Ranger Archive
Thread: Animosity between rangers and commandos when will it stop
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CuchulainnDarklight wrote:
The Ranger replied "Oh, I just bet him 500,000 credits I could piss all over you and you wouldnt just like it, youd sit there smiling!"
LOL ^^^ nice to see you guys joining in!
Message Edited by Maxanto on 09-21-2005 11:21 AM
Oh yeah I had a comment about this:
"Just before take-off, A Ranger got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Commandos. The Ranger kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes . . ."
That is so obviously not a real Ranger. I'm sorry. What kind of Ranger takes his boots OFF?!?! o_O
While stations on Endor two Commandos get a little down time and decide to go hunting. Now neither of them really know how to track anything, so they're mostly just walking in a straight line and hitting anything that moves with rockets. But as they're walking one of the Commandos clutches his chest, his face drains of blood, and he collapses.
Frightened, the other Commando puts in a call to the unit's Ranger. "Help! My buddy just fell over dead and I don't know what to do!"
"Calm down," the Ranger replies. "First make sure he's dead."
From the other end of the comm unit the Ranger hears the sound of a rocket launcher being fired, then the Commando returns. "Okay. Now what?"
He also invited Leroy, the only
Rangerin the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in."
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its butt! Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.
Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."
"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Leroy.
The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"
"No thanks. I don't want it," answered Leroy.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"
Leroy said, "I want the name of thebleepimng Commandowho pushed me in the pool"
A Ranger and a Commando are on a recon mission on Endor. The pair suddenly spot a pack of gurrecks a short distance away. Unfortunately, the gurrecks spot them as well. The situation looks grim.
"Damn," says the Commando. "It had to be gurrecks. Blaze of glory time, I guess." He then begins to ready his heavy weapons, largest to smallest.
"Whatever you say,"replies the Ranger, as he kneels down to make sure his boots are laced up tight.
"Heh, what are you doing that for?" the Commando asks, incredulous. "You can't outrun those gurrecks!"
Definately funny stuff.
A Commando out in the wildest part of Tattoine finds himself entering a tiny backwater town and rides up to the cantina. He hitches his mount to the hitching rail and heads inside to belly up to the bar. The bartender is less than happy to see him and says "Let me give you fair warning. The twelve men you see in this cantina are all Rangers and they don't take kindly to strangers and that goes triple for Commandos." The Commando is unfazed and assures the bartender he only wants one beer and then he will be on his way with no trouble. Reluctantly the bartender serves up a beer, the Commando drinks it and, as promised, heads for the door. But when he gets outside he sees his mount has disappeared and he can hear the Rangers snickering behind him at the practical joke. Sighing, he returns to the bar, tells the bartender to set up another beer, unslings his flamethrower and places it on the bar so everyone can see it, then turns to address the Rangers. "I had something identical to this happen to me once back on Endor a few years ago. So let me tell you how this is going to work. I'm going to drink another beer and and my mount better be back outside when I'm done or...well let's just say I really hope you don't make me do what I had to do on Endor." The Rangers dismiss him and go back to their own drinks. Time passes and the Commando's beer is eventually half empty. At this point, he takes two thermal detonators from his grenade pouches and thrusts the blade of vibroknuckler into the bar where it is easily available to his reach and says, "Times running down, boys. I'm prepared and able to do it, but I honestly hope you don't make me repeat what I had to do on Endor." By now a couple of the youngest Rangers are looking a little nervous and even the old vets are watching him closely. Soon, only a last sip remains in the Commando's glass. 'Well time to find out if you're going to force me to do what I did back on Endor." The Commando swigs the last of the beer down and moves to the door. Sure enough his mount has miraculously re-appeared outside. Satisfied, the Commando retrieves his equipment, pays the bartender, heads outside and climbs on his mount. From inside he hears the question, "So what exactly did you have to do back on Endor?" asked byone of the Rangers. Just before spurring his mount the Commando replies, "Why, I had to walk home of course."
Message Edited by Olsson on 09-21-2005 11:52 PM
Mousekin wrote:
Oh yeah I had a comment about this:
"Just before take-off, A Ranger got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Commandos. The Ranger kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes . . ."
That is so obviously not a real Ranger. I'm sorry. What kind of Ranger takes his boots OFF?!?! o_O
This is RL related not so much Ranger but it applies.
Years ago I was flying home to theUnited States after having been deployed in Southeast Asia. My Ruck was loaded on top with all my Dirty laundry in a sealed water proof bag.
So I land state side and the customs agent asked me if I had anything to declare. Glibbly I replied just dirty laundry.
The customs agent opened my ruck in the 90 degree wheather and resealed the bag immediately.
Glumly he looked at me and asked flat out. Did I have anything illegal in that ruck and could he trust me?
Well of course he could trust me I replied.
So I got the stuffed Cobra through customs only to have my wife flat out state no way shape or form was that thing coming in her house.
What a let down.
I can picture a Ranger taking his boots off for the only desired affect I can think of.
We used to do it when we came out of the field for the same effect. We took pride when some REMF stated we stunk.
Message Edited by Rolfie on 09-21-2005 12:10 PM
> "Why, I had to walk home of course."
Hmm I can't decide which camp this joke is coming from!