Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
Ok, so we all know the new Droid Invasion has gotten people
who normally shouldn't be allowed near heavy machinery on
the Combat Droid bandwagon. I'm running around in Coronet
with my Master Smuggler title up minding my own business
when I get a /tell.
Dude: Excuse me, I need a slice.
Me: Sure thing, I charge 100c per % increase. Meet me in
front of the cantina.
So I run over there and see he's already waiting, so I wave
to him and ask him to trade. The trade window opens the
first time and I'm all happy because it seems that I have
finally found a customer with some sense... then he puts 2
probot deeds in the window.
Me: Um... I don't think I can slice droids.
Dude: Since this one shoots and has armor, can you slice
both? The 1st probot is prenerf, so can you slice that one
for armor?
Me: Smugglers can only slice weapons and armor.
Dude: That's what I'm saying, they have both so slice both.
Me: And I'm telling you I can't slice droids, they're not
equipable, I can only slice player weapons, armor, terminals
and locked containers.
Dude: Cool! I think the bot has a terminal, so could you
slice that too? How much for 3 slices?
Me: (I really can't believe he's serious) I can't help you,
I can't slice droids. Period. I can't slice anything about
them.
Dude: What about just damage, can you slice his laser?
Me: Look, let me say this
Me: Very
Me: Slowly.
Me: I cannot modify any droid in any way. Nor can any other
smuggler slice any droid. It's just not possible.
This was all being said in spatial, so we had gathered a
little crowd. At this point one of the on lookers pops in
Dude2: My brother is a smuggler on Flurry, he slices droids
all the time. But you need a DUK.
Me: A DUK? like a Droid upgrade kit?
Dude2: yeah, you have to get them from the DE when you buy
the droid.
Dude: I don't have one of those, can anyone sell me one?
Dude: /shout "CAN ANYONE SELL ME A DUK???"
Me: Look, slicing droids is impossible, I PROMISE. No matter
what anyone says, you can not do it.
Dude2: YES U CAN
Dude: I'm going to go back to the DE and get a DUK, can you
wait here?
Me: Sure, I'll wait right here.
Dude runs off. I go about my business. Dude2 pesters me
about free slices/spice since he helped me SO much. I give
him a hit of gold. He takes it and then stands around
watching dancers. Then he pukes on the dancers and they hit
him. Obviously, Dude2 is not the brightest crayon in the
box.
After about 1/2 hour, I'm out shopping in the South Coronet
area, I get a /tell from the droid guy.
Dude: Where did you go?
Me: I'm out shopping, did the DE straighten you out?
Dude: He wasn't online, and his vendor was out of DUKs.
Me: (/bangheadonwall) Look, for the LAST TIME. YOU. CAN.
NOT. SLICE. DROIDS.
Dude: Oh, ok.
I get an e-mail saying "Dude has successfully deposited
10000 credits on your account"
Me: Thanks for the tip. Sorry I couldn't help you.
Dude: It's ok, I'll give you a /tell when I find a DUK.
Me: You know, tell me when you do, I'll even slice your
droid for free.
Dude: Wow! Thanks!
At least he was polite, if VERY VERY DENSE. I now refer to
this as the DUK hunting story. I think we need to talk to
SOE about everyone being droid certified, some people should
never be allowed to use them without supervision.
Gotta love this game!
Pelligrosa wrote
Dude: /shout "CAN ANYONE SELL ME A DUK???"
no response)No cowardice there. Dayasi NEVER duels...
"I'm not gonna fight you, Ringo. There's no money it."
-Kurt Russell
"Tombstone"
I love noobs. They are so entertaining ... and remind me of how much I have learned in SWG.
Do we get a degree in SWG? (We do learn a lot) 
Geevo wrote:
I love noobs. They are so entertaining ... and remind me of how much I have learned in SWG.
Do we get a degree in SWG? (We do learn a lot)
Yeah... If you tell them at MacDonalds that you are a Master Smuggler in SWG, they'll let you slice the potatoes! 
Message Edited by WayneInAustin on 03-23-2004 05:12 PM
Not really related to smuggler (well....I am sort of running away from the authorities....kinda ), but here it goes......
I just got more RAM so I don't lag when I go to Bestine anymore, so I decided to go there and hang out at the Cantina. I found and overt Imperials, who was also an Expert Bounty Hunter, so I started up a little conversation.....
Me: Hello, there.
Imperial: Hi
Me: (Noticing he is holding a Scatter) Nice hair drier you've got there.
Imperial: Yeah, it's good (I don't remember his exact words...something along those lines)
(Imperial and some other guy, who might have been a covert Imperial, but I don't know...not that it matters, start making fun of my swoop helmet)
Imperial (to his buddy): Maybe we should slice his throat.....
Me: (Now sitting at a table) Eep....(standing up) I'm not afraid of you!
(Imperial challenges me to a duel)
Me: Uh....er.....
Imperial: Come on, duel for fun, no DB.
Me: Err......
Imperial: Why not? You a Jedi or something?
Me: NO!
Imperial: Then let's duel.
Me: Uh...er....eh....uh.....CYA! ( I burst run out back door of Bestine Cantina, and continue up a hill.....shortly after I notice the Imperial coming to me on his swoop)
(Imperial keeps asking to duel, as I wait for my swoop bike to generate)
Me: (getting on bike) CYA!
(A swoop chase begins)
Me: HAHA!!! YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!!!
(We keep riding....But as we get to be about 200 meters away from Anchorhead, he turns around)
*****************************
I love role playing a guy who is a firm believer in cowardice
I decided to check out the Smugglers' forum for some info as I am just starting my smuggling career, and I have not gotten past this thread!
Its not a story aboutan idiotcustomer but I think it is satisfying nonetheless. Let me take all of you veteran smugglers back to the days when all you could slice were locked containers, which is what Ihave beenstuck doing for the past day and a half. Seeing asthe competitionwas offering to pay up to 5k per container (is this what things have come to?), the fist day was tough and I sliced a grand total of one empty container. I hit coronet the next day and started spamming... I look up and notice a fish selling some containers and in desperation ask for his price.
his reply: sure, I have 6 containers for 10k each, I will give you a discount if you buy them all (50k)
At this point Iwas bummed, and had to seriously fight the urge to swallow my pride and just buy the whole damNed lot.... It was gonna be a long night.
I said thanks but no thanks and decided to do the meatlumps myself. The spot just outside the starport was already taken by a novice pikeman. I send him a /tell asking that he look me up if he finds any containers, to which he replys "great, I already have a few you can open".
I think everyonecan understandthe joy i felt when the pikeman handed me 13 containers!!! Enough topush me through to slicing II. For his troubles, and because I firmly believe that the server gods were smiling upon us both that night, one of the pikeman's containers had a pretty sweet armor attachment inside.
After the slicing session I logged with a stupid grin still stuck on my face.
Kaemus