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Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler

-Firestar-
Mon Sep 05, 2005 9:54 pm
#1938

Well, look at it this way, killing something or blowing something up is fun and cheerful. Ummm..... so is gouging old man's eyes with sticks.

Something interesting happened to me before work. I'm out hunting borvos with a companion and I get a /tell asking for a slice. I tell him he needs to get here in the next 15 and I'm sorry I can't meet you somewhere convienent.


/tell back np. I will come to you.


We finish killing the borvos and the guy shows up. He asks if I can do armor. My heart sinks.


Me(spatial): Man, I've been out of shock absorbant padding for a week now and the ones on the bazzar are 350k.


Him(spatial): I know. I spoke to such and such he told me to come to you. And I bought the shock absorbant padding Is 1M enough for your services?


I'm falling out of my chair and I switch to groupchat.


Me: Is this guy SERIOUS? What do I do? I've never charged that much for ANY slice.


Companion: Meh. Take it.


Oh, man now I'll feel bad. He bank tips me before he gives me the armor (Grrr..... watch it be pre-cu) and I soon see why he offered so much. 3 pieces of ADKed shock trooper armor. The mil was probably insurance he would get it back.


Works for me, Now I don't feel bad anymore. I slice it and give him his armor back.


Good job, trader.


Kicker: he asks if he can hunt me down again for the rest of the pieces. *die*


Message Edited by -Firestar- on 09-05-2005 11:11 PM



____o[ggngg]o:
.
[]ggg[c]ggggg]:
ª-Firestar- Aliciaª Master Smuggler
==''///_/''^===/' Firestar- Alex Elder Architect
_/// Guardian of the Smuggler Board
Master of Interior Design
"I aim to misbehave." -Malcom Reynolds
"They told me they fixed it! I trusted them!" -Lando Calrissian

TashunkaSapa
Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:05 pm
#1939






Carryall wrote:

Customer: Ok, I want 75k faction.


Me: Wow, that will cost a lot.


Customer: N/P I have money.


Me: Ok, that will have a cost of about7.2 mil {(75000 x 1.117)81 } = 7150275


Him: Hmmm my "friend" never charged me more than 50k credits for that much.





This guy honestly wanted you to believe that anyone would sell faction for less than a credit per point? I think we ought to put our heads together and find some way to hoist such people on their own petard.



Shaan'ti Hokai (Kauri)
Imperial Pilot Ace/Master Smuggler/Master Bounty Hunter
Master Explorer. Force-Sensitive. HERO OF TATOOINE.
BountyHunter908
Tue Sep 06, 2005 3:31 am
#1940

these are some of the funniest stories ever
MastaDrapheus
Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:52 am
#1941


I got another one.



Dude: hi, what would it cost to get2 weapons sliced for max speed?


Me: An arm.


Dude: haha thats funny


Dude: seriously how much


Me: Seriously, an arm


Dude: what


Me: I'll take one cybernetic arm. (this guy was a master pikeman who already had a cybo arm attached to him, so i was positive he had another one).


Dude: Oh lol yeah i have one that i don't use that seems fair enough


Me: Nice. Lets do it to it.



I proceed to slice his weapons, then I quickly turn around and sell the cybo arm for 1.3 million, whereas those slices would have been 600k.



/pleased


Message Edited by MastaDrapheus on 09-06-2005 01:57 PM



------Drapheus - Master Smuggler, Master Pistoleer, CM 4xxx, Master Grouch, Imperial Colonel - "Accommodating your fight to be rich and evil"------

- I support the CU and am grateful that we have a game that continues to evolve rather than stagnate. Join the positive voices!
Arrrg, there's a steering wheel in my pants, and it's drivin' me nuts!
Chasing bootie and azzcappn' since Sept. '03
Waarangel
Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:59 am
#1942

Client: So what makes you the best? I thought all smugglers sliced the same


N'Varra: Then why are you here?


Client: I was told you were the best


N'Varra: Ok then, let's get started


(does some slicing)


N'Varra: I am sure you will be pleased with the results.


Client: Wow! This is awesome. Thank you. I am going to tell everyone I know to come to you.


/tip 950000


N'Varra: Much appreciated


Client: You really are the best. Thanks again. /bye


N'Varra: That's what they say /bye


Not meant as boastful, but I find it funny. It's all about credibility and reputation in the end.



N'VARRAWREN®
Unabunko Kwee Kunee Ulwan
MastaDrapheus
Tue Sep 06, 2005 11:03 am
#1943






Waarangel wrote:

Client: So what makes you the best? I thought all smugglers sliced the same


N'Varra: Then why are you here?


Client: I was told you were the best


N'Varra: Ok then, let's get started




I love it haha




------Drapheus - Master Smuggler, Master Pistoleer, CM 4xxx, Master Grouch, Imperial Colonel - "Accommodating your fight to be rich and evil"------

- I support the CU and am grateful that we have a game that continues to evolve rather than stagnate. Join the positive voices!
Arrrg, there's a steering wheel in my pants, and it's drivin' me nuts!
Chasing bootie and azzcappn' since Sept. '03
TashunkaSapa
Tue Sep 06, 2005 11:39 am
#1944






Waarangel wrote:


Not meant as boastful, but I find it funny. It's all about credibility and reputation in the end.






That's really all we have, and it's our most valuable commodity.



Shaan'ti Hokai (Kauri)
Imperial Pilot Ace/Master Smuggler/Master Bounty Hunter
Master Explorer. Force-Sensitive. HERO OF TATOOINE.
RandomRodian1010
Tue Sep 06, 2005 3:46 pm
#1945

here is one of mine only I am a chef


Idiot_90000: Will you make me food?


me: ok what kind of food


Idiot_90000: good food that helps and such


me: ok that is what i sell...


Idiot_90000: what does your food do


me: it varies


Idiot_90000: do you make Wookiee Juice


me: there is no such thing as Wookiee Juice


Idiot_90000: I want cake


me: ok what kind of cake


Idiot_90000: cake you can eat


by this time I was really annoyed


Idiot_90000: pumpkin


me: ok that is nice but back to business-


Idiot_90000: PUMPKIN


me: butt


Idiot_90000: can you make me some of that?


me: you are a retard


Idiot_90000: I LIKE CANDY


me: /ignore


TashunkaSapa
Tue Sep 06, 2005 4:35 pm
#1946

Just tell him that it requires 500 units of Dathomir pumpkin, which can be looted from Ancient Bull Rancor nests.



Shaan'ti Hokai (Kauri)
Imperial Pilot Ace/Master Smuggler/Master Bounty Hunter
Master Explorer. Force-Sensitive. HERO OF TATOOINE.
Waarangel
Thu Sep 08, 2005 12:18 pm
#1947

These stories remind me of sooo many. It's hard to not just put them all out there at once...


Ok First: Anyone remember early on when there was visual glitches with hats? Twi'lek puts on hat. Twi'lek takes off hat. Twi'lek gives hat to huuman. Huuman puts on hat and has lekku. Was very funny.


Huuman: So what else can you do with those lekku other than communicate?


N'Varra (lekku): I can detach your groin from the rest of your body


Huuman: What are you saying? Can you teach me that language?


N'Varra(Ryl): Do you have headtails?


Huuman: No


N'Varra(Ryl): Well I can sell you a hat that has pseudo lekku built in to help you understand


Huuman: How much?


N'Varra(Ryl): 500k, but you will be able to understand lekku. Nobody can understand it without this item


Huuman: Deal


(trade, huuman puts on hat with lekku visual glitch)


Huuman: Ok, talk to me now


N'Varra(lekku):You are SUCH a dumbass


(all the Twils in the bar howl with laughter)


Second: Standing around Kor Vella cantina, very early on ingame (was my starting city), having just come back from a 5 week jaunt on Dathomir. Was almost Master Smuggler. Hanging out in the bar, some Trandoshan was mouthing off to my girlfriends, /slap /punch /puke etc. He wouldn't stop so I asked him to come duel. He said of course. So out we go.


I had NEVER dueled another player at this point. He makes the duel challenge. I accept. (Didn't know that gave me an advantage back then). Panic shot, last ditch, last ditch, incapped Doshan. DB.


Well needless to say, he never came back, and I remember thinking to myself, hmmm, this might be the start of a legendary story...



N'VARRAWREN®
Unabunko Kwee Kunee Ulwan
SBRD0C
Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:09 pm
#1948

No new funny stories in a while.. Guess ts jus not that easy to laugh anymore



Colonel Emitt 'Doc' Brown (Starsider)
Master Smuggler | Master Pistoleer | Commando
Interplanetary Shipping Co. Located Crystal Hollow Dantooine (-6833, 4750)
Vendors Deal in Weapon, Droid, and 'Special Shipments'


/Target SOE; /CLAP

Eulbobo
Tue Sep 20, 2005 3:55 am
#1949

Login....
I am in my city's cantina (i am the mayor)

Time for me to train a little, in my civilian cloths (duster, sunguard) i go to the shuttleport.
There are a bunch of guys on speeders facing the terminals (just next to the shuttleport). Our city is imporved job market and you can have lvl 80ish missions, so it's kinda normal.

Then i see "xxx challenges you to a duel"
I turn back, use target command to find the guy.... He is there, on his swoop, looking at me...
Then "xxx invites you to join a group"

/me ponders
I decline
He invites me again

That's to much for me... I make a few meters away from him, grab my laser rifle....

Accept duel
KD
Startle shot
Placed shot on the swoop *kaboum*
Torso shot
endduel

I put my rifle back into my duster, and proceed to go take my shuttle...
He remains on the floor (stop spamming kd recovery !) and said something i don't want to reproduce here.

I removed mission terminals and banned the guy from the city, getting away with simple sentence : "never mess with an ex-smuggler mayor"

I guess i won't see him again for a while.



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RebMBH
Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:21 am
#1950

I have been reading this thread off and on for a while so I figured I would post a story here as well.


I just landed in cnet starport and start walking throught the starport to buy a shuttle ticket when I get a duel request, I turn around and see a guy in plain clothes, no guns no armor and I figured what the hell.


/accept duel

/advanced crit

/underhand

/headshot

/advanced crit


incap


at this point I am just about to end duel when I see a tell from the guy saying "**edit** I was just trying to see if you had my mission"


/deathblow






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