Ranger Archive
Thread: From the Obituary thingy in Virrago's Weekly Picks.
Deadtech
Fri Aug 12, 2005 2:14 pm
#53
The Empire is pleased to announce the annihilation of the notorious rebel Deadtech, who 6 days ago was savagely swayed to the Dark Side by a stormtrooper. This incident occurred in a moisture farm on the planet Telos. The deceased was reported to have shouted "One thing's for sure - we're all gonna be a lot thinner!" just before expiring. Deadtech was reportedly accompanied by a bearded old jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will take the Death Star for a pleasure cruise.
rsabogremlin
Fri Aug 12, 2005 2:24 pm
#54
The Empire is pleased to announce the demise of the notorious rebel Illyrio Szabo, who 10 days ago was absolutely trampled with an AT-AT by a tusken raider. This incident occurred in a spaceport on the planet Mon Calamari. The deceased was reported to have shouted "The secret rebel base is on...!" just before expiring. Illyrio Szabo was reportedly accompanied by an underage princess in a white exercise suit who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will grin an evil grin and make a sinister nod.
lootranger3
Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:58 pm
#55
The Empire is pleased to announce the termination of the notorious rebel Letifer, who 9 days ago was absolutely trampled with an AT-AT by an anonymous bounty hunter. This incident occurred in an Imperial munitions dump on the planet Telos. The deceased was reported to have shouted "One thing's for sure - we're all gonna be a lot thinner!" just before expiring. Letifer was reportedly accompanied by a large wookie who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will take the Death Star for a pleasure cruise.
Tarnak_Archvold
Fri Aug 12, 2005 5:44 pm
#56
The Empire is pleased to announce the destruction of the notorious rebel Tarnak Archvold, who 5 days ago was absolutely crushed in a trash compactor by Asajj Ventress. This incident occurred in a stinky swamp on the planet Alderaan. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Where's the Force when you need it?!" just before expiring. Tarnak Archvold was reportedly accompanied by a little green jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will use the Force to levitate a taun-taun.
Well the moral of this one is obvious: Never trust a Rodian!!
Well the moral of this one is obvious: Never trust a Rodian!!
Bivity
Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:04 am
#57
Rancors on the deserts of Naboo and Jabba the Hutt driving around in an AT-AT.... sounds like a SWG game.
Oreet
Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:07 am
#58
YES!!!!
my PM to Virrago about this did not fall on deaf ears. (although if you read the forum, would it be deaf eyes? or blind eyes?)
so Virrago, who was the Father of the Trash Compactor? you or Garva?
Sondhi
Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:33 am
#59
The Empire is pleased to announce the expiration of the notorious rebel Sondhi, who 5 days ago was maliciously cut in half by Boba Fett. This incident occurred in a shipyard on the planet Naboo. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Yoda lives!" just before expiring. Sondhi was reportedly accompanied by a beat-up astromech droid who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will use the Force to levitate a taun-taun.
Boba Fett pwn's Sondhi 
Kiryoku
Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:33 am
#60
The Empire is pleased to announce the destruction of the notorious rebel Kago, who 8 days ago was absolutely blown from the sky by Darth Maul. This incident occurred in a smuggler's hideout on the planet Onderon. The deceased was reported to have shouted "That was no laserblast - something hit us." just before expiring. Kago was reportedly accompanied by a roguish smuggler who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will throw a parade.
at least Indy survived... seriously though, they need to nerf the range on saberthrow...
Oreet
Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:37 am
#61
he was using one of those Cyber Arms.
Kiryoku wrote:
seriously though, they need to nerf the range on saberthrow...
Kiryoku
Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:45 am
#62
fixed!
Oreet wrote:
The Empire is pleased to announce the demise of the notorious rebel Oreet, who 7 days ago was absolutely shot with a blaster at point blank range by Jabba the Hutt. This incident occurred in an Imperial outpost on the planet Alderaan. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Eetdad oohhh Chocovska! (I've been looking forward to this for a really long time)" just before expiring. Oreet was reportedly accompanied by a bearded jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will declare a new Imperial holiday called "We Killed the Rebel Day".
Oreet
Sat Aug 13, 2005 12:51 am
#63
gonna need a translator.
i'm guessing it's something in Rodese, probably something Greedo said, but it's been a while since i've watched a new hope.
Kiryoku
Sat Aug 13, 2005 2:44 am
#64
Oreet wrote:
gonna need a translator.
i'm guessing it's something in Rodese, probably something Greedo said, but it's been a while since i've watched a new hope.
so i'm really such a big geek?... i mean, i thought everybody walked around saying "wattu wa blinkee... quite pikassa... oh oh ohhoh" and "yahtay yahtay, yahtoe.... ... yahto cha"
ok fine...
HornedSandRanger
Sun Aug 14, 2005 8:22 am
#65
The Empire is pleased to announce the extermination of the notorious rebel Uudoo Graeth, who 9 days ago was callously killed in a lightsaber duel by an anonymous Sith Lord. This incident occurred in a secret rebel base on the third moon of Endor. The deceased was reported to have shouted "The secret rebel base is on...!" just before expiring. Uudoo Graeth was reportedly accompanied by a chatty protocol droid who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will throw a parade.
LMAO!!!