Smuggler Archive

SCENE: Outside my houselistening a friend talk to a CSR about something to do with his house. Another CSR shows up and just stands there.

Me: Hi, CSR#2. You have a minute to help me out? I have items on my vendor I can not retrieve.

CSR#2: Sure, where is your house?

Me: (take CSR#2 inside) Here it is, I'll admin you on the vendor and you just look inside and see if you can get my stuff out.

CSR#2: (walks around aimlessly)

Me: The vendor is right here. (points to a Twi'lek)

CSR#2: What door is your stuff in? (walks around aimlessly)

Me: (perplexed)

CSR#2:I can't pick anything up.

Me: (stare)

CSR#2: (walks around aimlessly)

Me: I have items stuck on my vendor and can't get them out. I have admin'd you on the vendor. Can you please see if you can get them out? Use some of that CSR-Mojo you have and fix it?

CSR#2: How can I get things out of a vendor if I don't have one?

Me: This vendor here. (points)

CSR#2: I don't have a vendor. (walks out the door and runs 50 meters away to stare at a gorg lair)

Me: /shout Want to sell a clue!

ROFLMAO!!! oh, these are the best. I have never found a funnier thread anywhere.

OK, heres mine, from back when i used fans

Me: /slicingspam

girl:heyyou the slicer?

me: yes i am

girl: ok what do you charge?

me:i charge 100 credits for each percent improved

girl: okwhat's your success rate?

(I think "wow an informed customer great")

me: well i use fans right now, so there is a small chance that i might fail, but it won't hurt the gun if i do. Just can't be sliced again

girl: ok sounds good

i accept the trade. i then use the fan, and it was wrong.

me: well that small chance just happened i failed

girl: ok want to try another?

im thinking boy this girls a good customer not only is she informed but understanding too!

me: ok, i shouldn't have any problems this time i have never failed twice in a row

i accept the trade. then i use the fan, it fails again!!

me: um, sorry my luck seems to be bad today i failed again

girl: that's ok, i have another gun if you want to try again

HOLY HANNA! this girls amazing! most people would have insulted me and left after the first try!

me: ok sure

i get the next gun and slice it for a 27% damage increase (about time)

me: ok i got a 27%, that's 2700

girl: ok

we trade back and she gives me not the 2700 credit fee, but 3000 credits!

me: thanks for the tip

girl: your welcome, see you around

needless to say that was the last time i used fans to slice again. With my luck and the fact that i had just run into one of the most perfect customers ever, the next person that that happened too would try to get me banned from the game! So i promtly went out and bought myself a crate of clamps.

guess this goes to show that not all of the people on Galaxies are idiots

My favorite encounter is this:

Customer: Hey I need something sliced

Me: Sure, what do you need sliced?

Customer: What can slicing do for me?

Me: Well on a container it can open it, on armor it can (and so on, you all know what slicing can do...)

Customer: Oh kewl, so how do we go about this?

Me: Well I charge 1.5k per slice

Customer: Oh...do you do good slices?

Me: Well I'mSlicing IV (hence my title of Slicer) so yah I do ok slices

Customer: 1.5k? Man that's a lot, I hope this treasure is good

Then it dawns on me that he's not talking about a gun or armor here...

Me: Uhhh....right click on the disk and click "Decode"

Customer: Oh sweet! I didn't know I even had smuggler skills!

Me: Yup, what a coincidence, good luck *runs away as fast as he can*

First time post but I just had to say this little story

There I was doing my usual spam thing in coronet

me : master smuggler spam i can do up to 35% on weapons blah blah blah

idiot : you cant get that high on percentages nobody can.

As this point I notice that this chap is a master creature handler and has been advertising that he is selling retarded animals for 4k each

me : er, are you a master smuggler? I tell you I can, who are you to say that I cant?

idiot : You're an idiot. Nobody can slice that high. i was a novice smuggler and i couldnt do it.

me : You can check the forums if you like, its all there

idiot : look moron , if you could slice up to 35%, it would say so when i type ctrl-s and look up master smuggler . you masters get nothing at all. hahahahah. what do you say about that????

me : I say, welcome to my ignore list.

Great thread folks. What a barrel of laughs. I'm just starting into the commercial slicing business so I may be posting here soon.

If any of you have a vendor you're bound to get this.

Customertells you, "Hey I bought some spice from your vendor and it disappeared!"

I reply: Well fortunate for you I have an inventory disappearing replacement policy. Where are you at?

You would not believe the die hard customer base you will develop by going a bit out of your way and giving them something that they pay for. Even though the spice shows up the next day in their inventory after a reboot, they will only buy from me from then on.

Thanks for participating in the thread. Lots of great stories out there. This game is a lot of laughs for me. I hope it is for you too!

I don't think it's appropriate to label someone as an idiot because their understanding of the game isfar less than yours. I don't understand why some people would ignore someone just because they want to further their knowledge in the gameYes some of their questions or comments may not have been what the normal SWG player would have asked/said (for all you know they could be little kids), but i don't think it's necessary to call them idiots or ignore them. Some people need to learn patience instead of just trying to rush through situations. Some are very funny though. In the end, it's still just a game.

You know, I don't know why it never crossed my mind that everyone else would have similar stories to mine! I was the first to reach Master Smuggler on Kettemoor and in the process developed a large number of loyal clients. I'm expensive (4,000 per weapon) but 100% accurate and trustworthy. I have my share of headache customers like the one who constantly complains every single timethat I wont spend the 6000+ round trip travel costs to Rori to slice is latest Heavy Lance (for 4000)that he just purchased, or the guy who, everytimewithout fail, trades his locked briefcase to me with his weapons, 'just so I check if I can open it yet'.

But here's one little ditty in anchorhead.

d3wD: cUn U SpL1c3 my pStlE?!/!
Me: Sure, I charge 4000 for sLicing.
Novice Smuggler in the distance: /yell SLICING WEAPONS 1.5K!!!!
d3wD: hehusuh. i pay U 1,5k hjheheh
Me: No, I charge 4000 to slice weapons.
Novice Smuggler in the distance: /yell SLICING WEAPONS 1.5K!!!!
d3wD: Btu he cHrgnG pNly 1/5!!!1!1
Me: He's a novice smuggler and I am a master. I have 100% chance of success and get about 5% higher results than other smugglers.
Novice Smuggler in the distance: /yell SLICING WEAPONS 1.5K!!!!
d3wD: i pau U 2k
Me: No, I charge 4000 to slice weapons.
d3wD: PLZZzzZZZzzZz!!1!1/
Me: /ignore d3wD

About 10 minutes later, d3wD is following me around in and out of the med center and I come to realize he wants to talk to me again. So, I remove him from my ignore list.

d3wD: TahT gUtysade h3 faLed so I pay U 3k

I couldn't add him back to my ignore list quickly enough.

Well I guess I got too much of those CDEF slicing experience of my own similar to u guys, so I thought might tell something mre upbringing and more different.

I own a slice weapon shop and I slice weaps for ppl as well. A few days ago I just got my Slice IV and carried my Slicer title from Mos Eisley (cuz I couldn't find anyone to train me and i got business to attend to so I paid).

The I run into this guy who stopped me in the middle of my way to restocking when I pass the bazaar and he as can I slice his socut for him? so I said yeah np I'll check it out. It is a bazaar scout. As u all prob know most bazaar weap don't have dam over 100 or speed below 2. So I take a look, turns out it is already sliced. So I return the gun, he is a disappointed and as me do I happen to sell a better gun? I said yeah sure I own a modified weapon shop I'll give u the waypoint come check anytime. Then as me does my scouts has as good stat as his? I said all of the scouts at my store have dam over 140 at least and he said u r **edit**ting me rite, so I said well come see for urself and u'll see.

So he did came and few hrs later, ran into him just as I was restocking, so I show him around and he was pretty awe inspired by all the stats on the guns (most got pretty standard stats for weapon from some master weaponsmith + my slice)so he was having a hard time making a decision. Now I must say this guy is pretty smart cuz he chose a scout with scope (killer short range accuracy modifier at only +1/+1/+1 HAM on the normal 11/22/11, 18% damage slice) so he head out and said he hopes this gun will help him get his XP quick. I said well the gun I just sold u can kill most things that r hanging aroudn my house in within 20 secs (cu pas, moutn mites, etc). And he said no u r **edit**ting me rite so I said nah go try it go ahead if u r in trouble I'll back ya up, just spam bodyshots.

So we went outside, he killed a cu pa in within 5-6 hits, and he was like wow. And the I go here I'll show u fwg5 and I kill one in 3 shots. then for the next 15-20mins we were running around my house killing the beasties around it.

Man should see it, sure feels like a trailer park rampage or something I'd say it is good to introduce and share the fun of guns with other ppl, good old trailer park style

I think that guy skilled up 1 lvl rite outside of my backyard that day

I really love it when people try to trick me into giving them a really cheap slice;

GUY; hey, I heard you're an excellent slicer

Me; best I can be, only the highest quality components used

GUY; great! How much for a full set of composite armor to be sliced?

Me; lets see, 4k per piece, with discounts, so I'd do it for 32k

GUY; oh, ok, that's all I needed to know

Me; alright, well, contact me later then

-few minutes pass-

GUY; you know, I got a Master Smuggler who will do it for 9k

Me; that's nice, I wasn't aware that slicing for 1000 creds per piece had become cost effective and worthwhile for a mastersmuggler.

Me; Well, I'm glad you found that deal then. Who is giving it to you?

-few minutes pass-

GUY; I won't give you the name, you may start telling him not to do it

Me; No, I'm good friends with all the Master Smugglers on this server, I just want to know which one of us is lowering the prices so much. He's obviously getting his materials really cheap now, I just want the hook up.

Me; or you know, it could just be a regular smuggler with molecular clamps just telling you he can slice

GUY; no, he's a master smuggler on tatooine

Me; who? Just tell me, I won't blackmail him or anything

GUY; I don't believe you

-so at this point I'm pretty much sure the guy is BSing me about this mysterious master smuggler who slices for 1k per composite armor piece-

-but this next tell confirms it-

GUY; You know, I still haven't got it sliced yet, even though you were kinda an **edit** I'll let you do it for 8.5k

Me; no I'll pass, 500 creds more, isn't that much, and I don't slice for that cheap

GUY; fine, you just lost yourself a good customer




Yeah...I bet this has happened to all of us at one point.

Oh oh! I have the screens of that conversation (I did that roughly by memory) if anybody can give me hosting I'll post them, the real one is even better.

Ok, I got one. Kinda makes me look evil, but hey, I'm a smuggler right. Actually this one doesn't even involve slicing, it came up in one of those after conversations you have when your slicing in a cantina.

Dude gets his gun back, had a nice 33% damage slice on it so he was happy, I was happy he was happy, everything was good.

Dude- I should have my friend come get his lightsaber sliced.

Me- Umm....lightsaber?

Dude- Yeah, he opened his force slot, and now he's got his lightsaber, I bet you could make it super uber (or something to that effect)

Me- Well, I guess I could be wrong, but I pretty positive that your friend is pulling your chain.

Dude- No he isn't you don't know what your talking about. I've seen it.

Me- (Now I really don't want to start an argument, but for some reason I felt the need to prove to this guy he was wrong, I dunno why) Well, I've read the forums man, I'm pretty sure the devs have said that no one has opened their FS slot yet.

Dude- They're just lying, and your an idiot. How would you know? Did you open your force slot? (His words were a bit harsher,a lot more profane,he kinda blew up on me)

Now at this point I've pretty much figured outhis game. He was trying to throw stories around and I blew his cover, now he was getting defensive. That's when I decided to get really evil.

Me- Well, actually, I'm a friend of one of the devs (lie), and he gave me a hint. Want to know the secret?

Dude- (Attitude completely changes from defensive to curious) Really? What do you know?

Me- Well, I have this tool here, it's supposed to work like a resource surveyor, but it works on force powers. You survey and when you find the highest pocket it's supposed to open your FS slot.

Dude- No way! Can I borrow it?

Me- Know what? I don't want to be a Jedi, you can have it. (I thought about charging him for it, but I'm not THAT evil)

So I hand the guy the broken sandstat I got from some NPC mission somewhere and tell the guy that I've hear the highest concentrations were found out in the distant parts of Dathomir, and it won't work till you get close. He runs out the door, I run to my ignore list.

Talk about making your own content. I'm a **edit**, I know. But it was funny.

THAT's Freakin Awsome!!!

Man the only people I get are Lamers that take slightly longer than FOREVER to use thier Trade window.

How hard is it. Drag item to Box, hit Accept, Hit Ok. why does this take 5 min for people?