
Me: Funny, I didnt do any missions.
/ignore guy-01 guy-02 guy-03
A System Message appears in all chat boxes as well as across the screen, much like a Server Message (about an unscheduled routine "reboot") or an announcement of XP of Faction gains and losses. It always says the name first, but thankfully, most people are illiterate and only read what they want to read.
One of the things I do as a Squad Leader is try to keep my group happy. Very often, that includes weeding out the losers, the whiners, the complainers, the idiots. I'll always take the time to explain something to someone who does not know, but sometimes they don't like hearing it.
"Please don't pull Banthas into the fight when we are already getting stomped."
"We will do your missions, but this one is closer. Hey! Come back!"
"You're a Novice Swordsman, you can't agro MOBs first."
That sort of thing. For people who don't catch on, or for people who are just being jerks inside the group, the easiest thing to do is just to boot them right the **** out. No amount of extra firepower is worth having a jerk in the group who ruins the fun for everyone else. Before doing this, I usually send a special system message.
"Congratulations LameD3WD! You have unlocked your Force Sensative slot! Return to the Character Selection screen to create your new Jedi character!"
Usually they log out long before I can kick them.
Khayden wrote:
Yesterday a guys messages me:
guy:"Hey I want my weapon sliced"
me:"Excellent, I can help you out there"
guy:" I want a good slice!"
me: "I want to give you a good slice, however you have to remember, it's random and I have little control over how it will turn out."
guy:"I want 30% Damage"
me:"Like I said it's random, and I can't choose damage over speed, that is random as well."
guy:"Master Smuggler can."
me:"No, a Master Smuggler will have a chance to get you a higher slice than I can,but he also has a chance to go lower than me."
guy:"Okay, do it for Damage"
me;"Sigh, I can't slice it for damage, it might be speed, as I said before it's random. I can sell you some PowerUps that will increase your Damage by 33% for 100 uses."
guy:" yah yah! Thats good, how long do they last?"
me:"Um, 100 uses."
guy:"Okay slice my weapon and give me 2 PowerUps."
me:"27% speed increase"(ofcourse..it was fate!)
guy:"Awww..I told you damage!, It was already fast!"
me:"Yeah, I got the hint, sorry, told you it was random, here's your weapon"
guy"**edit**! You made it slower!!!"
me:"How so?"
guy:"It used to be 3.8 speed, now it's 2.3"
me:"yeah, umm...would you rather the rifle fire once every 3.8 seconds or once every 2.3 seconds?"
guy"Oh...right, can you slice it for 30% Damage now?"
me: /ignore guy
ROFL That one is good. I know how you feel.
I've only been a smuggler for a few days now, but I'm doing pretty well for myself. Maxed out Spices on the second day and now I'm working on Slicing. At Slicing II at the moment, which means I've just been introduced to weapon slicing and the need for WUKs.
Been grabbing them off the bazaar mostly, but usually I can catch a better deal if I find a weaponsmith to make me some in person.
Anyway, this night I'm totally out, itching to make some exp, and there's nota single WUK on the Tatooine bazaar or any of the shops I frequent. So I'm spamming for a weaponsmith to make me some, and I get some dude with a Novice Artiscan title telling me he'l do it.
I'ma little puzzled, so I ask if he actually knows how to make a WUK. He says sure, he does it all the time. 100 cr each.
You know what they say. If it sounds too good to be true....but I couldn't help myself. I bit.
Wow, sounds like a great price. I look at my cash..7k handy. I'll take 70. I can wait for you to make them.
He's wowed by such a bulk order, and that kinda makes me even more suspicious. I follow him over to the crafting station, asking him if he really does know how to make a WUK...and explaining specifically that I need Weapon UPGRADE KITS, not Weapon Crafting Tools or Weapon Upgrades or anything like that. I even say that if he's not at least a Novice Weaponsmith, he won't be able to.
Well no response, he's busying himself with the crafting station.
Nothing to lose, I wait around. Slice a couple containers from passerbys.
My Artisan friend finally perks up, and requests a trade, and asks me "is ths what u want?"
It's a weapon upgrade. Some kind of scope. It was a let-down, so I didn't even check the stats.
"No. I told you I need a Weapon Upgrade Kit. It's a slicing tool. Only Weaponsmiths can make them. Are you a weaponsmith? Your title says Novice Artisan..."
"Oh yeah I kno what u want just a sec."
Shoulda walked away, but I really wanted those WUKs...I was willing to gamble.
Time passes. He perks up again. Another trade window.
And another upgrade.
Told him thanks anyway, and went and did some missions instead. Felt like throttling him.
dont stop! there must be more! reading this thread is better than playing the game
Sitting slicing away at the mission terminals in Kaadara a sod walks up.
Sod: Can you slice my Laser Rifle?
Me: I would like to but do not have the skill yet.
Sod: Oh what about this CDEF One? Can you slice this rifle?
Me: Sorry I dont have the skills to slice Rifles yet.
Sod: How about My Carbine? Can you slice that?
Me: No I cannot slice weapons yet sorry.
Sod: Slice My pistol. All slicers can slice pistols.
Me: Hey i can slice containers for you but I dont have the skills for anything else.
Sod: What kind of noob slicer are you?
Sod walks off. Some people just dont get it.
I got two
1. -say my macro, slicing weapons and armor, blah blah, 2k per slice, blah blah
can't-read2:hey so how much for a full suit of composite
me: 18k
can't-read2: cool where can i meet you
me: front of the starport
can't-read2: ok and what is the effectivness and encumb on the helm, chest and the pants
me:I'm S-L-I-C-I-N-G notS-E-L-L-I-N-G.
Swear to god this has happened to me like 10 or 20 times
Or this one that happened today
him: hey where are u i need you to slice my armor
me: cantina ok i will slice it
he comes into the cantina
him: hey i only need you to slice 8 pieces ok
me
k sure
I slice the pieces then trade with him again
First he accepts and he puts no money down so
me:and the payment??
Then he puts 2500 in the box
me: you know u only typed 2.5k right????
Then he puts 5k in the box
me: gonna cost a lot more than 5k
him: how much i only have 6k
me: try 16k
I really hate it when this happens, because it is partly my fault, but i assume he saw my macro, so now i am holding his composite while he goes on a Yavin 4 hunt THEN goes and does missions for money!!!
Seems like people dont realize that it costs us money to slice their stuff...
[quote]I really hate it when this happens, because it is partly my fault, but i assume he saw my macro, so now i am holding his composite while he goes on a Yavin 4 hunt THEN goes and does missions for money!!!/[quote]
Pizza the Hutt: You forgot Late Charges
Lone Star: A million Spacebucks? Thats Unfair
Pizza the Hutt: Unfair to payor not unfair to payee
Got a great one from last night. I made the noob mistake of getting killed without cloning, so after finishing my missions and harvester run I told a loyal customer I'd meet her at the cantina so I could recover while I sliced.
No problems with Loyal Customer #1. Loyal Customer #2 happens to be in the cantina and also requests my services. This is when this happens:
Musician A: Can you slice my Carbine? It's a 4.5 speed and needs to be faster.
(Mental note: it's probably a CDEF.)
Dancer A: Can you slice my weapon too?
Recovering person A: Can you slice my mine also?
Dancer B: Can you slice my backpack?
(Mental note: backpack?)
Me: I can do those things but I charge 2500 per slice.
Dancer B: n/m
Recovering person A: so you would charge 2500 for my CDEF pistol?
Me: I charge 2500 no matter what I'm slicing.
Musician A: No offense, but I know people who do that for free. Sounds like a scam.
Me: Good. You can go find one of them to do your slicing.
Recovering person A: you're on drugs dood.
Me: And you're a moron on my ignore list.
So, I finish doing what I needed to do there.
/tip Dancer B 1000
/tip Dancer C 500 (she only danced half the time I was there)
/tip Musician B 500
/tip Musician C 1000
Dancer B: Thanks for the tip
Dancer C: Thanks, hun.
Musician B: /thank
Musician C: thanks!
Me: Take care, all!
Musician A: don't I get a tip? (in a /tell)
Me: Here's a tip: don't insult your customers.
Got a great one for you. Made me howl last night.
I'm in a starport in Kaadara on Naboo, waiting for a transport to take me to Tatooine. There I bump into an aquaintance, Master Doctor Peanut Butter, and we start talking.
Me:Hey Peanut, how's it going?
PB: Not bad, nice to see you.
Me: Just setting up a shop here in Kaadara, you setting up shop here too?
PB: No just visiting for a bit.
Me:The scenery here is really nice. I like Kaadara but I think it will be a little sleepy for business
PB: I like Kaadara too.
Guy from Nowhere: I like Aldaraan.
PB: Aldaraan's a pile of floating rocks buddy.
Guy from Nowhere: WHAT?
Guy from Nowhere: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
By this time the transport has landed and Peanut Butter has boarded. Guy from Nowhere runs up to Ticket Droid, stops for a momentand yells, "OGM my ticket to Aldaraan doesn't work!"
heh great stuff guys.
seems like 50% of hte slice tells I get are "CAN U SLICE??"
Lets see I am standing in front of the spaceport wit hmy Slicer tag up, quoteing my priceing and such to all who pass....And i think to myself, "do I really want to begin this again..."
So now I but all my Sliceing pricing and policy in my bio, I ask anyone who wants a slice to read it, the lastfew lines are: Slices are random I cannot pick anything about it. No cash, I keep your stuff. and /tell me you agree to these prices and policy before we begin.
Seems to help alot. 