Merchant Archive
Thread: Annoying Customers you want to throw in the Sarlacc Pit
I must have sinned in a past life because I had anotherone last night (although its not really Merchant related)
I'm in the town and I've got my Master Artisan tag on, some guy asks me if I can make him a generic crafting tool he can buy off me. Well initially I was just going to tell him to use the bazaar to buy one but then I cracked and said I would - I then double check its the generic tool he wants
"Yeah I just need to make camps"
So I knock up a generic tool with the material I just happen to have on me, and since I'm not near a crafting station and the material isnt great (its my grinding material) the result isnt pretty (-15 rating I think)
I drop it in trade with no intention of charging him at all (we hadnt discussed a price anyway)
"Dude that crafting tool is poodoo" (he didnt actually say poodoo but the filter will get me if I type the word he actually used - I imagine you can all guess what he actually said)
I have to admit I kinda snapped - "What the hell do you expect, I have no crafting station, and I'm using the stuff I'm carrying on me!!!!!" - and there I was thinking he said he only wantedto make camps (blimey if you want a decent tool then you _dont_ want a generic one!)
But he took it andtipped me 300cr!!!! He could probably got a better one on the bazaar for less
Got my first blathering customer the other day.
Actually I was running survey missions and decided to stop at someones camp because they actually replied when I said "Hi" as I ran by. One of those really big cool encampments with a chem station.
I like sitting and BS'ing with strangers sometimes when I'm not hurried to do something else in the game.
He actually healed me while we were talking, and he started pulling some of his pets out to showoff while we passed the time.
Then he pulled out a little MSE, and I started laughing and telling him about my first droid - an MSE - that had storage but I couldn't put anything into it.
Yeah, that was the first droid he'd bought way-back-when, and he couldn't put anything into storage either.
My shop just happened to be about 700m away so I said "Hey, I can make you a new one with storage that (should) work."
He asked if I could make two for him - one for him and one for a friend. Cool, we ran over to my shop and while I was in the back building the little MSE's he was running around in front looking at all the chassis I had on display asking a million questions - "What does this one do?", "What does that one do?", "How many modules can you put in it?", "What does this and that module do?"
I didn't get much work done while we chatted, but I was LMAO thinking of all the posts over here.
I loved telling him all about the droids and what he could do with them. And in the end, he also wanted a surgical droid with med and chem station (and storage 
). Then he saw the R3 with it's 'brain in a bubble' and changed his mind about the surgical droid.
I just kept laughing to myself and building as fast as I could while replying to all his questions.....
I have had similiar experiences WHEN I used to play as a Master Merchant before utterly giving up on the whole idea. Some of my better ones:
The Good:
NoviceMe: Can you make me /mine/house/solar gen if I provide the resouces?
NoviceArchitect: I usually sell them for 20k but if you can provide resources I will make them for you.
NoviceMe: OK, How much does that take? 500 metal?
NoviceArchtect: LOL, OMG, U have to be kidding right? A solar gen is at least 7500 alone.
NoviceMe: Oh, i'm sorry I didn't realize it took that much, I only have 7000 crappy steel on me could I make up the difference?
NoviceArchitect: Let me check the Bazaar (Pause for 5 mins), OK, I got what I need to make it and I'll need your metals.
NoviceMe: Trade (Pause several minutes while she goes to crafting station). /ponder think this will take awhile.
NoviceArchitecct: All done, its got pretty good stats, where'd you get the good steel from, i need lots more of this.
NoviceMe: Trade, (/tip 1000c, since she did good job with experimenting). I mined most of the steel myself but am working on merchant so I'm always travelling and looking for sales and buy it, how much do you need?
NoviceArchitect: Thanks, pleasure doing business, well I'd need at least 50-100k aweek I think, and I'd pay up to 3cpu for the same stuff.
NoviceMe: Hmmm, I'll keep an eye out for you and keep my mines flowing, let me know if you ever need orders filled, I travel ALOT!
Architect became one of my biggest customers, sold several million ore, steel and specialty items to her.
----
The Bad:
In middle of Bestine city center: after picking up a ton of resouces off mines (100-150k quantity) and paying up maintenance/power fees and nearly broke again.
Dumb l33tdood: Hey vendor guy, can ju selz me sum metal?
MasterMe: Hmm, I'm not sure I understand your basic dialect, are you from the outer rim (RP), I think I understand that you are looking for metals?
Dumb l33tdood: DER!!!!!! Can ju selz me sum or not dood!
MasterMe: Yes, I sell various metals and actually have quite a bit on me at the moment, I have just returned from my mining facilities.
Dumb l33tdood: well i some metals, give me some..
MasterMe: Hmm, I'm still trying to figure out your dialect but did you say give you some?
Dumb l33tdood: der!!!!! god #@$% dude, qit the crap and giv me sum metal i no ju hav som on u
MasterMe: (What an idiot, want me to give him metal?) I'm still not certain on your dialect could you speak in basic so I can understand you better...I sell metals i currently have copper, ore, steel at decent quality.
Dumb l33tdood: @#$% you give me some metal. i need 100 stel to make sum stuff laz 4 wile..(i'm still trying to figure out what he's saying)
MasterMe: I think you need to seek out a protocol droid sir, or look on the bazaar terminal behind you for what you're looking for.
Dumb l33tdood: @#%% @#%$$@ @#%@$%#$%%^%^ u sux @#!@ wip, i tell all my frend u a theef cuz wont give me sum metal
MasterMe: the bazaar terminal is behind you sir! /Point at bazaar terminal.
With the amount of material I had on me, I had plenty to give to him I just could not bring myself to do it the way he acted.
----
The Ugly:
I'd already given up MasterMerchant and moved on to nearly a master CH w/ 1/2 BE walked into Anchorhead shortly after the release of mounts (later that day)
WookieCH: In middle of town../SHOUT selling BE crafted Kaaduu, first 1 million credits gets it!, come on start your bids, i want more!
CH Me(wearing title): you got to be kidding me, 1 mil for a kaadu.
WookieCH: @$#% off dood, im selling here..take ur crap @$#% on../shout come on need bids selling kaadu first 1 mil gets it will train for you for 50k.
CH Me: /slap wookieCH;/shout if you pay this piss ant more then 30k you are getting ripped off;/selling BE'd kaadu's, I Have 10 on my shop vendor (-insert shop waypoint), will train for you for an extra 5k (remember day of mount release even I jacked up prices to be competitive and sold kaadu's for 15k). Meet me by the cantina if interested.
WookieCH: u @#$%ing @#$$#@# u r cutin me dood stp or i'm go fry ur @%# u #$$%@#@$duel me!!!! u $@#$%@#
CH Me: (See 15 people crowding around me in front of the cantina). /shout it serves the wookie right for tryin to cheat people but if they were stupid enough to buy it for that price then so be it.Who's first guys?
CH Me: 28 tells in 30 seconds, and one more explicative /shout from a WookieCH who I promptly /addignore 'd.
While making 240k in the next 1/2 hour and not being greedy but competitive.
Hope you enjoyed these.
Agamemnon, The Sigis Company, Tattoine, Kauri
Master Merchant/Artisan (Retired), Novice CH/BE, Master Scout
OK it is near the start of the server. I've grinded architect hard. I have a freind looking for people that want to buy a PA hall. going price on the server at the time is 750K.
He says eh has someone, but its gotta be payments. Ok, folks dont have much cash at this point, so i tell him ONLY if he will personally guarentee it. so he agrees. then the mistell fromt he buyer saying she is broke and needs tipped to go pickup a pa hall, cause she just paid 750K for it so she needs the tip.
my freind at this point realizes the customer is not honest. [big surprise] But it gets better. the agreement was 50K down payment. She doesn;t have it. OK. so no deal we say. This lady goes FREAKIN BALLISTIC. Calls me a greedy theif etc.
OK so now I have a PA hall I have poured everything into. and no buyer. so I goto a town in naboo, and start yelling that I have one for sale....and..the bad customer walks in. see's me doing this...and goes ballistic again. starts saying how im a cheat etc, challenges me to a duel. uhmm..hello...I have NO combat skills.
So I advertise a PA hall for sale. BTW her message to me the next day was that she had bought one for 500K I think. And some garbage about down with rip off artists etc. So for fun the next day I advertise a naboo pa hall for 500K since X failed to pay for it after ordering it.
She began threatening me with her "CSR freinds" saying that she would have them ban me if I didn;t go play on another galaxy. It kept going. Then it went to the boards.
Finally I got annoyed. I sold it for ...well..235K with 60K down from a roleplaying PA. Why so cheap-the guy was cool, and I wanted to prove to customer X that it wasn;t about money.
She ahd ch pets named after me saying I was a cheat. heh. the whole server got to listen to all this too on the msg boards. I thought it was hilarious.
While wearing the Droid Builder Title:
He: can u make driods
Me: Well, yes. I'am a Droid Engineer after all.
He: (Runs away)
Me: ???
Another "customer", while still wearing the Droid Builder Title:
He: i need a robot.
Me: Good to hear. What kind of business you are in?
He: what?
Me: Droids can have different functions. Are you medic, a crafter, or maybe into the fighting business?
He: I need a robot to kill stuff.
Me: Than I would advice you to buy a probot. Depending on the installed modules and armour, my price for this droid starts by 7k and goes up to 45k for one with all the bells and whistles.
He: i don't have that much money. can u make droideka
Me: No, sorry. Droid Engineers can't build droidekas. Nobody can. They are only NPCs.
He: do u know some1 who can?
Me: No, like I said, no player can build a droideka. It's just not possible at this time.
He: but my friend saw 1 on [I forgot the name of the planet, Lok?]
Me: (starting to become impatient) There are a few areas where droidekas spawn as Mobs. But they are only NPCs, not player controlled pets.
He: then, how much for a droid?
Me: A probot?
He: No, a droideka.
Me: Look who's behind you? Please say hello to my ignorelist.
(He still stayed a few minutes in my shop, I guess he was still trying to converse with me)
wow, I cant believe this thread is still around. Some of these stories are too funny. Here is another of my more recent colorful conversations.
Beep, Incoming Tell.
Idiot: hi
Me: hiya
Idiot: Are you a master architect
Me: Yes, but i dont build structures anymore, only furniture. What are you looking for?
Idiot: I need a medium naboo house
Me: oh, well send XXX a tell, she is in my guild and builds houses
Idiot: she on now?
Me: Let me check (checked friends list, she not online)
Me: No actually she's not on right now, you could send her an email
Idiot: Well can you build it then
Me: no sorry, havent built a house in a long long time
Idiot: why are you an architect then if you dont want to build houses
Me: Because you get cool furniture with Master Architect
Idiot: Well can you just build it this one time, please just help me out
Me: no, i dont even build houses for myself, i just buy them from other people its easier
Idiot: I have money, i can pay well for it. ( well at least this one had money)
Me: sorry, answer still no
Idiot: you dont have to be an A$$hole about it. Gonna make sure to tell people not to buy houses from you.
Me: yay!!
~Prinethea
Gonna make sure to tell people not to buy houses from you.
Sigh...
While wearing my master armorsmith title and standing next to my vendor full of armor:
Customer: So what does a master armorsmith actually do?
Me: I make armor.
Customer: So what can you make?
Me: Armor.......ahh never mind.
Me: /quit
Heres my customer for the pit....
During a monthly PA meeting....
Customer: "Can you make me a spec-ops backpack"
Me: "YesI have some on my vendor at WP 1715,-4320 NE of Anchorhead"
Customer: "I don't have a mount that is far can you deliver it"
Think to myself hmm I am 1750m from Eisley and AH how far away is this guy and does he really expect me to deliver a 1000 credit backpack???
Me: "I am in an important PA meeting right now, but I also do not deliver orders unless they are over 35k worth of items."
Customer: "Oh so you cant deliver it. Can you bring it the next time you come to town?"
Me: "I live in a player city and rarely travel to towns but I can look you up when I do."
Customer: "Comon you have to come to cities often."
Me: "Actually I really dont, at best once per week"
Thinking: Goodnight this is only a freaking backpack. Please tell me that is the end of it.
5 minutes pass.
Customer: "Ok I borrowed a mount from a friend what is your WP again"
Me: "WP is #. 1750m NE of Anchorhead where are you coming from?"
Customer: "I am in Anchorhead."
Me: "You do realize that AH is only a 5 min run from here, but on a mount you can do it in one gallop."
5 minutes pass and I have missed much of our PA meeting.
Customer: "Ok which shop is it"
Me: "The one right where the WP leads you. Rebela's Outfitters by Master tailor Galeocerdo
I am amazed that he could not find shop.
Customer: "Door is locked."
Me: " You have a TEF wait 5 min and you will be allowed in."
5 minutes pass
Customer: "Hey there is not one on your vendor."
Me: "Did you check the third page of sales? Click next items."
Email notifying me of my measly 1k sale that took 20 min.
Customer: "Can you makemea shirt to match what I have on?"
Me: "Sorry I am in a PA meeting but if you email me an order I can make it for you later"
Customer: "How long"
Me: "Probably tomorrow"
Customer: "ohh well nevermind"
Me: "Ok well thanks for your business."
TO THE SARLAC PIT!!!!! And note to self remove make character searchable function during meetings.
ROFL!
Though I'm not a merchant (yet), I'm a novice doctor and soon to be a novice tailor. If I have my novice doctor title up, I get all kinds of spam for heals/buffs (which I can't even do yet). One night, my guildmates and I were in the force crystal caves on Dantooine. I had some jerk spam me for heals (who wasn't even a member of my party). I was the only dedicated medic in the group and we were getting swarmed. I had no time to heal him. My policy is this: Groupmates come first. If we have time in between fights and I get a heal request from non party members, THEN I will heal. If you're not in my group, then you'll just have to wait.
Idiot: can you heal me?
Idiot: can you heal me?
Idiot: can you heal me?
Idiot: can you heal me?
Me: (in the middle of battle) Not at this time. I'm busily keeping my guildmates alive. You'll have to wait.
Idiot: Why won't you heal me?? I'm incompacitated!
Me: Scroll up.
No response
A few seconds later (again we're in the middle of another fight)
Idiot: can you heal me?
Idiot: can you heal me?
Idiot: can you heal me?
Idiot: can you heal me?
Me: Just for spamming me, No. You'll have to find another healer. Oh, and by the way, welcome to my ignore list!
On beggars, I hate beggars. I am one of those who is always almost broke but like to earn what cash I need from missions or whatever. I had my helper tag on one day because I needed apprentice points for master medic. So I had this conversation with a beggar:
Beggar: Can you give me 5k for a weapon? My old one broke.
Me: (to myself) "**edit**?!" To him: Sorry, I don't have the cash to spare.
Beggar: No response
An hour later
Beggar: Can you loan me 10k? I need it for a weapon. My old one broke.
Me: *very miffed* "I told you earlier I don't have the cash to spare. You can earn money like the rest of us by A) doing delivery missions or B) doing destroy missions. Begging is not cool. Oh, and welcome to the ignore list!
Obena Crestrunner
Novice Doctor and soon to be Tailor
Lowca Galaxy
Crusaders of the Imperium
Imperium, Talus