Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
N_Dak_Moonrider
Wed Aug 04, 2004 5:37 am
#1054
Here I go again.
Dantooine Mining Outpost. I'm just about to head out hunting with some of my buddies when I get a /tell from some random guy (rg)
RG: Can you slice?
Me: Read my bio.
RG: K. Where are you?
Me: By the cantina getting buffed.
RG: K. How much do you charge?
Me: I told you, read my bio.
RG: I did. How much is it?
Me: /sigh; 7k per slice.
RG: K. I have 2 pistols. Can you slice them?
Me: YES. I'm a MASTER SMUGGLER.
-RG wants to trade with you-
-Trade-
I get 2 average scatter pistols.
RG: I want speed.
Me: Didn't you say you read my bio?
RG: I did read it.
Me: Then why did you say you want speed?
RG: What? Oh. Haha. Slicing gods.
Me: Don't mock them.
-slice- 28% speed
-slice- 31% speed
Me: You got REALLY lucky. Maybe they didn't hear you through all the spam.
RG: Heh heh. Thanks. How much?
Me: ...7k per slice...so 14k.
RG: Oh yeah. /tip 14000
Me: ARG! re-read my bio!!
RG: (after reading my bit about no normal /tips) Oh. Sorry.
Me: Uh huh.
-Trade-
Me: /addignore RG
Second story not as long, not quite funny, just annoying.
Guy asks me to slice. I say sure, read my bio. He says "alright, that's pretty cheap." (wow...ok)
-trade-
-trade cancelled-
Me: Try again.
-trade-
-trade cancelled-
Guy: Must be the lag.
-trade-
-2 items drop in. I click accept-
-trade cancelled-
This goes on for a good 15 minutes before I finally get his gear. I slice and get a 34% damage slice on his DXR6a rifle and a 39% encumberance slice on his armor chest plate.
-trade-
-trade cancelled-
Me and Him: UGH!
Me: Let's try and get out of the outpost..
Guy: Sure.
-500 meters from outpost-
-trade-
-items go in, trade completed-
Guy: awesome slices. thanks. i can probably sell that rifle for an easy million.
Me: wow. come back anytime (thinkin this guy is gonna be rich and money is goooood...)
ALWAYS take off your Master Smuggler tag in the Dant MO. It's not good. Slicing + Lag = -trade cancelled-
Dantooine Mining Outpost. I'm just about to head out hunting with some of my buddies when I get a /tell from some random guy (rg)
RG: Can you slice?
Me: Read my bio.
RG: K. Where are you?
Me: By the cantina getting buffed.
RG: K. How much do you charge?
Me: I told you, read my bio.
RG: I did. How much is it?
Me: /sigh; 7k per slice.
RG: K. I have 2 pistols. Can you slice them?
Me: YES. I'm a MASTER SMUGGLER.
-RG wants to trade with you-
-Trade-
I get 2 average scatter pistols.
RG: I want speed.
Me: Didn't you say you read my bio?
RG: I did read it.
Me: Then why did you say you want speed?
RG: What? Oh. Haha. Slicing gods.
Me: Don't mock them.
-slice- 28% speed
-slice- 31% speed
Me: You got REALLY lucky. Maybe they didn't hear you through all the spam.
RG: Heh heh. Thanks. How much?
Me: ...7k per slice...so 14k.
RG: Oh yeah. /tip 14000
Me: ARG! re-read my bio!!
RG: (after reading my bit about no normal /tips) Oh. Sorry.
Me: Uh huh.
-Trade-
Me: /addignore RG
Second story not as long, not quite funny, just annoying.
Guy asks me to slice. I say sure, read my bio. He says "alright, that's pretty cheap." (wow...ok)
-trade-
-trade cancelled-
Me: Try again.
-trade-
-trade cancelled-
Guy: Must be the lag.
-trade-
-2 items drop in. I click accept-
-trade cancelled-
This goes on for a good 15 minutes before I finally get his gear. I slice and get a 34% damage slice on his DXR6a rifle and a 39% encumberance slice on his armor chest plate.
-trade-
-trade cancelled-
Me and Him: UGH!
Me: Let's try and get out of the outpost..
Guy: Sure.
-500 meters from outpost-
-trade-
-items go in, trade completed-
Guy: awesome slices. thanks. i can probably sell that rifle for an easy million.
Me: wow. come back anytime (thinkin this guy is gonna be rich and money is goooood...)
ALWAYS take off your Master Smuggler tag in the Dant MO. It's not good. Slicing + Lag = -trade cancelled-
Landorien
Wed Aug 04, 2004 7:10 am
#1055
Hey, this is awesome material people, and I would like to thank every single one of you that managed to make comic relief from your profession.
I've just finished doing the Frontiersman tree on ranger, and this thread has been all that kept me from losing my sanity. I only got to page 25 or so, so maybe I'll browse it again if I ever decide to do droid engineer or the likes.
May the newbies you've all met, never get the notion to hire a ranger!
I've just finished doing the Frontiersman tree on ranger, and this thread has been all that kept me from losing my sanity. I only got to page 25 or so, so maybe I'll browse it again if I ever decide to do droid engineer or the likes.
May the newbies you've all met, never get the notion to hire a ranger!
ProVOne
Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:27 pm
#1056
so i'm out in theed doing my usually spam for 4k per item and i'm sorta busy. the third guy in line waits patiently and then he steps up to the plate with a full set of comp armor (9 pieces). i tell him that i usually charge 4k per item but i'll do the whole set for 30k and he agrees. my slices were a mix of encom. and effec. and were all above 20% even a 36% in there. the guy takes his armor and pays up and i say come back and see me and he shouts " i doubt it, you were a bit overpriced".
Fat_Morbo
Wed Aug 04, 2004 3:21 pm
#1057
I'm still just a slicer, not master yet, but I almost always wear my slicer title because it's one of my only sources of income other than finding a crystal or two off a tusken now and then.
Suprisingly I had my first "I know someone who'll do it cheaper." just yesterday, went something like this.
Me: *slicing full set of amor for someguy, saying my slice percentages out loud to him as I go along*
Customer: "Hey, can you slice a weapon for me.
Me: "Sure, as soon as I'm done with this guys armor."
Customer: "How much?"
Me: "I charge 4k per slice."
Customer: "Forget it, I'm not paying that much for the percents you're getting." (He's listening to the percents I'm stating out loud for the other guys armor)
*At this point I'm extremely offended/pissed by his arrogance. Slicing is so random, I'm doing armor, he wants a weapon, and he knew the results I'm getting so why's he wasting my time?? But I politely tell him:*
Me: "Fine, feel free to track down a Master and they'll charge you more for the same random results"
Customer: "I know 5 Master Smugglers on RIGHT NOW who will all slice for 2k."
Me: *Checks player search, I'm the ONLY smuggler of any level in Coronet at the time* "Then why are you wasting my damn time trying to haggle with a Slicer, when you've got such great deals with a Master?!"
At that point he stopped responding to tells but it woulda been interesting if he'd kept it up, seeing as he was BSing and I was the only option in town at the time.
Roshigoth
Wed Aug 04, 2004 7:31 pm
#1058
While waiting in Tyrena starport for a shuttle to Theed...
Wookiee: Hi
Me: Hi
Wookiee: Will you slice my chestpiece for free?
Me: Umm... No.
Wookiee: Come on! I just got it.
Me: Sorry, I only slice free for guildies. 5k for everyone else.
Nice Guy: If you like, I'll pay for the slice for him.
Me: Okay. That works fine.
-Get tipped-
-Trade-
I go to slice... and it doesn't pop up. I check the armor, and sure enough.. it's already sliced. First time that's happened to me.
-Trade back-
Me: It was already sliced.
Wookiee: Oh. Thanks anyway.
-Tip Nice Guy back-
Wookiee: Hi
Me: Hi
Wookiee: Will you slice my chestpiece for free?
Me: Umm... No.
Wookiee: Come on! I just got it.
Me: Sorry, I only slice free for guildies. 5k for everyone else.
Nice Guy: If you like, I'll pay for the slice for him.
Me: Okay. That works fine.
-Get tipped-
-Trade-
I go to slice... and it doesn't pop up. I check the armor, and sure enough.. it's already sliced. First time that's happened to me.
-Trade back-
Me: It was already sliced.
Wookiee: Oh. Thanks anyway.
-Tip Nice Guy back-
N_Dak_Moonrider
Thu Aug 05, 2004 4:31 am
#1059
The players on Ahazi have got to be the dumbest ever...
Entering Theed from my home city of Thalia. As soon as I hit the border I get a tell.
Rodian: Can you slice my armor?
Me: Sure, what type?
Rodian: Ubeese
Me: I charge 50k for a set of ubese.
Rodian: You're a F***ing psycho!
Me: Hey, you probably paid double for that armor, plus 10k for any buffs you get while using it.
Rodian: I don't use buffs.
Me: Congratulations.
Rodian: My whole guild is laughing at you right now.
Me: Good. I hope they enjoy. And I hope you enjoy my ignore list.
/addignore rodian
I get to the starport and I see him standing there. Novice Brawler clothes, the novice stone axe thing, and NO guild listed by his name. I /examine him. No title. No badges. No guild.
Wonder if he has so many imaginary friends that they started an imaginary guild.
Entering Theed from my home city of Thalia. As soon as I hit the border I get a tell.
Rodian: Can you slice my armor?
Me: Sure, what type?
Rodian: Ubeese
Me: I charge 50k for a set of ubese.
Rodian: You're a F***ing psycho!
Me: Hey, you probably paid double for that armor, plus 10k for any buffs you get while using it.
Rodian: I don't use buffs.
Me: Congratulations.
Rodian: My whole guild is laughing at you right now.
Me: Good. I hope they enjoy. And I hope you enjoy my ignore list.
/addignore rodian
I get to the starport and I see him standing there. Novice Brawler clothes, the novice stone axe thing, and NO guild listed by his name. I /examine him. No title. No badges. No guild.
Wonder if he has so many imaginary friends that they started an imaginary guild.
Satek_Bane
Thu Aug 05, 2004 5:13 pm
#1060
Shady84wrote:
I was grinding Smuggler (great diverse prof. wish i could keep it =( ) and I was on Slicing II. I had run out of locked containers andstarted slicing the Coronet starport mission terminal to the left of the front door of the starport. Between those 2 minutes downtime i was crafting spices to be productive. Randomguy comes over to the terminals (wearing noob marksman clothes and sportin a cdef rifle after a closer look). I came back from gettin something from the bank 100m from there and come back to the terminals to see that randomguy did /duel on me. OK...so I thought he might have wanted to examine me (heck I don't know why I was just wearin a specops duster and some black boots, pants, and shirt.)
Me: Did you challenge by mistake ?
randomguy: No.
....It was an hour before server reset, i was just grindin so i had no buffs and after targetting him i saw he had none either....so im thinkin of blastin this fool but I decide not to.
Me: I'm sorry I'm not dueling now. Trying to level smuggler.
randomguy: How do I ride a bike?
Me: You have to buy one.
randomguy: Where do I buy a bike?
Me: At vendors. I don't have any exact waypoints, you'll just have to look around for the spam in coronet to see a waypoint to a vehicle vendor.
randomguy: Where do I find the rebel information officer?
(Here I'm sittin thinkin of playin with this guy...still keepin in mind that he didnt /endduel from earlier *evilsmirk*)
Me: I'm the rebel information officer.
(randomguy was neutral or rebel since he wasnt purple to me. I'm a member of a well known imperial guild on Ahazi with about 150-160 members).
randomguy: cool
(I slice a terminal and do some more crafting)
randomguy: What do I do now?
(1 minute passes)
randomguy: You're not the rebel information officer?
Me: I am.
Well I am sort of a rebelophobe so sometimes I do whatever I can to not help rebs out. This guy was obviously a wannabe reb so I might aswell cripple his start heh. Ok so i swtich to my dx2, Ive got about a 6th wounds on all my HAM. I /duel the guy and blast him in 5-10 seconds.
I leave him laying there on the floor and DB him.
Hehe...not nice I know but I had fun. *evilsmirks*
dude that is totally cool...its just fun to be evil. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Signed,
Sa'tek Bane
Tynvyr
Thu Aug 05, 2004 11:09 pm
#1061
Just a little one from me. I got into another Single-Hunt-Group on a remote Planet in a Playercity with Job Market in the title. I allways slice those Terminals to get more credits. I never choose a single area to hunt in like "I go SW" because of that. So I just returned to the Terminal and passedguyone of the group as he finishes the Camp. Still in range I get half of his credits. That is where the fun parts started in the GroupChat.
guyone: Thief!
guytwo: What?
guyone: This Smuggler juststole half of my credits!
(Yes I told them about my Terminalslicing and me beeing a Smuggler. I my eyes a great feature to get more credits.)
He gets a little angry about this. None of the other can understand why. I don't know what got into him so I answer after a few flames.
me: Hello? ... I'm a smuggler! What did you expect? Cookies?
Which brings up the great laugh for everybody, but not guyone. He keeps silent. Two missions later I meet him at the Terminal. Ready to decorate him with /addignore I sliced the Terminal.
guyone in spatial: Can you slice my weapon?
Boy now you get the thief: Charging twice my normal amount for slicing with a wicked grin as emote I really didn't want towork for him.He still started a Trade. I slice him a medium damageslice to his weapon and trade back just to got struck by more Credits than I charged. This way I stole the second half of his reward. 
O_Shua
Thu Aug 05, 2004 11:26 pm
#1062
This happened to me just yesterday.
I was solo hunting with a group of nearly 20 people on Dantooine. One of them was trying to get slicing 1 so i tell him i have 3 locked containers i can part with for 15k total. I tell him to meet at city near the MO.
Once we get there we trade and he slices one: he fails with a clamp and starts cursing.
When i ask him if he read what wire to cut he was dumbfounded. I tried to explain that when you use a clamp it tells you what to cut, he interrupted and said that was only for FANs. 
Now I am laughing to myself and do a /pointup and in game i tell him "Do you see my Title, dude?" my title was Master Smuggler. He says "Yeah, so?" I then tell him "Im a Master Smuggler, I think i know how to slice something, just a hunch..." He lols and apologizes which at that point i /emote hands you a copy of "Slicing for Dumbies". And I procede to run my missions. 
Maybe not too funny but i got a good chuckle from it. (btw: First post on this thread, I love reading this) 
Asiche
Sun Aug 08, 2004 9:08 am
#1063
I had a great experience while in Nym's Stronghold in Lok.
I was stading around waiting for the shuttle to come up when a member of one of the stormtrooper guilds on Bria came up to me.
: can you do some work for me?me: What do you have in mind
: a bit of "modification" on some of my weapons....if you get me..knowing the guild was roleplaying (something i wish i could more of honestly) i decided to play a long and give this guy a bit of a hard time...cause you know, slicing is illiegal in todays empire.
me: i thought that was frowned opon by the empire
it is.... but a credit is a credit is it not?me: true, but i wouldn't want to get a loyal officer in trouble would i?
*chuckle * and i wouldn't want to have to send troops to your home and find your supplies... I think we can work out somethingi give in and sliced his weapons. After the whole conversation, he was suprised to actually find a roleplaying smuggler. And i was quite happy to play the part of a smuggler for once.
Anjae
Sun Aug 08, 2004 10:33 am
#1064
This is too irresitable at this point...I've been casually reading up through page 5 on my screen, decided to skip to the end and come to find out there's over FOURTY PAGES STILL LEFT TO READ !!!! This thread is just too funny And so I spose it only right that I add my two credits worth
This thread is just too funny And so I spose it only right that I add my two credits worth Sorry, Not a slice story...Just a feign fable
-----
Game celebrated it's one year aniversary, I've been playing since the start, so I'm used to dealing with the veteran crowd on the few occations that I decide to be social So being slightly out of touch with the fact that newbies are joining the game on a daily basis, I got a very blatant reminder of it one day when I was logging in.......
So being slightly out of touch with the fact that newbies are joining the game on a daily basis, I got a very blatant reminder of it one day when I was logging in............
Location--Player city "Mos Krayt" - just outside the Krayt Graveyard
As I'm logging in I notice the "Join Window" on my screen
Guy#1 - "Hey, can you help us out?"
(I figure why not)
(click to join group)
Me -"Sure"
{ /mood playful }
(group window pops in and I see 5 names I've never seen before in my life)
(start auto-following Guy#1 as he starts running toward the rest of the group)
Me - [playfully] "So what's up?"
(2 minutes pass as I'm still following Guy#1,No response as of yet...so I'm casually examining the players in the group....no armor, no armor, no armor, bone armor,chitin.....hmmm......)
Me - [playfully] "So what do you need help with?"
Guy #1 - "we need help hunting dragons"
{ /stopfollow }
{ /mood worried }
(Finally waking up to the fact thatthe group isheading towards the graveyard....oh joy)
Guy #2 - "Ya we just saw one over here and we wanna kill it!"
(I start running again to catch up with the group....mostly out of dumb curiosity, and find Guy #1, #2, #3 getting their butts kicked by a couple rogue banthas)
Me -[worried] "So...exactly how long have you guys been playing?"
(Between /groupchat,spatial, and /tells....it turns out #1,#2 and #3 were only 2-3 days old.....and #4 and #5had been playing for a few weeks...long enough to realize that A) yes...we are noobs, B) Krayts = DEATH, and C) lets go watch #1,2,and 3 get their butts kicked
Me - [worried] "um..ya know... If we're (i say "we"-I mean "them") having this much trouble with banthas...do you really think we're("them") ready to take on the most uber-creature in the game?"
(add in my few words about buffs and badges, manage to get silence and a question mark from one of 'em....and then the inevitable......two of em incap...#1 heals #2 and #1 incaps...#2 is up and heals #3 ....#2 gets incaped again as #3 is standing up....andquickly rejoins the "cloud watchers"....now the banthas are hungry for me...oh great....
{ /feign }
.....i'mbetween templates, no armor,can't do crap without a buff....
.....with a herd of angry banthas standing on my head)
Guy #2 - /groupchat "CRAP!!"
(#4 and #5 come into range and start dealing with the bantha population on my chest, so I stand up, start spamming /unarmedspin1,cross my fingers, and manage to take out the herd before I kill whats left of my HAM.....neither #4 or #5 have any medic skills, so I get to impress the group with my 50 point heals)
Guy #1 - "wow that sucked!"
Guy #3 - "You think the dragon is still there?"
Guy #2 - "Ya...let's go!"
{ /sigh }
{ /disband }
Message Edited by Anjae on 11-17-2004 08:00 AM
Kythden
Mon Aug 09, 2004 5:53 pm
#1065
OK up front all spelling mistakes are mine, I suck at english, but chalenge any one to a math duel 
Ok so I have been working om smuggler for a coulpe weeks, and am trying to finish up slicing 4, Guildy of mine is a master smuggler and another master WS so you can imagine the route I am taking it, slice knife, destroy knife, rinse repeat.
Well I get tired of deleting them and slice a lot till my inventory is almost full, and I am not looking forward to destroying them over and over, so then I get an idea.
I hope the suttle to dant and start spaming:
For a limited time get your Free weapons, already sliced, Luck of draw you get the first one in the inventory , tade/sell amongst your selfs for what you want!
Now I figure most will smell a rat, but as they say a sucker is born every min.
I go threw the expected tells of "got any of this" or got any of that" and after I respam each time they ask me, finaly some one comes up to trade with me.
so I open the window and drop the knife in, fully expectint this person to close it without trading, BUT SHE TOOK IT! I could hardly breath from laughing so hard, after a few seconds she says
"Lovely"...
"Time to go find a gullable noob" and then she heads for the star port.
I ended up only giving away three. But the funy thing, is two where to the same guy, asked me if he could try again lol!
N_Dak_Moonrider
Mon Aug 09, 2004 6:05 pm
#1066
Heh heh . . . excellent Kythden. But you could've made it more Smuggler-esque had you charged 100 credits per play.