Smuggler Archive

Well folks i'm back to this thread, its been quite a while but now I am a Smuggler and have made it all the way up the Spices Skill Tree as well as 3/4 of the way up the slicing tier. I have two stories for you all tonight, and if you haven't read my previous post, the first story will not make any sense to you, because its the same person (flippant little **edit**), and the second story, well, that is pretty much just a demonstration of what my incredible cruelty and unrelenting boredom will do to a group of adventurers.

Note: stuff in parentheses is my thought process at the time typed out...

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This was about 2 weeks following my first story, and I was on Bestine getting stuff from my harvesters to craft spices...

Bungroy: Hey you there

Me: (Oh good lord, not you again) Yes???

Bungroy: Guess what?

Me: How can you even remember me???

Bungroy: Well I know you sold me that speeder

Me: (Bleh he holds a grudge apparently) Yes yes, what?

Bungroy: Guess what?

Me: You got a life?

Bungroy: No, guess again

Me: Your dog ran away?

Bungroy: No guess again

Me: A Giant comet is headed towards your house, and is about to incinerate you???

Bungroy: No (Damn, and I was hoping) I Got a Speeder for 15k

Me: Congratulations, want a cookie?

Bungroy: Huh?

Me: Nevermind

Bungroy: Anyways you f*c*er I got a speeder for 15k and you said I would never find one for 15k

Me: Good for you, heres your cookie, theres the door

Bungroy: Huh? (God is he intellegent or what)

Me: Goodbye

Bungroy: Yeah you said I'd never find a speeder for 15k and I found one, it may be slower than the one you sold me but it was cheaper alright

Me: Wait a sec, slower you say? (hrmmmm.... this sounds interesting..)

Bungroy: Yeah

Me: What does it look like

Bungroy: Well its kinda like a car

Me: and when you target it, what does it say it is called

Bungroy: uhh an X34 Landspeeder

At this point I was running back into town and saw Bungroy there with his X34 pulled out, standing and looking at it, Note: Two weeks ago, I had sold him a Swoop Bike

Me: *Belts of Master Artisan sales pitch listing prices "X34 for 13k, Speederbike for 20k, Swoop Bike for 25k PST Jaice"

Bungroy: You are so stupid why are you pricing them different, trying to rip people off?

Me: Heres a lesson buddy, X34 is slow, Speederbike is medium, and Swoop is the fastest

Bungroy: No they aren't you are ripping ppl off, they are the same speed

Me: Oh ok lets race

Bungroy: Ok *pull out the swoop bike I had sold him, it had less than 1/20th of health and had flames shooting out* Haha look my bikes got rocket boosters

Me: Oh wait, I gotta go to the cantina to heal my mind wounds before I race

Bungroy: Ok Ill come with

*We sit in the cantina for 30 minutes, while Bungroy's bike was called outside the entire time, finally hearing a loud explosion i decided it was time to race**

I get on my X34 he tries to mount his swoop

Me: 3...2...1...

Bungroy: wait, I can't mount my bike, you sabotaged it, im calling a dev

Me: go ahead buddy, no matter what, I still hate you, and I will always win, always*i proceed to drive to my house where i make spice to lead into my second story.....*

Now for story number 3

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So I'm bored to hell and currently at Fort Tuskan wearing the title of Fence. A slightly ignorant group of

people come up and ask for spice, me, being saturated to the core with evil, say "Sure" and give the

entire group Neutron Pixie. The leader explained that they were all new players and were hunting as a

group to survive in Fort Tuskan, and went on to say how, just yesterday, the group of ten managed to

take down a Tuskan Raider by themselves. Hearing this, I decided to victimize this group of New

players and said, "Well heres the spice, take it right away for maximum effectiveness" After explaining

to them just how to use the spice they all watched in awe as their health and action bars grew huge

and everyone commented on what high quality spice it was. They wanted to pay me 10k, but the price of my entertainment cannot be bought, so i said no, its on the house. I waited the 13 minutes, and

located this group. They were attacking a Tuskan Commoner, when a Warlord had spawned and

started demolishing their group. The survivers (about 7 of the original 10) took flight and just before

they got to the relative safety of the fortress exit, the downer kicked in, Instantly Incapacitating all 7 of

them. The Warlord took his time, walked up and DBed all 7. the just then the other three were running out (apparently the warlord only incapped them) and one by one they too began to feel the downers.

Hell it looked like an old World War 2 movie, they were the soldiers running, and wham an invisible

enemy bullet, one down, two down, oh the third one almost made it, so close so close, but no cigar,

three down, and all DBed.

10 minutes later they were all back sitting outside the entrance, I came near and they were talking amongst themselves about how powerfuol the Tuskan Warlord was, to be able to do a ranged attack

with his Gaffi Stick. Suddenly I get a tell form the group leader: "Hey could we buy some more of the

Pixie stuff???"

LMAO Ommer you're pure evil...but it's so funny

Lol Omner you are de shiznit... Congrats!

I got my roommate hooked on SWG a little while ago and tonight he came to my room and asks me "Is a 200% slice good?" I just looked at him because I didn't know what to say. Then I told him that if a smuggler was gauranteeing 200% slices that he should go elsewhere. Thats when he told me, "Well, I have 2000 credits so I can afford a 200% slice if 100cr./% increase."(His math, not mine.) Thats when I closed the door to my room and left him standing in the hallway. I still don't know if he got a 200% slice or not.

Ommer, that is just..... wow.....

You are evil-awesome, my friend!

Pelligrosa, now a master smuggler!!! .....and I just got an 11% effectiveness slice.... figures....

I was logged on for less than 5 seconds when i got a tell from a guy in theed who wanted some slicing done.

"Hey dude, can you slice some weapons for me? how much does it cost?"

ME "100cr per % slice, free if its below 15%"

GUY "OK thats fine, ill take 2 100% slices"

[i was practically pissing myself with laughter at this point]

ME "max slice is 35% on weapons"

GUY "ok, ill take 2 of them"

[im practically falling off my chair here]

ME "i cant set how much it slices for, its random"

GUY (sounding a little disappointed) "well ok then"

on way to theed, i get another tell

GUY2 "hey, i need you to slice 5 powerhammers for me"

ME "ok"

when i get there:

GUY2 "how much is this gonna cost, cos i only have 5000"

They both sound like newbs don't they? well one the first guy was a BH and a commando, and the other guy was a master heavy swordsman.

I sddenly remembered why i stopped walking around with SLICER above my head...

*Looks at Ommer and does a Sith Lord check*

You are f'ing evil bro