Merchant Archive

Thread: Annoying Customers you want to throw in the Sarlacc Pit

Manmas-Fin
Sat May 01, 2004 3:15 pm
#261

This is my favourite one... not a merchant one but CH.


Customer: hey can you train my pet fo me

Me: sure i can, where abouts are you

Customer: outside the starport
*goes to star port* (i was and still am gaining ch xp, so i want all the xp i can get)

Customer: can you train it mount for me plzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Me: ...its... a durni.

Customer: is that good?

Me: no... it has an 85 HAM

Customer: so can it be a mount?

Me: its a rabbit with no eyes, look at it, would you feel safe sitting on it?

Customer:Do you have any pets for sale then?

Me: yes actually, i have some nice BE non CH banthas with a 2.5k-3k HAM

Customer: oh cool i will take one of those

Me: *trains* thats hmm.. xxx credits, but cause you are new ill do it for xxx-2k credits

Customer: oh i thought you ment free... i cant afford that

Me: sorry i have to buy these froma supplier too

Customer: but you are rich, you are a creature handler

Me: ...

Customer: can i have it for free?

Me: sorry im still shocked about your previous comment

Customer: why? can i plz??

Me: Yes, i need the room in my datapad and you made me laugh.



That is true, not word for word, i never copied and pasted the convorsation




Jedi-to-be
SioBabble
Mon May 03, 2004 4:39 pm
#262






Manmas-Fin wrote:


Customer: but you are rich, you are a creature handler

Me: ...







What is truly frightening is that there are n00bs who actually belive this.


CHs ceased to be rich the instant vehicles came out.




Tazz vonMannstein Baron-Administrator of Corellia, master navigator of Corellia, captain of the Gregarious Gurreck

Sio Babble MBH/MCH/Cabana Boy; master of Tyson, the GNORT OF DEATH

Jeffn Akbar Nerfed from here to Lok MD/MCM

Zanti Agaesia Bothan MBE, 12 point Master Chef, Havoc Squadron Ace pilot


Vermicious_Knid
Wed May 19, 2004 2:08 pm
#263

I got a profanity laced and horribly misspelled email accusing me of being a holo merchant and advertising things I didn't sell to get people to browse my vendor.


Problem: That character has never used a holo.


Other problem: There was a full page of the product in question on page 2, the n00b idiot didn't know to hit the "next page" button.



I sent back a witty reply and got an apology, then she(he) came and bought a ton of stuff.



Worked out in the end.





-




Every time I log in I'm terrified they changed the game to Dance Dance Revolution without telling anyone after holding a "focus group"

SaseO
Wed May 19, 2004 7:10 pm
#264

its amazing how many ppl dont see the next page button somtimes i wonder if it invisable to non merchants lol there should be a friday feature on just how to use the vendor/bazzaar system.



Saderonith Master Rifleman Master Ranger
One true Talusian Wookie
Zennobea
Wed May 19, 2004 11:34 pm
#265

Logging on to Valcyn Server:

Customer: Thief, Fraud!

Me: ?

Customer: Your a ripoff 50k credits entry fee and no vendor inside?

Me: (checking my inventory for cash as I'm broke usually it should show) (Yep 50k more than there shoud be)
Run to the control panel in my manufacturing lab house with the sign that says,

"Store Name
Manufacturing Lab

Vendor at xxx xxxx"

Vendor Loc is 2 2 buildings over.
(Bank Tipped his money back)

Customer: Oh thanks

Me: Sorry for that I was trying out the entry fee to see if admins could enter and forgot to remove it.

Customer: Whatever.

Customer: I'm going to the boards now.


Just wondering would anyone else pay 50k for the minimun time to go in an unknown building looking for a vendor?
SeaRaptor
Thu May 20, 2004 7:08 am
#266






SaseO wrote:
its amazing how many ppl dont see the next page button somtimes i wonder if it invisable to non merchants lol there should be a friday feature on just how to use the vendor/bazzaar system.







YES! I would pay cold, hard cash for this.


Here wasa good one from last night:


random.loser: can u mak me good stun baton?
me: I've got a vendor full of them. Need a waypoint?
random.loser: oh those are decent I need something better (Note: My stun batons are top-of-the line, and just as good as every other master's on the server.)
random.loser: can u use a geo core or sumthing?
me: No. The only enhancer for stun batons is Acklay bones. I don't do custom work, any Acklay batons I make will be auction pieces. See my web site at http://members.cox.net/felkel for more info on my in-game auctions. The last one sold for 1.6 million I believe. (Hoping to scare him off with the price.)
random.loser: what about lightweight vibro untis?
me: Didn't I just say that Acklay bones were the only way to enhance a stun baton?
random.loser: hmm
random.loser:
i guess


You guess? Guess what? I guess you're a freaking idiot is what I guess. /backhand smacktard


Why do people constantly second-guess master crafters? I mean, would you try to tell Barry Bonds he doesn't know how to play baseball? Or Tom Clancy that he doesn't know how to write? C'mon people, this is what I do, I know what the hell I'm talking about here.




Felton Kel
Master Weaponsmith, FelKel LTD Weaponsmiths

Old weaponsmiths never die, they buy a planet and retire in luxury.
Now on MMORadio - Where Gamers ROCK!
DingoBoi
Thu May 20, 2004 5:17 pm
#267

This is a brief description of a sad interaction i had with one of my new employees in my power corp. A citizen of our city who had been bugging me for a while to work forus. We were just setting him up with 8 fusions to harvest for us. It's *almost* funny.


Me: (explains the whole process, that we need alll the harvies named, turned on and admin granted so i can add maint right away)

Employee: kewl

(We place them all and begin renaming them/granting admin to me so I can add maint.. aftter the 3rd one...)

Employee: I've got to go.

Me: I need admin on all these, they don't have maint and will decay.

Employee: I've got to go.

Me: I really need admin on these now, they will decay since they have no maintenance.

Employee: I've got to go. My mom is making me. I'm just a kid (he's 14 if found out later)

Me: This is unacceptable. If you have to go, then go, first thing when you log back in is to grant me admin.


2 days later, I see him online again and /tell him

Me: Have you granted admin yet?

Employee: No, I've been busy on Dantooine grinding marksman.

Me: The harvesters are decaying. I need admin now.

Employee: I'll do it tonight.

(he finally did to all but one, which decayed and poofed after more mails to him to grant admin- important to note that when he logged back in he was AT the harvesters and could have easily granted admin right then) I maint harvesters and turn remaining ones on.


A week later after cycle just ended:

Me: (reading email message) I moved my harvesters here.

So I proceed to go check the harvesters at that waypoint.. only one is named and admin granted

Me: Did you collect the resources?

Employee: No

Me: If you didn't collect the resources before moving them, they were destroyed.

Employee: Really? Will I still get paid for them?

Me: um.. .no.. you won't.

Employee: why not?

Me: because you destroyed them when you moved the harvesters without being told to (they aren't supposed to do anything until told to move) Why you even moved them i have no idea because we were at an 89% spot and you moved them to a 13% spot.

Employee: I didn't know. but they are decaying and need maint.

Me: Well, rename them so i can find them again and grant admin so I can maint.

Employee: Ok, can I still work for you?

Me: zzzzzzzz


Still having a soft spot for the stupid and being frustrated at this point after losing 1.4M from the power and the lost harvester), I just didn't want to deal with this at the moment. So I generate our employee earnings report for the cycle and mail it out to our 17 employees or so with his earnings of -1.4M


Employee: Jerk

Me: Excuse me?

Employee: You aren't paying me! Why aren't you paying me?

Me: Because you cost me 1.4 million in lost sales and the harvester plus the maintenance.

Employee: It wasn't my fault.

Me: Who's fault was it?

Employee: I don't have 1.4M to pay you, That's why I was working for you because I'm broke. Can i still work for you?

Me: Return your harvesters to my vendor.

Employee: they need maintenance, they are decaying.

Me; Add me to admin so i can add maint and then return them. I cannot lose any more money over this.

Employee: But can't I still work for you?

Me: zzzzz


End story: The harvesters were never admin'd and decayed.


Post script:

Employee: Can I work for you still? I need money!

Me: /ignore


Players name was, and, oh the irony, cashmoney cool.


total losses: about 2.6M


Lesson Learned: If you sense trouble, (which I did at first) end the deal right then.


*Eclipse Power Corporation is a 'megacorp' in the power business on the Eclipse Galaxy. We are the largest and oldest power provider and have about 60M units of power in stock from 4 locations across the galaxy. Eclipse Power Corporate employs up to 26 people per cycle to harvest power (these are active players) and one of our branches is a franchise handled independently just sharing our name (hey, we still help out the new guys.. even gave them 10 fusions to get them started and sharing our name broadens our rep and that has worked out well, plus we cannot expand further beyond the 3 core planets of tat, naboo, corellia) Business was projected to be approx 1 to 1.5 billion credits in 2004. This was projected in January. Due to downturn in sales due to losing a major WS on our server and hologrind changes, We are now projecting 850M in sales in 2004, which will put us squarely at the 1Billion sales mark at January 1, 2005









~ EPC SHIPYARDS ~
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Premium Ships & Components Featuring 5 Master Shipwrights * Powering the Eclipse Galaxy
u A R B O R E A L H O R I Z O N S u L A R G E S T S H I P Y A R D S I N T HE G A L A X Y u Naboo -6500 3300u
u M E G A C O R P u P O W E R u Talus -546 -2767u
DingoBoi
Thu May 20, 2004 5:18 pm
#268


dup post

Message Edited by DingoBoi on 05-20-2004 11:18 PM



~ EPC SHIPYARDS ~
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Premium Ships & Components Featuring 5 Master Shipwrights * Powering the Eclipse Galaxy
u A R B O R E A L H O R I Z O N S u L A R G E S T S H I P Y A R D S I N T HE G A L A X Y u Naboo -6500 3300u
u M E G A C O R P u P O W E R u Talus -546 -2767u
Tavtrin
Fri May 21, 2004 12:38 am
#269

Oh I guess you didn't know they are best friends with master crafters who sell things for 1/4 of your prices but are never online



Trin Tavtrin
Proud Member Of RGU
Wanderhome

Vrond
Fri May 21, 2004 5:34 pm
#270


I run a series of Armor shops and read this thread from time to time to pick me up when I hae delt with one of our charming customers. The other day my combat main was running around doing the harvestor run for me (i have no combat skills at all so I have a thug alt do all my gathering after i do my dreaded surveys). A fellow dressed in a new scout outfit began to follow me saying only 3k.


Not may I have, not can you help me please, not even Give me!Just 3k.


I did not reply continued to get my steel and ran back to the main shop to drop it off the scout still following me . When I got inside the shop he followed in and looked around a bit then started to spam 20k over and over.


I left the shop and headed out of town with the scout in tow still saying 20 k when i saw a rocky mound. I put my armor on and ran over to it an gave it a good wack with my pike and low and behold 6 nargalatches popped out. After a short intense fight there where 6 dead spiked cats and one devoured scout and i was able to finish my harvestor run in peace.





Vrond Novawolf
Get onboard the Falcon kid this game is gonna blow
mhal9000
Tue May 25, 2004 6:29 am
#271

Ahhh, I love this thread.






Federated Resources
Hork Haggis, Retired

jaybee2003
Thu Jun 10, 2004 1:12 pm
#272


Heh yeah this is a great thread. As a Master Doc, I really dont getany complaints, but just when you thought there were no more noobs in the game....(I finally get a worthy converstion to post here :smileyvery-happy


PlayerX: Hey man, my buddy said you sell all types ofmedicine on your vendor.


Me: Yes I do, would you like the WP?


PlayerX: No, I'm standing in front of your vendor right now man.


Me: (puzzled) OK, anything specific you need? That vendor should be fully stocked.


PlayerX: Dude, Im going to a huge battle and need lots of stuff that can cure poison.


Me: I should have plenty of CurePosion C packs on there.


PlayerX: How many you got on there man?


Me: Ummm....Should be a lot like over 50 I think - arent you looking at the vendor?


PlayerX: There aint any there dude, whats the deal?


Me: (sigh) Hit the NEXT PAGE button on the vendor please.


5 minutes of silence


PlayerX: Dude, this aint gonna work man, I need lots of this stuff and dont have the space for all these.


Me: I had some crates up there they must have sold, I'm sorry I'll have to make somemore tomorrow.


PlayerX: C'mon man **edit**! I have a HUGE battle and I need lots of this stuff nad I need it now dude!


PlayerX: Look, I'll give you 200K for a crate of these things now.


Me: Look, its not that easy, I have to make a factory run, and Im on Lok right now.


Me: Making even one crate in a factory would probaly take 1-2 hours.


PlayerX: OK check this out, Ill buy all these and you just come down here and put them in a crate for me.


puzzled again


PlayerX: Dude, just get down here, Ill buy 50singles and pay you 100K to stuff them in a crate for me I have to go fight.


now Im laughing


Me: Well...it doesnt work that way, you can't put things into a crate.


PlayerX: Look man, why are you such a lazy liar, theres tons of sh!t on this vendor in crates, just hook me up.


Me: You cant put single items in a crate, only a factory can and I told you that would take 1-2 hours.


PlayerX: WEll I dont have that long I need them NOW MAN.


5 minute pause again


PlayerX: Ok man, I'll pay you 250K freaking credits to get down here and do this for me man - you just gotta crate them for me.



Well, sadly I had to go out to dinner so a /logo; /quit; happened next....but my first really entertaining customer!


Message Edited by jaybee2003 on 06-10-2004 04:14 PM








The next shuttle will be ready to board in 9 minutes and 59 seconds...
Cendatinea
Fri Jun 11, 2004 5:02 pm
#273

OMG!!! ROTFLOL!!! Can I use these?





SunLao wrote:

"But if you make me a deal, I'll buy it from you."
- I don't even have the item to offer. I'm sorry
"Well go get one! Then you can sell it to me. Duh!"
- Tell you what, I'll go buy it from [player name], add a 20% shipping charge to it, and then sell it to you for a 10% discount off the total.
"Cool, when can I get it"
- [sound of blaster fire]







Blode wrote:


And now when anyone starts to talk to me in dewd speak I tell them I am without my Protocol Droid and unalbe to interpret thier language---and could they please speak common english? They either laugh and spell things out proper, or they get added to my ignore list after they pitch a temper tantrum LOL.







SaseO wrote:
the next time you get a /tell about where is your good stuff just /tell them its a a diffrent shop on tat and give them the wp for the greater pit of however you spell it . then when you get a nasty /tell back from them just /tell them damn it that thing ate my merchant tent again thats the third time this week lol





I am sitting here, falling out of my chair laughing at this thread. On the one hand, it is comforting to know that idiots are the same server-wide on every server. On the other hand, it's just sad that there are THIS MANY people out there with such low intelligence. It's pretty pathetic when you think about it. They probably don't even realize we talk about them.


Thank you all for the laughs!




Lady Derianadai Hirunmil
"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands."
Passing out tackle hugs to the whole galaxy!


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