Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
DaQueen
Wed Nov 10, 2004 5:39 am
#1353
For the love of the server gods! BUMPEH!!! are you mad!? letting this thread sink into PAGE 3??? the slices are going to be poo for eons oO
Evil imperial Pilot
Sowsky
Wed Nov 10, 2004 8:23 am
#1354
DaQueen this thread is stick on top of the first papge 
And yes this is probably the best bee... (Sry just a lapsus) I mean the best thereead ever.
Styphon
JTGAlpha
Sat Nov 13, 2004 6:10 pm
#1356
But, DaQueen, we DO appreciate the thought and effort...wasted as it is.
Nicolas_Frost
Sun Nov 14, 2004 3:44 am
#1357
I didn't think about posting this, so its not gonna be exact, it was a little while back. In fact, the speech of the guy(who will be named "Blah" 'cause I can't remember his name) will be translated into something easily recognizable.
Blahtells you: "I need my armor sliced."
You reply to Blah: "I'm kinda busy at the moment, runninga mission."
Blah tells you: "I need it sliced now."
You reply to Blah: "Well, I'm kinda busy at the moment, running mission on Dantooine."
Blah tells you: "Come to Coronet."
You reply to Blah: "I'm in the middle of a mission, if you want it sliced, you'll need to come to me and get it done."
Blah tells you: "I'll give you 10k."
You reply to Blah: "You only want one piece sliced? 'Cause my rate is five grand per item and that would only cover my trip back and forth, and one item."
*thirty to fourty seconds pass*
Blah tells you: "THAT'S 45K!!!!"
You reply to Blah: "Yeah, that's what you get when you mulitply 5000 by 9."
Blah tells you: "I'll give you 30k to come here and slice it."
You reply to Blah: "No."
Blah tells you: "Okay, 25k and I come to you."
*I think for a moment, not seriously considering his offer, but going over other options*
You reply to Blah: "I'm going to mail you a waypoint, go there."
Blah tells you: "Okay."
*A few minutes later*(I'm guessing time to shuttle and a little bit of fighting)
YOU RECIEVE X CREDITS!
Blah tells you: "Dude, where are you? You have to slice this."
You reply to Blah: "Running my other mission, oh, and thanks for taking out that mission for me. Oh, and I never said I was going to slice for you, I simply said to go somewhere. You took it on your own to destroy a named lair. I hope you needed the experience points, cause you sure didn't get the reward.Have a good day."
Blah tells you: "[String of Expletives]"
imodi
Tue Nov 16, 2004 3:54 am
#1359
OK not sure how amusnig ppl will find this, but it put a smile on my face once i had calmed down 
I had an irritation a week or so ago. At work i had planned (limited time on SWG that night due to RL) to jump on get a buff, grab my armour and just grind Huurton stalkers, i worked out that with the one buff i couldfinish what i wanteed to do in pistoleer before ifinished smuggler (0/0/4/4 pistoleer). made a quick macro to spam healthshot2, and set off, targeted the huurtons, fired up macro and went about with what i had to do,lifting my headback every couple of minutes to change target. (just before killed current target) i managed to keep to my schedule for the 3 hour buff, and was hitting my last lair before it ran out. happy that i was about to achieve what i wanted.
so started work on the 1st set of huurtons, (pistoleer is slow work, and i can do limited damgage), then i hear the familiar sound of a tka battering something. i look up to see a novice spamming UH2 at my targets, now this used to happen alot months back, so i took the usual route of kindly asking them to go away, it was my mission and i needed every drop of xp.
all i get back is abuse, then i calmly explain (figured it was a noob kid at this point) why i need the xp, and that its classed as griefing to "steal" missions and the xp they provide.... more abuse..... so i switch to my my lovely T21 (i was master rifle / TKM at teh time), and SS2 everything, few second later the 1st group of huurtons are all dead. offer to duel, "i'll duel when i finish my character" so I ask one last time to please leave (thinking if i finish lair and then hit the odd beast on my way to the trainer i should still do it before my buff runs out) he starts hitting the lair. i get slightly annoyed at this point, so grab my VK's and UH3 everything in sight, guess what.....more abuse......
Well somewhat annoyed by this time, and in full knowledge that i still had to get50k xp and not enough buff to finish (was due to log out after buff) i offer another duel.....more abuse...... i should really have held my tongue, but well i have a temper sometimes, so used all manner of things in retaliation, after a minute or twohe asked me to help him with a mission he had that he couldn't do (stragest thing i have ever seen on swg).......
hhhhmmmmmm, ok why not........
start mission.......
ok only 1 minute on buff left........
hit lair with UH3 a few times, spawn all voritor hunters.......
use only smuggler skill i had........
/feigndeath
imodi
sry for length, my typing sometimes runs away from me but i had to set the setting.
but i had to set the setting.
Satek_Bane
Tue Nov 16, 2004 7:32 am
#1361
Dude totally nice, that’s exactly what I would have done. I would so pay to see what his face looked like when u did that. I hate asses like that.
DrevenStrobe
Tue Nov 16, 2004 2:02 pm
#1362
imodi wrote:
OK not sure how amusnig ppl will find this, but it put a smile on my face once i had calmed down
I had an irritation a week or so ago. At work i had planned (limited time on SWG that night due to RL) to jump on get a buff, grab my armour and just grind Huurton stalkers, i worked out that with the one buff i could finish what i wanteed to do in pistoleer before i finished smuggler (0/0/4/4 pistoleer). made a quick macro to spam healthshot2, and set off, targeted the huurtons, fired up macro and went about with what i had to do, lifting my head back every couple of minutes to change target. (just before killed current target) i managed to keep to my schedule for the 3 hour buff, and was hitting my last lair before it ran out. happy that i was about to achieve what i wanted.
so started work on the 1st set of huurtons, (pistoleer is slow work, and i can do limited damgage), then i hear the familiar sound of a tka battering something. i look up to see a novice spamming UH2 at my targets, now this used to happen alot months back, so i took the usual route of kindly asking them to go away, it was my mission and i needed every drop of xp.
all i get back is abuse, then i calmly explain (figured it was a noob kid at this point) why i need the xp, and that its classed as griefing to "steal" missions and the xp they provide.... more abuse..... so i switch to my my lovely T21 (i was master rifle / TKM at teh time), and SS2 everything, few second later the 1st group of huurtons are all dead. offer to duel, "i'll duel when i finish my character" so I ask one last time to please leave (thinking if i finish lair and then hit the odd beast on my way to the trainer i should still do it before my buff runs out) he starts hitting the lair. i get slightly annoyed at this point, so grab my VK's and UH3 everything in sight, guess what.....more abuse......
Well somewhat annoyed by this time, and in full knowledge that i still had to get 50k xp and not enough buff to finish (was due to log out after buff) i offer another duel.....more abuse...... i should really have held my tongue, but well i have a temper sometimes, so used all manner of things in retaliation, after a minute or two he asked me to help him with a mission he had that he couldn't do (stragest thing i have ever seen on swg).......
hhhhmmmmmm, ok why not........
start mission.......
ok only 1 minute on buff left........
hit lair with UH3 a few times, spawn all voritor hunters.......
use only smuggler skill i had........
/feigndeath
imodi
sry for length, my typing sometimes runs away from me
That's nice...I really hope he died a horrible death. I encountered similar people when I was grinding out TK on Dath...they'd just walk up and start killing my Baz Nitches. If I said something to them about taking my mission, they'd give me some "I have to do it for padawan trials." BS.
Ah well...the only problem with what you did, is if they all killed him, you're in quite a pinch when you stand up. Being unbuffed against a full lair of Voritors would be a tall order...even for a TK / Rifle...doable...but still tricky...
Durinthiam
Tue Nov 16, 2004 5:57 pm
#1363
Old post..new smuggler 
Me: (the typical - im not paying 6k for a locked container mos eisley spam) "Ever wondered what was in the containers you looted? Send me a tell and ill open them up for you!"
Dude(tell): Can you open my containers?
Me: Sure come to the starport
Dude: BRT!
Me: /kowtow
Dude wants to trade with you
Me: I warn you, sometimes they lock forever, slicing isn't 100% set for unlocking
Dude smiles
(I slice, two fail, one opens with some clothes and an axe inside, trade back)
me: 2 failed, only one opened
Dude: -insert words here- sake man i asked you to unlock 3 not one...and why has this go clothes in? I got told you get crystals, leet weaps and sh!t
Me: I sliced all three, two didnt open (it happens, as I said when you gave them over) and, damn you'd be lucky to get them, its mainly clothes or noob weapons, sometimes some "broken" stuff (which will e good when loot revamp comes along)
Dude: LIAR! Give me what was in there and open the others
Me: You have what was in there, and the others are now useless, only good for decoration
Dude: You ^()*£%& Noob! Open them!
/kowtow
/addignore
Me: (the typical - im not paying 6k for a locked container mos eisley spam) "Ever wondered what was in the containers you looted? Send me a tell and ill open them up for you!"
Dude(tell): Can you open my containers?
Me: Sure come to the starport
Dude: BRT!
Me: /kowtow
Dude wants to trade with you
Me: I warn you, sometimes they lock forever, slicing isn't 100% set for unlocking
Dude smiles
(I slice, two fail, one opens with some clothes and an axe inside, trade back)
me: 2 failed, only one opened
Dude: -insert words here- sake man i asked you to unlock 3 not one...and why has this go clothes in? I got told you get crystals, leet weaps and sh!t
Me: I sliced all three, two didnt open (it happens, as I said when you gave them over) and, damn you'd be lucky to get them, its mainly clothes or noob weapons, sometimes some "broken" stuff (which will e good when loot revamp comes along)
Dude: LIAR! Give me what was in there and open the others
Me: You have what was in there, and the others are now useless, only good for decoration
Dude: You ^()*£%& Noob! Open them!
/kowtow
/addignore
Spec-Ops
Wed Nov 17, 2004 1:43 am
#1364
imodi wrote:OK not sure how amusnig ppl will find this, but it put a smile on my face once i had calmed downI had an irritation a week or so ago. At work i had planned (limited time on SWG that night due to RL) to jump on get a buff, grab my armour and just grind Huurton stalkers, i worked out that with the one buff i could finish what i wanteed to do in pistoleer before i finished smuggler (0/0/4/4 pistoleer). made a quick macro to spam healthshot2, and set off, targeted the huurtons, fired up macro and went about with what i had to do, lifting my head back every couple of minutes to change target. (just before killed current target) i managed to keep to my schedule for the 3 hour buff, and was hitting my last lair before it ran out. happy that i was about to achieve what i wanted.so started work on the 1st set of huurtons, (pistoleer is slow work, and i can do limited damgage), then i hear the familiar sound of a tka battering something. i look up to see a novice spamming UH2 at my targets, now this used to happen alot months back, so i took the usual route of kindly asking them to go away, it was my mission and i needed every drop of xp.all i get back is abuse, then i calmly explain (figured it was a noob kid at this point) why i need the xp, and that its classed as griefing to "steal" missions and the xp they provide.... more abuse..... so i switch to my my lovely T21 (i was master rifle / TKM at teh time), and SS2 everything, few second later the 1st group of huurtons are all dead. offer to duel, "i'll duel when i finish my character" so I ask one last time to please leave (thinking if i finish lair and then hit the odd beast on my way to the trainer i should still do it before my buff runs out) he starts hitting the lair. i get slightly annoyed at this point, so grab my VK's and UH3 everything in sight, guess what.....more abuse......Well somewhat annoyed by this time, and in full knowledge that i still had to get 50k xp and not enough buff to finish (was due to log out after buff) i offer another duel.....more abuse...... i should really have held my tongue, but well i have a temper sometimes, so used all manner of things in retaliation, after a minute or two he asked me to help him with a mission he had that he couldn't do (stragest thing i have ever seen on swg).......hhhhmmmmmm, ok why not........start mission.......ok only 1 minute on buff left........hit lair with UH3 a few times, spawn all voritor hunters.......use only smuggler skill i had......../feigndeathimodisry for length, my typing sometimes runs away from me
nice haha, steals your lair then asks for help
tiberius4327
Thu Nov 18, 2004 7:54 am
#1365
I've only been a smuggler for two days, but I've already got a funny story. I guess stupid people are higher in number than a thought
Guy/ I heard smugglers can open containers
me/ yes we can
Guy/ cool. I've got 5
me/ ok, Just so you know it's 50/50 if they will open. If you still want me to try to open them I will, I'll let you choose which wire to cut, but if it's wrong they can never be opened
/Guy ok, what do I have to do?
So I explain how slicing containers works, I slice the containers, 3 open. One didn't have anything in it, the other 2 did, but I don't bother checking what it is. I give him the containers.
Guy/ what the ?!£? is this? You've only opened 3 of them!
me/ I did tell you it was 50/50, I even let you choose the wire to cut.
Guy/ ok, can you open the other 2 then?
me/ no, like I said if you cut the wrong wire the container can never be opened.
Guy/ You never !?£$?%! told me that!
I check the first part of the conversation and clearly I did
me/ yes I did, check your spatial chat.
A few moments pass.
Guy/ What the !?£! one of the containers is !?"£!?£ empty and the others are !?£"
me/ Sometimes they are empty and they often containvery poor items.
By this time a few people have stopped to see what is happening and I can see a few of them using LOL and ROFL.
Guy/ I'm !?£!!£? reporting you!
me/ Pleasure doing business with you. The next time you need something slicing I hope you will come to me. Good day Sir.
I love being a smuggler, it's so much fun