Ranger Archive
Thread: A SWG joke to lighten the mood.
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Tarnak_Archvold
Sat Mar 19, 2005 9:46 am
#1
I thought that with all the current seriousness of the CU and such, that we could use something to laugh about. Therefore, I tried to construct a joke fitting for the SWG universe. I am not saying it a good joke, but if you cannot laugh at it, then you can laugh at my joke writing skills.
A Mon Calamari ranger came in to a cantina, after a long day of hunting in the dune sea of Tatooine. He sees he two friends the peaceful Wookiee doctor, and the honest Rodian merchant sitting at an other wise empty table with a total of 4 seets.
He walks over to them, and they talk for a bit until a waiter arrives. He then order a large pitcher of jawa beer and 3 glasses. The waiter looks funny at him but get the beer and glasses.
As the suns goes down the cantina gets rocking, and slowly fills up, meanwhile the 3 friends keep ordering more beer. Eventually the cantina fills and all seats are taken except the one at the 3 friends table.
When it is closing time for the cantina the waiter comes over and puts down the bill for the nights beer. Who pays the tap?
Well the ranger of cause. We all know that there is no such thing as a peaceful Wookiee or a honest Rodian. The two was just the rangers imaginary friends he developed after spending to much time in the wilderness. As for why the last three seats were not taken... we all know how a fish smells after a day in the sun!
A Mon Calamari ranger came in to a cantina, after a long day of hunting in the dune sea of Tatooine. He sees he two friends the peaceful Wookiee doctor, and the honest Rodian merchant sitting at an other wise empty table with a total of 4 seets.
He walks over to them, and they talk for a bit until a waiter arrives. He then order a large pitcher of jawa beer and 3 glasses. The waiter looks funny at him but get the beer and glasses.
As the suns goes down the cantina gets rocking, and slowly fills up, meanwhile the 3 friends keep ordering more beer. Eventually the cantina fills and all seats are taken except the one at the 3 friends table.
When it is closing time for the cantina the waiter comes over and puts down the bill for the nights beer. Who pays the tap?
Well the ranger of cause. We all know that there is no such thing as a peaceful Wookiee or a honest Rodian. The two was just the rangers imaginary friends he developed after spending to much time in the wilderness. As for why the last three seats were not taken... we all know how a fish smells after a day in the sun!
SickSix
Sat Mar 19, 2005 9:56 am
#2
/rofl
with some tweaking that could be pretty damn funny! /hint grammar/spelling errors
thats pretty funny though lol
agent156
Sat Mar 19, 2005 11:52 am
#3
Good enough that I saw the punch line coming, lol. Brush up the delivery a bit and that one could slay a Krayt.
Almagill
Sat Mar 19, 2005 12:36 pm
#4
badUM-tishhhh
I got thrown out of a cantina for telling jokes like that... Keep it up!
I got thrown out of a cantina for telling jokes like that... Keep it up!
.
DesktopSaki
Sat Mar 19, 2005 2:55 pm
#6
ROFL! I do know one peaceful wookiee, but honest Rodian? AHHAHAH! 
SovietGuy
Sat Mar 19, 2005 4:05 pm
#7
Maybe a hairless bothan would be better. That's funny on it's own.
Tarnak_Archvold
Sat Mar 19, 2005 7:02 pm
#8
SovietGuy wrote:
Maybe a hairless bothan would be better. That's funny on it's own.
If I used a shaved bothan I would have to work in a punchbowl, for him to swim in, as well... that would be a bit difficult.
Gilamu
Sat Mar 19, 2005 7:14 pm
#9
Ok if I throw one in?
Luke Skywalker and Han Solo are camping. Late at night, they lie on their backs, and gaze up at the sky. "Kid," Han says, "take a look at the stars and tell me what they mean to you."
Luke thinks for a moment, and finally responds. "I know the twin suns of Tatooine are there, and that means that I'll always have a home, no matter how far I travel. The other stars are homes to countless other beings, caught underneath the Empire's tyranny. The stars mean hope to me, and each light in the sky is a torch burning bright for liberty. The Empire can never extinguish them all, and thus there will always be hope and one day, there will be freedom."
Han says nothing after that, so finally Luke asks, "What do they mean to you, Han?"
"Someone's stolen our tent!"
Owen-Lars
Sat Mar 19, 2005 7:37 pm
#11
A human, azab and a bothan are sitting on top of the highest building in coronet having lunch after a hard days work in the building as random npcs. They open up their packed lunches and the human goes:
"Dammit,royal jelly sandwiches again! The wife always makes me damn jelly sandwiches, If i get jelly sandwiches tommorow, thats it, im jumping to my death"
Then thezab opens up his packed lunch and yells:
"Dammit, royal jelly sandwiches again! If i get jelly sandwiches tommorow im going to jump too"
Then the bothan opens his and says:
"Dammit me too, jelly sandwhiches, if i get jelly sandwiches tommorow im going to jump also"
So it gets to the next day and the 3 guy hike it to the top of the building and open up their lunches to find jelly sandwiches. They all jump off and die. Its at the funeral and theres the 3 men's wives standing around the coffins. The human's wife says:
"I dont understand it, he never said he hated jelly sandwiches, if i would of known i would of made him something else"
Then the zabs wife says:
"same here, i dont understand it too, he never mentioned he hated jelly sandwiches, i would of also made him something different"
Then the bothan's wife says:
"i dont understand it, he makes his own sandwiches!"
De-dum-dum
Not saying bothans are thick or anything 
Caliet
Sat Mar 19, 2005 10:54 pm
#12
I suck at telling jokes. However if you give these a read I am sure at least one of them will make at least one of you laugh:
SWG Stories By Brazbit (Wrote these for the House Angeles Guild on Naritus)
Message Edited by Caliet on 03-19-2005 09:56 PM
lammergeier
Sun Mar 20, 2005 12:11 am
#13
two rangers, a 'dosh and a wookiee, are in the middle of the wilds of tatooine. the suns beat down.
'dosh: "hold up a minute... these are dragonet tracks."
wookiee: "you idiot. these are obviously bantha tracks."
'dosh: "are you crazy? bantha tracks have feathered edges due to their thick coats... these are obviously not the tracks of some shaggy beast, and judging by the size they're dragonets, or scyks at least."
wookiee: "what's that supposed to mean? you have a problem with ANYTHING that has more hair than you, and that includes rontos."
'dosh: "it's not my fault that scales are a more efficient integument in a desert environment. aren't you hot under all that fur?"
wookiee: "here we go again... you and your reptile-chauvanist attitude. these are bantha tracks."
the suns continue to bake the sand as they stand on the tracks arguing. lost in their own petty dispute, neither notices the train coming down the tracks. they both die.
'dosh: "hold up a minute... these are dragonet tracks."
wookiee: "you idiot. these are obviously bantha tracks."
'dosh: "are you crazy? bantha tracks have feathered edges due to their thick coats... these are obviously not the tracks of some shaggy beast, and judging by the size they're dragonets, or scyks at least."
wookiee: "what's that supposed to mean? you have a problem with ANYTHING that has more hair than you, and that includes rontos."
'dosh: "it's not my fault that scales are a more efficient integument in a desert environment. aren't you hot under all that fur?"
wookiee: "here we go again... you and your reptile-chauvanist attitude. these are bantha tracks."
the suns continue to bake the sand as they stand on the tracks arguing. lost in their own petty dispute, neither notices the train coming down the tracks. they both die.
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