Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
skullcleaver wrote:
I just started slicing II last night and thought it was pretty funny that wood staffs have red and blue wires.
Same with STONE knives.
And... Cops selling drugs, so real, so true. *sigh*
Ever wonder how staffs and armor have wires too?
Saw this on the Ahazi messageboard.
http://www.imagedump.com/index.cgi?pick=get&tp=41429&poll_id=0&warned=y
ROFLMAO!
Pistoleers get an extra % to weapon speed slice and commandos an extra % to armor slices.
man that Mobo is once clueless (censored) but its still pretty funny
I'm looking forward to day when I'll have the fix title... Little scenario:
Dude: Can you fix my weapon?
Me: Sure why not trade it over.
*Trade ensinues*
/Slice
Me: Heres your weapon. I fixed it for (enter percent here) That will be 5k...
Oh, the anticipation....
This was my greatest moment in Galaxies EVER...
I was cruising around on Corellia, getting some easy CH xp by taming random babies and then making them kill their parents, when I happened to fly into a rebel town. I am an Imperial, but I was covert and wasn't worried. So I go to their mission terminal to spawn a few nests and hopefully get some more babies when this dude walks up. (Itook screen shots to help me remember, so this is verbatim)
Dude: r u an imperial?
Me: yep
*Dude pulls out a huurton*
*Dude challenges you to a duel*
Me: No thanks (wasn't in the mood to deal with an idiot)
Dude: whut the fack u hor!
Dude: u **edit**, y wont u duel me?
Dude: u **edit** ho
Dude: ho
Dude: ho
Dude: ho
Me: Santa!
Dude: if u wont duel me get out of my town!
Me: /sit
Me: No thanks, I kind of like it here. I think I'll relax, maybe do some crafting, take it easy...
Dude: whor get out!
Me: ... mess with a rebel who takes himself way too seriously...
Me: well, if this is your town, kick me out!
Dude: HO
Dude: U **edit**
Me: (Starts running slicer spam, just to REALLY piss him off)
Dude: fak u, ho
A this point, he starts to walk away, still calling me all kinds of bazaar names (obviously hadn't found the option to turn off the profanity filter or his mother wouldn't let him,) and I notice that he hasn't closed the /duel option yet. The smuggler scoundrel in me is begging to come out. So I /accept duel, /lowblow him, panic shot, then health shot 2, body shot 2 and boom, he's incapped. He was a Novice Fencer, so he never even got the chance to hit me. Now granted, I did feel like a bit of jerk, hitting him in the back, but idiots who talk smack should really learn to end their duels before turning away, especially when you're fighting a Smuggler (we don't have a Dirty Fighting tree for nothing). I told him this right before I sent him on a quick ride to the cloning center, courtesy of the deathblow express.
God, I love being a Rogue!
Ok, here is mine and it is a fairly simple one.
When I first got Feign Death I rearranged my hotkeys and put Feign Death where my usual combat macro is. Later that night myself and friend who has not been playing that long head to one of the tougher worlds to hunt (I don't remember which) I figured that even though this planet was to hard for him I would protect him like I had before and he would bet good xp.
Well, 3 different times I accidentally hit my feign death button instead of my combat macro one and watched him completly freak out and start running away so he would not die. I felt kind of bad but laughed hystericly each time.
After that I did it intentionally when I was withanother friend who did not know I had recently gotten Smuggler. Hysterical to watch how they reacted when I dropped only seconds into a tough fight that they thought that they would have to now go alone.
Howdy all! First time poster, long time player! Anyhoo, here's my unusual tale, though it didn't quite involve Smuggling per se . . .
So, I was sitting in my medium tatooine house migrating my stats when I get a tell from right outside . . .
Dude: HEY MAN! DO YOU HAVE ANY VENDORS???? I NEED SOME ARMOR!!!!!
(not wanting to respond since he could just as easily see from my sign that this was just a house and not a shop. also, my home was not in any town and so why would I have vendors in an unmarked solitary location?)
Dude: HEY MAN! DO YOU HAVE ANY VENDORS OR NOT!!!
(now i'm curious as to why he would be so insistent about this, and why he doesn't just walk on in, it being public and all)
Dude: C'MON MAN! DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING! DO YOU OR NOT?
(still waiting to see how this plays out, hoping he'll just think i'm afk and will leave)
Dude: MAN! (by now, i'm getting sick of being called "MAN") OPEN THE **edit** UP AND LET ME USE YOUR VENDORS!!!
(okay, so what's this about being locked out? did I miss something here? also, he's apparently now convinced that I have vendors)
Dude: OPEN UP AND LET ME IN!!! DROP YOUR STUPID FORCE FIELD!!!
(force field? what the hell . . . ?)
Dude: DON'T BE SUCH A **edit**, MAN!!! I CAN REPORT YOU!!! NOW OPEN UP!!!!!!
(okay, so now i'm going to be in trouble for migrating my stats and somehow keeping him out? by this time i had to get up and see what was going on. lo and behold, he was sitting ona speeder and driving in vain in front of my door)
Me: Umm, is there a problem?
Dude: YEAH, YOU STUPID NEWB! LET ME IN TO USE YOUR VENDORS!!!
Me: (playing along) Why should I? It's my home, after all.
Dude: **edit** YOU, MAN!!! YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP ME OUT!!!!!! EVERYBODY CAN GO INTO ANYONE'S HOUSE!!!! IT'S IN THE RULES!!!!
Me: (by now, I was laughing internally, though very annoyed at the constant use of Caps Lock) And just who told you this?
Dude: MY BUDDY WHO CAN KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: (man, I'd better educate him. . . . naw, this is too much fun) Tell you what. I'll go inside and turn off my force field so you can look around, but only if you promise to leave and never come back. Okay?
Dude: WHATEVER YOU **edit**ING NEWB!!!!! JUST LET ME IN OR I'LL REPORT YOU MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Also, I'll only drop the force field if you promise to stop using caps right now!
Dude: **edit** YOU AND LET ME IN!!!!!!! YOU'LL BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Do you want to use my vendors or not?
Dude: Fine you stupid **edit**. now let me in.
Me: That's more like it! Now just wait here for a second. (i went back inside, and waited about a minute before telling him to step off of his speeder and come on in. yes, he had really been sitting in the speeder the whole time! he steps inside)
Dude: Better man. now where are the **edit**ing vendors?
Me: Well, if you can find them in time, you can have whatever you want for free. However, I'm going to reactivate the force field in just 30 seconds, which means it'll trap you in here until I say so, which will be a long time from now! So you'd better hurry!
Me: The timer has started! (yes, I was really timing it)
(he begins running frantically through every room I have, looking for my non existent vendors)
Me: 10 seconds.
Dude: **edit** YOU MAN!!!!! I'LL JUST TAKE YOUR WEAPONS, NEWB!!! (surprisingly fast little typist, Isuppose. plus, he seemed to have already forgotten his promise about the Caps Lock)
(he stood for several seconds in front of my weapons display set on the wall, obviously trying to take them)
Dude: **edit**!!!!!
Me: 5 seconds
(he ran outside, hopped on his speeder and drove off. I sent him a tell after a few minutes saying the vendors were in the basement, just to piss him off)
Dude: **edit** YOU MAN!!!!! (oh yeah, getting mighty sick of that line . . .) *insert stream of random insults of every variety, plus confusing threats about reporting my abuse of vendors and such*
Me: Thank you for playing! By the way, you are now being added to my ignore list, and if you persist in appearing at my home just to annoy me, then I will have no choice but to report you. Have a nice day!
Yes, that was the strangest day of my life in Galaxies, but at least I recieved some closure the next day when I recieved a tell from his buddy, who apologized greatly for his moronic friend's actions when Dude told him what happened. Apparently Dude had just started playing that day and his friend, who gave him the speeder and some cash, told him to get some good armor and gave him some coordinates for an artisan friend. The problem was that Dude didn't notice the little negative bar for the y axis and went to a different location, which wasn't too far from my isolated little home. He obviously didn't know about the "no vehicles in buildings rule" and freaked out when he thought I was specifically blocking him out (apparently the artisan was /told ahead) just to be mean. Everything else that followed was simply his incredible newbness and lack of kindness or patience.
What truly astounded me was not so much his lack of experience, but his incredible confidence that he knew the game inside out after just several hours of playing to be able to call me a newb (artisan friend or not) and that the rules somehow demanded that I let him into my home to sell him armor. Also, his attitude when he was just starting out in this game was so horrific that I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I seriously hope he was severly reprimanded by his much nicer and polite friend. Still, the sheer absurdity of this encounter simply demanded that it be posted here. Thanks for reading all of this.
P.S. Also, his spelling was much worse than portrayed here. I simply cleaned it up since it pains me to type anything incorrectly on purpose.