Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
ikolian
Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:18 pm
#1288
First of all- let me say I love the triple master.
Here's a little play by play of an event that occured a few minutes ago on valcyn.
I'm hanging out at the imp outpost, hoping to find a few overts to fight. A rifleman is with me. I incap one guy, but don't DB when I see he's unbuffed. Duel a few people who were covert- no DB of course- and eventually a couple overts shuttle in and the fight is on.
At first it look pretty good- 456 dmg geno firing LD at the speed cap was tearing though thier armor.
Then, BAM, KD/dizzy. No worries, I manage to stand up, but my mind's starting to take a beating.
Muon time. And a canape for good measure.
Second KD.
This isn't good.
Mind plummets as someone with a heavy mind hit targets me.
Incapped.
/FOW
LD spam.
No use, cannot get them before they take my mind past halfway again.
So I do what any smuggler in my situation would do.
/burstrun
/armor off
/feign death
I hit the dirt- and get hit with CM poisons.
whew just in time
I settle in to wait, knowing most likely they will get bored and find something else to do.
After perhaps 15 minutes, the TKM leaves and the CM sits there with 2 overts and proceeds to black bar my mind.
I notice the CM's buffs fall off.
I look at the other two overts.
Unbuffed.
This is too good to be true.
I take stock- no FOW left, mind disease, mind poison, on fire, and under attack. Ok, I've been in worse.
/afk tag up. Maybe I can make them give up.
CM drops a final poison/disease and leaves.
Poison abates. I start timing the tick on the disease with respect to how fast my mind bar regenerates.
I like the odds.
Mind is almost healed, ready on the stand and brandy/pixie hotkeys.
Doctor shows up, offers to sell buffs.
Oh crap.
Well, now or never
/stand
/brandy
/pixie
/target unbuffed imp 1
/last ditch
/last ditch
/last ditch
/deathblow
/target unbuffed imp 2
/last ditch
/last ditch
/last ditch
/deathblow
/burstrun
And, in the best smuggler fashion, I got away. Twenty minutes of meditate and entertainers, and I'm back to normal. With a couple extra FP to my name. 
BakureZoxxx
Thu Oct 14, 2004 4:27 pm
#1289
i LOVE these forums....
i have read all 56 pages, it took me several days, but i got it done. unfortunatly/fortunatly while i still had smuggler i never got any stupi-...uninformed customers. These forums alerted me to the idioti-...unintelli-...not...smart things people do.i gave up smuggler for architect and merchant and weaponsmith but as soon as hell freezes over and the smuggler revamp comes, ill be mastering smuggler as fast as i can because smuggler is AWESOME but seriously lacking.
sorry to bother you people keep the stories comin'!!!!!
i have read all 56 pages, it took me several days, but i got it done. unfortunatly/fortunatly while i still had smuggler i never got any stupi-...uninformed customers. These forums alerted me to the idioti-...unintelli-...not...smart things people do.i gave up smuggler for architect and merchant and weaponsmith but as soon as hell freezes over and the smuggler revamp comes, ill be mastering smuggler as fast as i can because smuggler is AWESOME but seriously lacking.
sorry to bother you people keep the stories comin'!!!!!
BigMurph
Thu Oct 14, 2004 6:02 pm
#1290
Ok here is a little story just to keep this thread alive.
My alt is a smuggler, 4-4-3-4, and I do alot of slicing for my guild. so I stroll into our cantina one day and one of my guildies asks me to slice her new suit of armor. Here's how it played out.
her- can you slice my armor?
me- sure thing, hand it over
her- thanks
hands over 5 pieces (two helms)
me- 29% enc on the chest
her-
me- 27% enc on the boots (anybody home in there?)
her-
me- 29% enc on the 1st helm (guess she's not impressed)
now I'm thinking to my self that this has to be my lucky day, allkillerslices, I always get 11% eff on 80% of my armor
her- I have no Idea what your talking about with the percents and encumberances and stuff.
she has been in the game for quite some time and has had lots of stuff sliced, so I think she must be joking
me- your kidding right?
her- no, I never understood what any of that meant when the other smugglers told me
me- and you never asked them?
her- no, I didn't want to seem like a n00b
so I go ahead and explain how it all works to her and she finally understands
her- so those are like good slices right?
me- yes they're very good slices for me (to myself- holy crapballs these are awesome slices)
her- woot, woot, alright keep going
me- 18% eff on the gloves
her- OOOHHHHH POOOOP
me- shhhhh, the slicing gods are listening!
her- sorry
her charcter zips her lips
me- 28% on the 2nd helm
her- your my hero
pretty exciting, kinda frustrating, and really gratifying.(especially when her very sexytoon starting licking me)
BigMurph
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
DarthDumbledore
Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:46 am
#1291
Dudemanmcgee wrote:
So this chick sends me a tell wanting her helmet sliced. So she meets up with me and trades me her helmet.
chick- how much for a slice btw?
me- 6k (i usually slice according to the % i get 5k being the lowest and charge what i want but when somone asks what i charge i usually just say 6k so i dont lose the buisness)
chick- 6k? whatever happened to 3-5k for a slice?
me- well slicings become a bit of a hassel lately so the prices have gone up
chick- well i know what you guys have to do its not like you have to do much
me- yeah but we enhance your weapon/armor permenantly, docs charge 15k for a temperary boost PLUS a 60k VIP line cut
chick- yeah but docs have to buy expensive tools
me- ya know your the only person to ever complain about the price for slicing
me- well 18%eff slice
chick- 6k for a crappy slice?
me- theres no such thing as a crappy slice
chick- yeah there is and you just gave me one, how about you knock off 1k for the low slice?
(usually im reasonable but this chick has been annoying since the get go so im not ganna let her win)
me- we already agreed on 6k so come on
chick- you gave me a 18%eff slice, now i have to live with a crappy helmet til l get enough money to buy a new one.
me- ya know i rarely get as low as a 18% slice, i think its karma for your nagging
chick- i think its karma for your greed
me- heyi make 6k no matter the % of the slice so it doesent hurt me
forthe next10 minutes she tries to bicker me down to 5k for the slice and she finally just gave me the 6k. 6k is really chump change t be arguing over, i dont get why people complain about the prices for slicing.
Considering how much slicers help all combat proffesions you really deserve a whole lot more per slice just to make it worthwhile. Honestly I salute the smugglers who have stuck with their proffesion, I know it doesn't cost you anything for the tools and stuff but just to stop what your doing to slice a weapon for someone else has to be worth it.
tomn
Fri Oct 15, 2004 2:15 am
#1292
So, oddly enough this is my first time on the smuggler boards, partly because i'm finally master smuggler. I'm reading this thread while my happily buffed little smuggler shoots squills, and a hear the little /tell beep. it goes something like this.
guy: hey can you slice a container?
me: i sure can, but you're better off taking it to a novice smuggler, since they need the xp more than I do.
guy: yeah, i can't find any smugglers. can you slice it? (at this point i examine him and notice h has mastered 0 professions and has 0 badges)
me: listen, i know these containers seem cool, but there's a 99% chance you're going to get junk in there, so you may as well wait to get it sliced.
guy: ok. can i help you kill these squills?
me: no thank you.
guy: ok. (goes off on his own for a while)
(20 minutes pass, while he askes me questions about pistoleer and TK and other nonsense, to which i answer as best i can)
guy: can you slice my container now?
me: ok, sure thing. (initiates trade... realizes it's in his droid at the cave entance, and goes to get his fabled conatainer)
guy: i got it!
We trade and I slice it for free, but as he gives it to me he says "Don't steal now!"
me: are you kidding me? (I slice the container and hand him his prize, a wonderous broken datapad)
this is really only funny, because i was reading the thread and typing it in here as it happened.
Crazy man.
LaughingWolf
Fri Oct 15, 2004 11:52 am
#1293
Very funny thread, I am at the page 23. lol
Ok, so I am a fairly new smuggler, 1-3-1-4.
This is a good story, that left me smilling for a few hours.
Me and the rest of my PA just moved in a new town, and I got Novice Smuggler soon afterward. A smuggler there (who just got Master Smuggler yesterday! Congrats N'ord, if you are reading this!!) helped me a lot, giving me access to a crafting station, ressources for spice grinding, selling me tools, etc. A few others in town started giving me containers and (later) cheap weapons to slice. I love my neighbors!
So I was having a good slicing day, just got Spice IV so put my Fence title up, and go to Coronet to shuttle somewhere. I was on my way to the starport when I got a tell, a guy asking me if I could slice a few containers for him. So I did, free of charge since I am grinding. He had 4 containers. Then, a minute later, while waiting for the shuttle, I got another tell, from another guy. That one was saying "Hey, if you are grinding slicing, I have 20 containers that need to be opened". I wa fresh out of tools, so I told him that I was very intereted, to just give me a few minutes to stock up again. Guy was very patient, waited for me to come back, I sliced all his containers, gave his stuff back to him. He tipped me 20k for my efforts. Not only did that guy gave me a great boost in my slicing grinding efforts, he payed me for it. Needless to say, I thanked him a lot!
Now, for a funny story..... I was in the City Halll, slicing open a few containers for our distinguished mayor. I transfered some of the stuff back to him, to free inventory. In one of the containers there was a pink kinda suit. He was feeling goofy because soon after I was seeing my bare leg pink tight shirt mayor dancing gracefully around the City Hall. I spammed the "screenshot" key, needless to say.... Can someone spell "blackmail"? *crooked smile*
Ok, so I am a fairly new smuggler, 1-3-1-4.
This is a good story, that left me smilling for a few hours.
Me and the rest of my PA just moved in a new town, and I got Novice Smuggler soon afterward. A smuggler there (who just got Master Smuggler yesterday! Congrats N'ord, if you are reading this!!) helped me a lot, giving me access to a crafting station, ressources for spice grinding, selling me tools, etc. A few others in town started giving me containers and (later) cheap weapons to slice. I love my neighbors!
So I was having a good slicing day, just got Spice IV so put my Fence title up, and go to Coronet to shuttle somewhere. I was on my way to the starport when I got a tell, a guy asking me if I could slice a few containers for him. So I did, free of charge since I am grinding. He had 4 containers. Then, a minute later, while waiting for the shuttle, I got another tell, from another guy. That one was saying "Hey, if you are grinding slicing, I have 20 containers that need to be opened". I wa fresh out of tools, so I told him that I was very intereted, to just give me a few minutes to stock up again. Guy was very patient, waited for me to come back, I sliced all his containers, gave his stuff back to him. He tipped me 20k for my efforts. Not only did that guy gave me a great boost in my slicing grinding efforts, he payed me for it. Needless to say, I thanked him a lot!
Now, for a funny story..... I was in the City Halll, slicing open a few containers for our distinguished mayor. I transfered some of the stuff back to him, to free inventory. In one of the containers there was a pink kinda suit. He was feeling goofy because soon after I was seeing my bare leg pink tight shirt mayor dancing gracefully around the City Hall. I spammed the "screenshot" key, needless to say.... Can someone spell "blackmail"? *crooked smile*
ieme
Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:00 am
#1295
here is my story you guys are going to be so jelous. (cant spell so bear with me)
ok after i got slicing two i had bought a bunch of copper and made about 7 analyzer nodes and was spamming that i slice containers for free.
then i geta tell thatsomeone needed some containers sliced.
so i asked him how many he said about 17.
then he said let me buy some more so it was about 28.
i start slicing them and run out of analyzer nodes.
so i have to start makeing them and slicing at the same time took me about 2 hours to slice all of his containers.
mainly because i was talking with him and joking around.
i asked him how long he played i think he said since launch.
but after i got done slicing for him
i got tipped:
300k
one jedi crystal
and 3 really good barrel enhancements
after this i asked him how much money he had and i guess he had about 50 million
so he kinda tipped me some pocket change.
i was freaked out really bad for quite a while.
EmpireEntrepeneur
Sat Oct 16, 2004 3:23 pm
#1296
-Ory wrote:
KabaI wrote:
OdiousEncounter wrote:
Pistoller wrote:lol 55 pages I'll never going to read all thisThat's what they all say
Tell me about it. I'm going through it for the second time, and am up to Pg 33. You guys kill me. Nothing funny ever happens to me.
lol same here
I got to page 13 last night (well actually this morning). It's something to do while working on the favorite Unarmed 4. It really helps kill the time running destroy missions which I probably will be doing all weekend. If any smuggler on Bria wants a new friend or smuggling (wanna be) padawan, send me tell. Now if the darn server will just finish loading!
Well I got to page 40 when I finally made Novice Smuggler!! YAY.
I haven't had any horror stories, or n00b tales, but I do have a very good customer tale, sorta. I'm not a big fan of spamming, so I really didn't want to go that route in collecting containers. I feel as a smuggler I would rather create a clientele list based on references, than searches and public announcements. So I went to Corellia (Mos Eisley local) and found a LC on the Bazaar. 5k!!. Geez, that would be 100k to get to Slicing 1. So I decided to see how hard it would be to get them on my own. Well I got one on my 6th meatlump mission, I figured it would take awhile, but I'd have some good money saved up. Now on my 8th mission, I ran into a Player. Without saying a word he starts to trade with me. I began to think, uh oh, not wanna these. I normally dont like grouping or trading without any form of discussion. But I am surely glad I did, trade!! He plopped a crate of power-ups, which I eventually realized was kind of like free samples. So I was happy to know this person was helping me out. But what I really NEEDED was lc's. So since I was in need of xp, I decided to break my RP mode and just ask. (I've tried asking for things in RP mode and it confuses alot of people). Hey do you have any LCs I can slice? Sure enough another trade is initiated. And he plops 3 of them in the trade box. I accept. I was so happy, I got more LCs just now than I did in the last hour. So he runs off and says he has more. I thought cool, and slice away. Now I didn't open them because I dont want to know the results. So he comes back. He begins to trade again this time with a satchel and about 5 more containers. Of course I didnt have enough room, so easily started destroying junk left and right. He then tells me to go ahead and keep anything of interest and destroy the junk. My mouth was basically drooling. I was so tempted to /worship him. So I was able to get half of slicing 1 done before I ran out of tools, and I still have the satchel full of LCs. Plus he is an AS and WS and said he will look me up if he needs my services. Best way to start off a life of crime, I think.
** Power-ups 1.5k a crate ** Contact Elia Darwin ** The greatest AS and WS a smuggler could have!!! **
Message Edited by EmpireEntrepeneur on 10-18-2004 04:57 AM
mengedej
Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:24 am
#1297
This happened to me at the first day of Master Smuggler. This was pretty much my first customer, (guildies excepted). After 3 minutes healing som BF in the cantina - I get a tell.
Customer: Hey, can you slice something for me?
Me: Surely, it's 3k per slice (knowing from reading this thread not to discuss prices later)
Customer: Where are you?
Me: Theed Cantina
Customer: omw
Me: (Thinking) wow, this starts really great, not more than three minutes and already a customer.
Customer walks into the cantina dressed in a mishmash of clothing and with a Novice Artisan title.
Me: (Thinking) oo.. I hope this becomes a funny story so I can post it on the forum... And no longer is he a customer, he is a potential newbie. The odds are getting better.
Potential newbie finds me /greet /tip 30k to me and Opens a trade window.
Potential newbie drops in a backpack with a "0" on it, he Accepts and does nothing more.
Me: Dude, I cant slice backpacks, only weapons and armor. Who told you to slice a backpack.. etc. etc.
I cancel the trade.
Me: (Thinking) hehe.. this starts out pretty well, I feel a good story coming my way! 30k for that backpack.. rich brat or just a 0 too many? And added bonus as well, no longer is he a potential newbie - hes a noob for sure.
Surely noob: The weapons are inside the backpack
Me: (Thinking) Eeh, Is it getting cold in here or is it just me? Ah, probably something in the air...
Surely noob wants to trade me again, so we bring up the trade window. He drops the same backpack in. Still a "0" on it.
Me: The backpack says "0" you probably forgot to put the weapons in. (Thinking) jeez...
I cancel the trade
Surely noob: I.. Nevermind, just accept the trade and have a look inside the back pack. Please. (Afterwards, I kind of admire him for being so cool about it)
Me: sure (Thinking) whatever...
We trade again, he gives me the same backpack, still a "0" on it.
I accept the trade. And have already started to think of appropriate lines to use in my reply.
I open the back pack.
My jaw drops to the floor - It's a ton of weapons in there. 
Complete fool (Me): (thinking) what tha f..k, I just made a complete id..t of myself
Surely NOT as nooby as the complete fool -noob: so?
Complete fool (Me): sorry, haven't actually traded backpacks before, just recently got my title.
Very understanding and forgiving customer: happens to everyone.. just slice them now will you?
Complete fool (Me): lol, this one's on me
Complete fool (Me): /tip 30k back to the highly appretiated customer
Complete fool (Me): (thinking) I guess it became a story after all. Sort of.
Reflection:
Don't assume you know it all, throw a couple of bugs in and you're pretty sure to loose your face at some point.
These are facts of on-line gaming:
1) Sometimes noobs are not noobs
2) Sometimes not noobs are noobs
3) Your not likley to tell who's who until it has gone to far...
Cile
Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:33 pm
#1298
So I thought I would share mine as well seeing as there are some complete and rediculously unintellegent people who play this game.....
I was a Master Weaponsmith/Master Smuggler and I had just dropped WS. I was looking to sell the last of my scythes that I
had made. I saw a guy spamming in Mining Outpost Dantooine looking for one. I told him I had one for sale, for 700k. He
said he didn't have the money, but was willing to trade 200k and a lot of pets for it. I couldn't believe it. So for the next half
hour while i was trying to conduct business there, i keep getting these tells from him trying to barter pretty much everything he
had, and telling me he couldn't be without one. Finally i agreed to trade him for a scythe schematic and his 200k.After that was
completed he wanted a slice for his power hammer. I agreed, when I got it I saw that it was already sliced. Well needless to
say dropping WS is the best move anyone can make, because I've never seen such stupid tells in all my life. I never run
around with my Master Smuggler tag on anymore either. 200k and some pets....great deal eh for a scythe??? lol
Cile Trakevih
Master Smuggler
Master Swordsman
Capital Punishment
Solaris, Naboo
Milgram
Tue Oct 19, 2004 1:31 pm
#1300
This is my favorite smuggler story from the other side of the fence - no pun intended. My friend had just had a Krayt FWG5 made, and found a master smuggler. The Smuggler slices it and gives it back. The smuggler says "Why did you tip me 100k?I only charge 3k for slices." My friend replies "I didn't tip you 100k for slicing it, the 100k was for giving it back."