Smuggler Archive

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RexJarka wrote:

We were somewhere around Mos Espa on the edge of the desert when the spice began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the speeder, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Mos Eisley.

My name is Krex Jarka. I am a novice smuggler.

I spend my time drunk on brandy and high on Pixie. There is nothing more desperate and depraved than a man in the depths of a Pixie binge.

Despite countless hours of play, I have little money.

I open locked containers for free. I /shout this fact in spaceports.

My extra cash goes to buying overpriced molecular clamps and spice. (Hit me up and ye shall have some for free)

I have a Wookie friend. He is my attorney. He tells me, in Shiriiyook: “You’re going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. And my first advice is that you should rent a very fast speeder with no top. This blows my weekend, because naturally I’ll have to go with you--and we’ll have to arm ourselves.”

I have 4 different pistols. I die often.

I am more clever then most players, but not as smart.

I dress hipper than your Commando.

I flirt with dancers and cute medics. I call them “Sister.”

I go on hunts. I wait for stronger people to agro the mobs. I attack.

I’ve had a Dark Jedi ask if he should kill me. I said “Go ahead,” sure that I was covert. I look up at my HAM, I see the TEF. I die. I did not try to fight him. I suspect beating up novice smugglers makes him feel important. He has a light saber and I am not going to argue. After cloning, I sliced some containers for him. I got Slice III.

I am grinding pistol exp for a Skill Tree that lets me speak understand every language (including Lekku), which I could already do in the first place.

I never take what is inside the containers that I slice. I do look.

I have sliced containersfor Noobs and failed. They say "That is ok, I will find the key to open it." I say "I hear they sell them on Endor" lol

I park my swoop on top of AFK people /shouting for their smuggler vendor. People look at me. I tell them “What? This is perfectly reasonable place to park” lol

Spice and Slice is illegal, yet I sell more to Imperials than anyone else.

I have an understanding of the general dichotomy of legal and illegal. Right and Wrong.

I am in the Rebel Alliance because the girls are hotter.

I am gonzo. I will feign my death.

Krex Jarka

Gonzo Smuggler

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RexJarka wrote:

We were somewhere around Mos Espa on the edge of the desert when the spice began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the speeder, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Mos Eisley.

My name is Krex Jarka. I am a novice smuggler.

I spend my time drunk on brandy and high on Pixie. There is nothing more desperate and depraved than a man in the depths of a Pixie binge.

Despite countless hours of play, I have little money.

I open locked containers for free. I /shout this fact in spaceports.

My extra cash goes to buying overpriced molecular clamps and spice.

I have a Wookie friend. He is my attorney. He tells me, in Shiriiyook: “You’re going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. And my first advice is that you should rent a very fast speeder with no top. This blows my weekend, because naturally I’ll have to go with you--and we’ll have to arm ourselves.”

I have 4 different pistols. I die often.

I am more clever then most players, but not as smart.

I dress hipper than your Commando.

I flirt with dancers and cute medics. I call them “Sister.”

I go on hunts. I wait for stronger people to agro the mobs. I attack.

I’ve had a Dark Jedi ask if he should kill me. I said “Go ahead,” sure that I was covert. I look up at my HAM, I see the TEF. I die. I did not try to fight him. I suspect beating up novice smugglers makes him feel important. He has a light saber and I am not going to argue. After cloning, I sliced some containers for him. I got Slice III.

I am grinding pistol exp for a Skill Tree that lets me speak every language, which I could already do in the first place.

I never take what is inside the containers that I slice. I do look.

I have sliced containersfor Noobs and failed. They say "That is ok, I will find the key to open it." I say "I hear they sell them on Endor"

I park my swoop on top of AFK people /shouting for their smuggler vendor. People look at me. I tell them “What? This is perfectly reasonable place to park”

Spice and Slice is illegal, yet I sell more to Imperials than anyone else.

I have an understanding of the general dichotomy of legal and illegal. Right and Wrong.

I am int he Rebel Alliance because the girls are hotter.

I am gonzo. I will feign my death.

Krex Jarka

Gonzo Smuggler

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RexJarka wrote:

I have a Wookie friend. He is my attorney.

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Ipseck wrote:
you guys thought that was funny? That has to be one of the saddest, most depressing stories I've ever read.

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Ipseck wrote:
you guys thought that was funny? That has to be one of the saddest, most depressing stories I've ever read.

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