Smuggler Archive
Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
Kav wrote:
hehe i used to ninja craft myself before i opened shop
I actually combed the map for a house that had all 3 crafting stations. hehe was allways jumpy waiting for someone to walk in.
Cool I knew I couldn't be the only one...lol.
This isn't really a funny story, but I was pretty shocked...
I had just gotten Novice Smuggler the day before and had been doing the usual Novice Smuggler slicing spam for locked containers... I was in Bestine, Tatooine at the time, and couldn't seem to find anything there.
So I go to Coronet, figuring I'll get lucky.
As I arrive I hear another Smuggler yelling a spam similar to mine for containers. So I wait a while...and she logs.
I start my macro up and I get a few containers. Then I get a /tell from a guy saying somthing like: I have some containers...are you sure I can trust you?
And I said "Yeah", figuring I could get some XP out of it either way. Well, the guy gives me a Satchel, or Cargo pocket and I open it up to see it's filled with FOURTEEN containers. I was pretty shocked, told him to give me a while to slice em', and he waited.
Not really funny, but it's a Novice Smuggler's dream (I had clamps...good thing.)
Sylvan, actually many of these stories are about slapnuts who are not only ignorant, but rude. It's one thing to not know anything. That's pardonable. But when you try to explain it to them, when you try and tell them, "Hey, this is how much this costs," or "Hey, I can't choose whether its damage or speed." and they say "OK" and then bawl you out afterward because they didn't know it'd cost that much because they can't do simple frickin' multiplication, or because they wanted damage and you gave them speed? Screw them. They deserve every ounce of derision and mean act and word poured upon them.
Ignorant is one thing. Being ignorant AND obnoxious is unforgiveable. Being ignorant and too thick to understand the explanation gets you mocked. Sorry. If someone explained something and then I asked a stupid question that completely ignores what I was just told I expect derision.
i was sitting on my mount outside coronet starport with my master smuggler tag on. there were quite a few people around but nothing much was going on and i was getting bored (had just indulged in a bit of recreational real life spice).
anyway i felt like having a bit of fun so i /yell " slicing kaddu's , watch in amazement as the little beasts fly like the wind !"
within seconds i got spammed by around ten or so tells , and suddenly i saw tons of mounts popping out of datapads and feverishly excited peeps walk over towards me. i then used /gallop on my pet and while speeding away yelled " hahahaha you will never catch me, fly my pretty fly"
anyway once i put some distance between myself and the crowd i started responding to the tells. most of them realized i was joking and i got a lot of lol's or rofl . a few i had to explain to that pets cant be sliced and they took it good naturedly. one guy though was quite upset because due to my little escapade he had gotten into a fight with his regular slicer because " he was insisting that mounts cant be sliced".
If we're not going to sticky this, we'll need to keep shamelessly bumping it. As other above have stated, there's no reason this thread should ever be someplace other than the first page of posts =)
Laugh Away Smgglers!
What we should all do is click the little box to the right of the thread to add it to our personal sticky list.
Oh yeah.../bump for the best thread on the forums.
No idiots or bozos involved here but a story nonetheless.
Customer: Hi, can you slice my armour for me?
Me: Sure
Customer: It's composite, could really do with lower encumberance!
Me: I'll try my best, you know it's random though, right?
Customer: Sure NP! Can you do 7 pieces?
Me: Sure.
***Trade's made***
Customer: Gogo magic encumber slice!
Me: LOL
Customer: /prays that helmet gets encumber slice
Me: Hehe
***Slicing Commences***
Me: Left Bicep - 22% encumber
Customer:
Me: Left Bracer - 25% encumber
Customer: woohoo, save the helmet to last!
Me: You sure?
Customer: Yes, I got a good feeling about this!
Me: kk
Me: Right Bicep - 25% encumber
Customer: Yeah baby!
Me: Right Bracer - 27% encumber
Customer: OMG
Me: Chest Plate - 28% encumber
Customer: wowowowowowow
Me: wooo, best so far Gloves - 32% encumber
Customer: This is it, come on!!! /crosses fingers for helmet
Me: Oh No!
Customer: WHAT?
Me: 14% Base Effectiveness
Customer: D'OH
Me: D'OH
Customer: nm, I'll buy another helmet
Customer: Thanks for the great slices anywayz!
Me: np, almost perfection!
Customer:
Customer paid (100c per %), and added me to his friends as his personal slicer. 
Customer: "Can you slice my weapon?"
Me: "Sure."
1-2 minutes of silence...
Customer: "Do you need my weapon?"
Me: "Well, yeah."
these are some great stories and i just have to share my smuggler story; on that Han Solo would be proud of,
I'm sitting in the med center in bestine and have my master smuggler title on, i usually turn it of since i get more than enough business with my regulars but the game turns it on every login and i didnt check. this BH walks in and ask can i slice his weapon, i toss him a couple of heals and tell him my price and he agrees. He ask me to slice damage and i go thru the explanation as to how the whole slicing magic works and tell him my min and max. i slice the pistol for a 23% speed, i wasnt happy with it and was going to give it to the guy on the house as a jesture, before i could say anything else the guy says "you suck, thats a crappy slice, how about i pay you 300 for it", now i am offened and i demand my fee. he goes on for a little bit while i am typing a response to end the hole ordeal. i say to the guy ,i tell you what i'll duel you, if you win its free if i win you pay my fee and not another word. then he proceeds to run his mouth again and say things that dont make a difference and sends me a challenge back, i panic shot the guy followed by a low blow, and finished him off with a series of last ditch shots as he was just standing up from the LB a final last ditch put him in incap, before i could type "now pay me fee please" i had a tip double the amount from the guy. i healed him to get him up off the ground and gave him his weapon and proceeded to walk out the door in true smuggler fashion with my prie and my money, and not a peep from the guy.
I've had a few funny stories, heres one...
Dude:- Slice my gun!!!
Me:- excuse me.... Please?!?!
Dude:- No, just slice it and if you break it, it cost me 10k.
Me:- Failure is impossible with a molecular clamp, but I aint doing your gun now, wrong attitude.
Dude relentlessly creeps to get the slice.
Me:- Look anyone who is gonna take your attitude is never gonna be happy with the result, i dont need that sort of business.
Dude:- **** you man, you are yeh suxxorz.
Me:- addignore dude (in spatial so he can see)
then i /addignore him.
2 seconds later i got half a dozen tells from bystanders i'd never met or spoken to telling me i was a hero and that kid was a real pain in the ass for everyone on the server.