Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
This happened to me outside the cononet starport today:
i had some time before my shuttle was leaving so i figured that i might as well make some money while waiting. so i run my slicing macro : slicing armor and weapons 100 credits pr % Send tell
This guy walks up
Guy : can you slice my weapons
Me: Sure 100 credits pr %
Guy : NP
Then i get this tell from another guy can you slice my armor, i reply sure just gotta slice this guys weapons first
So these two guys are standing there the first puts his weapons in the trade window put in 200 credits and marks accept
Me : its 100 credits pr % u have to wait till after ive sliced it to pay.
Guy : Accept the trade!
me : listen my price is 100 credits pr % so if its a 10% slice its 1000, a 20% its 2000 get it?
guy : SLICE NOW!!
me: im not slicing until you remove the 200 from the trade and pay my rate after the slice
Guy : slice i gotta go hunting!!
Tell from the guy waiting : I understad my friend is a slicer
so i hit ctrl+r to reply but dont hit the r and keep typing im not talking to you im talking to the jackass standing next to you
Hit enter and boom it hits the spatial.
The clueless guy stands up and silently walk away, gotta say it was an effectiv way to get rid of a clueless guy.
still amazed at people thinkin people will slice for nextto nothing, **edit** for 100 credits pr slice il just sell the resources.
The second was awesome, but that first one just made me about fall out of my chair. Thanks for making my day a bit better 
Just to add to all of the other great experiences as a smuggler - here's another case of Spice Experience:
Grouped with some friends, we camped while healing, getting over downers and waiting on another friend. Friend arrives:
****************************************************************************************
Sothicus Kitara gives friend a hug.
Friend gives Sothicus Kitara a hug.
Sothicus pukes.
"Oh thanks a lot.", friend says.
"Sorry, it's the drugs I swear." Sothicus Kitara says.
"Hey we can have Friend2 dance for us" (I should point out, this friend looks like Jean-Luc Picard and seeing Picard wiggle his butt is scary)
"Oh God no" Sothicus Kitara says.
Sothicus Kitara pukes.
**** The conversation continues a few minutes later ****
It could be worse, you could be not playing SWG" Picard-look-alike friend says.
Sothicus Kitara pukes.
***********************************************************************
WayneInAustin wrote:
I think a lot of us have had the accidental OVER PAYMENT BY ONE ZERO happen at some point...
I was slicing in Coronet last night when this lady sees me yelling and asks if I can slice a couple of weapons for her. I say 'certainly' and we trade. From the banter that ensued, I could tell she was fairly new, but not totally new. I finish the slicing, tell her the tab will be 5600.She says "Okey, plus I'll give you a small tip, but I'll have to bank tip you". I said fine, no problem. A few secs later I see an E-mail come in with her name on itand, without looking at it, give her her weapons back. She happily says "Thanks" and goes on her way.
A few minutes later I get to catch a breath so I decide to checkout the emails. I see hers and notice that instead of 7000 she has given me 70000 !! So I send her a tell "Are you sure about that money??". A few seconds later she replies "???" like "What are you talking about".... then all of a sudden I see "O M F G !!" come blasting in, followed by "Thats almost everything I have!Can I get some of it back?". I just laughed, tipped herback 64400and sent the following tell to her: "Ijust tipped you back the 70K minus the 5600 charge. Enjoy, and take care! :-)".
A few minutes later I get an Email with a 10K tip in it."That's for being honest! You are now on my friend's list as my preferred slicer!".
I have only really had two situations with an overpayment. The first was an extra $50k ... and I responded exactly like you did "Um, I think you gave me a wee bit too much" and the response was "no, it was a tip." ... I was a noob and this was like "wow" amounts of money...I was in heaven.
The second was a faction order. It was one of my first bases to sell (and wasn't sure on the pricing). My Smuggler partner needed to get rank to be able to hold enough faction (and the customer would have needed the rank anyway because he couldn't hold it) so I was very vague on the pricing and gave a range of $8-12MM. I told him the end result was that I would do it for $500k profit but I didn't know final cost. He seemed very understanding but wanted to give me the money in something like $3M blocks (why someone will trust with $3MM and not $10MM ... at that point to me ... if they are going to rip you off, it will hurt in either case)... Through the journey of pointing and clicking ... he patiently watched and learned that the more he asked questions (or asked the status) the slower things went since I had to answer his questions.
At the end of the faction deal he told me I should raise my prices to 180 cr/point out of total boredom...and then tipped me an additional $10MM. I quickly told him that he gave me too much money and he was quite insistant that he did not. I told him "you gave me an extra $10MM" and he said "I know". I quickly went to my partner and gave him a portion of the extra tip (no I am not nice enough to give 50%).
This customer quickly became my VIP customer
Greatsails wrote:
Guy: (fine! dickweed, f u!)
Aha!That's what I thought. Do any of us who matured past 15 still use the term "dickweed?"
Oh man! LMFAO! I'm 35 and "dickweed" is about my favorite "clean" expletive. Of course, to be fair I have used ever since I was a teenager and first saw Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (I know, lame movie, but I loved it! ) and Bill says to the knight that he thinks just killed Ted "You killed Ted you medieval dickweed!" Don't know why but that cracked me up and made "dickweed" a permenant additionto my personal vocabulary. Heh, guess that makes me a bigger ggek than I thought.
BTW, great thread!! Been reading it the past 2 nights at work. Up to page 16 and I can't wait to have some of my own stories to post.
Sothicus_Kitara wrote:
Gotta love the timing of Spice-induced puking, lol!
Aw, you beat me to it. I was about to post my Spice-induced puking story. Since it's my first really funny story as a Smuggler, here it is anyway, short and sweet...
Leia Organa: "... thank you so much for your help!"
Renn pukes.
Wow, as hard as it is gonna be to believe i can top all of my earlier stories with this exciting (but short) tale of immaturity and ignorance. PS For all of you new to my style of narrative posting, words in parentheses indicate what i was thinking ( )
So im driving around on Rori again, (that planet seems golden for idiots), and I get a tell, and the conversation goes a little like this...
Fella: Hey
Me: Hi there, what can I do you for?
Fella: I want you to tell me how to get Point of Interest Exploration Badges
Me: (Gee a little forceful there son, but no matter), Well you know what Points of Interest are and how to find them right?
Fella: Ya
Me: Well, I'll give you three guesses, and its really quite obvious
Fella: Ya
Me: Ok, and your first guess is?
Fella: Listen Fool, I dont wanna play no f*cking 20 f*cking questions (hello mindless repetition)
Me: Whoa there, no need to be angry, just think about it
Fella: I don't need to f*cking think (well actually son, you do) Ur gonna f*cking tell me or ill f*cking kill you
Me: (Well thats funny, his vocabulary would make a great Jeopardy Catergory, "Words that start with the letter F") And how do you intend to kill me?
Fella: I'll find you and beat you up
Me: (Reeally, Awesome) Your pretty funny, how do you intend to beat me up
Fella: Well I won't beat u up ill jus attack u and DB
Me: Ok, seeing as that I'm nuetral, Good Luck
Fella: So F*cking tell me already (Uhhh Alex, can I have "Words that start with F" for 400 please?) or Ill f*cking kill you (What do you know, its the daily double!)
Me: Now seriously, its not that hard, think about it, Point of Interest, we know what that is, Exploration, Ooooh I see the problem, exploration is outside of your vocabulary
Fella: **edit**
Me: (Heh he is getting stupider by the minbute, the F-bomb just fell outside his vocabulary) Whats a matter, is F*ck too hard to spell now?
Fella: Welcome to my Ignore list
Me: (Hah saves room on mine) and Welcome to the Chuckle for the SMuggler forum buddy!
