Smuggler Archive

Hmmm, it seems that the powers that be are even more nefarious in their update schemings than we first anticipated.

Time to redress the balance...

Publish 13.1

We'll have to split up the Jedi into different camps as it's now against policy to have more than one Jedi per server. Can't have any mass gatherings in an MMORPG now, can we?

Incidentally, as of Publish 13 it takes 2 Jedi to wield a lightsaber, so they are now effectively useless. How's that for cunning?

And just in case those pesky Jedi come up with some loophole, we've changed the animation for lightsabers which means that they cause such lag when used that they now contravene the harrassment part of policy, so you're still not allowed to use them.

As an extra piece of love for the IDs, all Jedi are now required to visit an ID and have their toon redesigned to look like Anakin from TPM.

All Jedi names have also been reset to "Annie" and their default emote is /whine.

But don't think that IDs get all the love! we've got something for CH as well...

Head on over to Naboo and join in the great Gungan hunt - you'll need a good stock because all Jedi are now required to be followed around permanently by their own personal Jar-Jar!

Visit your local CH to pick up your very own rubber-faced nonsense machine. They'll be ready trained by the CH with such amazing tricks as:

1) /irritate. A devastating ability that will even put Combat Medics area effect poison to shame. Watch as even The Death Watch pull off their own ears to try and ignore this lovable side kick.

2) /kissofdeath. Even more devastating! Every 10 minutes, your cuddly Gungan funbucket gets so annoying that it manages to alert every Bounty Hunter, Imperial and member of any faction with which you hold negative fp to your presence, and they descend on you like a fanboy on Greedo shooting first.

Unfortunately we haven't worked out the bug where you get creamed as soon they find you 'cos you can't use a lightsaber any more. Eeeeeeevil aren't we?

Stay tuned for more in Publish 13.2...

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tralita_tusnami wrote:

WOOT JUST FOUND I HAVE THE OPTION TO EDIT

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How the hell do you get that? I could really use an edit button sometimes.

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Jaguarrr wrote:

*silence for about 1 minute*

Can I get one of the ysilmaris and one of the vornskrs now?

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me to, i must mate them to create a super-anti-jedi beast.. and it will be non-ch

Nooooooooo, I get sidetracked for 5 mins and they've bleedin' well escaped!

Still, with the Jar-Jar machine in tow, it shouldn't be too hard to find another couple of volunteers...

/hangs around in Dathomir shadows, toying with rusty PLK (which by the way was made with spit and twigs as resources, but still works just fine )

/squints through the mist as a swoop comes whining over the hills, spewing flame and smoke

Just as the swoop comes near the tree he's hiding behind, a shadowy figure steps into view and flags down the rider.

/Hi. You looking for the Village?

/I'm here to tell ya that as of publish 13.2 the Village has got some added missions. They're jedi missions.

/Notice that's jedi and not Jedi.

/Of course there's a difference - jedi missions are open to anyone!

/Saunters off into the mist, chuckling maniacally to himself...

he has totally lost it..

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

You have no idea

It seems to me that the time is right to take a few more prisoners.

 JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI 
DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE RE
VAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP O
R THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE 
JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI D
IE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REV
AMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR
 THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE J
EDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DI
E REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVA
MP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR 
THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JE
DI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE
 REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAM
P OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR T
HE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JED
I DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE 
REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP
 OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR TH
E JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI
 DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE R
EVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP OR THE JEDI DIE REVAMP 

*Yim opens a small black bag removing a razor, sand paper, a tweezers, a vile of acid and 2 vabid weasels*

Ok Im ready.....