Game Guides Archive

Update #2. See 2nd page.

Architect:

I always liked the word, Architect. Kinda makes me want to create something. I've got a few things to say about the lines, and I think they are more valuable then everyone's lives.

Furniture:

I love furniture! My house has furniture in it! And my real life house has furniture in it, too. Since when does an architect create furniture? Kind of reminds me of when I went to a Chinese restauraunt with my girlfriend and she orderd chicken chow mein, and I ordered fries and a hamburger. She glared at me as I ate my stir-fried fries, and then threw my hamburger down on the floor because I was vegetarian. I don't know why she was mad at me.

Factories:

I hate factories. They make me think of grey, and all of the architect factories have grey on them. Why can't I have a EXCITING factory, unique from the others. Something like... green, or red. I want a RED factory, it would remind me of a dev's name on the forums. Speaking of the forums, one time I was walking down the street, and I saw a red car, it caught my eye, and I thought about how nice yoghurt would be at that time. Damnit, off-topic again.

Houses:

My, I love houses! I LIVE in a house. Houses usually have roofs, and balconies, but SWG houses don't have many balconies. I want a balcony on my house, and a Indian Tandoori oven on it, too. I once made some bread in my house, as a chef, in SWG, and then I gave it to the person that came in the door. Her name was Taniari, and she gave it to her pet. I got really mad, and gave her some more bread, and we repeated the process over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, because she had many pets, and I wanted to feed her, not the pets. I thought that she liked the pets more than me, which made me really really mad, so I kept feeding her pets, and when she finally got to herself she didn't want any. Wow, she was so mean.

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COMMANDO:

I like commando, they have really really really big guns, and I like really really really big guns. Having really big guns is fun. Below are reflections about commando.

Flamethrower:

I LIVE to see flamethrowers. They remind me of flowers, and yellow. Especially yellow. Did you know that when I see people shoot flamethrowers, I lag a lot? That is such a good tactic for Commandos. Use your flamethrower to kill people with lag. I was once on this hunting party for Krayts, and I had a commando in my group. He used his flamethrower, and my screen started lagging so badly that I asked him if he wanted to go eat some eggs after the fight, and then he said yeah, so I was happy.

Grenades:

Same as the flamethrower, except that this time they remind me of black. Don't ask me why... I mean black as in Darth Vader black, or Mozart black. Not black people. I don't get it. Why do people call black people black? They aren't black! Their skin is colored darker than white people's. White people shouldn't even be called white people! That's racist! They're PEACH! Wait a minute, racist is for races, and white and black isn't really a race, so it should be called skin-ist. Also, what's up with white and black movies? They used to be called black and white movies, but now they changed the name around. Damn. Off topic again.

Acid Rifle:

I wish it would shoot out bigger projectiles. I mean, the gun is ENORMOUS, but you get this thing that's smaller than the wasp emotes on Tatooine. Why can't ID'ers get wasp emotes? They get a "hornet's nest" emote, but that's really ugly, and reminds me of yellow, which brings me back to flamethrowers, which brings me back to lag. I hate lag. There are two kinds of lag, screen lag, and connection lag. Once I was talking to a friend on SWG, and she's like "Hey! What's up!" And then I had just started a duel with a commando friend, and we were talking in tells, and I wanted him to blow me up with grenades, so I typed /r, and I was like "Blow me", not realizing that I was talking to her. And she's like "What?" and I'm like /r "Oops, I'm sorry. I ..." then I hit enter by accident, and I guess the message didn't go through, so I finished the sentance and said "Suck it", but I really meant to write "I suck at it [typing]", so she got really mad, and put me on ignore, so then I had to go burst run circles around her, which she didn't like.

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JEDI:

I like jedi. Jedi like me. I'm not a BH, I don't even have a profession, but I like jedi. Below are reflections on Jedi.


-Healing

I like jedi being able to heal, healing is good. Sometimes it reminds me of stepping on leaves in summertime. Its not exactly like leaves in fall, but its all green, and never makes a sound, so you can step on the leaf, and never hear a thing. Speaking of leaves, why can't we just leave the planet that our BH comes on. Speaking of BHs, I once talked to a BH friend, and he said that jedi have LIGHTSABERS. And can block shots. Did I just start a sentance with and? You should never start a sentence with and. You just can't do it. Its grammartically incorrect. Being grammatically incorrect is wrong because it reminds me of black, and I don't really like black. Not black people, I like black people, in fact, I once had a black girlfriend who brought me to her house, and I asked her if she wanted to go into her room, and she nodded at me, then she got down on her bed... and guess what I did? I did EXACTLY what she wanted me to do. I hopped on the bed beside her, and whipped out two laptops, so we could play SWG together. Before she had said that she HATED SWG, but I think she was lying. Now, she's a master dancer, and master ID.

-Lightsaber

I hate lightsabers. Why? They can't be rainbow colored. I wish my lightsaber could be multicolored. Can double-sided lightsabers be multicolored? As in one side pink, and the other, red? I always wanted a red lightsaber, but noooo, Meyree's theroy said that I had to do quests, and NOT get my lightsaber until later. I thought, screw Meyree! Her name sounded like an Indian dish, like Malala Dosas, which reminded me of the time I FIRST saw a jedi. I was like "!!!" and he was like "???" and I was like "!?!" and he was like "..." so then I got really mad and started to burst run around him in circles, while listening to Mozart, which is really the worst classical music. I don't like classical music at all, but I listen to it because 20 years ago, ny parents told me it was good for my brain. They also told me milk was good for my brain, and I didn't believe them until I saw Neo drinking milk in the Matrix, and then I drank milk all the time because, do you remember in the movie when he flies back? I wanted to do that, because it looked like a B-Wing. B-wings always make me think of grey. Don't ask why.
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BOUNTY HUNTER:

My thoughts on BH:

The Name:

I never liked the name Bounty Hunter, I always wanted to to be named Person Hunter. It sounded more blue than brown. I don't know why Bounty Hunter always makes me think of brown lighting. Wouldn't it be neat to have something called "A Light Brown-Lightning Gun"? I always wanted one.


Investigation:

I don't like the term Investigation, I like "Going around and Shooting People." Investigation makes me think of pink, I don't know why. Pink isn't a nice color, I mean, neon pink is completely crazy when thinking of lightsabers. Another note on lightsabers, they should have pink enabled. Why? So an ID can make their hair pink to match with the lightsaber, and that'll make the BH fall in love with the jedi. Ahh, screw it. I'm off topic again.

Pistols:

Pistols is even worse. Makes me think of puke green. And our big twirly stick thingie, the launcher pistol? Makes me think of a Petriweight Revolver. I NEVER liked the Petriweight Revolver. I wanna nice, big pistol, that dosen't really look like a pistol, but it should look like a pistol a LITTLE, but not so much as SMALL as a pistol. I want a huge pistol.

Carbines:

I HATE carbines. They remind me of dark blue. Kinda like navy blue, although more blue. High HAM costs? PAH! I LIKE high HAM costs. It turns the blue, red, and green bars into more white, and white > all. Speaking of white, I hope the Jedi get nerfed. Our carbines should be able to shoot blue, then make the jedi die of controvertial-ness.

LLC:

I like the LLC! Its a big gun, and impresses the newbies. Its kinda like a lightning zapper, but it has a lot of lightning coming out of it. My only complaint about this is that I DON'T SEE THE LIGHTNING ENOUGH! I want to see MORE lightning. I used to be afraid of lightning when I was a kid, and it comforts me to know that I can see the lightning on the screen. Since the lightning is blue lightning, I really like it. Blue is a good color, but not when associated with carbines.

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SPICES

I love spices! They remind me of sugar and pink. I think that pink is a really nice color when combined with sugar, because I put sugar in my coffee, and it makes my coffee taste good. When I saw that I couldn't do experimentation on spices, I was really happy, because experimenting with pink is bad. If you make pink into blue, it turns blue, which is a bad color for spices. Blue reminds me of Corellia when it rains, and that's not good, because I have a huge hole in front of my Corellian house, and sometimes it gets acid rain in there, and acid rain reminds me of green, which makes me think of white stormtroopers, then I run out of my house screaming because I don't like stormtroopers, and I go to Ogun, the mayor, who told me to stop running out of my house screaming when he's getting new recruits. Whatever, he's just a mean old grump. He dosen't have any big hole in front of his house. He lives in a PA hall, which reminds me of grey gabaki.

UNDERWORLD

I like the underworld line! It makes me think of living underground, and how black it would be down there. I think that if SWG could let us live underground, it would make everyone happier, because the air down there is really clean, and there are bugs down there. The bugs are black, and really don't do much, except for run around, but this time, since people would set up harvies down there, they would mutate, and turn into green bugs. I like the languages that you can learn in the underworld line, because its good to understand languages. Once, when I traveled to Ethiopia, I said "Hey!" to a native girl, and she was like "Hey!" back, and I was like "Hey!" and then she was like "Hey?" and then I was like "Hey!" and she's like "S-T-F-U", then I was like "Hey!" So then we ran away from each other, because I think she thought that I was walking too fast. Its good to learn langauges because its good to learn stuff.

SLICING

Slicing stuff is good. Once, I sliced some bread for my mom, and I told her that I had really improved it, by like 35% effectiveness, and she was really mad at me, I don't know why... I used a thing called a clam shell, which looked like a molecular clamp to slice it, and she got really mean about it, I don't know why. I once tried slicing an ATM with a butter knife, but the person pressing buttons pushed me away, and I called them a noob. GO ME! Those kind of people remind me of the kind of people that are a kind of people that really don't like sharing stuff; so one time, (this year) in my Kindergarden, I was like "You look really great in that dress today. Can I try it on?" and she's like "Yeah, sure." and then the teacher's like "omg u fagz plz put de drez bak on plz datz rlly not kewl." And I'm like "Yeah, whatever, wanna go play some SWG and hold my hand?" and she's like "Okay." Then I sliced something for her character, and she really liked SWG can then got a account and created an image designer, and now she's like "You so rock. I love doing people's hair." and I'm like "I'm not a rock! You're a rock!" and then we fall over laughing and she lies down next to me and I'm like "Wanna get some applesauce?" and then we go and have a sleep over and she asks me if I want to get up at midnight and play SWG, 'cuz she brought her laptop, and I'm like "COOL!" and I end up sleeping in the same bed, with our laptops right beside us. It was really cool, because we both had all our normal clothes on, along with our sweaters, because it was cold in the room, and we had curled up together.
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Message Edited by PrObLeMs on 09-21-2004 06:32 AM

Message Edited by PrObLeMs on 09-22-2004 01:32 AM

Message Edited by PrObLeMs on 09-24-2004 08:51 PM

To the person that one-starred me:

Who do you think you are? If you don't like my post, post about it. People like you remind me of orange. Sickly, dark, orange. Normally orange isn't dark, but in your case it is. I once talked to a one starrer sounding person, and he asked me to slice his Kaadu. I mean come on... SLICE... A KAADU? I told him that he should talk to a BE, and he's like "Noooo, slice my scout blaster then. I want a good slice!" I'm like "I have no control over the slice." and he's like "I want a good dmg slice." And I'm like "I CAN'T CONTROL IT!" and he's like fine, fine, fine, I'll take a speed slice. But I want a good speed slice! And I'm like "I CAN'T CONTROL IT!" He's like. Whatever, just slice the damage. I don't want speed anyway.

I sliced it for 35% speed. He got pissed. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE LIKE, MR. ONE-STARRER!

Bump. I DESERVE to be at the top.

Wonderful thread - 5* for you! Made me chuckle all the way through - who said we have to be serious in here!?

Bump. I RULE.