Chef Archive
Thread: Chef Customer's Stupid Questions of the year!
LuciousOtso
Mon Dec 20, 2004 7:39 pm
#14
lmao sorry there mr. andlo 
i did indeed pawn him off on you 
i did indeed pawn him off on you
CraftingGenius
Tue Dec 21, 2004 9:56 am
#15
mine isnt that good, but one day some guy came up to me and said "can you make me some super brandy."
"define SUPER"
"umm... i dont know, but do you have any super brandy"
"can you tell me the stats you are looking for and i will tell you if i have it"
"i dont want stats i want super brandy"
"lol"
"lol"
at this point he didnt know what i was laughing about so i sent him to a different chef to talk to him,that chef still has not been rid of the SUPER brandy guy
-Sceno
Cibila
Tue Dec 21, 2004 10:25 am
#16
Customer Clueless : Hi I need to buy a lot of X (some non common food as I didnt stock it), do you think you could make me a volume discount.
Me : Sure I can make it, and yes I can give you a discount for volume how many crates did you have in mind.
Customer Clueless : How many per crate
Me: 25 stacks per crate X uses per stack.
Customer Clueless : ohh then Ill need 2 crates.
Me: No problem, I will make you 2 crates but I only give discounts for orders of 5 or more.
Customer Clueless : No thanks then, Ill just go to Chef Z he will give me a discount.
I was standing next to Chef Z who is my friend and advised him about the Volume Sale he was going to get and cracked up decided not to give Mr. Clueless a discount either..
Cibila
Bliznit
Tue Dec 21, 2004 10:29 am
#17
CraftingGenius wrote:
mine isnt that good, but one day some guy came up to me and said "can you make me some super brandy."
"define SUPER"
"umm... i dont know, but do you have any super brandy"
"can you tell me the stats you are looking for and i will tell you if i have it"
"i dont want stats i want super brandy"
"lol"
"lol"
at this point he didnt know what i was laughing about so i sent him to a different chef to talk to him,that chef still has not been rid of the SUPER brandy guy
-Sceno
He-He,
Cami, Odds and I used to have some great fun sending the Nooblar questions all around.
Player: "do you make Good Brandy? I need Good brandy, I'm standing at your vendor on Naboo and need it super quick!!!"
Bliz: Not me sorry, you need to go see Cami on Talus for "GOOD" brandy, here is a WP"
/wait 20 mins
Cami: /tell Bliz what the heck? who is this guy? you sent him to me why?
Bliz: /halo 
/wait 20 mins more.
Odds: /tell Bliz Arrrgggh!! not again!! Stop giving me all your Noob customers!! Now I have to explain to him why he can only drink 2 brandies, and how steak is a FOOD not a drink!"
bliz: /halo, /addignore Odds (for a day or so, gotta stop the spam somewhere! )
Always love hearing these stories.,
Cheers and Happy New Years,
CasualMaker
Tue Dec 21, 2004 11:11 am
#18
MaliaMing wrote:
Not completely chef related, but I once had someone look at me, with my full chef suit on and ask me if I could make them a medium Naboo house. Puzzled, I politely informed them that I was a master chef. Then I realized that I was wearing my novice artisan tag. Somehow, artisan and architect had gotten switched in their head. I got a chuckle out of it, since I have *never* been asked to make a house before.
The title at the top of the Artisan's Domestic Arts line is "Homemaker"...
JayWind
Wed Dec 22, 2004 1:18 am
#21
This just happened the other day.
I had just stcoked the vendor with Synthsteak, but I always rename things to be {AM} Food name - stats, AM being the initials of my character.
So this day I just put up a bunch of {AM} Synthsteak - 35% for 31 in crates as well as singles. I cater to newer players so my stuff is not BE enhanced and it's really cheap, and very popular, btw, so don't laugh at the stats of the steak.
Anyways, this guy comes walking in, buffed, in composite, tons of bages, mastered a bunch of professions, yadda yadda. It's common for people looking for cheap food to buy my stuff, so I figured this guy was one of them.
He goes to my vendor, statnds, there, then asks me "Where is your Synthsteak?"
I tell him I just put a bunch of crates up, and they should still be there.
He tells me he can't find them. I look on the vendor, they're right there. I tell him to look under Misc-Food and Misc-Factory Crates to find them. He says he is. He gets annoyed, I can't understand why he can't see them, and after a few minutes of trying to help him, he finally says "It helps if I make the column wider so I can see the full name, huh?"
I had just stcoked the vendor with Synthsteak, but I always rename things to be {AM} Food name - stats, AM being the initials of my character.
So this day I just put up a bunch of {AM} Synthsteak - 35% for 31 in crates as well as singles. I cater to newer players so my stuff is not BE enhanced and it's really cheap, and very popular, btw, so don't laugh at the stats of the steak.
Anyways, this guy comes walking in, buffed, in composite, tons of bages, mastered a bunch of professions, yadda yadda. It's common for people looking for cheap food to buy my stuff, so I figured this guy was one of them.
He goes to my vendor, statnds, there, then asks me "Where is your Synthsteak?"
I tell him I just put a bunch of crates up, and they should still be there.
He tells me he can't find them. I look on the vendor, they're right there. I tell him to look under Misc-Food and Misc-Factory Crates to find them. He says he is. He gets annoyed, I can't understand why he can't see them, and after a few minutes of trying to help him, he finally says "It helps if I make the column wider so I can see the full name, huh?"
MaliaMing
Tue Dec 28, 2004 11:28 pm
#22
Ok, I have a new one. This just happened 5 minutes ago, and I'm ready to bang my head against the wall. (All typos are taken directly from the original conversation.)
Customer: Can you make me a crait of canape?
Me: There are crates on my vendor right now.
C: How much it cost?
C (20 seconds later, as I was typing my response): How much it cost?
M: +725/33f/9m 44s for 185k. Canapes are an emergency food. If you want something cheaper and more effective for PvE, ahrisa rocks the house.
C: Were?
M: Were what?
C: Her shop.
M: Who's shop?
C: Ahrisa.
M: No, ahrisa is a food. It's generally cheaper than canape because it uses a smaller additive. It's more effective for PvE because it keeps your mind up and it lasts for 45 minutes instead of 7.
C: It does the same thing as canape?
M: Sort of. Canapes buff both substats for a short period of time, ahrisa buffs one substat for 45 minutes, but if you're a swordsman, usually 2 brandies will get you by and if you need something more, you can pop ahrisa's 3 at a time. And if you get in trouble and you have 33% of your stomach filling emoty, you can pop a canape for an extra boost.
C: What substat makes my mind regen faster?
M: TBH, I can't remember, but I do know that since discovering ahrisa, I don't ever use canapes anymore unless I'm in big trouble.
C: Ok its willpower. So that food gives me more willpower?
M: No, brandy does mind/focus/willpower and canapes do focus/willpower, but before this goes any further...let me ask what your main purpost for using the food is. Are you using it in an emergency or are you using it for normal PvE stuff?
C: I need a good that makes my mind regen faster.
M: Then all you need is ahrisa and brandy with canapes for emergencies.
And with that, his game crashed. I'd like to think of that as the swg gods' way of saving my as$ from having to continue the conversation. *scream*
UPDATE: He logged back on, continued to ask me about it, and I continued to give him the same answer. Finally, he asked me where he could get the food. I told him there were singles "up there" thinking he knew I had a vendor, and then he proceeded to ask me "Up where? A vendor?" My patience wore thin and I said, "No, up above my head. Yes...on my vendor." I then told him where he could find the vendor and he went on his merry way.
5 minutes later I got a tell saying, "This does focus. I need willpower. I'm just going to get the canape." As I was trying to type out my reply with my hands shaking out of frustration, I got the e-mail saying that he'd just purchased a crate of canape.
I then told him that he was spending more money on something that he was going to eat up faster that wouldn't last as long (when do you hear a chef trying to talk their customers OUT of buying something??!) and then I told him that if he wanted to try the ahrisa, I'd take back the crate of canape and he could get it.
Then, I had a change of heart. I told him I'd be right down. So I ran over to my vendor in the middle of town, and told him that he couldn't return the crate. I told him that I'd GIVE him a piece of ahrisa to try and if I was wrong, he'd have the canape to hold him over, but if I was right, he could return it for the ahrisa.
He then tried repeatedly to get me to take back the crate of canape, saying I told him it was worse and couldn't understand when I refused, despite what I'd just told him about keeping it in case he was right. He finally took the sample (when do you hear a chef FORCING someone to take free food??!) and 5 minutes later, I got a tell saying, "I guess this is better." Hardly enough time to take his shuttle and kill a huurton! It's a rare occasion when something as silly as a game manages to get me frazzled, but OMFG.
Customer: Can you make me a crait of canape?
Me: There are crates on my vendor right now.
C: How much it cost?
C (20 seconds later, as I was typing my response): How much it cost?
M: +725/33f/9m 44s for 185k. Canapes are an emergency food. If you want something cheaper and more effective for PvE, ahrisa rocks the house.
C: Were?
M: Were what?
C: Her shop.
M: Who's shop?
C: Ahrisa.
M: No, ahrisa is a food. It's generally cheaper than canape because it uses a smaller additive. It's more effective for PvE because it keeps your mind up and it lasts for 45 minutes instead of 7.
C: It does the same thing as canape?
M: Sort of. Canapes buff both substats for a short period of time, ahrisa buffs one substat for 45 minutes, but if you're a swordsman, usually 2 brandies will get you by and if you need something more, you can pop ahrisa's 3 at a time. And if you get in trouble and you have 33% of your stomach filling emoty, you can pop a canape for an extra boost.
C: What substat makes my mind regen faster?
M: TBH, I can't remember, but I do know that since discovering ahrisa, I don't ever use canapes anymore unless I'm in big trouble.
C: Ok its willpower. So that food gives me more willpower?
M: No, brandy does mind/focus/willpower and canapes do focus/willpower, but before this goes any further...let me ask what your main purpost for using the food is. Are you using it in an emergency or are you using it for normal PvE stuff?
C: I need a good that makes my mind regen faster.
M: Then all you need is ahrisa and brandy with canapes for emergencies.
And with that, his game crashed. I'd like to think of that as the swg gods' way of saving my as$ from having to continue the conversation. *scream*
UPDATE: He logged back on, continued to ask me about it, and I continued to give him the same answer. Finally, he asked me where he could get the food. I told him there were singles "up there" thinking he knew I had a vendor, and then he proceeded to ask me "Up where? A vendor?" My patience wore thin and I said, "No, up above my head. Yes...on my vendor." I then told him where he could find the vendor and he went on his merry way.
5 minutes later I got a tell saying, "This does focus. I need willpower. I'm just going to get the canape." As I was trying to type out my reply with my hands shaking out of frustration, I got the e-mail saying that he'd just purchased a crate of canape.
I then told him that he was spending more money on something that he was going to eat up faster that wouldn't last as long (when do you hear a chef trying to talk their customers OUT of buying something??!) and then I told him that if he wanted to try the ahrisa, I'd take back the crate of canape and he could get it.
Then, I had a change of heart. I told him I'd be right down. So I ran over to my vendor in the middle of town, and told him that he couldn't return the crate. I told him that I'd GIVE him a piece of ahrisa to try and if I was wrong, he'd have the canape to hold him over, but if I was right, he could return it for the ahrisa.
He then tried repeatedly to get me to take back the crate of canape, saying I told him it was worse and couldn't understand when I refused, despite what I'd just told him about keeping it in case he was right. He finally took the sample (when do you hear a chef FORCING someone to take free food??!) and 5 minutes later, I got a tell saying, "I guess this is better." Hardly enough time to take his shuttle and kill a huurton! It's a rare occasion when something as silly as a game manages to get me frazzled, but OMFG.
Message Edited by MaliaMing on 12-28-2004 10:56 PM
Wengel
Wed Dec 29, 2004 4:27 pm
#24
Well.. i've had a lot of stupid customers. Can't remember all the stupid questions, but some of those already in this thread is good... i've had them too.
People complaining about me not having ahrisa, when i just stocked 160 crates onto the vendor... My vendors is barking "remember next page" for that reason.
"Do you make brandy?" - Stupid question of the Year.
Had a guy complain about the crate of brandy he bought didn't work. "item didn't exist". I checked his name in Merchants Friend. Turned out he had bought some Accarragm 2 weeks ago. And now this was his way of trying to get me to give him a crate of brandy, without returning the Accarragm.
He got quite pissed when i told him that i could track all my sales. And then explained him exactly what he had bought, and the date and time of the purchase. Never heard from him again. Took an Accarragm of the exact same run to verify. Worked perfectly.
Where's your vendor only happend a few times, with me standing inside it restocking the vendor. With the guy next to me.
People asking if the "Food & Drinks By Omi" vendor is mine.. They send a tell to "Omi" and asks that - that's genious)
Oh, i've also been asked if i needed Brandy, cause this guy could would like to sell me something - With me wearing the Master Chef tag, and full "chef uniform".
But oh well... They throw money at us, so i guess we have to get used to customers with the same IQ as the keyboard they're typing on.
CobaltSorrow
Wed Dec 29, 2004 11:09 pm
#25
Here's one of myrecent encounters.
Newbie: Hey!
Me: Yes?
Newbie: You chef?
Me: I am a chef, yes.
Newbie: I need some good food
Me: Ok, i'm not sure exactly what you are looking for but i have 2 vendors, i'll send you the wp's and you can check out all that I have in stock.
"I send newbie my standard business email."
Newbie: Just tell me what you have.
Me: lol i can't do that, i can't keep track of the stats of all the different foods and drinks I carry, just go check it out.
Newbie: Where's the shop?
Me: I just sent you the wp's.
Newbie: Yeah, where's the shop?
/mood frustrated
Me: If you activate the wp's, you'll see that one is just outside Cnet and the other is in my player city.
Newbie: ok i'll go see
grrr.
(10 minutes later with no vendor sales emails)
Newbie: Where is your good food?
Me: On my vendors.
Newbie: I'm at your vendor and I don't see any food
Me: Which shop are you at?
Newbie: The coronet one
what the heck? i know i have close to 300 crates on each vendor, so i rush to the vendor and click "all"
"The list of the first 100 items pops up"
whew!
Me: there is plenty of food on the vendor
Newbie: I don't see any
Me: Click the "All" button at the top.
30 seconds pass
Newbie: Oh, i was looking under the food and drink sections.
Me: Sorry, all my food is in factory crates of 5, 10 and 25, so you need to use "all" or Misc..."Factory Crates"
Newbie: Your too expensive.
I actually think i'm the cheapestBE chef who ever existed, but whatever.
Me: Sorry, those are the prices I charge for food, any cheaper than that and I'd be losing money on each crate i sold.
Me: Sorry, those are the prices I charge for food, any cheaper than that and I'd be losing money on each crate i sold.
Newbie: Ok, i'll keep looking
Newbie leaves store.
45 minutes later.
Newbie: Do you know any other good chefs?
/addignore
I try so hard to be nice to prospective customers, but some encounters just aren't worth the business.
MaliaMing
Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:49 am
#26
LOL! Some people just kill me.
I love when I get the "you're too expensive" thing because I then *know* that the person hasn't a clue as to why my prices are what they are. I've gotten tired of explaining that I won't stay stocked past a day if I price foods of my quality at the level everyone else is, so I just let other chefs deal with those customers. It may not be the best way to handle it, but it's all I can do to stay semi-sane somedays. lol.
I love when I get the "you're too expensive" thing because I then *know* that the person hasn't a clue as to why my prices are what they are. I've gotten tired of explaining that I won't stay stocked past a day if I price foods of my quality at the level everyone else is, so I just let other chefs deal with those customers. It may not be the best way to handle it, but it's all I can do to stay semi-sane somedays. lol.