Smuggler Archive

i'm in serious need of some baked and brewed goods.

my lox and creamcheese bagel sandwich will have to hold me over till later though.

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Saarek wrote:

Ok.

Its now my mission to brighten your days.

JOKE:

2 blondes are walking down a side walk. One looks down to left by the curb and sees a makeup compact sitting there on the ground.

She picks it up. Opens it. Looks at the mirror inside and says, "Oh my god. This girl looks sooo familliar."

The 2nd blonde grabs the compact from her and says, "You dumbass, its me."

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ROFL

I'm working today on about two hours sleep, only joke I can think of half the people that hear it think it's stupid.

What's Brown and sticky?

... a stick

Dunno why I think that's funny

See what I mean? Hard to be funny today. The only jokes I'm coming up with are all clean and long..

(and the profanity filter won't even let me use a WT F? in there)

LOL sticky.

I just told that joke to a co-woker - he looked at me like I was retarded.

This is new??? I gotused to that long ago.

Forgot the joke..... and, in this case, I'll be recycling a previous punchline:

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A Stick.

Message Edited by dlc3007 on 07-15-2005 11:11 AM

What's the difference between an epileptic oyster, and a hooker with diarrhea?

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Eavik wrote:
What's the difference between an epileptic oyster, and a hooker with diarrhea?

You have to shuck the oyster between fits.

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I don't get it.

Really, I dont know what "shucking" is.

just cause i was a smuggler for the longest time ( till cu)

here is my joke;

there was a bad storm a man went to his roof to escape rising water and prayed "god save me"

first a neighbor in boat came by, the man waved him off saying "i'm ok"

2nd a big national guard truck came by the man waved them off saying "i'm ok"

3rd a helicopter dropped a rope and yelled down to him to "climb up" man responded "i'm ok"

as the waters rose and the inevidable happened man appeared at foot of god and said

"i prayed so hard god why didn't you save me?

Response, i sent a boat, a truck, and helicopter, and you ignored it all !!

next time the boat comes "remember to get on and GO'...................

disclaimer ; my heart goes out to this community, and those in and around Houston area that are experiancing flooding now and those along texas coast conserned about Emiliy be safe all

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.



A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."