All Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
Puertoriqueno
Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:06 am
#1601
From my alt a long time ago.....before I left PVP.
Running along to Mos Espa to get missions for pistol XP, grinding MS,slicer 4 at the time
rudeguy: What does slicer mean?
me: It means I can slice weapons and armor to give them a performance boost, or slice open containers.
rudeguy: I know you can slice, do I look like a f**king idiot? I was asking you what slicer meant.
I ignore him and go on about my business, but forget to put him on ignore..
rudeguy: so, are you going to tell me what slicer means?
me: I already did.
rudeguy: oh, i get it. Sorry. can you slice a weapon for me?
I ignore him again.
rudeguy: hello?
me: sorry, no, i cant.
rudeguy: why not?
me: scroll up your chat window and figure it out for yourself.
rudeguy: ah, so you are a smart**s I see. I need a rifle sliced, I'll pay real good for a good slice.
me: not to me you wont. take your business elsewhere.
rudeguy: make me
(challenges duel)
I have BH 0044, so I use my exceptional Krayt (mindfire 200 dot) with/PU and eyeshot. He is incapped in less than 20 seconds. Turns out his armor was dead already and he didnt know it.
rudeguy: you ****** ****, you cheated you ******* ***** ***** ******** ****** ****, I'll ***** your ***** you ******* (and so on and so forth)
me: maybe you should have checked your armor before you dueled me. You still want that slice?
I did not DB him of course....Atilla the Hutt never DB'd as you old school PVPrs remember.
/addignore
dlc3007
Mon Feb 28, 2005 12:46 pm
#1602
I know this has happened to everyone, but it just wants to make me cry:
Customer: I may want to buy some Imperial FPs. How much?
Me: They're on sale right now for only 120cr/fp.
Customer: Ok.
Customer: So how much would 10k be?
[Me pounding my head into my desk at home]
We have GOT to do something about the state of education!
DragonSnack
Tue Mar 01, 2005 1:04 am
#1604
YOur correct about eductaion.
However; whenever I use my calculator for FP sales it always comes back with :
Go talk to a pilot.
dlc3007
Tue Mar 01, 2005 1:24 am
#1605
Ok... it gets better. I just had someone tell me to make sure my BF wasn't 999 b/c that would give lower slices and insisted that I use his 96% upgrade kits. 
I used his kits just to humor him and got three of the worst speed slices I've ever gotten. Then proceeded to slice his armor with my kits and hit everything between 27 and 34%.
At this point, I can definately state that I have found a patern to slicing: The more stupid theories someone has about slicing, the worse the slice will be. 
Avitu
Tue Mar 01, 2005 10:20 am
#1606
This is my favorite thread to read when I get a chance to be on the boards lately. 
Avitu
Thochkored
Tue Mar 01, 2005 6:08 pm
#1607
First night of the GCW publish, I'm standing next to a fellow Imp when I ask if he was going "Special Forces" at that very moment, two Rebs come from nowhere and beat him down(he was unbuffed and sporting a Master Merchant tag). I guess that answered my question. We had a good laugh when he came back from the cloner.
Llance
Wed Mar 02, 2005 6:31 am
#1608
Ha ha. Some funny stuff here, been a master smuggler for a few weeks. Quite a coicidence, I hadn't had a bad customer till the day I checked this forum out, I knew I had to add him to this hehe! A person who was accepted into an ally guild bumped into me and showed me his new armour! He asked me if I could slice it. Problem was he had no money and as I felt nice I thought I'd slice it for him...
Me: Cool armour
Person: yeh can u slice my helmet?
Me:Sure
Person:Im broke at the moment blah blah blah...
Me:Sure no problem
Person:I want encumberance
Me:It's all random I'm afraid mate
Person:YesI no, I'm just hoping for a encumberance
(I was thinking he was ok for the time being)
Me:Good, as long as you know I have no power over the outcome
Me:Base Effectivness 20%
Person:What? You completely *bleep*ed my armour!
Me:Hey it's random
Person:YehI know
(This is when I started thinkin this person was brain dead)
Me:Well Im sorry I couldn't get you what you wanted
Person:Im a vet you know?
Me:What?
Person:I've been playing since 2003
Me
rite thats nice
rite thats nicePerson:I was a smuggler once
Meh ok
h ok Person:Took me 2 days to master slicing
Mek...
k...Person:80% slices almost everytime
Me
thinking to myself) Liar
thinking to myself) Liar(Now I know that this person just think he knows it all)
Me rite very nice
rite very nice(Still no thanks for the free slice)
Me: anyway please don't complain about the slice, its not like I charged you either
Person: I know and I woulnd't pay if you did!!!
(Person runs away)
Thats it. I'm never slicing YOUR gear again. Not unless you pay a damn lot for it!
rogue_eight
Wed Mar 02, 2005 6:44 am
#1609
Best conversation I've had in ages. I was so knotted laughing at the bloke that I couldn't even get annoyed – especially as I was having a dual conversation in my guild chat about the whole thing.
Anyhoo. Master Rebel Colonel (all tags up), I was on leave at Bestine shuttle port after seeing if I could pick up my Museum painting.
Up wanders a Mon Cal in almost full stormie armour...
Stormie: Hey there can you do me a favour?
Me: Depends what it is...
Stormie: I have 2 locked containers.
Me: You'd be better to get a Novice to do it for you. They need the xp and they'd love you.
Stormie: But I can't find any novices.
Me: Well they're usually full of junk and I'd have to charge to open them, which wouldn't make it worth your while.
Stormie: Probably not, I only have 3k in the bank.
Me: Yeah, well I charge 7k a slice, so you'd be right.
Stormie: So can you slice my VK for free?
At this point I spit my beer over the table...
Me: You a comedian?
Stormie: Just this time as a favour.
Me: So you want me to help arm the opposition better for free!
Stormie: I'm not going to be an imp forever, I just like the armour.
Me: Well you certainly have the shiny wite suit working for ya.
Stormie: So how much you charge for a slice?
I'm desperately wondering where he left his brain...
Me: As I said. 7k
Stomie: I'll give you 3 and some brandy with 16 sips left. That's a great deal!
Me: I have brandy coming out of my ears. Cold hard cash is this Smuggler's best friend.
Stormie proceeds to offer me everything bar the kitchen sink to slice his VK.
Me: I suggest to read my bio (it says that arguing the price just makes it go up)
Stormie: So what can I offer you to slice my stuff?
Me: 7k
Stormie: But I've got some real nice stuff that you can sell to make the cash.
Excuse my blinding logic here, but I couldn't resist:
Me: So why don't you sell it and give me the cash?
Stormie: Well, duh, you see anyone here?
Me: It's called the bazaar.
Stormie: The bazaar here sucks
Me: Well, that's what you get for being in an imp city...
Stormie finally admits defeat and slinks away.
And that's why the Imps can never win: not firing on all synapses.
Add this to the fact that since the GCW update I've made about 3 mil selling faction, I'm a happy camper...
Anyhoo. Master Rebel Colonel (all tags up), I was on leave at Bestine shuttle port after seeing if I could pick up my Museum painting.
Up wanders a Mon Cal in almost full stormie armour...
Stormie: Hey there can you do me a favour?
Me: Depends what it is...
Stormie: I have 2 locked containers.
Me: You'd be better to get a Novice to do it for you. They need the xp and they'd love you.
Stormie: But I can't find any novices.
Me: Well they're usually full of junk and I'd have to charge to open them, which wouldn't make it worth your while.
Stormie: Probably not, I only have 3k in the bank.
Me: Yeah, well I charge 7k a slice, so you'd be right.
Stormie: So can you slice my VK for free?
At this point I spit my beer over the table...
Me: You a comedian?
Stormie: Just this time as a favour.
Me: So you want me to help arm the opposition better for free!
Stormie: I'm not going to be an imp forever, I just like the armour.
Me: Well you certainly have the shiny wite suit working for ya.
Stormie: So how much you charge for a slice?
I'm desperately wondering where he left his brain...
Me: As I said. 7k
Stomie: I'll give you 3 and some brandy with 16 sips left. That's a great deal!
Me: I have brandy coming out of my ears. Cold hard cash is this Smuggler's best friend.
Stormie proceeds to offer me everything bar the kitchen sink to slice his VK.
Me: I suggest to read my bio (it says that arguing the price just makes it go up)
Stormie: So what can I offer you to slice my stuff?
Me: 7k
Stormie: But I've got some real nice stuff that you can sell to make the cash.
Excuse my blinding logic here, but I couldn't resist:
Me: So why don't you sell it and give me the cash?
Stormie: Well, duh, you see anyone here?
Me: It's called the bazaar.
Stormie: The bazaar here sucks
Me: Well, that's what you get for being in an imp city...
Stormie finally admits defeat and slinks away.
And that's why the Imps can never win: not firing on all synapses.
Add this to the fact that since the GCW update I've made about 3 mil selling faction, I'm a happy camper...
CaptianBananaHammock
Thu Mar 03, 2005 3:05 am
#1610
Hmm only have two stories.
I was sitting in the Cantina, getting the rest of my slicing tree, basically slicing locked containers. I had met alot of nice people and was talking to a few people about what faction to join. There was basically 1 really nice rebel and 1 really nice Imp there telling me the benefits and such of being either faction. Some french guy and some random noob star dissing on me for not being Imp. The conversation is a little like this.
French Imp Dude: Random French, and some engrish, most I get out of it is that Imps are better then Rebels.
Imp Noob: Your dumb doude, Imps a way cool we get force lightning when we get Sith.
Cool Rebel: Err, so do the Rebel Jedi.
Cool Imp: Yeah there isn't a difference..
French Imp Dude: Random French, somehow dissing me in general.
Imp Noob: Yeah, I can't believe your a Rebel, and a smuggler I hope you get searched all the time.
Me: Im not a rebel or a Imp I was just talking to see what each side had to offer.
French Imp Dude: Have no Idea what he said at this point
Imp Noob: Only noobs join Rebels, And Smugglers suck in pvp.
Cool Rebel: Don't you have small kittens to abuse somewhere?
Cool Imp tell me/ Dude please don't listen to him he's a moron.
Me: I didn't become a smuggler to pvp just thought i'd be a fun class.
Imp Noob: Duel me *edit*
me:*sigh*
Now at this point I was getting fed up, Now by no means am I good at pvp, Infact I was pretty noob in my stats. I didn't really have any armor on bar the Wookiee Cerimonial. He was wearing ubese. My stats had me for novice rifleman, novice pistoleer, Master Marksman, and 0104 Smuggler. I had been talking to these guys about stats and such, and the Cool Imp was a Rifleman/CM and had a spare t21. So I stall the Imp noob Telling him i don't really want to duel and cancel about 2 times, finally The Cool Imp trades me his t21. At this point I would also like to state that I had been playing for about 5 weeks, and never knew about showing your Different Titles, So I was still a Novice Marksman.
Me: Fine..
*canape,brandy*
*spam headshot*
1 minute later dude is incapped. He actually tried to run away instead of fight me up close..
Imp Noob: Thats not fair you used his rifle, Your a *edit* (to the cool imp) you shouldn't be an imp.
Cool Imp: Darth Vader killed Imps and he was as Imp as they come. I'm just trying to get a head start.
Cool Rebel: I feel that.
Another story, not Smuggler though but I think they feel some of the stress equally is Doctor. I was a master doctor and Had just buffed our entire Party. Had to rebuff people that died on our hunt, res people, cure wounds the works. We had all got owned by some nightsisters and were healing at the cantina.
Rich Noob: I need a buff.
(it so happens I'm the only master doc, and I forgot to take my flag down.)
Rich Noob: Dude I need you to buff me.
(I was getting a drink in the kitchen so my friend decides to step in)
Rich Noob tell/ Hey buff me please I'll pay
Rich Noob tell/please buff me.
(tells I recieved when I got back to my computer.)
Rich noob: Wow your from china! that's so cool. You must be really smart
>tip recieved 50000 Credits.
My friend tell/ Dude just play along and remember to ^_^ at the end of the buff.
(I proceed to buff him and he leaves)
Me: Dude what was up with that..
Friend: I told him you only spoke Cantonese and Mandarin Chinese.
Me: Cool.
A fool and his money are soon parted.
I was sitting in the Cantina, getting the rest of my slicing tree, basically slicing locked containers. I had met alot of nice people and was talking to a few people about what faction to join. There was basically 1 really nice rebel and 1 really nice Imp there telling me the benefits and such of being either faction. Some french guy and some random noob star dissing on me for not being Imp. The conversation is a little like this.
French Imp Dude: Random French, and some engrish, most I get out of it is that Imps are better then Rebels.
Imp Noob: Your dumb doude, Imps a way cool we get force lightning when we get Sith.
Cool Rebel: Err, so do the Rebel Jedi.
Cool Imp: Yeah there isn't a difference..
French Imp Dude: Random French, somehow dissing me in general.
Imp Noob: Yeah, I can't believe your a Rebel, and a smuggler I hope you get searched all the time.
Me: Im not a rebel or a Imp I was just talking to see what each side had to offer.
French Imp Dude: Have no Idea what he said at this point
Imp Noob: Only noobs join Rebels, And Smugglers suck in pvp.
Cool Rebel: Don't you have small kittens to abuse somewhere?
Cool Imp tell me/ Dude please don't listen to him he's a moron.
Me: I didn't become a smuggler to pvp just thought i'd be a fun class.
Imp Noob: Duel me *edit*
me:*sigh*
Now at this point I was getting fed up, Now by no means am I good at pvp, Infact I was pretty noob in my stats. I didn't really have any armor on bar the Wookiee Cerimonial. He was wearing ubese. My stats had me for novice rifleman, novice pistoleer, Master Marksman, and 0104 Smuggler. I had been talking to these guys about stats and such, and the Cool Imp was a Rifleman/CM and had a spare t21. So I stall the Imp noob Telling him i don't really want to duel and cancel about 2 times, finally The Cool Imp trades me his t21. At this point I would also like to state that I had been playing for about 5 weeks, and never knew about showing your Different Titles, So I was still a Novice Marksman.
Me: Fine..
*canape,brandy*
*spam headshot*
1 minute later dude is incapped. He actually tried to run away instead of fight me up close..
Imp Noob: Thats not fair you used his rifle, Your a *edit* (to the cool imp) you shouldn't be an imp.
Cool Imp: Darth Vader killed Imps and he was as Imp as they come. I'm just trying to get a head start.
Cool Rebel: I feel that.
Another story, not Smuggler though but I think they feel some of the stress equally is Doctor. I was a master doctor and Had just buffed our entire Party. Had to rebuff people that died on our hunt, res people, cure wounds the works. We had all got owned by some nightsisters and were healing at the cantina.
Rich Noob: I need a buff.
(it so happens I'm the only master doc, and I forgot to take my flag down.)
Rich Noob: Dude I need you to buff me.
(I was getting a drink in the kitchen so my friend decides to step in)
Rich Noob tell/ Hey buff me please I'll pay
Rich Noob tell/please buff me.
(tells I recieved when I got back to my computer.)
Rich noob: Wow your from china! that's so cool. You must be really smart
>tip recieved 50000 Credits.
My friend tell/ Dude just play along and remember to ^_^ at the end of the buff.
(I proceed to buff him and he leaves)
Me: Dude what was up with that..
Friend: I told him you only spoke Cantonese and Mandarin Chinese.
Me: Cool.
A fool and his money are soon parted.
Message Edited by CaptianBananaHammock on 03-03-2005 02:07 AM
Llance
Sat Mar 05, 2005 4:31 pm
#1611
Haha. Captain Banana that first one made me laugh! haha. Good Stuff
Shokrone
Sun Mar 06, 2005 11:19 pm
#1612
I have a story, I've been smuggler for only a little while. It's more strange than funny:
I have my novice smuggler title up, I had slicing 1, and am getting healed in the cantina.
somedude(in a /tell): hey you
me:/r yes?
somedude: I sell you 66 locked containers
me: wow, that's a lot. sure. how much?
somedude: 200k
me: okay, where can I meet you?
somedude: at my house, I am hunting now, but I'll be there soon
I have been waiting forever and it is very late at night. I have been talking to him in tells for quite awhile and he keeps telling me 10 more minutes. I ask if he'd be online tommorow, he says yes and I add him to my friends list. The next morning, he is in coronet and finally able to give them to me. He had a small house filled up with containers, and added me to the admin list so I could pick them all up.
I know it wasn't really funny, but it got me through most of slicing, and I just found the guy to be a wierdo.
I have my novice smuggler title up, I had slicing 1, and am getting healed in the cantina.
somedude(in a /tell): hey you
me:/r yes?
somedude: I sell you 66 locked containers
me: wow, that's a lot. sure. how much?
somedude: 200k
me: okay, where can I meet you?
somedude: at my house, I am hunting now, but I'll be there soon
I have been waiting forever and it is very late at night. I have been talking to him in tells for quite awhile and he keeps telling me 10 more minutes. I ask if he'd be online tommorow, he says yes and I add him to my friends list. The next morning, he is in coronet and finally able to give them to me. He had a small house filled up with containers, and added me to the admin list so I could pick them all up.
I know it wasn't really funny, but it got me through most of slicing, and I just found the guy to be a wierdo.