All Archive

Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler

Eulbobo
Mon Feb 21, 2005 4:16 am
#1587

A few days ago

Coming back to good side customer - Hello... i think i'll need your services to gain imperial trust...
Me - mmm, maybe i could show the recruiter how the empire deserves to have you as an ally... for a price...
Cbtgsc (acronym rulez ^^) - name a price... I could do anuthing for the empire
Me - *thinking : it's a friend's alt, i'm not going to take all his money* it would be [random amount] credits for what you need.
cbtgsc - fine for me.... where can i meet you?

We set an appointement....
I wait for him, with all faction points needed... speaking with a few friends...
Then he came..

cbtgsc - Hello soldier... /salute... I got something for you
Me - the empire always give great reward to who supports it
cbtgsc /tips you [random amount] Credits
You delegate 5000 imperial faction points to cbtgsc
Me - thank you very much. I'll keep that with me a while before i deliver it.
cbtgsc - you're welcome !

Keep speaking with a few friends in face of the shuttleport... Rp speech, long.... really long...

20 minuts after, i realize that my cbtgsc is still standing next to me (i ran away for a while and came back, he was still there)
After a few other minuts, all my friends around are leaving...

I'm standing alone, with my cbtgsc next to me

cbtgsc - whenever you're ready for the deal, tell me... i'm not in a hurry
Me - errr, what deal? We already had a deal
*5 seconds pause*

cbtgsc - (errr, me stupid didn't saw you already gave me the faction points.....)
/confort cbtgsc

I gave him 200 more faction points he was missing to declare as an imperial ^^


Only the 3rd one that was waiting to go to the recruiter and get the FP 200 per 200



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Those bunkers we set in the desert to start a new part of our history will finally be our graveyard

RIP AdS-SWG
SithVarden
Tue Feb 22, 2005 12:26 am
#1588

Here's one that happened to me today. When I saw this guy's name walking up to me I almost put him on ignore just on principle, but I held back, then as I saw that he was wearing no clothing...my finger began to itch for the good ole ignore but I decided to see where this went.


Here's the setting I am dressed up a bit spiffy in a black and red desert command jacket with black pants and red strip and dress shoes along with my collector's edition shades (this is important to note to understand the story) and I am standing around Coronet seeing if anyone needs my services. Well this naked fat sullustan walks up carrying a CDEF pistol and I think oh no here we go...


(Guy with Stupid name or henceforth GWSN): "Hey Batman."

GWSN: "I mean Robin"

Me: "...."

GWSN: "How's Gotham City?"

Me: " Got no idea what you are talking about mate"

GWSN: "You know where you are from, full of super heroes. Big city"

Me: "Did you want something? "

GWSN: " I just wanted to know if Gotham City was free of crime "

Me: "Do you normally walk around the city naked?"

GWSN: "Just when I am horny. You know how it is."

Me: "Right..."

Me: "Look do you need something sliced?"

GWSN: "Ummm.. Yeah my pistol."

Me: "Do you have 5000 credits?"

GWSN: "No I only have 3000"

Me: "Then why the H*LL are you talking to me?"

GWSN: " Because you look like Robin."

Me: "Ah.."

GWSN: " Do you know where Taco Bell is in this game? I am broke and need a job."

Me: "Try the other side of the Starport"

GWSN: "Allright but if it's not there I am coming back"

Me: "Yeah yeah... bugger off."

GWSN: Dumba$$ F***ing brit



GWSN hops in his X31 speeder and drives off.


/addignore GWSN


On a side note I am not a brit I am actually an American from Florida.

Cendatinea
Tue Feb 22, 2005 7:26 am
#1589

Ok, this is my first time posting in this particularforum, please bear with me.



I was on as my entertaining self on Sunday evening in Theed cantina, having myself a good ole time singing, playin music, just in general partying. Another ent, who is also a jedi, groups up and sets her droid to spamming effects. We asked her to shut it off. She wouldn't. I finally made the comment in group that "real entertainers don't need flashy lights to put on a good show" cause I was feeling particularly crabby at this point. She stomps off in a huff.


Fast forward to the next day, I am sitting with a WS friend of mine whom I do slicing work for (I'm on my Acquisition Specialist). We're just chatting about various things when he gets real quiet. Then he tells me that a BH friend of his just killed a jedi in a cantina. I asked, was it [name]? and he confirmed that it was. I told him about the previous night and he starts laughing like crazy.


Turns out the BH is the one who just got a trio of new weapons I sliced, one of which had a particularly nice damage range slice. The BH wanted to know if I wanted a message delivered. I couldn't decide what to say, I was /rofl too much. What goes around really comes around.



Lady Derianadai Hirunmil
"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands."
Passing out tackle hugs to the whole galaxy!


SmugglinZane
Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:20 am
#1590






Cendatinea wrote:

Ok, this is my first time posting in this particularforum, please bear with me.



I was on as my entertaining self on Sunday evening in Theed cantina, having myself a good ole time singing, playin music, just in general partying. Another ent, who is also a jedi, groups up and sets her droid to spamming effects. We asked her to shut it off. She wouldn't. I finally made the comment in group that "real entertainers don't need flashy lights to put on a good show" cause I was feeling particularly crabby at this point. She stomps off in a huff.


Fast forward to the next day, I am sitting with a WS friend of mine whom I do slicing work for (I'm on my Acquisition Specialist). We're just chatting about various things when he gets real quiet. Then he tells me that a BH friend of his just killed a jedi in a cantina. I asked, was it [name]? and he confirmed that it was. I told him about the previous night and he starts laughing like crazy.


Turns out the BH is the one who just got a trio of new weapons I sliced, one of which had a particularly nice damage range slice. The BH wanted to know if I wanted a message delivered. I couldn't decide what to say, I was /rofl too much. What goes around really comes around.






Justice is served.



"Jedi claims of being "broken" are like saying "But my TV isn't widescreen! It's broken! My TV can't show high-def pictures in 1080i, it can only do 720i! It's broken!" Meanwhile, crafters are saying "We'd really like to have a TV that's larger than 12" and gets more than 4 channels and doesn't constantly lose vertical control", and entertainers are saying "Can we get some color instead of this B&W piece of junk?" And smugglers? We're listening to radio programs of "The Shadow" and "The Abbot and Costello Comedy Hour" and hearing FDR's Fireside Chats. We don't even HAVE a damn TV, much less a broken one or a "broken" one by Jedi standards. I'd LOVE to be as "broken" as they are." - The Legendary Solo4114
Alpha_Bits
Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:30 am
#1591


So there I was... in Mos Eisley...


When I realized that a major GCW patch had gone through (which is probably why the Rebels surrounding Hotel Coronet were all pissed at me), I thought I'd check out the recruiter and see what opened up for me. As I was standing there and marveling at the inflated prices, a guy in full composite the same color as mine (green) walks up.


Lord Striker (or something close): Whoa, a smuggler!


Me: Yup.


Striker: Could you sell me some faction points?


Me: How many do you need? (I'm only an lt... but I'd like to help someone out if I can)


Striker: I'm working on getting stormtrooper armor!


Me: Cool, how many FP do you need?


Striker: I don't have much money.


Me: Well, it's 100cr/fp (Is this guy really a poor, lost noob? I was feeling generous)


Striker: I still need the bracers, gloves, boots (etc, etc...)


Me: yeah, okay... how many fp do you need?


Striker: They all cost the same... 3000 points.


Striker: I only have 50K creds


Me: Um... well, that's not really going to get you very much.


Striker: Maybe we can work something out.


Me: (work something out???) okay....


Striker: You could have the armor I'm wearing.


Me: (imagining how beat up the armor probably is) Um... I already have a full set of pretty nice composite... have you done the Imperial theme park? That's how I got the breastplate.


Striker: No.


Me: (pause)


Me: (Smuggler mind trick: 'you want to do the imp theme park...')


Striker: The stormtrooper armor is pretty awesome.


Me: Yeah. (buys an officer's hat from the recruiter and puts it on) Listen, I don't even have enough money to GIVE you the fp if I wanted to (true statement, I only had a quarter of a mil).


Striker: Come on, I only need 3000!


Me: (gives 100K to recruiter, buys officer's boots, puts them on) Dude, I don't have the money for it.


Striker: Okay... how about this...


Me: (sighs... looks at clock... I have to go to work sometime today) yeah?


Striker: You'll get a TON of money.


Me: (Somehow I doubt that)


Striker: We can go and get some Imperial missions....


Me: ?


Striker: And then pretty soon together we'll have 3000 points.


Me: ....


Striker: And you can keep all the money.


Me: That would be great (actually, I'd help someone get faction... but I don't think I'd give him my points...) except I have to get to work and I don't have time for that. Tell you what, if you see me online this weekend, shoot me a message and I'll help you out.


Striker: How about this...


Striker: I'll tell you what I need...


Me: yeah?


Striker: And then when you get the 3000, you can get it to me.


Me: Um.


Striker: C'mon!


Me: Bracers, gloves, boots... right?


Striker: Yeah, so send me an e-mail when you have it all okay?


Me: Okay, man. See you around! /salute


Me: /log


Yeah, buddy... I'll go grind out all of your FP for you. I'm thinking 'no'. But now I need to get the whole officer's uniform to put on if he sees me. Better yet would be to get all the 'trooper armor and put it on while he's talking to me. "Sorry, man... I just don't have the fp to spare...."




========
Gith - Professional Scoundrel

"If I kill one of you, will the other two shut up?"

"It don't matter. None of this matters."
- Carl
LaughingWolf
Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:43 am
#1592



Alpha_Bits wrote:

So there I was... in Mos Eisley...

When I realized that a major GCW patch had gone through (which is probably why the Rebels surrounding Hotel Coronet were all pissed at me), I thought I'd check out the recruiter and see what opened up for me. As I was standing there and marveling at the inflated prices, a guy in full composite the same color as mine (green) walks up.

Lord Striker (or something close): Whoa, a smuggler!

Me: Yup.

Striker: Could you sell me some faction points?

Me: How many do you need? (I'm only an lt... but I'd like to help someone out if I can)

Striker: I'm working on getting stormtrooper armor!

Me: Cool, how many FP do you need?

Striker: I don't have much money.

Me: Well, it's 100cr/fp (Is this guy really a poor, lost noob? I was feeling generous)

Striker: I still need the bracers, gloves, boots (etc, etc...)

Me: yeah, okay... how many fp do you need?

Striker: They all cost the same... 3000 points.

Striker: I only have 50K creds

Me: Um... well, that's not really going to get you very much.

Striker: Maybe we can work something out.

Me: (work something out???) okay....

Striker: You could have the armor I'm wearing.

Me: (imagining how beat up the armor probably is) Um... I already have a full set of pretty nice composite... have you done the Imperial theme park? That's how I got the breastplate.

Striker: No.

Me: (pause)

Me: (Smuggler mind trick: 'you want to do the imp theme park...')

Striker: The stormtrooper armor is pretty awesome.

Me: Yeah. (buys an officer's hat from the recruiter and puts it on) Listen, I don't even have enough money to GIVE you the fp if I wanted to (true statement, I only had a quarter of a mil).

Striker: Come on, I only need 3000!

Me: (gives 100K to recruiter, buys officer's boots, puts them on) Dude, I don't have the money for it.

Striker: Okay... how about this...

Me: (sighs... looks at clock... I have to go to work sometime today) yeah?

Striker: You'll get a TON of money.

Me: (Somehow I doubt that)

Striker: We can go and get some Imperial missions....

Me: ?

Striker: And then pretty soon together we'll have 3000 points.

Me: ....

Striker: And you can keep all the money.

Me: That would be great (actually, I'd help someone get faction... but I don't think I'd give him my points...) except I have to get to work and I don't have time for that. Tell you what, if you see me online this weekend, shoot me a message and I'll help you out.

Striker: How about this...

Striker: I'll tell you what I need...

Me: yeah?

Striker: And then when you get the 3000, you can get it to me.

Me: Um.

Striker: C'mon!

Me: Bracers, gloves, boots... right?

Striker: Yeah, so send me an e-mail when you have it all okay?

Me: Okay, man. See you around! /salute

Me: /log

Yeah, buddy... I'll go grind out all of your FP for you. I'm thinking 'no'. But now I need to get the whole officer's uniform to put on if he sees me. Better yet would be to get all the 'trooper armor and put it on while he's talking to me. "Sorry, man... I just don't have the fp to spare...."






Oh yeah, just so he can say "Hey, you used the FPs you were earning to buy MY stuff to buy yourself armor? Thief!"



LaffyWolf'ya - Master Smuggler / Master Pistoleer / Rebel Colonel

Fresh out of witty signatures, sorry.
citizen_of_the_republic
Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:20 am
#1593


Not so much funny as stupid...but here it goes (not really smuggler related...just stupid person related)

made a new character..remaking an old char I had a year or so ago because well, I was looking through old screenshots and missed him. I was hunting outside of bestine getting up low skills, no buffs, no armor, heck only 15k creds to the chars name so no way I could afford it anyways


**names NOT witheld, stupidity should not be protected**



Ni'o :what a noob

Me : ? **thinking he mistelled or somthing**

Ni'o : noob noob noob u got it

think ing yeah playing since september 2003..I'm definitly a noob

Me: Far from it

Ni'o :u got no profeshion badges or eney other bages so nob nob nob

Me: I started this char yesterday

Me: Ive been playing the game for more than a year and a half

Ni'o : u lie big time

Me: Whatever, I don't care what you think you know

Ni'o : noob has no armor ha ha ha

Me: Whatever, wait 10 minutes and check the forum and this conversation will be posted so other people can point and laugh at you..and when you do you';; see my registration date is september 2003


did get anymore tells from him..had a minor crash issue when I tried to minimize

but seriously..do people really think that you only play one char? or when they make a new char they come with armor and money?



Once a smuggler...always a smuggler...yes..even if you don't get to smuggle...
Mought1971
Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:39 am
#1594

Just his name alone made me laugh at him. I'm sure it was Ni'o because Neo, Ne'o, Neeo, and Nio were already taken. And probably Morfeus, M'orpheus, Morpheeus, etc...
citizen_of_the_republic
Fri Feb 25, 2005 12:12 pm
#1595

That was my first thought too....why I ever reply to things like thatis beyone me.. I am asking to be punished...wait..aren't we all? we are smugglers after all



Once a smuggler...always a smuggler...yes..even if you don't get to smuggle...
LaughingWolf
Fri Feb 25, 2005 12:22 pm
#1596

And even if you had been new, what's the thing about hassling and laughing at new players anyway?

*shake head*



LaffyWolf'ya - Master Smuggler / Master Pistoleer / Rebel Colonel

Fresh out of witty signatures, sorry.
outlanderBZ
Fri Feb 25, 2005 12:52 pm
#1597






OrianaM wrote:

So, I get the following through a series of e-mails. Not, the names have not been changed, I refuse to protect the stupid wannabe con artist...


Vasquez: How high of a rank Imperial ar you?


Me: Colonel


Vasquez: I'll give you 800k for 10k Imperial Faction.


Me: That's 600k below my normal price.


Vasquez: Yes, but I know as a Master Smuggler, you get faction for 80 credits per.


Me: That's true, but One: some faction gets lost in the transfer, and Two: As a Smuggler, I don't do anything for free.


Vasquez: Well I just thought you'd want to help out a fellow smuggler, I'll just go to my friend who sells to me for 75 per.


Me: Have a nice day.


Vasquez: Stupid imperial scum!



Now, I mean honestly did he really expect me to sell him faction at a loss? And if he has a friend willing to sell for 75 per why the hell come to me? Needless to say after his last reply he got /addignored





thats funny, i wonder why people even bother with me when their "friend" always has a better deal.




- I support the CURB, the Devs and the attempt to make SWG a better game! - You can too!
citizen_of_the_republic
Fri Feb 25, 2005 7:20 pm
#1598






citizen_of_the_republic wrote:


Not so much funny as stupid...but here it goes (not really smuggler related...just stupid person related)

made a new character..remaking an old char I had a year or so ago because well, I was looking through old screenshots and missed him. I was hunting outside of bestine getting up low skills, no buffs, no armor, heck only 15k creds to the chars name so no way I could afford it anyways


**names NOT witheld, stupidity should not be protected**



Ni'o :what a noob

Me : ? **thinking he mistelled or somthing**

Ni'o : noob noob noob u got it

think ing yeah playing since september 2003..I'm definitly a noob

Me: Far from it

Ni'o :u got no profeshion badges or eney other bages so nob nob nob

Me: I started this char yesterday

Me: Ive been playing the game for more than a year and a half

Ni'o : u lie big time

Me: Whatever, I don't care what you think you know

Ni'o : noob has no armor ha ha ha

Me: Whatever, wait 10 minutes and check the forum and this conversation will be posted so other people can point and laugh at you..and when you do you';; see my registration date is september 2003


did get anymore tells from him..had a minor crash issue when I tried to minimize

but seriously..do people really think that you only play one char? or when they make a new char they come with armor and money?






Oh yeah..minor sidenote, WHen I did get back in game I directed him to this thread..and the only thing he said to me was "o shut up already" so I think I ruined his fun lol





Once a smuggler...always a smuggler...yes..even if you don't get to smuggle...
Chewnada
Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:57 pm
#1599

This new patch could be a major pain for all of us.


Tonight while in Doaba getting ready to go home. I have a guy from here on known as STUPID gets off the shuttle.


Stupid: Hey how much is your faction?

Me: I sell for 150 on this planet 120 on the cheapest planet. (I know it doesn't matter but they don't.)

Stupid: Okay I want to buy faction.

Me: Umm your imperial. I am Rebel. Do you want Rebel faction. If so how much do you want?

Stupid: Yes I need faction.


This goes on for about 5 minutes. By this time I soo wish the tef's where back so I could just shoot him and go on. Finally we agree on going to another planet and that he wants 8k faction not just the standard 5.2 to become rebel. So it will be 1 million. (I love when they can not do math.)


So we go to the "cheap" planet. He follows me to a friendly reb base and stands just out of agro range. (Now remember he's imp and in combatant mode.)


Me: I will need 500k up front to garauntee that you aren't tryin to stiff me. I will then buy your faction and return for the other half. AT which time you can resign from the Empire and join the Rebellion at your leisure.

Stupid: Okay I need faction.

Me: pay me 500k and I will get your faction.


Stupid pays 500k. I go get 8k of faction (we are winning) and return.


Stupid: Man this would be so much easier if you were an imp.

Me: Why then I couldn't buy you Rebel faction.

Stupid: Huh I want Imperial faction I am Imperial.

Me: Umm dude I am Rebel hence me buying rebel faction with your 500k.

Stupid: Oh sorry I misunderstood. I am sorry.

Me: Well I already spent your money and I have none on me to even think of refunding. (Actually the truth I had just bought faction for bases earlier.)

Stupid: Umm can you sell that faction for me and pay me back.

Me: Sure I will see what I can do.

Stupid: Cool I will add you to my friends list.


He rides away I make 8k of faction and go home to forget he exists.


Why oh why can they not listen. I told him time and again the whole trip that I was rebel he was imp that I could only buy him rebel faction.


So sad.





Grauowwwwen Wookie
Master Smuggler (Some folks got no sense of humor.)
Chilastra Galaxy
Unknown Location
Page 123 of 153