Dancer Archive
Thread: Erotic Dance Guide Part One
And while I'm quite sure that some will disagree with my characterization of men and my analysis of their reactions PLEASE give it a rest. Send me a scathing PM which I will prolly ignore and leave this thread for those Interested in the subject. If my analysis is faulty so be it. It STILL serves as a good rule of thumb for Erotic Dancer.
So..........
Erotic dance is a dance style whose Intent is to Arouse the watcher sensually.
Sounds simple enough I guess but that means more than it seems at first glance.
The most Powerful Sexual mechanism in the body is the Brain!! Far exceeding any other in its potency and power. Erotic dance targets the watcher's brain. And it is the Brain that we are trying to affect.
We do so using Imagery. How do we manifest that imagery? Through sight and through words. We combine Visual and Verbal cues to creates Images and Visualizations; to lead the watcher on a journey that WE lead and direct until we terminate it in such a way that the watcher feels that he has participated in something with you. That he has shared a time of... intimacy with you even though it is totally public and in the middle of a Cantina floor with many others watching and every thing said has been said publically.
The Visuals:
These are fairly limited due to what we have to work with:
-Dance style (The SYLE you choose Really plays LITTLE part in the overall affect as long
as it is basically pleasant to watch and doesn'y compromise your
positioning i.e. avoid poplock, footloose, formal )
-Flourishes (Simple rule...DON'T!!! It destroys your positioning, makes it hard to MOVE
when needed and may leave you exhausted and Sitting in the middle of a
routine!)
-Turns (Using the Chase camera or 1st person to turn without stopping your dance)
-Non-dance moves (such as Emotes, sitting, crawling, kneeling and others)
-Outfits and Changes of outfits during a performance (obvious)
-Positioning (Contrary to popular belief lap dancing is terrible. Sit on the floor and
then have someone dance for you while YOU are in 1st person view. Keep
having them get closer. At a certain point the Lighting effect fails and
the dancer is effectively in darkness from the 1st person view. The most
EFFECTIVE distance is what appears to be about 4-5 feet beyond where they
are sitting. MANY men move to 1st person view during an Erotic Dance)
The Verbals
Here it becomes more complex and I wont try to go into much detail yet but broadly they break down into the following.
Emotionally Loaded Words
Double Entendre
Personalizations
-Specific Words
Want, Take, Need, Use, Make, Share are a few examples of words that have strong Emotional Loading in some contexts and CAN have such loading even in a seemingly Neutral context if the Overall context is non-neutral.
What I mean by that is that while the statement 'You Want me... to dance closer?' or 'You wouldn't Make me.. change outfits would you?' are quite neutral statements when taken on their own. But in the context of an Erotic Dance with the words accented with simple caps or with correct timing, those words CAN take on the MUCH more stronger emotional loading that they would have in a more..intimate setting and can create imagery and suggestion that is Very powerful to most men. And example is below n the section on Double meanings
-Double Meanings or Double Entendre
For instance Asking a watcher whether they want you to dance facing Towards them or Away from them?
You could say 'Which way should I dance? Facing Towards you or Away from you?'
Or you could say
'Which way do you Want me...?'
'From the ...front?" (followed by a turn to face away)
'or from.. behind?"
A combination of Strong emotional loading on the word WANT followed by simple, neutral questions in the context of the Erotic Dance can create Intensely strong imagery in the man's mind. The imagery involved in this case is too obvious to need further explanation. Laugh!
Personalizations
The words you use to refer to the specific individual or individuals towards whom your dance is directed. Lover, Sweetie, Real man, Man, Strong, Powerful, Shy, etc.
These are the words that you will use in reference to THEM as opposed to yourself or for purposes of imagery generation. Their purpose is to momentarily enhance their self image, to make it plausible and acceptable in their mind that a beautiful dancer would dance for THEM personally and choose THEM over other men in the room and initiate a seemingly intimate conversation with them. This opens the mind to the rest of what you say. It does away with the immediate thought that many men have that he is merely a Random choice of targets and suggests that you CHOSE him over all the others around him. YOUR approval of him and Choice of him creates an immediate intimacy at an emotional level. This leads to the question of how you clarify what appears to be a Personal desire for that individual as you end the dance. We'll tackle that issue on Dance Termination later
So, these are the Basic tools we use to performa Erotic Dance.
Perhaps it sounds too... Cold? Too... Clinical? Too.. Impersonal?
Keep in mind that you are Performing. You are Creating a piece of ART. A painter may create a beautiful stirring painting that moves you and affects you. But he did so by dealing with the technical issues of brush selection, canvas preparation, paint mixing, color wheels, thinnners, paint compatibilities, etc.
Dance IS a technical art and if you choose to NOT deal with the technical issues involved, to Understand them, to Use them effectively, then your success will be totally random and trial and error.
While they may seem to take the Romance, the Eroticism away, once you understand them they become second nature and simply part of your dance. Fail to understand them and you lose a crucial tool.
If you have any questions or what I tried to say is not clear please ask and I'll try to explain more clearly.
Thank you much for sharing your experience with us.
Hereunto I have a little question.
How do you steer the reaction of the customer, not to react all to simple?
What I mean is, most men seem not to be very inventively in contact with erotic dancing. Often (or nearly always)they destroy the fancy (or imagination?) while being much to directly and not apposite.
They start to "kiss you on the lips", "lick you" ........
Now It is difficult for me to bring them back to the watcher role (especially cause my english is not the best).
Sometimes I say things like: " better you watch your tongue, I have a long knife" followed with a "wink" and pull out shortly my sword. But this is a bit martially I think,even if I get a lough for this. And seldom it stops the guy.
I know, I have the advertence now, and can play a bit with them, but its tofew erotic insuch reactions, cause it is started much to carnal now.
And often it comes to negative reaction by other audience, who say "stop this pornographic carp", and two times I was the reason for a cantina brawl 
.
I hope I could make it knowledgeably for you, what I guess.
---------------------
Aniella (Gorath)
Although i would like to hear FlawedDiamonds take on this i will tell you what i do when something like this occurs.
First of if they even do this they already are swept up in what you are doing, You have to be controlling without sounding violent. Normally what i do in this situation. Is i stop dancing for a moment, and change my mood to /mood lustful and say tsk tsk to them, it makes me wag my finger at them in a sexy kind of way.
I use emotes to steer it away from where they are going. Perhaps i might say something like oooo you bad boy! and use my emote to say 
layfully nudges %TT back "Lets not get too riled up there sexy we don't want it over too quickly do we?" /giggle
Most times if your forceful without being forceful sounding it backs them down, and you can continue. I think most men know enough that NO means NO even if it is playful.
I havent had this type of thing fail on me, of course you can expound on my example, and make your own.
Hope this helps a bit, and Flawed i would like to hear your take on this.
Syl
Thought I'd add my 2 cp to this as well just to give various points of view.
The other thing I've found I can do when someone is getting a little too familiar is to blush. To play the innocent role, surprised that someone I've just met would be so intimate as to lick or kiss me on the lips. Playing coy tends to encourage some men, like I'm just playing hard to get, and they should just try harder.
I had someone actually say to me once, and it was a perfect opportunity, "Dressed like that and moving that way, you BLUSH when I kiss you?"
I quickly changed my mood to "surprised" (I think it was... they didn't have one for "Umm yeah" mood. ). Responded back something to the effect of "Yes, handsome, you caught me off guard with your intimacy. I guess you were enjoying my dance more than I realized." I winked at him, followed it up by "I'll have to remember not to wiggle quite so much in the future if you're around if that's the effect I'm going to have.", follow it up with a smile, perhaps a few self made emotes, and tone it down to a less seductive dance for a bit, and you'll have him eating out of your hand to get back to the OLD moves.
Most men are easy to turn. 
Be playful with them, but get your message across as well. Whether that messages is "Hands off, eyes on only", or something more.
Often if they are someone I have NOT dancer for before I'll tell 'Honey you sit RIGHT and DON'T move and I'l dance for YOU!'
With guys I have seen often I will often send them a TELL with something like 'Hon I need you to stay sitting or you'll Ruin my dance'
If they get completely non-cooperative I simply stop and walk away and say something like 'Sorry dear if you won't let me dance for you properly then I'll go dance for someone else.' Usually OTHER people get the message very quickly.
Pretty much the same methods if they start getting explicit. I try hard to stay in control of the conversation at all times. I tend to use YES and NO questions most of the time or ones with pretty obvious answers that somewhat restrict the line of the their responses. 'You don't mind..Sharing me with xxxx now do you?' If they start to respond in other ways I always have anohter question ready for them to lead them where I want and AWAY from where THEY tend to go.
MY style is very forward and assertive. That lets me be direct and commanding. Eiloo's style is the shy, weak girl needing protection and her responses are more in the manner of 'Oh that embarasses me so much I don't know if I can keep dancing for you.' or something along that line.
In so many words it 'Behave or I stop.'
And DON'T hesitate to stop for someone. And if its tips you're concenred about I'll tell you right out that MOST of the tips you get will be from the OTHER people watching you. NOT the one for whom you are dancing!!
The men watching get a vicarious thrill from the dance you're doing and often the target of your dance will be so flustered and focused on your dance that afterwards they will completely FROGET to tip you. Laugh!
If they DO start making unruly comments I'll usually gently scold them with something like 'Oh you're too much of a Gentleman to make Crude comments hon.' or 'Oh I don't Like men that speak crudely.' The implication being that they are losing my approval.
I will sometimes send a Tell like 'Okay lover lets not be crude. I don't LIKE crudeness.'
And if all else fails, Stop. Walk away. I have NO hesitation about terminating a dance and walking away if someone becmes explicit and crude. And I usually let them know my displeasure.
'I'd don't DANCE for men who speak to me so crudely!' or 'I only like Sophisticated Men dear. Sorry. YOU don't measure up.'
Again You prolly won't have any effect on THAT individual but others will get the message and give you less trouble.
The ket again is to STAY in CONTROL. DON'T let them set your pace or the direction of your patter. YOU control it. Most men WILL cooperate. If they choose not to after you've become increasingly clear with them then STOP. Walk away.
Thanks a lot. You all helped me much.
You gave me good keywords andsome ideas to handle such situations much better, I done before.
Its just difficult for me to give quick fiting answers, cause I have no time to search in dictonarys like now .
I know now that I am to passive in most cases. I am also the shy weak type of girl (reaching a wookie barly over his belt ). And the sword in my hand looks not very menacingly more like I cut myself in my finger soon. (Iseldom used it without being alone in the wilderness and never in Cantina, I have to safe my role as to have to be defended girl).
Oh and that my main "victim" often forgot to pay, made mesometimes a bit indignant cause I felt somehow exploited. I never concerned your side of view here. But it makes sense.
--------------------------
Aniella (Gorath)
Some addendum from my own experience: It's important to head Flawed's words, because as (female) Dancers we wield a great deal of power over men's fantasies. That power can be easily misused, resulting in long-term hassle for you, the Dancer, who opened Pandora's box.
I'm a grown woman who thought she understood the male psyche long ago, but I'm here to tell you that it never ceases to surprise me. One would think that in an anonymous pretend-world, harmless flirting would be harmless, correct? Normally it is. But there are those 1 in 100 men (boys?) who will attach more meaning to your attentions than you meant. They will pursue you in email, follow you to various cantinas and feign their love and admiration for you.
I suppose we should bring Jodie Foster in to give us a seminar on handling stalkers
, but it boils down to this - using FD's outline conscientiously, keeping it light while also giving your target warm fuzzies, you will reduce the chance of finding your own John Hinckley. In the worst cases, you will just have to find a way to bluntly tell them you aren't interested in a relationship with them and ask them to stop following you.Re: Emotes. The obvious /wink, /blush, /giggle tend to get overused. Add to them:
/demure (you blush shyly)
/innocent (you try to look innocent)
/blow (you blow in their ear)
I have my own /emote for wink that removes the "suggestively" for those times when I'm trying to keep the situation under control -- "wink suggestively" tends to suggest that I'm interested in more than just dancing with them. Try: "/emote winks coyly at %TT" or similar.
If they get too far out of line, there's always /hose
Your style will somewhat determine the way you handle them. I am fortunate in that my style is one of a Strong and Assertive women who CHOSES to submit. That allows me to become Stern and Cold when necessary. Eiloo has a harder time and has to be more... imaginative in how she handles it becuase to become stern or cold is at odds with her submissive style and can easily break the mood of her dance.
But NEVER hesitate to STOP and walk away if you start to lose control. To do otherwise signals your willingness to BE abused and mistreated and once you start that then you DO have a problem!
I know that sounds odd in one sense. You are..Submitting yet you remain in control. Within your IMAGERY which you create you ARE being submissive and willing. But enever forget that YOU are in control of the IMAGERY. If you start losing control either REGAIN it FAST or RETREAT!
Very nice thread you have going here. I'm impressed someone took the time to address the issue of eroticism and fantasy for the dancer class. Very well done.
You have4 type's of people that go to cantina's:
1)Those getting there BF and mind wounds healed;
2)Those looking to socialize with other people and have some fun
3)Those looking to watch dancers, harmlessly flirt and roleplay
4)Those looking to cybersex.
I myself fall into the category of 1 and on rare occasions 2. Remember, this is the 4 kind of people you get, in general. (who are not entertainers or selling something).
To guys out there coming to cantina's, if you want to roleplay and engage in an erotic fantasy dance from an entertainer, don't be a retard. She's there to A)get xp, B)Get creds, C)Socialize with friends, D)Have fun. She's not there to get you off. (Unless you get off on watching). There dressed in exotic leotards and skimpy clothing because it's more visually appealing to clients who come into the cantina's. And because they like the way it looks, make's them feel sexy. Feeling sexy is empowering to entertainers.
These dancers don't have feelings for you. Feelings can mature over time, but in general, she's giving you a performance and creating the mood by being flirtatious, erotic, seductive. That's it. You're nothing special, and /kiss /lick makes you look like a jackass more often then not.
Unless she's someone you've been talking to for a while and you both really like each other, don't type retarded crap like /kiss /lick, etc etc. /hand is more appropriate. You kiss her hand, simply, nice, done with.
Don't be an **edit**, don't deluded yourself into thinking they want you or 'dressed like that they really must be horny and want it.' No retard, i told you why they dress like that. It's part of the 'job'. And that's what it is, a Job. You're a client. You think the stripper at the strip club you go to cares for you because she gave you her phone number? No moron, you spend a lot of money. You're her cash cow.
That's it.
Aleksander_Graveheart wrote:want it.' No retard, i told you why they dress like that. It's part of the 'job'. And that's what it is, a Job. You're a client. You think the stripper at the strip club you go to cares for you because she gave you her phone number? No moron, you spend a lot of money. You're her cash cow.
That's it.
There is SOME truth to that. In one sense the guys who come in ARE our customers and we DO make our living from their tips. But there IS more to it.
I make friends with my customers as well. My BFs in-game were men who impressed me with their charm, wit, self-confidence, and strength of character. Mnay of my friends Outside of the cantina are people I met there. I enjoy dancing for a friend MORe than for a stranger becuase I can give pleasue to someone about whom I care rather than for someone about whom I know nothing. With friends I develop a better feel for WHAT affects them and the best WAY to affect them. This makes my dance BETTER and makes it more fun both for THEM and for ME. I take pride in my dance and I get GREAT pleasure and satisfaction out of doing a routine and KNOWING that it was effective and thrilling to the man watching.
Erotic Dance REQUIRES that both parties to participate. The hardest thing to do is work a routine with someone about whom you know NOTHING. You sometimes have NO idea how they are responding and how effective you are being. It is VERY hard to do Erotic Dance well for a total stranger. In those cases I have set patter and lines that I use as I work through it and I can only TRY to judge as it progresses how they are responding and where to go with it. Quite honestly sometimes doing an Erotic Dance for a complete stranger is a complete bust! So always be ready and willing to Laugh at yourself and accept teasing and laughter if you end up being more Humorous than Erotic.
Developing friendships with the guys is also useful in that you CAN ask them questions and get honest and candid evaluations of your performance which helps improve your dance.
Yes flawed, developing friendships can be nice. But you're also creating a false sense of hope in a few of those individuals. Individuals who may 'think' because you're both 'friendly' and talking to each other that there's more to it. These people have serious relationship issues and believe that being 'friendly' on a few occassions means that there's 'sexual' tension between you two.
And more often then not when they realize that's not the case, they get bitter, think they've been 'played' and go on to spend the next few weeks bitching and crying about how all women are evil sirens etc etc etc.
It's pitiful and pathetic, but true. I hope most of you dancers know when to spot that the person you're being friendly with thinks theres more to that smile you just gave him then there really is.
And you also have the 'manipulators'. The one's that know exactly what to say, when to say it, what buttons to push and when to push them. They play on your emotions and manipulate there way into getting what they want from you. Harder to spot, and most of the time by the time you ladies have, he's already gotten what he wanted.
Be carefull with the company you keep ladies. If you invite a snake to your table, don't be surprised when it bites you.
This is such a great thread! I love hearing how different ladies deal with the sexuality of our chosen profession. And i also want to thank you all for keeping this post so mature! my question is this: I assume you all perform in Cantinas with only a few performers?? I am on Kauri server and "live" in Theed... and our cantina typically has 15+ entertainers on a regular basis... sometimes we have more than 20 and have to keep a waiting list to add people to the group! We kind of miss out on this intimate relationship you are describing with our clientelle because it is terribly difficult to keep up such great conversation with so much going on. My advice for people in crowded cantinas like mine is this: remember your regular clientelle and try your darndest to make them feel special. I have 3 or 4 gentlemen that visit our cantina almost everyday, and i make the effort to wave to them and say hello as soon as i see them walk in, preferrably before they spot me. Even though our intimacy rarely becomes erotic in this crowded setting, they still feel as if i was "waiting" for them to arrive, like that's what completes my day is seeing that person and dancing for that person.
As for the "licking" and whatnot that one person mentioned (sorry i'm bad w/remembering names) i've actually found that i get the "kinky" reactions from male performers in the cantina that are aroused with my flirting with the customers more than i get those reactions from the crowd. LOL i guess it just depends on your clientelle well anyway, I tend to babble so i'll shut up now. If you come to my cantina... i'm the one that every other dancer asks "you already got master dancer, why are you still dancing?" and i always reply... "i love to dance!"
Arashi Ise
Master Dancer - Kauri - Theed Cantina
I'm not an entertainer
And i still disagree with the licking. There's not sensual or erotic or alluring when someone you just met runs there tongue over you. Unless you're flirting with them and want it to get physical, you're only degrading yourself as a bag of flesh to be used, abused, and set aside.
It's double standards, you can complain all you like but it's true. We guys can sleep with a girl on the first night and it gives us status, elevates us within our click, makes us 'the man'. You women sleep with a guy on the first night, you're sluts. It's the way it is.
And unless you like being gropped and licked and kissed by strangers, letting them do it gives you a bad image and perpetuates a bad stereotype for the entire entertainer class. That there all "prostitutes". Trust me, i've heard enough people say this in casual conversation while we're hunting on Lok.