Ranger Archive
Thread: From the Obituary thingy in Virrago's Weekly Picks.
Carason
Fri Aug 12, 2005 8:47 am
#27
The Empire is pleased to announce the termination of the notorious rebel Jai', who 4 days ago was maliciously trampled with an AT-AT by Jabba the Hutt. This incident occurred in a stinky swamp on the planet Telos. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Easy, girl. You smell something?" just before expiring. Jai' was reportedly accompanied by several jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will use the Force to levitate a taun-taun.
Oreet
Fri Aug 12, 2005 8:49 am
#28
Jabba drives an AT-AT??????
Carason wrote:
The Empire is pleased to announce the termination of the notorious rebel Jai', who 4 days ago was maliciously trampled with an AT-AT by Jabba the Hutt. This incident occurred in a stinky swamp on the planet Telos. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Easy, girl. You smell something?" just before expiring. Jai' was reportedly accompanied by several jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will use the Force to levitate a taun-taun.
AgonThalia
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:02 am
#30
Oreet wrote:
Well, i did the obituary thing. And to all you Greedo-Haters, i hope you're happy:
The Empire is pleased to announce the demise of the notorious rebel Oreet, who 7 days ago was absolutely shot with a blaster at point blank range by Jabba the Hutt. This incident occurred in an Imperial outpost on the planet Alderaan. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Oh, yeah? Watch this!" just before expiring. Oreet was reportedly accompanied by a bearded jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will declare a new Imperial holiday called "We Killed the Rebel Day".
So the big question I have is this: did you shoot first? or were you punked? You gotta be pretty slow not to notice jabba roll his blubbery arms to grab a pistol
Noghrilover
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:04 am
#31
"The Empire is pleased to announce the demise of the notorious rebel Scnigey Wesley, who 7 days ago was ruthlessly trampled with an AT-AT by a battle droid. This incident occurred in a smuggler's hideout on the planet Dantooine. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Prepare to make the jump to light speed!" just before expiring. Scnigey Wesley was reportedly accompanied by an elderly reclusive uncle who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will destroy a small planet."
So I was on the ground and shouted, "Prepare to make the jump to light speed!"? Hmmm, I have no idea what I was thinking.
Oreet
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:06 am
#32
AgonThalia wrote:
Oreet wrote:
Well, i did the obituary thing. And to all you Greedo-Haters, i hope you're happy:
The Empire is pleased to announce the demise of the notorious rebel Oreet, who 7 days ago was absolutely shot with a blaster at point blank range by Jabba the Hutt. This incident occurred in an Imperial outpost on the planet Alderaan. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Oh, yeah? Watch this!" just before expiring. Oreet was reportedly accompanied by a bearded jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will declare a new Imperial holiday called "We Killed the Rebel Day".
So the big question I have is this: did you shoot first? or were you punked? You gotta be pretty slow not to notice jabba roll his blubbery arms to grab a pistol
i got a few shots off first, but he's so fat that the fat just absorbed the blaster bolts.
AgonThalia
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:07 am
#33
So I was on the ground and shouted, "Prepare to make the jump to light speed!"? Hmmm, I have no idea what I was thinking.
And i was blowed up in my starfighter by a rancor 
hehe...
Noghrilover
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:11 am
#34
Well those Rancors are pretty good pilots. I never underestimate them in any way.
Phenix1050
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:11 am
#35
and I was cut in half by my half-Bothan love child, Darth Maul.
Oreet
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:13 am
#36
Phenix1050 wrote:
and I was cut in half by my half-Bothan love child, Darth Maul.
who was the mommy?
AgonThalia
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:13 am
#37
Phenix1050 wrote:
and I was cut in half by my half-Bothan love child, Darth Maul.
/smirk
I knew there was something fishy, strange about him. every time i see that i just have to laugh!
at least you werentcaught with an underage princess.... lol
Phenix1050
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:15 am
#38
well, I did go through phase where I really like Zabrak chicks (don't ask). But that still doesn't pinpoint exactly who it was. I can't be bothered to remember silly things like names. But I'm pretty sure she had a very nice horn pattern.
Oreet wrote:
who was the mommy?
Phenix1050 wrote:
and I was cut in half by my half-Bothan love child, Darth Maul.
Noghrilover
Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:15 am
#39
I would like to see videos of all of these. It would make it even more funny than just reading it.