Shipwright Archive

Every other profession has a thread like this so I thought I'd start one off with some tales of ignorant customers and the pain us shippies have to go through. Here goes:-


This one happened to me last week:-

Noob Customer: Hi there. Sorry for sending you a /tell but I didn't get a reply to the email I sent you 3 weeks ago

Me: #$@@$! What do you want?

Noob Customer: I've just got the first two Imp Tier 4 Pilot boxes and I'm wondering if you could put together a TIE-Aggressor and all the components. I'd like a lot of fire power and shields but I understand that we have to take mass into account. Any suggestions you make would be very welcome. I'd gladly pay you for your time.

Me: Sh*t buddy. Why do you think I have a vendor? Go check there.

Noob Customer: I have checked your vendor. It's got 4 Y-wings and a Paint Kit.

*At this stage I'm getting really hacked off with the constant /tells

Me: So you want me to drop what I'm doing and drive out to see you, then do all the work into putting your ship together? Sheeesh!

Noob Customer: Actually I'm standing next to you. But I'd be happy to come and see you at another time. Whenever suits you is fine with me

Me: I don't have time for this Looser!!!

/addInore
/aDIngore
/addInort

Me: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

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This one happened to me only last night:


L33t dude: Hello there friend. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?

Me: Do I look like a charity? Do you see 'HELPER' above my head?

L33t dude: Seriously. I think you'll really like this offer I'm going to make

At this point I'm getting sick of this guy and his constant tells

Me: OK, make it quick.

L33t dude: I've just bought all eight disks for the KSE Firespray schematic

Me: Woot! Sheesh! What do you want ME to do about it?

L33t dude: If I give you the disks and the resources, can you make me a KSE Firespray?

Me: Well first of all, it's called the KGB Freespray and secondly, what is in all this for me?

*At this stage I'm wishing I never flew into Coronet with my Master shipwright tag on

L33t dude: Well, you can keep the schematic afterwards and sell the rest of the ships

Me: You think I've got the resources to waste on 5 Freesprays? Think again a$$paper.

L33t dude: *sigh* Ok. I'll try and find another shipwright

Me: I've just reported you to a CSR. Looser!

L33t dude: But why?

Me: %$&@ bucket!

L33t dude: Ok man. I'm going now

*Some time later

Me: Hey bro! Do you still need me to make those KST FlySpies?

Me: I've got the resources

Me: Hello?

Me: Are you there?

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This is a great one. I've only just made it up. I was in Coro Starport, looking for people to duel and spamming adverts for my vendor when this happened:-


Me: Come and see my vendors at -4435, 4543. Undercutting all other shipwrights on the Server!

Noob Master Shipwright: Hi there sir. Could we have a chat?

Me: Wanna duel noob?

Noob Master Shipwright: No thanks. That looks like a mean CDEF pistol you have there. I wouldn't last a second.

Me: Heheh. I own you.

Noob Master shipwright: I was just wondering if we could have a chat about your prices?

Me: Kiss my snout! I'm not going to give you my pricing calculator

Noob Master shipwright: Please, please stop selling things so cheaply. You can make just as much money selling less for more.

Me: Don't you start attacking me with your economics spanner face.

*Suddenly another idiot turns up

Idiot pilot: Hi again. Do you have that A-Wing I ordered from you last week

Me: Look chump. Things take time. I need to get the resources

Idiot pilot: But I gave you the resources and paid you your normal price

Me: I put it on my vendor go and get it! Sheesh

Idiot pilot: I've been to your vendor but can't get in. Your house has been condemed by the Empire

Me: Duel?

Me: Come and see my vendors at -4435, 4543. Undercutting all other shipwrights on the Server!

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It would be great to hear your nightmare stories! Keep em coming!

I'm sorry.

Maybe I'm just misunderstood?

Message Edited by Cerius101 on 03-09-2005 07:12 AM

For the confused, he's joking... (At least, I really hope he is, lol)

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Goraf wrote:
For the confused, he's joking... (At least, I really hope he is, lol)

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Ya, I was trying to figure that out. Just came off real rude...

Yeah, it's just a parody. A lot of the terrible customer threads for other professions have moments where the crafter is ruder than the customer.

None of the thread actually happened in game and I even said that I made the last bit up. I thought that someone giving away Firespray schematics for free would be the part where people 'unlocked'.

I'd much rather people flame the thread for not being funny than misunderstanding my point.

With that said and done, I think a standard terrible customer thread would be good as I do enjoy reading them on other forums.

Thanks Loki. I was starting to panic about this thread for a while.

LMAO.. that calls for a visit from the 5-star patrol. I wasn't completely sure it was a joke till the Firespray part.

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Cerius101 wrote:
Yeah, it's just a parody. A lot of the terrible customer threads for other professions have moments where the crafter is ruder than the customer.

None of the thread actually happened in game and I even said that I made the last bit up. I thought that someone giving away Firespray schematics for free would be the part where people 'unlocked'.

I'd much rather people flame the thread for not being funny than misunderstanding my point.

With that said and done, I think a standard terrible customer thread would be good as I do enjoy reading them on other forums.

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Ok, understood. You had me very worried there for a second, when I thought about it I REALLY wanted to believe you were being sarcastic Good thing you were!