Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
Apeso
Mon Jun 21, 2004 9:55 am
#924
A long time ago, both me and my husband at the time were told by our holocrons to master smuggling. While he had already mastered it, I was still trying to climb up the slicing tree. So he bought over 50 locked containers off of some guy and made crates of clamps and laster knifes for me to use. We're sitting in our house and he teaches me how to slice things...
Johe: First, use a clamp and then choose a wire to cut. If you picked the right one, then cut the other wire.
Apeso: Mmmkay! *Begins to slice the locked containers, but isn't having very much luck* Didn't Alicc say that clamps give you 100% accuracy?
Johe: Yeah, but I think they're more like 60%.
I shrug and keep on slicing my merry way. About half way through the stack of locked containers I pause to actually read what was on the little slicing window.
Apeso: Umm... Johe. You forgot to mention the part where the clamps tell you exactly which wire to cut.
Johe: They do WHAT?!
Poor little bothan. Imagine all those clamps and locked containers he wasted.
Johe: First, use a clamp and then choose a wire to cut. If you picked the right one, then cut the other wire.
Apeso: Mmmkay! *Begins to slice the locked containers, but isn't having very much luck* Didn't Alicc say that clamps give you 100% accuracy?
Johe: Yeah, but I think they're more like 60%.
I shrug and keep on slicing my merry way. About half way through the stack of locked containers I pause to actually read what was on the little slicing window.
Apeso: Umm... Johe. You forgot to mention the part where the clamps tell you exactly which wire to cut.
Johe: They do WHAT?!
Poor little bothan. Imagine all those clamps and locked containers he wasted.
Geevo
Mon Jun 21, 2004 12:49 pm
#925
Today in Coronet I sliced for someone ... and they tipped me $100k ... I said "I think that you had a typo..." he said "no, that is what it was worth" ...
I advised him it was too much and gave him back $75k ... his response was 'that is what makes you the best'
People 'test' others in the most unusual ways.
SBRD0C
Mon Jun 21, 2004 7:25 pm
#928
RyushiYoshi wrote:
1000th Post!
Actually my post count said 999... until now of course...
Apeso
Mon Jun 21, 2004 8:59 pm
#929
I would just like to point out that my story was the first one where the master smuggler was the incompatant(Sp?) one. /laugh
WayneInAustin
Thu Jun 24, 2004 10:33 am
#931
Not really hilarious, but amusing....
I was sent a tell the other night from someone who wanted me to slice a full set of armor. I agreed and we met in the bank in Coronet. Before trading, he admitted he knew slicingwas random but asked me to do the best that I could. I reminded him that tool quality did not make any difference, but if it made him feel any better, I was using 97% quality tools.
He said he had a full set minus one piece and we opened a trade window. He started putting armor I had never seen before into it, including a belt,and when he was done I accepted.I asked him about itand he told me this was an almost complete set of BH armor. I asked him how he got it and he said he had spent several days on Yavin hunting down random spawns of Black Sun NPCs. He told me it was worth 3 or 4 million. I got him some decent slices: mid-20s on some effectiveness slices and some high 30s and one 40% on the encumberance slices.
While I was slicing, I started wondering what made this hard-to-find armor worth so much money. Usually I don't take time to examine the armor I slice, but I thought if this is worth several million I ought to take a look at it. So I examineda couple of pieces expecting to see some really good stats. LOL... most of the base stats were 10%. I chuckled and asked him what made it so valuable and he explained that it was just rarity of it.
WayneInAustin
Thu Jun 24, 2004 1:06 pm
#932
Yes, you can say that... but then we'd have to kill you....
lurdanta wrote:
Can I just say to all my fellow smugglers that I love you all.
It's such a blast to be one of you and to know other people have similar annoying and interesting experiences with customers.
You guys ROCK.
lurdanta
Fri Jun 25, 2004 12:52 am
#933
Can I just say to all my fellow smugglers that I love you all.
It's such a blast to be one of you and to know other people have similar annoying and interesting experiences with customers.
You guys ROCK.
BeigeKnight
Fri Jun 25, 2004 9:02 pm
#935
More of a "grin-to-self for the smuggler"...
Was heading to the shuttle in Coronet when I get a tell...
Guy: Can i get 15 weapons slice at 4k a slice?
Me: What do you mean 4k a slice?
Guy: 4k per slice. Comes to 60k, right?
Me: Woah woah woah! Last time I check, the slicer named the price...
Guy: ok what do you charge?
ok what do you charge?Me: 6k per slice (note: I've been playing with prices between 6-9k)
Guy: Hmmm well, smug is the most underpaid prof there is. How bout 7k per?
I think I felt shooting pains up my left arm, signifying a heart attack lol.
Me: Um...sound good to me.
Best customer ever.
kidrock12xp
Sat Jun 26, 2004 4:45 am
#936
6-9k a slice, holy hell. On my server I charge 4k a slice. Most ppl don't seem to mind much, however you get ppl that really get pissed off. One time this customer had me meet him at this weapon shopto slice stuff for him. Here's how it went.
Him: We'll do it one by one.
Me: Ok
Me: 19 speed
Him: Hmm, no prob, here's another
Me: 17 speed
Him: ......... here
Me: 14 attack
Him: OMG DIE YOU UNHOLY PISS ANT SLICER
Me: I can't help what I get, it's all random......
(he leaves)
Here's the funny part.. hehe... while in the shop another dude comes in to buy stuff, he has me slice three weapons for him. The slices were 31 speeed, 33 attack, 34 speed. LoL I about died, I told him about the other guy and how mad he was. I decided to give him the last weapon he had me slice since I wasn't in the profession to use it and got 15k for it, hehe so everything worked out.....on my end anyhow.