Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
Master_Artisan
Sat Oct 23, 2004 2:05 pm
#1314
Okay, first off, I've had the name "master_artisan" since 5 days after purchasing the game, so.... ignore it.... Any ways, I've finnaly read through the whole thread and thought I'd add my own slightly amusing story to it. (Note I've had slicing 4 fora few days now and charge for slicing containers but usually just recommend a novice). It happened in Theed last night.
me: Slicing weapons and armor for 3.5k a peice, containers for 2k
guy (sends a tell): hey, can you slice some containers?
me (in reply): sure, it's 2k a peice
guy (rest was in spartial): 2k!?! teh last smug (smug?) who sliced4 me payed me 4k for each! (yes, that's what he said verbetim)
me: yes, maybe people who need xp do, but I don't need slicing xp anymore (points up at slicer title)
me: I suggest finding a novice who will do it for free
guy: *#@& u dude! ur supposed topaymefor it! and novices always @^#! it up!
me: that's not entirely true, it's a 50-50 chance. But if theyuseclamps they shouldn't fail. now, again, I'd suggest finding a novice.
guy: no! u do mine and pay me 4k for them @%$#ing cheap #$@!
me (now I'm starting to get annoyed): Look, I charge 2k because, A) i don't need xp anymore and B) it costs Smugglers money. Now, you can pay 2k a slice for me OR ,as i suggested, you can find a novice.
guy: u^$*#ing liar! slicing is a skill and desnt (desnt?)require money!
me: slicing itself does NOT, but the tools use DO. Now for the last time, you can pay me 2k a slice or find a novice who will do it for free or pay you for them.
guy:fine you stupid noob, I'll just find a novice!
(guy runs off)
me: thank you for your time and effort, you have officially made yourself look like a complete moron in front of a large croud of strangers! Congrats!
/pillow
Not that funny, but i got a bit of a laugh when he sentme a tell 10 minutes latersaying: theres no novices, i have 4 containers, so would that be 8k?
Ekacfeeb
Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:37 am
#1315
Okies, I'm standing in Corolag wiv the slicer sign above my head.
Some guy: Can u slice 2 NS Staffs for me?
Me: Sure np
guy gives me his 2 staffs, and nice staffs they are.
Some guy: Can u choose to slice it for Speed or Damage or is it totally random?
Me: It's totally random
So i slice his weapons and get 1 Speed Slice and 1 Damage slice.
Me: U got 1 speed and 1 damage.
Some guy: Cool, and on the other one?
Me: Rofl.
Eulbobo
Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:50 am
#1316
Some guy: Cool, and on the other one?
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !
Excellent !
Message Edited by Eulbobo on 10-25-2004 05:50 AM
VanBoaru
Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:35 pm
#1317
Khayden wrote:
Yesterday a guys messages me:
guy:"Hey I want my weapon sliced"
me:"Excellent, I can help you out there"
guy:" I want a good slice!"
me: "I want to give you a good slice, however you have to remember, it's random and I have little control over how it will turn out."
guy:"I want 30% Damage"
me:"Like I said it's random, and I can't choose damage over speed, that is random as well."
guy:"Master Smuggler can."
me:"No, a Master Smuggler will have a chance to get you a higher slice than I can,but he also has a chance to go lower than me."
guy:"Okay, do it for Damage"
me;"Sigh, I can't slice it for damage, it might be speed, as I said before it's random. I can sell you some PowerUps that will increase your Damage by 33% for 100 uses."
guy:" yah yah! Thats good, how long do they last?"
me:"Um, 100 uses."
guy:"Okay slice my weapon and give me 2 PowerUps."
me:"27% speed increase"(ofcourse..it was fate!)
guy:"Awww..I told you damage!, It was already fast!"
me:"Yeah, I got the hint, sorry, told you it was random, here's your weapon"
guy"**edit**! You made it slower!!!"
me:"How so?"
guy:"It used to be 3.8 speed, now it's 2.3"
me:"yeah, umm...would you rather the rifle fire once every 3.8 seconds or once every 2.3 seconds?"
guy"Oh...right, can you slice it for 30% Damage now?"
me: /ignore guy
Noobs, i love them so much.
Terag
Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:47 pm
#1318
I'd just like to start with, I love smuggler, I love this thread.
I love it enough that when a friend suggested starting another toon on infinity server, well just has to have smuggler (Master Smuggler on Radiant). Any help on that server would be great, I forgot how hard it is to start with nothing.
This story took place on radiant, in Coronet.
Me : Psst need that weapon, armour, sandwich sliced. I might know someone who will do it for 6k (sorry to the other smuggler from whom I stole part of that).
Random Person: Any one slicing.
Me: Psst need that weapon, armour, sandwich sliced. I might know someone who will do it for 6k.
Random Person: Willing to pay 100k per slice (guess that don't read spatial).
Send tell Your kidding right.
Random Person: No, I'm paying 100k per slice.
M: Sure I'll do it.
Hands over good but not great weapon 2 in total. Not great slices and hands over 200k. Felt bad but if people want to give me money..... I'm a smuggler (if sent tell asking for price I would have done it for 12k. Psst don't tell random person).
LaughingWolf
Mon Oct 25, 2004 9:58 pm
#1319
DrevenStrobe wrote:Forgot to mention this one...A few weeks ago, I had a buddy get in the game for the first time. Another friend supplied him with weapons, creds, swoop, and armor...and that's where it gets funny...One night on Dant, it occurs to me that he probably needs his armor sliced. It didn't occur to me to ask him if it was already sliced though. So, while another friend is buffing him, he strips and hands over his set of nice blue armor. After I get it, I check it and realize it's already sliced (*sigh*). So, since I can't slice it, I decide to have a little fun with my friend.So, when his armor is returned to him, it has inexplicably turned PINK. I just tell him that's what he gets with sliced armor.It's now TWO WEEKS later...and his armor is STILL pink! I haven't had the heart to tell him yet that he can change the color back to whatever he wants...
rflmao! You are sooo mean...
Be ready for the vengeance bound to follow when he DO realise what happened..... If the guy have a good imagination at all, could be an interesting new post on the "A chuckle for the smuggler" thread...
Verhalnez
Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:42 pm
#1320
said it before and I'll say it again
I love this thread!
keep the laughs comming!!
Thanks!!
rogue_eight
Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:32 am
#1321
Master_Artisan wrote:Okay, first off, I've had the name "master_artisan" since 5 days after purchasing the game, so.... ignore it.... Any ways, I've finnaly read through the whole thread and thought I'd add my own slightly amusing story to it. (Note I've had slicing 4 fora few days now and charge for slicing containers but usually just recommend a novice). It happened in Theed last night.me: Slicing weapons and armor for 3.5k a peice, containers for 2kguy (sends a tell): hey, can you slice some containers?me (in reply): sure, it's 2k a peiceguy (rest was in spartial): 2k!?! teh last smug (smug?) who sliced4 me payed me 4k for each! (yes, that's what he said verbetim)me: yes, maybe people who need xp do, but I don't need slicing xp anymore (points up at slicer title)me: I suggest finding a novice who will do it for freeguy: *#@& u dude! ur supposed topaymefor it! and novices always @^#! it up!me: that's not entirely true, it's a 50-50 chance. But if theyuseclamps they shouldn't fail. now, again, I'd suggest finding a novice.guy: no! u do mine and pay me 4k for them @%$#ing cheap #$@!me (now I'm starting to get annoyed): Look, I charge 2k because, A) i don't need xp anymore and B) it costs Smugglers money. Now, you can pay 2k a slice for me OR ,as i suggested, you can find a novice.guy: u^$*#ing liar! slicing is a skill and desnt (desnt?)require money!me: slicing itself does NOT, but the tools use DO. Now for the last time, you can pay me 2k a slice or find a novice who will do it for free or pay you for them.guy:fine you stupid noob, I'll just find a novice!(guy runs off)me: thank you for your time and effort, you have officially made yourself look like a complete moron in front of a large croud of strangers! Congrats!/pillowNot that funny, but i got a bit of a laugh when he sentme a tell 10 minutes latersaying: theres no novices, i have 4 containers, so would that be 8k?
I think my reply would have been somewhere along the lines of:
"Well it would have been 8K, but you forgot the idiot tax. It's 80K. Have a nice day."
Blackjack2060
Tue Oct 26, 2004 10:43 pm
#1322
Not really a story, but how many of you guys get people who want weapons sliced and hand you a sliced weapon.........................
moley
Wed Oct 27, 2004 3:01 am
#1323
WaerbGloofin wrote:
Had a great weekend with the spice shops. For some reason I'm selling spice faster than I can make it. So I'm thinking, "Hey bud, your pretty weak with the PvP stuff." We have no uber moves so I'm figure I need better protection. So I go off and do some shopping for composite armor.
Shopping for composite is not something done lightly, you have to have a plan. First you have to find someone that sells composite. On three different planets I travelled and found many an armor shop with empty vendors or with composite with 22% resists. This will not do!
Finally after spending the whole day shopping I find a shop selling composite with 49% resists. Wow, some great stuff. After getting breast plate, leggings, boots, helm and gloves, I'm practically broke. Sheesh, expensive stuff! Time to log off.
Log in next day still in armorer's shop. Take a look at inventory. Woohoo! Sold 100K of spice last night! Let's buy some more composite! Uh oh, this vendor is empty. Time to shop some more. After hours of looking and asking around, find shop that has 43% resist armor. Buy right and left bracers and right and left biceps. All right! Got a full set.
Woah! With this encumberance there is no way I can wear this. Time to pull out the slicing tools.
You increase the base effectiveness of chest plate by 26%!
You increase the base effectiveness of leggings by 17%
You increase the base effectiveness of boots by 23%
You increase the base effectiveness of helm by 28%
You decrease the encumberance of gloves by 32%
You increase the base effectiveness of right bracer by 28%
You increase the base effectiveness of left bracer by 28%
You increase the base effectiveness of right bicep by 22%
You decrease the encumberance of left bicep by 16%
Sheesh, what crappy slices. Time to try this stuff on. Put on breast plate, leggings, boots, helm,and try gloves and get:
"You are not healthy enough to wear this armor."
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
You consume muon gold (hehehe)
Gloves are on! Let's try a bracer.
"You are not healthy enough to wear this armor."
AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Wait for muon downer.
You consume neutron pixie (more than one way to kill a cat).
"You are not healthy enough to wear this armor."
/cry
Gotta love when the lowest encumbrance peices get encumbrance slices. I've gotten a few 41% enc slices on gloves and bracers.
BaronJuJu
Wed Oct 27, 2004 12:22 pm
#1324
I have a had a fewpeople but they were 9 times out of 10 new folks...s O i just hand it back and tell them what to look for to see if its sliced.
Bloodreaver1406
Thu Oct 28, 2004 5:16 am
#1325
I had a Story simar to this.....:
i was looking round my citys house par usual looking ofr intresting things checking out new ways to decor my hosue that sorta thing when i came across some1 who had 46 LOCKED CONTAINERS!!!! i was extatic and couldnt understand y i didnt find this b4 anyway i contacted the owner of this house and we agreed i'd slice them adn she has anything decent in them(there usually inst but recently ive had a couble of armour/clothing attachments) anyway i sliced all 16 of them with my 3 crates of clamps i had bought earlier that day stopping every now and then to craft some laser knifes. It was only at the end when i looked at my skill chart that i realised i had capped after the 3rd contianer i was DEVISTATED and have since vowed to check my skill chart after every slice
Never shall i loose xp agen MWA HA HA HA HAAAAA.
new idea for smuggler update u can use laser knifes in combat
LaughingWolf
Thu Oct 28, 2004 7:20 am
#1326
Oooh no! You must have been swearing when you noticed that. lol