Smuggler Archive

Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler

JTGAlpha
Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:46 pm
#547
Yeah, I'm James's right hand man. He's good people. If you ever need anything give him or me (Dayasi)a call.



Dayasi Vo'Boda CEO of SCUM PA.
Founders of Agrilatia in the Agrilat Swamps Of Corellia (Intrepid).
Taking Scum and Villainy to a new Level to Serve YOU.
Remember: SCUM does it dirty
Another Horseman of the Smuggling Apocolypse

bladedroid
Thu Apr 01, 2004 9:58 pm
#548

Jeffsan Omoef tells you, "hello?"


I reply, "ello"


Jeffsan tells you, "i was wondering if you could slice 2 swords for me?"


i reply "I can. 100 credits per % per item.


I tell him where i am and he comes to meet me.


Jeffsan Omoef tells you, "lets pray for high damage slices"


i reply, "i can't guarentee anything, but i did do 2 slices for someone today for 41% and 42% slices.


Jeffsan tells you "wow"


Trade takes place


i reply, "Slice first Ryyk blade for 24% speed, Second Ryyk blade for 19% speed."


Jeffsan tells you; "F(censor)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


I reply, "19% is on the house"


Jeffsan tells you, "i needed damage that blows huge c(censor)"


I reply, "2400credits"


Jeffsan tells you, "in your bank"


(it was bank tipped)


Jeffsan tells you, "can you not choose what you slice?"


i reply, "nope, i can't chose % or type of slice, it's all 50/50 chance."


Jeffsan replies, "god! that sucked so bad. Get better from slicer sometime. That's so gay."


I reply, "i've done better, you've just had bad luck on this one"


Jeffsan replies, "it's your clamps or something"


I reply, "It's not always good slices. I had to buy 5 VK's to get a damage slice on em yesterday"


Jeffsan replies, "nahh your clamps suck i bet"


Jeffsan replies, "i've never seen a master smuggler get 2 slices that bad in a row."


I reply, "whatever dude.. I gave you 1900 off the price"


Jeffsan replies, "and i used to be 1"


Jeffsan replies, "use better copper on your clamps if you make them".


I reply, "master smugglers can have the highest slices but also the lowest slices as well"


Jeffsan replies, "I know, i used to be 1."


I reply, "if you knew, you would of KNOWN we can't chose."


Jeffsan "19% is under the such though"


I reply "when you lie, be better at it. no listing of smuggler on your bio. You had no clue smuggler can't chose the slice. if you wanna cry about your weapon that's better performance then it was before you handed it to me, do it elsewhere."


then he goes on to say how his badges aren't showing up from hotfixes.. and i had to remind him those were fixed(just like mine was.)


Jeffsan replies, "use better clamps! it's what the experimentation is for"


I reply, "if you were a smuggler, you'd know that clamps have nothing to do with the type or how high a slice. And if it did, how do you explain that i got the 41%, 42%, 37%, and 33% slices today using clamps from the same crate?


40 min later..


Jeffsan replies, "sorry about earlier. my tantrum"


I reply, and the lies?"


He never got back.. Sorry for the long drawn conversation, but i thought i'd share the intellegence of this individual.




Dracius

Master Smuggler/Master Pistoleer

Bria Server






(gnn[[[[[[[[[[]nnnWX9ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg)


Main- Fingerin Danose(Carbineer/Combat Medic)

Alt-Dracius(Jedi) of Bria
-D-A- on Dantoonie

Smuggler_Caylin
Thu Apr 01, 2004 10:04 pm
#549

Lol I remember Jeffsan...


Interesting to see not much has changed.





The Infamous Caylin Borealis - First Master Smuggler on Bria
One of the Four Horsemen of the Smuggler Apocalypse!
:The Ghost with the Most:

JeffIncredible
Fri Apr 02, 2004 12:48 am
#550
does anyone remember this?


http://www.bullseyeart.com/ratchicken/



I USED TO take Defense Stacker 2....do you?

Ex-Triple Threat |o|o|o|O
bladedroid
Fri Apr 02, 2004 2:00 am
#551
I seem to of missed the humor in your link there JeffIncredible.. Sorry :/





(gnn[[[[[[[[[[]nnnWX9ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg)


Main- Fingerin Danose(Carbineer/Combat Medic)

Alt-Dracius(Jedi) of Bria
-D-A- on Dantoonie

Pharfignewton
Fri Apr 02, 2004 4:00 am
#552
Jeffincredible, that wasa bit off-topic there. Oh well. Also, bladedroid, how'd you get 41% and 43% slices? Was this from a pre-publish/patch time in galaxies or what?



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beware the flying pigs, for they defy reality!!!!

I am a marksman, artisan, scout, smuggler, pistoleer, and entertainer. Who needs those master class badges?
Dmytri
Fri Apr 02, 2004 7:40 am
#553




RebRamon wrote:

I've also had people think it literally meant I was a Fence, as in picket or chain-link.







Haha, I remember those...


I was sitting in the Coronet bank, answering emails (easily 5 months ago)...


"A Fence? What's that, what do you do?"

"I keep the neighbors' dogs out of your yard."



Dmytri Petrokov
Worst pikeman ever
bladedroid
Fri Apr 02, 2004 11:22 am
#554
Pharfignewton,

This all happened last nite(including the slices).. the nite of 1 april 2004. I had gotten a 41% slice on the 31 March 2004 for a guy in theed. I'm honestly not doing anything different then normal. slice item, clamp it, wire 1 cut, wire 2 cut hand item back.


Before teh 31st of March i didn't think it was possible to get anything above 35%(i recieved master title about 4 days ago).. but even on the 30th of March I got a 37%.. So I'm not sure how, but i've even got SS's of em(i was kinda proud hehe).


I know this isn't of topic, but answering a question that was posted here. hehe







(gnn[[[[[[[[[[]nnnWX9ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg)


Main- Fingerin Danose(Carbineer/Combat Medic)

Alt-Dracius(Jedi) of Bria
-D-A- on Dantoonie

Pelligrosa
Fri Apr 02, 2004 11:48 am
#555


Were the 40s on armor or weapons?


In other news, I'm seriously beginning to doubt my smuggler mojo. I just had the worst smuggler luck ever on this poor girl's 8 suits of composite. Not a single slice was over 23%, most were under 20%. I got 5, count them, 5, 11%effectiveness slices.That's really, really sad. She was very understanding and tipped me well, but we both knew that this was terrible, horrible, awful slicing. I'm a Master and I'm getting 11% slices? Insane! I used a wide variety of qualities in my tools, even switching to my top shelf 100% AUKs and 99% knives and clamps that I keep for special occasions (though I am a firm believer that tool quality doesn't matter, I was willing to try anything at this point). All in all, we got 1 pretty crappy suit of composite considering the money she had plunked down on them. I felt terrible and tipped her almost all of her money back. She was super nice though, and insisted on my keeping it.


Just goes to show that for every bad, ignorant, meancustomer there's an extrodinarily understanding and nice one.


Pelligrosa - master smuggler

Vists my shop on Bloodfin! The Scoundrel's Toolbox just outside of coronet! Look us up and we'll hook you up! Cheap clamps and more of those 100% AUKs and WUKs as well as normal ones - keeping the profession affordable.



Pelligrosa

Master CH, Former Master Smuggler, Former Master Dancer, now stuck somewhere between BH and Pistoleer... What a life!
WayneInAustin
Fri Apr 02, 2004 11:57 am
#556

(Just noticed this was a double-post, so I am wiping out this message.)


Message Edited by WayneInAustin on 04-02-2004 03:37 PM




____________________________________________
Way'ev-Da on Eclipse
Came to life in Restuss, on Rori, 07/03/2003
Master Rifleman 10/18/2003 - present
Master Smuggler 1/25/2004 - 11/05/2004
Dancer buffs + Muon + Musician Buffs + Vasarian Brandy = Sex, Drugs, Rock&Roll, and Alcohol(Man, I love this job!)


WayneInAustin
Fri Apr 02, 2004 12:00 pm
#557

This happened a couple of nights ago.. the customer's name was Sabin-Ryan I believe (this is a good story, not a bad story)...
I obviously can't recall it word for word, but the spirit is true to the actual event (and I shortened it a bit)...


Sabin-Ryan: I have two sets of armor to be sliced, can you handle that?
Way'ev-Da: Sure.. (we trade)
Sabin-Ryan: I know it's random, but Encumberance sure would be nice! lol
Way'ev-Da: Hehe... OK, I'll do the magic Encumberance Dance and hope for the best...
(Severaleffectiveness slices later...)
Sabin-Ryan: DANCE HARDER!!
(more effectiveness slices later...)
Sabin-Ryan: TAKE SOME DANCING LESSONS, YOU BASTAARD! (good-naturedly)
.....








____________________________________________
Way'ev-Da on Eclipse
Came to life in Restuss, on Rori, 07/03/2003
Master Rifleman 10/18/2003 - present
Master Smuggler 1/25/2004 - 11/05/2004
Dancer buffs + Muon + Musician Buffs + Vasarian Brandy = Sex, Drugs, Rock&Roll, and Alcohol(Man, I love this job!)


JTGAlpha
Fri Apr 02, 2004 2:14 pm
#558
Wayne, remember...tell your clients...."Do NOT tell me what kind of slice you want! The server gods are listening and they are CRUEL."



Dayasi Vo'Boda CEO of SCUM PA.
Founders of Agrilatia in the Agrilat Swamps Of Corellia (Intrepid).
Taking Scum and Villainy to a new Level to Serve YOU.
Remember: SCUM does it dirty
Another Horseman of the Smuggling Apocolypse

Jiist
Fri Apr 02, 2004 2:33 pm
#559

JTGAlpha wrote:
Wayne, remember...tell your clients...."Do NOT tell me what kind of slice you want! The server gods are listening and they are CRUEL."


Just as a note: The server gods are intelligent and know reverse psychology. I tried going to a smuggler with this last week:

Me: Please get me some good speed slices. *I really wanted good damage slice*
Smuggler: 25% speed
Me: Sweet!!!! *still playing the I want speed slices card*
Smuggler: 19% speed
Smuggler: 20% dmg slice
Smuggler: worse dmg slice *can't recall - defintely sub 20 though*
Smuggler: 26% speed slice

Dang! My reverse psych failed completely.

Jiist




*** I need to find a SWG gambling anonymous ***

-870,000 credits (Current gain/loss at the Jubilee Wheel)
+12 credits (Current gain/loss at the Lugjack Machine)
+10,000 credits (Current gain/loss from the Twins vs. Yankees bet with Daethe)
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