Smuggler Archive

Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler

Isakotl
Wed Jul 28, 2004 10:57 pm
#1028








sorry about that not sure what happened.


I'm in bestine dueling a guildmate for fun, a tell comes in requesting a slice. Being in combat, I don't notice it. I drop my guild buddy. /yay for the smuggler.


wannabe imp: do you sell fp?

me: sure

wannabe: can i have some, i need 200?

slicee (in tell) u gonna slice my weapon???

(me thinking: only 200?) sure 200 fp is 30k

me (tell to slicee) excuse me?

wannabe: how much?

slicee: sorry

me 30k for 200fp

slicee: well can you it's a vibro axe

me: i can, 7k a slice

wannabe: ok

slicee: is it randome cause i want speed (ok I got a good one here)

wannbe sponsor: you getting some wannabe?

me: yes it's random

sponsor: can you go lower?

wannabe: 200 fp isn't a lot

sponsor: how much does it cost you to buy fp?

me: 20k is my cost 10k is my profit

sponsor: so we pay you what it costs you

me: no, you pay me what I charge or no sale

wannabe: so what 10k?

me: 30k

sponsor: he wants 10k to give it to you

slicee: 7k?

me: that's what i charge

slicee: that'swhat i charge

slicee: let me run a mission

me: ok

me: wannabe, 30k for 200 fp, yes or no?

wannabe: can you go lower, if not i'll buy anyways cause i need it

me: i won't go lower is the difference ( i'm frustrated by this point)

wannabe: ok 30k it is

me: ok i'll need to declare, tip me 1st ( i'm not declaring unless i get the cash)

wannabe: now? (tips)

me: ok, one sec (declare) (delegate)

me: there you go

wannabe: thanks me: thank you


At this point i still need healing form the fight so i head to cantina. while in there my slicee returns

slicee (in tell) i'm ready

me: ok meet me in front of cantina. ( I step outside and get shot and killed before i know what is happening)

Me (in guild chat) i need rez in front of cantina

slicee: how good are your slices?

me: i'm a little dead now, one min

sponsor: where's whats his name?

my guildmate returns and does a shout for me; can any one rez?

sponsor spots my dead body and comes over: can you sell me some fp? ( the nerve of this guy)

me still in guildchat: hey can you tell this guy i'm busy being dead


a doc comes over, rez's me

slicee: where are you?

sponsor: how much for 5000 fp?

(now i didn't know that after rez you can't talk so i'm answering everyone)

i pop up and say: thanks doc, over here, 750k

wannabe: ur so unfair

me: who?

wannabe: u

me (pissed): find someone cheaper then

sponsor: wannabe, let the man do his job

guildee: that's actually a good price

me (still pissed): i just died because i declared for you! ( get shot again and fiegn) guildee takes off after the guy

slicee: where are you?

sponsor: and you are going to die some more

wannabe: i gtg

sponsor: we have a mission

wannabe i gtg now

sponsor: me to but i'm getting fp 1st

guildee returns: you can get up now he's dead

i pop up: ok just checking

guildee: lol

me: ok, sponsor, is 750k a fair price? (i'm dedicated to my job)

sponsor: can you go no lower? (he's still looking for a bargin)

me: actually i'd like to stop dying so i'm leaving soon

( slicee show up) still sending tells: hi ( i send a trade request)

sponsor: that means?

me: no lower on price and i'm leaving after i slice this guys stuff

slicee: do i have to give you my weapon to slice?

me: yes (we trade)

sponsor: first do you have any imp banners for sale

me: no i don't (slice)

slicee: how long will it take?

me: speed 20% (trade back)

sponsor: ok 750k

slicee: it's slower

sponsor: do i pay you now, how long will it take?

me: one sec (turn to face slicee)

me: it's faster, the speed is lower, so it takes less time to use

slicee: it says 3.5 instead of 4.4

me: right you hit every 3.5 secs instead of every 4.4

slicee: seriously?

me and guildee at same time: yes

slicee: kool thanks (ok one idiot gone)

me: ok sponsor, to the recruiter

sponsor: can we do this tomorrow, i have to log

me: not sure if i'll be on tomorrow (read as: i want this done now)

sponsor: ok i'll try you tomorrow then, cya


totals for the day: 37k creds, 1 death, 1 feign, 3 idiots

I'm never putting up my smuggler tag again




Isakotl.... elder Jedi
Gunslingin Deladrones.... Commando
Rey Deladrones ....Bounty Hunter
Dark Warriors of Valor


DRWolfe
Thu Jul 29, 2004 10:04 am
#1029



Gaarotharr wrote:
hehe these are great my comp pfried and until i can figure out waht is wronn\g with it i cant play. this thread is the only thing cominng between me and the ill effects of galaxy-withdrawl syndrome...itis...neosis .. anyway you should expet to hear some stories from me in the near future (lord willin')


I feel your pain. The hard drive on my game machine completely died the other night. Luckily I have another machine to play on. It's much slower, but it's got a better graphics card. Hoping to have my main machine fixed soon, but it's gonna take awhile for the replacement part to come in.



Renn JeretuJoraan Stormwing
Elder SmuggleruElder Jedi
Smugglers' AllianceuArkon's Havoc Squadron
Eclipse - Dark Lotus Ninja

JTGAlpha
Thu Jul 29, 2004 7:10 pm
#1030

Goddamn. Isakotl. You get Smuggler of the year for that one.



Dayasi Vo'Boda CEO of SCUM PA.
Founders of Agrilatia in the Agrilat Swamps Of Corellia (Intrepid).
Taking Scum and Villainy to a new Level to Serve YOU.
Remember: SCUM does it dirty
Another Horseman of the Smuggling Apocolypse

Nicolas_Frost
Thu Jul 29, 2004 10:58 pm
#1031


Jakkal_Darkwind wrote:
me (only 2 in slicing in mos eisley aka newbtown) "slicing all weapons and armour for 2k, will guarantee slice but not a great one"
newb: "wats a slice"
(i explain what a slice is)
newb "so my gun will be ILLEGAL when you slice it"
me: well, yes to a certain extent
Newb: "well ok i'll let u slice it for the money but promise not to tell the devs ok!"
me (to selft) "bah wth i'll promise not to, he's new and the devs need SOME respect"
Me "yeah sure, ur secret is safe with me"
newb "ok
a day or 2 pass
newb " I F*KING HATE YOU!!!!!"
me "um....who is this? (i didnt rememebr his name)
newb "you sliced my gun and said you wouldnt tell anyone about it! and some stormies found me, YOU TOLD THE DEVS!!!!"
/addignore





I would've acted differently at the end.

"Ha! You think the devs listen to Smugglers?!"



Jaecob Maragi
Babelonian Militia Captain
Master Smuggler and Alliance Pilot
Captain of the LongShot(2)
THE Official Smuggler Forum Smartass!
The prices of my services are based on "tolerance". The more I have to tolerate you, the more you have to pay me.


Roshigoth
Fri Jul 30, 2004 12:04 am
#1032

Well... Today was the first day I actually wore my Master Smuggler title. Everything was quiet while I was hunting, right up until I was about to log off. Then someone asked me to slice his armor for him.

I wasn't not in any hurry, so I said sure. I told him my price (5k/slice) and he handed over his armor (except his chestpiece) and a shot of muon (maybe dropped it instead of his chestpiece?). Anyway, I started slicing, and he noticed he forgot the chest, so we traded that over. He was actually quite polite through this whole thing.

As for the slicing, I was amazed to get seven *good* (30+%) encumbrance slices in a row, followed by two reasonably good effectiveness slices. I was ready to trade back, and he said "oops, I've only got 20k". I'm in a good mood from high slices, and he was quite polite, so I decided instead of being a hardass (I don't really need the money), I just let it go for 20k.

I forgot to give back the muon, though. Oh well, I doubt he'll miss it.
Ywoski
Fri Jul 30, 2004 4:54 am
#1033

Who remembers the time when Player Cities came out and we had that /citywarn were it gave them 30 sec to leave or get shot at? here one smuggler story from me


I get a /tell from a guild mate saying he refered a customer to me for some armor slices, ok i goes i meet em in city, i get to city and there are 2 Overt Rebels there waiting (i'm covert imperial) i /tell my mate "hey you sent me 2 overt rebs" "oh" he goes "i suppose you can still get business from em", i roleplayed

You 2 may be rebels but i'm a Smuggler i do business with anyone, now for the trading side gonan need to use my vendor, so we goes inside the mall to trade using the vendor anyway to cut the whole thing short i sliced em put em back in vendor and they paid up everything was done

Ok, now the business is done i'ma given ya 30 seconds to get out of my sight or i start shootin' (/Citywarn) they pause for a sec and go "huh?" they see the message and begin walking out gradually into a run and i end up chasing em across the border with my pistol, lol



Ywoski - Smuggler, Imperial Pilot

Albatt - Sith
Gaarotharr
Fri Jul 30, 2004 8:23 am
#1034

lmao even though im rebel thast still pretty funny
so now taht i know what my computer problem is i can go get the parts today. w00t



HIC-A-DOO-LA!!
DRWolfe
Fri Jul 30, 2004 9:01 am
#1035



Gaarotharr wrote:
lmao even though im rebel thast still pretty funny
so now taht i know what my computer problem is i can go get the parts today. w00t


Good deal. My new hard drive is on the way as well.



Renn JeretuJoraan Stormwing
Elder SmuggleruElder Jedi
Smugglers' AllianceuArkon's Havoc Squadron
Eclipse - Dark Lotus Ninja

Gaarotharr
Sat Jul 31, 2004 12:04 am
#1036

w00t! cant wait to start smuggler if your on intrepid and need a container sliced pst me tommorow i should have it



HIC-A-DOO-LA!!
Waarangel
Sat Jul 31, 2004 8:30 pm
#1037

Perhaps I should be more involved in this forum. I have really enjoyed reading this stories. I have one of many I would like to share with you.


Me: Standing around in Theed cantina, having my BF healed, responding to emails and tellhell


Goon: Hey, I have been looking for you for days. Imagine seeing you here. Soandso said you are the best slicer around and I need a really good damage slice on this weapon.


Me: Sure, it's what I do


Goon: It's a legendary Geo Pistol. I need 35% damage please. I will pay well


Me: I am sorry, I can't control percent or type of damage


Goon: Oh. Well what happens if you get speed?


Me: Then your gun will be faster.


Goon: Oh. But I really want damage.


Me: I really want you to get damage too. Do you want me to slice it? I charge 200cr per slice.


Goon: Yeah, ok. Trade please <trade, then kneel in TK meditation>


Me: Kneel and pray please.


Goon: What?


Me: It helps if you pray to the gods of slicing. They are very fickle to the non-believer.


Goon: What the f*** are you on about? Just slice it.


Me: Language please. I am a lady after all. And please kneel. You may not care about their wrath, but I certainly don't need it.


<arguing for a few minutes>


Me: I would be happy to give your weapon back to you.


Goon: Fine, slice it. Just get damage. <kneels>


Me: I told you. It is random. Maybe you should pray really hard for damage.


Goon: I am not praying.


Me: Ok, suit yourself


<slices>


Me: 35% <lucky slice, yey for me!>


Goon: Awesome, how much damage is it now?


Me: 35% speed, dear, you didn't let me finish. I told you to pray.


Goon: Ah ****! That ******* sucks! You did that on purpose.


Me: I told you, it's random. Besides, I would be happy with speed on a weapon like this.


Goon: Speed sucks. I want damage. Speed is useless.


Me: I beg to differ. This is a serious gun now <note: 1.4 spd, 319 Legendary geo pistol>


Goon: I don't want speed. Want to buy the gun?


Me: I already have some fast guns. I don't need this.


Goon: Prove it


Me: ?


Goon: Duel me. Show me why speed is better


Me: ... well, if you insiste


<Goon challenges. I arm his legendary geo>


<1 panic shot (pre nerf), groinshot, and last ditch later>


Me: I told you speed was good. And yes, I will buy your weapon. How much you want for it?


Goon through tell: No way! That was awesome. That gun is amazing. Thank you.


<sigh>


105 seconds later as he regains consciousness.


Goon: You are amazing. I am going to send everyone I know to you.


<trade, pays, and tips me too, nice, misdirected fellow>


Me: Really, please, don't.


<walks away>



N'VARRAWREN®
Unabunko Kwee Kunee Ulwan
Erryc
Sun Aug 01, 2004 4:17 am
#1038

Mystery Idiot: *in tell* hey there, do you own Kraytian Pharmaceuticals?


Me: Sure do. How can I help you?


Mystery Idiot: I just bought a crate of neutron pixie from you. There's something wrong with it, and I want my money back.


Me: *perplexed* Something wrong with it? (at this point I'm thinking...did I mis-label something?)


Mystery Idiot: Yah. It sux. After like ten minutes, the buff wore off, my character started puking, and my stats went down. Your stuff doesn't work right.


Me: Um, it's a temporary buff, with a downer. Thats what spice does.


Mystery Idiot: No, its supposed to be permanent. The doc at Mining Outpost told me so. Give me my money back.


Me: /ignore Mystery Idiot





***Eyini Resresit***

Master Smuggler

The Black Widows

An Underworld Player Association

Sunrunner

Save your local smugglers, kill a jedi.
bhamtech
Sun Aug 01, 2004 5:51 am
#1039

Excellent.....................



Hobart the Human
Imperial Pilot Ace ~ Master Shipwright ~ Master Brawler ~ Teras Kasi Master
I speak only Alabama Redneck language
bhamtech
Sun Aug 01, 2004 8:08 am
#1040

Loved it, great..............................



Hobart the Human
Imperial Pilot Ace ~ Master Shipwright ~ Master Brawler ~ Teras Kasi Master
I speak only Alabama Redneck language
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