Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
MartynDianoga
Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:31 am
#1106
ok, i can be kinda mean sometimes, but i thought this was funny. I'm at the bottom of the Squill cave finishing the hero of tatt quest
(cheer for me!! i found the dam pirates!!), anyway i'm standing next to the hermit and this guy runs in surrounded by like 8 squills screaming for help.........................
guy: help! dude help me
me: lol
guy: im a newb
me: lol
i start feeling a little guilty, i whip out the vk's and kill the squills.
guy: im unbuffed
me: your stupid
guy: can you help me get out?
hes opposite faction
me: lol
i start running out and hes following me, /burst run, im thinking "keep up now", im being mobbed so i drag them up to the top, 2 squills near the entrance, i leave them there kill the ones chasing me, guy catches up.
guy: thanks for helping me dude.
me: im not helping you
guy: but im following you out
me: theres 2 left, you want me to help?
guy: please
swith to rogue tag
me: 75k please (whip up AFK tag)
mean, funny or smuggler, i dont know, but i enjoyed it.
Shadwe
Fri Aug 20, 2004 5:38 pm
#1108
THECAUSE wrote:
Ok, so this is not really about slicing, just about how stupid the CSRs are. So i sent a ticket in, telling them my xp was locked, even tho i was not at my cap and only half way thru bounty pistols 2. This is the reply i got.
This is CSR (name) at your service. We're very sorry about the problem you are having with waypoints. This issue is currently known and cannot be fixed at the moment.
..........................
I spent about ten minutes staring at this post, trying to relise how a person, even a 4 year old, could be this stupid. I simply could not wrap my head around it. I swear to go they hire retards to be CSRs. No, even retards are smarter than this. Retarded Apes. Regular apes throw thier fieces much more majestically than these dip**edit**s. So, I had to wait for a week until the servers reset and I am still bitter about it.
It is a know bug to fix it SHIFT + ESC ( or the hotkey that looks like *) now click on disconnect then reconnect it will fix the stuck exp counter. NOTE do not exit game.It will also show the correct exp (exp you got when it was stuck).
First time I had it was told how to fix it left returned exp bar went green had more exp then needed to level.
Hartz
Fri Aug 20, 2004 8:03 pm
#1109
One guy just about brought me to the edge about slicing containers. I was at fort tusken gaining pistol XP, and this guy asked if I could slice his containers for him. I was in the middle of fighting with only about 20 mins left on my buff so I wanted to keep fighting as long as I could. He was like a master pikeman and had already several times stolen my kills, forcing me to get less XP and lose looting rights. It told him I was busy at the moment but he was so persistant. He said "I'm your shadow until you slice" and proceded to follow me and steal all my kills, so I couldn't gain XP or loot. He was being such a little SOB, I just sliced them for him and his little friend.
scall01
Fri Aug 20, 2004 9:03 pm
#1110
Long story short, I had about an hour long argument about whether or not slicing is random. =|
WranglerDekar
Sat Aug 21, 2004 8:14 am
#1111
OH MY i have to chime in here. After reading these for MANY a good hour or 2...or 3...who knows time flies, i decided i have to spill some juicy stories in a multi post series! 
9 months of being a master smugg, so i have some good ones! haha
9 months of being a master smugg, so i have some good ones! hahaGuy: Hey i have 3 weapons i need sliced. Going BH and need good dmg slices for pesky jedi!
Me: It's all random but we can hope for dmg i suppose.
Guy: ok fair enough. how much
Me: i slice based on % ranges from 2-10k, 10k being perfect. avg is 6k *i'm on Bloodfin where the prices are SKY HIGH*
Guy: ok I'll take an 8k slice
Me: no see the slices are random and can be from around 12%-35% on a weapon adn my prices are set accordingly
Guy: So let me get this straight i can't purchase an 8k slice, only 6k ones.
Me: its RANDOM and has a chance to range from 2-10k
This goes on for a while and finally I tell him to just find another smuggler if he wont trade and deal with me. He continues
Guy: I'll just report you then if you wont slice for me for the prices i want
Me: feel free seein as i dont HAVE to slice for anyone if i dont want to
Guy: /report me See how you like that
nearly 2 hrs later
Guy: you A$$ you reported me for reporting you
Me: no i didn't
Guy: well the CS guys just told me to calm down and not report people for no reason or they will punish me for wasting time and stuff you A$$!
Me: /addignore Guy
WranglerDekar
Sat Aug 21, 2004 8:22 am
#1112
Part 2 of my adventures in Coronet...this time w/ an overt who'm i RARELY do business with
Guy2: Hey can you slice for me I'll pay you 2k per weapon. I have 5 so you'll make alot!
Me: /sends macro'd price list taht ranges from 2-10k per weapon/armor piece
Guy2: You cheat! that's so expensive!
Me: well thats business. Breaking the law ain't cheap man
Guy2: /shout THIS SMUGG HERE IS A CHEATER!
random guy : how do you cheat?
Me: I dont cheat he thinks i'm cheating him for charging 2-10k per slice
random guy: oh i see. that's just a drop in the bucket for somethign permanent when a 12k buff only lasts 3 hrs. I'll tell him
Guy2: omfg! you're ganging up on me! this is harassment! i'm reporting you!
Me: feel free seein as i havne't done anything wrong here
Guy2: /shout NOBODY GET THIGNS SLICED FROM THIS SMUGGLER HE IS A RIPPER!
*shots fired and Guy2 drops to the ground* 3 PC stormies barrel outta the starport and DB him.
Stormy1: *to the DB'd Guy2* That'll teach you to harass people
Stormy2: Are you alright citizen?
Me: Thanks he was gettign annoying.
WranglerDekar
Sat Aug 21, 2004 8:27 am
#1113
Post 3 in the multi series posts of my adventures in Coronet...this time totally in spatial
Guy3: I have soem weapons I need done. Can you hook me up?
Me: u know it. I have the means if you have the cash.
Guy3: What is your price?
Me: /sends macro'd pricing guide
Guy3: I think I'll just have my friend do it for free
Me: then why did you bother to ask me in teh first place
Guy3: because you're a master smuggler and i need a job done
Me: and if your friend can do it for free then why did you ask me
Guy3: don't mess with me man. You dont want none of this!
Me: ummm..ok have a nice day
Guy3: /challenges me to a duel
Me: /accept /lowblow /lastditch /healthshot1 /feigndeath
Guy3: You ass! you hurt me adn now you died on me!
Me: /end duel /stand
Guy3: I'M BLEEDING IM' BLEEDING
Me: have a nice day
I walk away as he stands there w/ barely a health bar left, laughing evilly. mwhahahahaha
WranglerDekar
Sat Aug 21, 2004 8:34 am
#1114
Finally part 4 of the Smuggler series of some of my more humorous stories...this time in the Geonosian Labs....
I walk in...as usual ppl are lined up in teh first room *this is b4 they scaled it back a bit* I help clear out a path and make my way down. I"m a nearly a TKM and buot halfway up the pistoleer tree as well as i work my way up the well known trifectum tree.
I make my way past teh gas and surprising there were no kwi's or droids at teh bottom for me eto beat on. anyways, i get past them adn then outtat teh blue this guy come charging fromteh other direction and stops by me likei'm gonna help him w/ these 2 kwi's on his arse.
Guy4: haha you better help or we both die.
Me: you might die but i wont /feigndeath
Guy4: you A$$ you can't do that to me! Agghh!!!!
5 mins rage on as he is fighting a losign battle against 2 kwi's with his carbine. He eventually got one nearly dead and the other one bleeding. Then he died
Guy4: you A$$ hat! you just caused me to lose my armor!
Me: I dont like people who do ur lil kwi stunt...oh yeah..i'm nearly a TKM and i just finished them off for you...you can come back if you like! 
Guy4: I'll get you for this! you should pay me like 400k for that suit i just lost!
Me: I tell you what I'll slice your next suit for 50k instead of my normal 65k
Guy4: Get lost
Me: have a good one.
That darn feign death is teh best skill in this entire game hahaha
Rhu
Sun Aug 22, 2004 2:55 am
#1115
So, I walk into the Mos Eisley cantina late one night and there's this dancer there.
Whatta looker! Huge green eyes bulging out of her head, a sickly combination of a pastelly red and the most offensive shade of blue imaginable. She was wearing a transluscent and skimpy outfit that showed off her ample flesh. And when I say ample flesh, I mean her gut. This mon cal musta weighted 450 lbs. She starts trying to grind up against me, and I step away, comment quietly to another entertainer that I'm not sure if I want to laugh at the audacity, or blast her.
The dancer persists in keeping close to me... Why me, in the whole crowd in the cantina?Was it my new boots? Does she have a thing forrodians with faded moss green skin and spiny sideburns?I look at her, grumble, and say out loud, "I think I finally have a clue as to what it would look like if a Hutt took up ballet. Thank the Force, or the gods of luck, or whatever, that this is the closest I'll ever come to seeing something like that."
I get a few laughs from other patrons and entertainers, while she gasps and says something along the lines of, "How dare you! You don't see me going to where you do your business and insulting your character!"
I tell her, "Hey, I've got no character. That's why I'm insulting." I give her 1000 credits and tell her, "Take this, and buy something, ANYTHING,to cover yourself up with."
I walk out of the cantina feeling rather pleased with myself.
ShrekECPI
Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:11 am
#1116
Hey, Ih8stupidppl
______________________________________________________________________________________________
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"Lag is the game-killer, the little death that brings total n00bization. I will buy a T1. I will permit the lag to pass through my machine. And when it has gone I will turn the modem to see its path. Where the lag has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Online Warrior's Mantra Against Lag
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Dune rocks man
Nice take on that quote.
Fear is the mind killer........cant remember he rest
Nicolas_Frost
Sun Aug 22, 2004 12:24 pm
#1117
I'm glad there's others out there using Feign Death creatively.
Reminds me of the last time I was in the Genosian Lab. My buffs had about, two minutes fourty five seconds left, so I burst run to get the hell outta dodge. I eventually get this train running behind me, and I'm trying to remember the way out, while shouting, "LOOK OUT! THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND ME!!", eventually they various creatures after me got my HAM down low, so I fiegned, they left me alone, and aggro'd on a guy about twenty meters behind me. He starts fighting all the things. I eventually get back up to half HAM, and start running again. This pulls a couple back off of him, but he dies shortly after ward, I made it just outside the cave entrance, and had to feign again, when he starts telling me I was griefing a train of aggro MOBs on him. Then proceedes to tell me I owe him money for armor repairs, weapon repairs, new buffs, or else he'll /report me. HA HA HA! I tell him where he can send his reports, and that I only feigned to keep from dieing. Then he tells me I'm reported, to which I reply "And you're /ignored."
I haven't heard from any CSRs.
Reminds me of the last time I was in the Genosian Lab. My buffs had about, two minutes fourty five seconds left, so I burst run to get the hell outta dodge. I eventually get this train running behind me, and I'm trying to remember the way out, while shouting, "LOOK OUT! THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND ME!!", eventually they various creatures after me got my HAM down low, so I fiegned, they left me alone, and aggro'd on a guy about twenty meters behind me. He starts fighting all the things. I eventually get back up to half HAM, and start running again. This pulls a couple back off of him, but he dies shortly after ward, I made it just outside the cave entrance, and had to feign again, when he starts telling me I was griefing a train of aggro MOBs on him. Then proceedes to tell me I owe him money for armor repairs, weapon repairs, new buffs, or else he'll /report me. HA HA HA! I tell him where he can send his reports, and that I only feigned to keep from dieing. Then he tells me I'm reported, to which I reply "And you're /ignored."
I haven't heard from any CSRs.
Crash752
Mon Aug 23, 2004 12:49 am
#1118
Well as of late I've been getting a lot of ppl that end up not wanting to pay or can't pay. This just one little example I had....
Coronet Starport;
GUY: Hey smuggler, I want some slices on these guns. Damage only please!!
ME: (oh great not again) /sigh Well kid, I can slice those for 'ya but it is all random.
GUY: yeah ok whatever, just slice for damage than.
ME: (ah **edit**) Ok, I'll slice, but I can't promise you damage.
GUY: ......ok, how much for 6 guns?
ME: I charge 6k a slice for guns, so 36k.
GUY: Great thats cheap!!!
(we trade, I slice all but 3 for damage! and added plus! and nothing below 27%!!)
ME: Ok here ya' go (I read off all the slices)
GUY: Kick a$$, how much?
ME: Remember 6k a slice, total of 36k.
GUY:Screwyou man, How will I buy buffs now!!!I'll give you 10k for all.
ME: Sorry pal, but youagreed to the price, and you getting buffsis not my problem, 36kplease
GUY: I'm not paying, I need buffs too.
ME: Sorry get the buffs later
GUY: You'll be sorry...
(challanges me to a duel)
/lowblow, /lastditch, /lastditch, /stoppingshot, /deathblow; with no buffs he went out easy.
ME: Whos sorry now... your items will be on the local bazzar for 6k each. Oh and next time don't try and cheat a smuggler outa' his money, its not wise
GUY: /tell thats illegal, you'll be banned for that, slices are only worth what the customer will pay, not buy how much you want.
ME: /ignore
Needless to say I felt good after killing the guy. And even better that no more than 5 min later he bought all the guns and gave me a tipfor an extra 10k. But I have had to go through situations like this all too often as of late.
Smuggler tip of the day; Don't cheat a smuggler outa' his money, its not wise. You may end up dead
Message Edited by Crash752 on 08-22-2004 12:50 PM