Smuggler Archive

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Daermoth wrote:
This is where you refer back to the swoop sale post and charge this guy more every time he says something dumb.

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I loved that one. Been my inspiration.

I was on in the middle of the night (night duty messes with my sleep pattern something chronic) and I got a tell froma l33t d00d wanting a slice.

I told him I charge 5k per slice and he said thats too much I'll go elsewhere. This is fine by me as I only slice for mates nowadays anyway.

5 minutes later I get a tell, he cannot find another master Smuggler around (they all have the sense to not wear their titles perhaps?) and even though I'm cheating him, he'll "allow" me to slice his weapon.

Well, now the price is 7k for the slice (what inspiration) and he tells me to go bite myself.

5 minutes later he's back again, even ruder than before, so of course, the price is now 10k.

This went on until the price was 15k per slice and he finally grew up. He came to me (no way was I travelling to him now) and I find out he actually has 10 weapons to slice! At 15k per slice! Oh happy day!

I was almost crossing my fingers for poor slices but I actually got 2 35% slices, and the rest all over 25%, but hey, I was happy and he learned a little lesson. He's actually a regular customer now, and he never complained at my prices again!

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Christophano wrote:

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Daermoth wrote:
This is where you refer back to the swoop sale post and charge this guy more every time he says something dumb.

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I loved that one. Been my inspiration.

I was on in the middle of the night (night duty messes with my sleep pattern something chronic) and I got a tell from a l33t d00d wanting a slice.

I told him I charge 5k per slice and he said thats too much I'll go elsewhere. This is fine by me as I only slice for mates nowadays anyway.

5 minutes later I get a tell, he cannot find another master Smuggler around (they all have the sense to not wear their titles perhaps?) and even though I'm cheating him, he'll "allow" me to slice his weapon.

Well, now the price is 7k for the slice (what inspiration) and he tells me to go bite myself.

5 minutes later he's back again, even ruder than before, so of course, the price is now 10k.

This went on until the price was 15k per slice and he finally grew up. He came to me (no way was I travelling to him now) and I find out he actually has 10 weapons to slice! At 15k per slice! Oh happy day!

I was almost crossing my fingers for poor slices but I actually got 2 35% slices, and the rest all over 25%, but hey, I was happy and he learned a little lesson. He's actually a regular customer now, and he never complained at my prices again!

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I have a funny story. My sister did this. Before you make fun of her keep in mind she is only 12 and she's homeschooled

She decided to make a new character. She named it Korea (the o sounding like oh). She says, "Look at my new character. Her name is Korea (she said it with the o making the oh sound). I'm like cool. Due to her terrible spelling and grammar she thought it was pronounced K(oh)rea instead of Korea. She gets in the game and hilarity ensues:

Weaponsmith: Are you new? Do you want a free gun?

Her: Sure

He gives her the gun. They talk for a bit then decide to go do some missions.

While they where getting the missions-

Weaponsmith: Are you Korean?

Her: Korean??? :confusedShe is thinking it is a Star Wars species. Keep in mind she thinks her name is pronounced K(oh)rea)

After a few minutes of trying to explain it to her, he gives up and they go to do there missions.

On the way to the missions(he must have still had Korea on his mind-

Weaponsmith: You know, Korea is a country.

Her: Really? I didn't know that(It still hasn't hit her that she is pronouncing it wrong)

After they finish there missions ~BANG~ it hits her. She tells him she is retarded and has to log out. She promptly deletes her new character.

Next time she makes a new character she is going to try and not name it after a country.

When I was leveling up smuggler on bria I ran a macro for slicing containers free, stating that they keep the items inside. Also put in my macro that there was a chance to find crystals in the containers. Heres my story:

Dude: Hey, what is the chance that you can find a crystal in a locked container?

Me: I'm notexactly sure, if I had to guess though it would be 1% out of 100%

Dude: What exactly do you mean by that?

Me: (laughing in real life) I mean that the odds of you finding a crystal in a locked container are very high.

Dude: Okay but can you guarentee me that if you slice my container I will get a force crystal?

Me: No I cannot guarentee you anything. Actually if I slice your container there might not be ANYTHING in it at all.

Dude: But if you open my container for me and there is nothing in it, will I get my money back or will you give something in return.

Me: (laughing harder now) Umm, I said that I'm slicing them for free. And no, I will not give you anythingbecause that's how containers are.

Dude: Okay then slice my container and if at all possible try and find a force crystal for me. I'll pay 1k if you can do this for me.

I slice the container and just my luck, nothing in it!! lmao so I took my hide boots and put them in the container.

Me: Okay all done, accept the trade.

Dude: I already have hide boots, what am I going to do with another pair??

Me: Sell them on the bazzar for 1k.

Dude: You want to buy them for 1k??

Me: (fell of my chair at this point) No thanks just bought a pair yesterday.

Dude: Okay then thank you.

Me: /ignore

I seriously never laughed so hard in my life. lol

Could you imagine if he wanted his weapon or armor sliced and it came out the opposite of what he wanted?? I'd have to do a /ninjalog lol

This thread is so funny...

So, my story is this,

I was doing some quenker missions on dant to get some rifle exp for hologrinding. I was sitll wearing my master smuggler title, cuz i was low on cash, so i thought id make some money, and I guess i forgot to take it off.

So this guy asked ifI would slice his gun for him.I layed out my price rap, and he agreed. He traded me the gun, I got a sweet 32% speed slice on it, he payed me, and I switched off my title to novice rifleman, and headed on my way to my missions. Halfway there I get a tell from him.

Him - Hey you said you got a speed slice on my gun.

Me - Yeah I did, 32% speed increase.

Him - Ur lying. The speed was 2.5 before now its like 1.3

Me - (thinking, yeah thats a good slice, I dont care what planet you come from) Whats wrong? That sounds right to me.

HIm - Im not stupid, I've played this game for a long time. If you sliced it right, the speed would be higher.

Me - (Getting confused a bit, but then realizing how stupid this guy was) No the speed on a gun is how long you wait between shots, its good to have a low speed.

Him - This is stupid. Im reporting you to customer service.

Me - LOL Yeah you do that, they'll probably ban you for being so stupid.

Him - Well see whos laughing when you can't play anymore.

Me - lol /ignore

Then I went on my way and killed quenkers happily.

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Humanoid_Typhoon46 wrote:
A while back i sliced someone's armor but the dialogue was kinda interesting:

Me = Me
Moron = Him

Moron /tell hey, i hear you can slice my armor
Me yeah i can, my price is 4k
Moron can you give me a speed increase?
Me it will only increase the speed on weapons
Moron oh can you give me increase damage then?
Me no, it works like that on weapons, why don't i just slice your weapon?
Moron I fight unarmed, how much would that cost to slice?
Me /ignore moron

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Humanoid_Typhoon46 wrote:
A while back i sliced someone's armor but the dialogue was kinda interesting:

Me = Me
Moron = Him

Moron /tell hey, i hear you can slice my armor
Me yeah i can, my price is 4k
Moron can you give me a speed increase?
Me it will only increase the speed on weapons
Moron oh can you give me increase damage then?
Me no, it works like that on weapons, why don't i just slice your weapon?
Moron I fight unarmed, how much would that cost to slice?
Me /ignore moron

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Daermoth wrote:
He was serious, and dont call him shirley

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