Commando Archive
Thread: What if The Combat Balance was a Dog's name?
Perfectly quiet day, nothing going on in the office at all and I suddenly burst out laughing 
A guy was in a barbragging about what a prize fighting dog he had. "Combat Balance is the undisputed champion of the dog-fighting world!" he exclaimed. While most people tend to ignore boasting, this man they gave their undivided attention, for sitting at his feet was the largest bull mastiff anyone there had ever witnessed. Combat Balance easily stood as tall as a Shetland pony, with a smooth shiny skin and sleek, rippling muscles.
"Yep, there ain't a dog in the world that can take down my Combat Balance," he continued.
A man sitting quitely at the end of the bar endured this bragging for about 20 minutes, then stood up and said, "I'll take your challenge."
The bar crowd hushed instantly at this statement. Even the man seemed taken aback. "You WANT to challenge Combat Balance?" he asked incredulously.
"Sure, setup a time and place," the newcomer answered.
Seizing on an opportunity to make some side-line betting, the bar owner immediately offered the fenced off back section of his bar. The bar crowd rushed out into the area, jostling for a good place to stand, while the newcomer sauntered off to the parking lot to go get his challenger.
The crowd chattered amongst themselves in tense excitement, betting and offering their opinions on the possible outcome. The mood changed instantly to one of comical laughter when the crowd laid eyes on the challengers dog. While almost as big as Combat Balance, this creature was mangy and unkept. His skin hung loosely around his frame, and he walked with a slight gait.
"This is Droid Engineer," the challenger stated, causing even more people to laugh out loud. Bets flew fast and furious as the bartender brought the two owners and their pets into the marked-out arena.
The fight was quick and brutal. The minute the leashes were unhooked, Droid Engineer pounced on Combat Balance with a ferocity bordering on the primal. Combat Balance stood no chance, and, within a few seconds, it was over.
The crowd stood in shocked silence. Combat Balance's owner looked disbelievingly at the remains of his prize, then turned to the victor and croaked,"How? How is it possible? Your beast looks like it got dragged out of a sewer."
"Oh man," the victor replied, "you should have seen what he looked like before I shaved off his mane."
A man at the bar was braggin about his dog Combat Balance. It was the toughest dog anyone had ever seen, been in several fights and never lost a one.
A little man walks into the door and ask, "Who owns the dog named Conbat Balance?" The man stands up replying "I do why?" The smaller man says, I'm sorry but my dog just killed Combat Balance. Stunned, the guys asked what kind of dog do you have? "Poodle." was the response.
After the roaring laughter dies down, he asked How in the world can that dog kill Combat Balance? The timid man replies...."He choked to death to trying to swallow it."
THANKS KEEP IT UP!
Thunderheart wrote:
A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he'd been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.
The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the canapés the young man realized he couldn't hold it in one second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.
"COMBAT BALANCE!" called out the young woman's mother to the family dog, lying at the young man's feet.
Relieved at the dog's having been blamed, the young man let another, slightly larger one go. "COMBAT BALANCE!" she called out sharply. "I've got it made," thought the fellow to himself. One more and I'll feel fine. So he let loose a really big one.
"COMBAT BALANCE!" shrieked the mother. "Get over here before he sh**s on you!"
I am sorry TH, but that was pretty unoriginal. Thit is an old joke, maybe even as old as I. You just changed the dog's name.
Barfalomue wrote:
Thunderheart wrote:
A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he'd been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.
The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the canapés the young man realized he couldn't hold it in one second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.
"COMBAT BALANCE!" called out the young woman's mother to the family dog, lying at the young man's feet.
Relieved at the dog's having been blamed, the young man let another, slightly larger one go. "COMBAT BALANCE!" she called out sharply. "I've got it made," thought the fellow to himself. One more and I'll feel fine. So he let loose a really big one.
"COMBAT BALANCE!" shrieked the mother. "Get over here before he sh**s on you!"
I am sorry TH, but that was pretty unoriginal. Thit is an old joke, maybe even as old as I. You just changed the dog's name.
I've heard it as well, but it still made me laugh
Tesshu
I am sorry TH, but that was pretty unoriginal. Thit is an old joke, maybe even as old as I. You just changed the dog's name.
Well TH if nothing else you proved there are people on this board who will complain about absolutely everything.
Vowelumos wrote:
I am sorry TH, but that was pretty unoriginal. Thit is an old joke, maybe even as old as I. You just changed the dog's name.
Well TH if nothing else you proved there are people on this board who will complain about absolutely everything.
Ummm...I don't think this board corners the market on that aspect...there are people on every board that "will complain about absolutely everything"....Point me to a board and I'll point you to a ridiculous complaint...