Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
Nice thread...it got me through about 25k Unarmed exp today.
Finally made Novice just a min. ago, but now I'll be in the Med center and cantina for a while shaking off the 300 + wounds and BF.
Fortunately the majority of my slicing customers have been pretty cool (knock on wood).I did have a non slicingincident that happened to me...
*Cruising at top speed on my swoop bike I arrive at my guildcity where I am expecting a shipment...I jet through town and find my female contact. Me being the oh so smooth smuggler that I am I begin to chat to herwhile still mounted...
me:Fancy meeting you here *wink*
Female Contact: Hey, Igot that stuff you ordered. It's in my house be back in a minute. My house is usually private but if you want to come in i can add you to the permissions list
me: Oh come on. You're just using that as an excuse to invite me into your crib 
/evilgrin
Female contact: Hehe, smugglers.Follow me...
me: sure thing
:::/dismount, instant moonwalk200m away
Swoop continues on it's own path for a few meters, crashes into the sidewall, and comes to a rest.:::
Female Contact: great dismount...lol
me: *blush* heh, I meant to do that...(/thinkGreat job Ram, nice and smooth) 
lol, great posts 
This happend to me a while back.
ME: Hunting grauls way out in BF Dathomar.
Some 1337 D00d sends me a tell: Hey mam 'so and so' said that u were a good slicer. can u slice my set of armor.
Me: well, I'm out hunting right now, I would be glad to slice your armor when I get back. It'll prally be tomorrow though.
D00d: Oh, I really need the slices now. I'll pay you 5k extra if you meet me in AH as sson as possible.
Me: Uh, I'm out on Dath 9k from the outpost (this was before mounts and vehicles)
D00d: Well how soon can you make it to AH?
Me: I'll not be making it to AH today?
At this point he proceded to send me /tells every 5 min or so asking me to PLEASE slice his stuff. well, untill I /addignored him.
me, female (human) dressed only in tight shirt and spec ops duster, spamming: Unlocking containers FREE...
wookie (presumably male,heh)whom I'verun into once or twice: I've got one you can open.
trade,slice it, trade it back, then I say: Hope it's something good!
wookie: I got wood.
me: Gee, and I hardly know you!
bystander: lmao.
drk-on-tempest, soon-to-be-slicer
mur-on-eclipse wrote:
me, female (human) dressed only in tight shirt and spec ops duster, spamming: Unlocking containers FREE...
wookie (presumably male,heh)whom I'verun into once or twice: I've got one you can open.
trade,slice it, trade it back, then I say: Hope it's something good!
wookie: I got wood.
me: Gee, and I hardly know you!
bystander: lmao.
drk-on-tempest, soon-to-be-slicer
ROFL
LOL
LMAO
What's with everyone impatience in this game? People want things *right the hell now* like waiting 24 hours is going to cause the end of all things, the servers will come crashing down, characters will get deleted and our subscription fees will triple. My god people, take a chill pill.
Between me and my GF we've got a Master Tailor, Doctor andSmuggler. We constantly get tells from people who want a Gunsmans Duster in purple/gold. Can you get it to me now, I'm on Talus. Or like the above, I need my armor sliced right now, can you meet me halfway across the galaxy? Or I need a crate of Stimbs, and I need them in 2 hours. Well, sorry, my vendor is out, I'm making a new run, will be done tomorrow maybe, still waiting for some resources. Then they'll say, I'll pay you extra for the trip. It's not worth my time, unless you want to pay me 500k for the crate. Sheesh. I've decided to stop serving impatient people. My GF is more forgiving than I, but I don't understand the urgency. It's just rude. I make plenty off my polite, patient customers, thank you very much.
/rantoff
So a funny thing happened to me on the way out to my house from Bestine. I get on my speeder, and, well, you know, speed off =). I start getting tells:
guy: wait!
guy: wait stop!
I'm just out of town when I see them (had loud music on, didn't hear the beeps). I pull over and scan around me, don't see anyone. Then another speeder zooms up to me. The guy dismounts.
guy: can u slice 3gun for me?
I've got the following macro'd: Certainly. 100cr / % increase, so 20% = 2000 cr --- no charge for slices below 15%.
Guy passes over 2 guns:
- a DL44 2.8 spd, 145 max dmg
- a Scout 2.2 spd, 122 max dmg
I shrug and slice em, both speed (which I normally laugh at on a pistol, but these needed it =p). I give him the results, we trade, he pays. One more gun. Now I figure I'll see the krayt gun. Have you guys seen this from newbs, where they'll give you a coupla crappy weapons to slice to be sure you're not going to run off with them, then they pass over the good stuff? What a lack of trust, sheesh. So that's what I'm expecting. But instead:
guy: can u wait, friend comesoon (I play on Kauri, a lot of French speakers with poor English)
Me: Ok, will it be long?
guy: non, is a pistol. (huh?)
A minute later a guy runs up on foot, wearing Newbie Brawler clothing (hideously colored cold weather jacket, those stupid green/brown boots). I see he's carrying a D18. I'm wondering in the back of my mind, but pretty sure it's another gun the newb bought or was given by a friend. So, just joking:
Me: No the D18 I hope. /grin
No answer. But I see the Brawler unequip the weapon. Then the 1st guy sends me a trade request. Open it up, and find:
- D18, 2.8 spd, 107 max dmg
Me: Seriously?
guy: pls slice, you can yes? not already sliced?
Me: I can slice it, just never sliced a D18 before. Wanted to be sure. The slice will cost more than the weapon.
guy: ah, well do ur best. (I guess he thought that me saying I'd never done it before made it a real tricky proposition... ?)
Slice it, speed again.
Me: Give to you or to him? /point at Brawler
guy: he speak no english, pls give to me, I will pay.
We trade, he pays, they walk off fat and happy with weapons whose slices cost more than the original purchase. I'd have tried to tell them that it wasn't worth it, but with the obvious language barrier, I figured if they want the service and want to pay, I'm down with that.
Just made Nov Smuggler. Thanks to this thread, I am forewarned about the morons cluttering up the galaxy.
As for one of my stories:
I'm a 2111 Rifleman, also have most Marksman, Scout, some CH, and Medic. Anyways, here I am, finishing up Unarmed IV so I can get Smuggler, when some idiot runs up and asks me to leave the thug spawn area in Moenia, by the starport. Mind you, I do not wear a tag. None. I prefer to go anonymous.
Me: I'm almost done, give me about 5 minutes, and then you can have this spot.
Moron: No, I want it now, I need the XP!!!!
Me: Five minutes, you can have it. Relax.
Moron: **** you! Gimme this spot or I'll waste yer @$$!
Me: **edit** off, **edit**.
Moron: about 20 lines of screaming, cursing, and stupidity.
Me: You done yet? (the whole time, I've been dropping Mummer thugs, got enough XP now)
Moron: ^%@*&$%@&*#$*&$#*$@&*(&(*!#!!!! (runs up, challenges me to a duel, runs to about 60m)
Me: (noticing the noob Marksman clothes and CDEF or DLT20a) Accept. (pulls out T21)
Moron: (runs like hell) No fair!!!! C***sucker!!!
He turns the wrong way, I use Mindshot3, it's all over. I walk up to where he's incapped.
Me: You really should be polite to people. You'll save a **edit**load of money on cloning and insurance. Oh, and buy yourself some armor. --Deathblow--
A couple of minutes later, I get a /tell from Captain Numbnuts. He's apologising profusely.
Me: Go ahead and come back here, you can have this spot. Be polite to people in the future.
Moron: Sorry.
I even wound up healing the guy while we chatted. I gave him some old bone armor I had in my backpack, and all was well. I just crack up imagining the look on his face when the T21 came out.
had a customer this weekend...
Customer: Heyyou on?
me: Hello.
Customer: Hey canya slice my gun?
me: well i am in my shop right now if you want to swing by, i 'll be here for the next 30-45min
Customer: ok! im comin from Lok (i am on corellia) I'll hurry plz wait!
me: ok just hurry
[bout 25min later he is at my shop]
Customer: how much you charge?
me: /chuckle; 100c per %
Customer: cool here..[Opens trade]
[I look at the weapon first, notice it says: DL44 Pistol1.8 53-162 [Kav]
me: /lol
Customer: what?
me: i made this gun, it's allready sliced. compare the stats to the ones in the name.
oints at tag on gun.
customer: DOH!
me: sorry bub you wasted a flight or two there. (its about 2k+ in ticket prices from Lok to my shop)
[felt sorry for the guy so i gave him some pixie]
me: here man take this and forget your troubles ;/wink
Heh, I have slice 4, working the rest of the trees, but have been slicing for a while. I always give the standard warning, "I only have slice 4, I'm not a Master Smuggler". Just for reassurance 
So the other day I notice that my Ubese Jacket is down to 0%, ugh, lots of grinding and I just never looked close enough.
A friend of mine picks me up a new jacket while she is shopping for her own Ubese. We meet up, and she says she might get a Master Smuggler to slice hers, just for the off chance of the better slices. I'm more than ok with that as business is business, and friends is friends. So I proceed to slice my Jacket and say in spatial "*ooc* Cool, 28% encumb"
She immediatly says "alright do mine too!". I proceed to use my l337 skillz to slice 9% eff, 10% eff, 14% eff, and a 16% eff on 4 of the 7 pieces. She even paid me for the other 2. I couldn't help but laugh and cry at the same time. She understood, she has been through the smuggling trees, but even so, it was a humbling experience.