Dancer Archive
Thread: Erotic Dance Guide Part One
Aleksander_Graveheart wrote:Yes flawed, developing friendships can be nice. But you're also creating a false sense of hope in a few of those individuals. Individuals who may 'think' because you're both 'friendly' and talking to each other that there's more to it. These people have serious relationship issues and believe that being 'friendly' on a few occassions means that there's 'sexual' tension between you two.
And more often then not when they realize that's not the case, they get bitter, think they've been 'played' and go on to spend the next few weeks bitching and crying about how all women are evil sirens etc etc etc.
Good points. Here are a few of my experiences:
"Player A" - one of the first customers in my dancing career who seemed genuinely nice and paid special attention to me. When he asked me for a private dance and I didn't say 'yes' right away, he assured me he just wanted to talk. And he DID just want to talk. He also tipped well.
But I should have seen the red flags when he said that I was the first person who had treated him well. He turned out to be a smothering, overly-attentive passive/aggressive type. If I didn't answer a /tell immediately, he implied that I didn't want anything more to do with him -- or that I was too busy cybering other customers. When I reminded him that I was married in RL, he acted surprised that I thought his intentions were other than platonic. It got old and I finally just told him not to talk to me anymore -- he went on to do the very same thing to another dancer!
"B" - Sweet guy, very intelligent, who got my attention with the outrageous tips he gave me. But he, too, wanted more than just a dancer/customer relationship. He wasn't happy sharing me with other customers and started demanding that I dance for him rather than the other patrons, even following me from cantina to cantina. This situation hasn't been totally resolved yet, but he's been put on notice that I am NOT interested in an in-game relationship.
"C" - I won't say anything to expose this person because I do like him. He began a business relationship with a small group of us dancers, including myself. After going to great lengths to assure us that it wasn't going to be 'one of those' private cantinas, he then took up a relationship with one of my dancer friends. That didn't work out, and suddenly he began coming on to me -- very clever, nice guy, but his comments are going beyond the business relationship I thought we had. I've tried the gentle rebuke and non-responsiveness but it is quickly escalating to the blunt "No thanks".
The only thing I have done to provoke these problems has been (1) My natural friendliness and openness, which seems to attract the wrong guys like flies. (2) The outfits I wear when I dance, which are no more or less than any other dancer. (I refuse to wear open jackets with no shirt, or the exotic leotard which does not fit my torso correctly). To me they're a tool for my profession but apparently to some guys they are an advertisement for something else.
My point is this. These men are out there, and they can be a real problem at times. But they can also be very hard to spot ahead of time. Along with these 3, I probably have over 30 other players on my friends list who keep things in perspective, we help each other out, and it doesn't go further than the dancer/patron thing. So they are also a minority -- a pesky minority, but not a majority by any means.
To handle this kind of situation one must be firm at times, tempered with the right amount of gentleness. Sooner or later they'll get the message.
Just want to be clear on this part. You roleplay your character as a dancer and we all agree that it is just a game, virtual toons, etc. But, is it your goal to arouse the virtual customer, or the real person sitting at the keyboard? Because, if your customer is a male between the ages of 14 and 91...
It would go hand in hand in my point of view. If you're in a cantina to watch dancers and you request a private dance you're either a great enthusiast of the dancing art or you want to be aroused. Some people just want to watch dancers. And even thought it's only polygons and 3d characters, to some people, it can be arousing if the mood is just right.
Aleksander_Graveheart wrote:
It would go hand in hand in my point of view. If you're in a cantina to watch dancers and you request a private dance you're either a great enthusiast of the dancing art or you want to be aroused. Some people just want to watch dancers. And even thought it's only polygons and 3d characters, to some people, it can be arousing if the mood is just right.
There are a million degrees of 'arousing'. To some men, the Swedish Bikini Team is arousing when they watch beer commercials 
To some men, Pam Anderson's new cartoon on the Men Channel is hot stuff. To others, nothing short of a Hustler magazine layout will trip their trigger.
But the only waya pornographic fantasy can exist in this game is mentally - there aren't the animations or clothing graphics in this game to do more than imagine. (Which is as it should be, and as it was designed).
I really see little difference between my exotic dances in a fleshwrap or revealing bikini and the romping of the Swedish bikini team on TV. They're trying to sell beer to men, I'm trying to convince men to /watch me. It's neither good nor bad, moral nor immoral, it's the reality of how the male mind works. It'sthe materialI have to work with.
But the only waya pornographic fantasy can exist in this game is mentally - there aren't the animations or clothing graphics in this game to do more than imagine. (Which is as it should be, and as it was designed).
I really see little difference between my exotic dances in a fleshwrap or revealing bikini and the romping of the Swedish bikini team on TV. They're trying to sell beer to men, I'm trying to convince men to /watch me. It's neither good nor bad, moral nor immoral, it's the reality of how the male mind works. It'sthe materialI have to work with.
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Well, i personally wouldn't compare a dancer in this game to a sweedish swimming team. A commercial is designed to entice and attract and 'keep' attention for the duration that it runs. It does this by invoking images that capture our imagination...and sex does that better then anything. Like that new Bavaria brazillia beer commercial....*looks shiffty eyed*...umm...come on, you know what i'm talking about guys. Don't know anyone who can change the channel when it comes on.
I'm off track here, what i want to say is that in this game you can't rely as much on visual stimulation. You absolutly must affect the other senses. Like flawed was saying, communicating with the person is a great start. You're not just doing a 15 second commercial, but you are trying to sell a product that people will want to pay for...again and again.
Some dancers i've met have people coming from anywhere in the galaxy to see them dance. Setting the mood as a Dancer is like painting a picture. It takes time to build the framework of the image you want to portray before you begin to see what the picture is going to be.
I hope that made sense to you all. There's a difference between getting a cheap 'pop' out of your client simply because you look good/are dressed in skimpy clothing/are in provocative positions, and giving someone an illusion/fantasy that will have them remembering you for a while to come. Like someone said before, this one dancer had the guy so enraptured he literally didn't respond to anything but her.
The bavaria brazillian beer commercial is nice, but it's not on my mind once it's done. It's visually appealing in the moment, and when it's over i move on. But what i'm saying, ladies, get inside someone's head, play with the circuitry, make it so when your performance is done they have you on there mind...at least for a while. That's when i take my hat off and say "Well done."
Any woman can seduce a guy just by offering sex. She can play any role she likes as long as sex is in the air most guys will worshipping her. Up until they get sex, then your just another notch on the belt. I personally love the women that play the seduction game, romance, flirting. Sure there's always a hint of sex in the air, but, don't let it be the only thing in the air.
Remember people, the game is much more fun then the ending credits. The credits are just what you expect if you've played the game right and you want to sit back and enjoy the ending. But you didn't play the game for the ending, you played it for the game. That's the problem today, people care more about the ending then the game.
Ok, i've probably lost half of you with this rambling so i'm going to go back to work now.
SsgBear24 wrote:
Flawed Diamond, or anyone else that has a suggestion, how do you deal with former customers that almost become stalkers? They want to spend hours with you or /tell you constantly or send you email all the time. I mean they're sweet and not really disturbing, but after you get a few of them you can't do anything but engage in a half dozen conversations all the time and you can't concentrate on who's in front of you.
The ones who remain sweet and nice I continue to converse with. The ones who start demanding more attention than everyone else I usuallly take to the side and have a serious conversation with explaining the difference between Professional and Private conduct. If necessary I raise to bar and remind them of the difference between In-game and OUT-of-game conduct.
If all else fails and conversation does not work I let the worst of them see my... UGLIER side. I can go from being sweet and desireable to being the Crone of your Worst nightmare when pushed to it. As I've reminded some men in the game, Men tend to fight ..Fair and Honorably. Women fight... to WIN and men's egos can be so....Fragile.
This is made even worse by the fact that all the little tells you learn as a dancer in the real world...the unconscious body language...is completely absent in the game world, for obvious reasons. Sure, the customer can emote things, but that's a conscious entry into the GUI, not a subconscious hint that you're on the right track.
I can go from being sweet and desireable to being the Crone of your Worst nightmare when pushed to it. As I've reminded some men in the game, Men tend to fight ..Fair and Honorably. Women fight... to WIN and men's egos can be so....Fragile.
Men tend to fight fair and Honorably? Up until this self serving rant, i actually respected you. But now, you're an idiot. No, i mean it, you are without a shadow of a doubt the single most idiotic person to ever post something on this forum. You know nothing about history and you know nothing about men.
Whatever little experience you have had with the average 9-5 working Alley Mcbeal type man in NO way qualifies you as an expert in male psychology. Men have committed the most atrocious crimes towards every other species on this planet, since the beginning of our race. Men fight to WIN you insufferable moron, not Fair. That's a Hollywood Television induced fantasy, and it's a fantasy you've swallowed whole.
Up until now i actually believed you were a student of psychology, but in fact, you can't possibly be what you claim with such an asinine statement. Women fight to win? Honey, you can count on your fingers the women who have fought through history. Let alone won a fight. You can count them on your fingers.
You are the typical Alley Mcbeal female. You think all men are dogs you can wrap around your finger. That you can slap men whenever you want, hey, Alley does it right? Go up to a man at a club and slap him honey, see how it feels to be used a Mop right afterwards.
And only the most retarded of males would allow themselves to be manipulated by the WEAKER, both physically and mentally, of the sex. Any self respecting male will put you in your place honey. And whatever little power you think you wield is only in your mind.
Women's Ego's are even more fragile then men's ego's. "You look fat." Three simple words to shatter your glorified state of being. So before you post anything anymore, please, for the love of god, read what you write then have a man read it, because obviously you have issues with being a female in a world dominated by males. That's right honey, DOMINATED. Claim all the power you think you have over men, but do so with the knowledge that less then 50 years ago the majority of women didn't even hold jobs or contribute in any form or fashion to the human race...other then giving birth and staying at home. (Which by the way we can now grow children in labs, so there goes your contribution to the human species)
Men are the one's contributing to society and have given us our greatest inventions and our way of life, the way of life you take for granted. Freedom of speech that you display so proudly was given to you by men honey. I won't get any further into a Gender accomplishment conversation, simply read your history and you'll know what reality is. I'm done ever reading anything you post on these forums again. You've managed with 1 single post to completely erase any respect i had for you as an intelligent woman.
Enjoy manipulating men behind a computer. You know, the 13 year old pretending to be 20+ who you think you can humiliate and control. "Men tend to fight fair and honorably"...omg...i still can't read that without thinking to myself..."What a **edit**ing idiot." Go read your history books. Please, for the love of your children, don't let your ignorance and stupidity hurt them later in life. "Women fight to win..." lol I can't stop laughing, seriously.
The only fighting women tend to do is the gossip talk about who's wearing what, who's sleeping with who and what who did to who on the daily soap opera. "Women fight to win..." lol oh my god...i can't stop laughing. Ok, i'm done with this. Post anything and everything you like, i won't be reading it. I mean hey, you might shatter my "Fragile" ego. We wouldn't want that from a 50 year old crone right?
Don't get me wrong, life wouldn't be worth living without women. It simply wouldn't. I need them in my life and always will. But women like you...we can do without women like you.
"Women fight to win...men fight honorably..." I can't...stop...laughing....
If your only conception of the word 'fight' is the taking up of arms then you are of course correct. There are MANY more ways to fight than physically with a weapon.
If you don't understand that dear then I suggest you get a life and learn about it. Laugh!
"...men fight honorably"
Alright, being a guy myself and a gamer,Im going to have to disagree. Almost every random person Ive fought with be it in death matches, MMORPG PvP, table top games, or just about any other game fight pretty dirty. The only fair I ever see is with friends vrs. friends, and even then sometimes the rules bend.
Also, being a guy and a dancer myself for my PA's Hunting division as well as a Commando, I just find it down right retarded they hit on females playing online games. You've seriously got problems if you dont go out in the real world to meet women... its uber pathetic
Aleksander_Graveheart wrote:
Men tend to fight fair and Honorably? Up until this self serving rant, i actually respected you. But now, you're an idiot. No, i mean it, you are without a shadow of a doubt the single most idiotic person to ever post something on this forum. You know nothing about history and you know nothing about men.
I'm not really sure why you feel it necessary to indulge in personal attacks against the poster, Aleksander, but I think you need to step back and hear yourself. Your opinions as expressed in your post are not the final word on "truth" by any measure. It sounds to me like you have a very high opinion of yourself - and opinion that's not entirely warranted, based on your version of history.
Whatever little experience you have had with the average 9-5 working Alley Mcbeal type man in NO way qualifies you as an expert in male psychology. Men have committed the most atrocious crimes towards every other species on this planet, since the beginning of our race. Men fight to WIN you insufferable moron, not Fair. That's a Hollywood Television induced fantasy, and it's a fantasy you've swallowed whole.
Actually, you're generalizing. Men invented warfare, but men also invented chivalry.Standard military doctrine up until the beginning of the 20th century always allowed for a code of chivalry and honor between officers. "Total War" didn't arrive until post-Napoleonic times. If you read John Keegan's History of Warfare you see that since the first men picked up stones, warfare has been a ritual practice codified into set practices. While it may be true that "All's fair in war", it's also true that the Geneva Convention would never have happened without some sense of honor and restraint among men. So much for your idea that Men "fight to WIN" -- they may, but generally within set boundaries they've placed upon themselves.
Up until now i actually believed you were a student of psychology, but in fact, you can't possibly be what you claim with such an asinine statement. Women fight to win? Honey, you can count on your fingers the women who have fought through history. Let alone won a fight. You can count them on your fingers.
Women don't need their names in headlines or history books to win their fights, Aleksandr
You are the typical Alley Mcbeal female. You think all men are dogs you can wrap around your finger. That you can slap men whenever you want, hey, Alley does it right? Go up to a man at a club and slap him honey, see how it feels to be used a Mop right afterwards.
This is the part I really wanted to respond to - you sound like a very angry man who feels the solution to women is to beat them up. Is that how you prove your superiority? Is it any wonder most women think men are animalistic brutes in need of civilizing?
And only the most retarded of males would allow themselves to be manipulated by the WEAKER, both physically and mentally, of the sex. Any self respecting male will put you in your place honey. And whatever little power you think you wield is only in your mind.
Actually, our minds ARE our strongest weapon. The only weakness we have is physical, and some of us not even that. The problem with men is that half their brains are between their legs instead of between their ears, and that's what gives us so much power over you. C'est la vie.
Women's Ego's are even more fragile then men's ego's. "You look fat." Three simple words to shatter your glorified state of being.
Just for the record, I grew up with 2 older brothers and I gave them more than one black eye. I'm anything but fat, but that sort of insult will get you a taste of what my brothers got. Weak? You're generalizing again.
I'm not really sure why you feel it necessary to indulge in personal attacks against the poster, Aleksander, but I think you need to step back and hear yourself. Your opinions as expressed in your post are not the final word on "truth" by any measure. It sounds to me like you have a very high opinion of yourself - and opinion that's not entirely warranted, based on your version of history.
Ok, i really didn't want to get into a gender debate, but i understand that if i don't it just proves your point. So, let's begin. My opinion of myself has nothing to do with this topic. Yes, i am a proud man. I always have been and i will be. And i believe all men need to be proud of the physical and mental gift's they have. Yes, not everything is in the physique. We did not become the dominant race on this planet because of physique, it was intelligence. But, i must point out, if both men and women have the same capacity to be equally intelligent, and men ALSO have the superior physique to go with the intelligence, then you can deduce that it sets them on a pedestal above women.
I did not design genetics; it's a simple fact of biology. Men are physically superior, and any proud male will also strive to have a superior intellect. Or at the very least a superior understanding of a given topic in a given conversation. 2 points for men ,1 point for women. (Aside from the few that divest the entirety of there lives to physical betterment, and those are rare. Mainly because of pregnancy. A beautiful thing, but also a physically weakening state that adds on weight that many women never shed. Men don't have that 'problem'.)
Actually, you're generalizing. Men invented warfare, but men also invented chivalry. Standard military doctrine up until the beginning of the 20th century always allowed for a code of chivalry and honor between officers. "Total War" didn't arrive until post-Napoleonic times. If you read John Keegan's History of Warfare you see that since the first men picked up stones, warfare has been a ritual practice codified into set practices. While it may be true that "All's fair in war", it's also true that the Geneva Convention would never have happened without some sense of honor and restraint among men. So much for your idea that Men "fight to WIN" -- they may, but generally within set boundaries they've placed upon themselves.
First off, it's still not known if "Male's" invented warfare. Some archeologists believe it was the alpha female of any given tribe that initiated wars. I disagree with this simply because of our biological composition and how prone we are to violence because of testosterone. But that's beside the point eh?
Secondly, "chivalry" is dead. It died as women demanded more rights. In a sense you hurt yourselves. All the rights and privileges that come along with being a "female" and a "lady" were revoked when women demanded to be considered as 'equals'. Open the door? Pull the chair? Go fight wars while you sit at home? Build a house? Hell, even going out to work while you stay at home to raise the children? Sorry, we're equals, you go fight the wars with me, you pull your own chair, and you can build the house. It's physically harder on women? But we're equals now, grin and bear it.
While on the topic of chivalry, you might want to re-read your history books on time and era. While "SOME" individuals lived under the chivalrous code, most men did not. Most men beat there wives, most men did NOT give quarter to a foe, and on the battlefield anything to win was acceptable. We are right, they are wrong. Killing them means we can continue our right way of life and end there savage ways. Even in medieval combat, a fallen foe was generally trampled or impaled. Prisoners? Those that weren't 'too' wounded and could be bargained for. Otherwise, hanged/burned. So don't sugarcoat medieval times as some honorable time period. Because it wasn't. It's called the "Dark Ages" for a reason. Chivalry? Sure, let me go scream on the streets you’re a witch. See how long those chivalrous men would take to burn you at the stake. (During the those times of course)
Code of war? Ritual practices? Yes, like the Mayans who removed the heart of there opponent, while he still lived, and ate it. Believing it would give them strength. Or the white man and scalping Indians. (No, it wasn't the native Indians who invented the practice of scalping. It was the white man who offered its soldiers coins in return for Indian scalps. They only returned the favor.). And don't forget about violent tribes. The Mongolians raped, pillaged and decimated nearly all of Europe. If they actually bothered to 'occupy' the land they took over they 'would' have owned it all. Instead they'd ride in, rape, pillage, burn, ride out.
Geneva Convention? Right. Don't make me laugh.
Go back 20 years and see the actions the worlds "super powers" have taken. The US at any given time has 4-5 "Crimes against humanity" legal actions taken against them by individuals whose country they bombed...oops, i meant "Liberated". Clinton and Madeleine Albright were called to take the stand at The Hague. Which of course, they didn't show up. "Americans cannot be held accountable for anything they do as it is for the betterment of the world". What a load of crock that is.
And yes, men fight to win. You'd be surprised how "Boundaries", as you've said, can be pushed back to accommodate one side of the conflict. Some Boundaries can be completely removed, as they no longer serve a purpose. You need only to look at recent world events to realize this to be true. The only Boundary that matters is how much i gain. Everything else...is damage control. That's what government spokes persons are for.
Women don't need their names in headlines or history books to win their fights, Aleksandr Nephertiri, Josephine, Golda Meir and Maggie Thatcher didn't fight, they ordered their men to fight for them.
Right and Nephrite ended her reign so eloquently huh? Cleopatra too. Oh wait, didn't...she...sleep with a roman general to ensure Rome wouldn't attack them? Yeah, we know how that ended.
And like i said, women who control armies and 'order their men to fight for them' you can count on your fingers. That's my point. There are a few, key word FEW. While there are a LOT of male generals and leaders.
This is the part I really wanted to respond to - you sound like a very angry man who feels the solution to women is to beat them up. Is that how you prove your superiority? Is it any wonder most women think men are animalistic brutes in need of civilizing?
It's because of this that i decided to respond to this.
1) I’m not an angry man at all. I'm very happy.
2) No i don't feel the solution to women is to 'beat them up. And you're only saying that so you'll evoke an emotional response out of the female and male readers to jump on your bandwagon. It's a cheap pop and really uncalled for. I said "If a woman were to slap a guy in a bar the guy would use her as a mop." What's the content there? Who hit who first? My point exactly. I have nothing but respect for my fellow humans. I respect you, you respect me. I respect your space, respect mine. I respect you to be a proud woman/man, respect me as being a proud man. Yell, scream and holler all you like. I'll walk away or argue with you. Slap me? You get slapped. Punch me? You get punched. Kick me? You'll get kicked. It's an eye for an eye, and that my dear, is older then both of us. I respect you, respect me back.
There is no valid reason to hit your man. As long as we're arguing, we'll leave it at words. The moment you cross the boundaries and strike me, you've changed the nature of the argument from words to physical blows. And as a woman you should know better then to fight a man. So if you DO hit a man, you're showing disregard for your own physical limitations and you're behaving like an animal. If you want to act like a human being, I’ll treat you as one. Act like an animal, I’ll oblige that too and treat you like an animal. That's my point. Not that i beat women for whatever reason.
3) Most women think men are brutes because men are the one's that are out there doing the fighting. We also have Testosterone that also affects our behavior. Its biology, it has nothing to do with being "Civilized" or "proper". Men fight, it's as simple as that. Unchecked, yes, you'd have mass rape, murder and looting. Men are by nature violent. And we have to strive to be better then animals and most men do. We don't need to resolve our differences with our fists anymore. But...we men don't hold in our anger and let it build over years. We have a problem with each other? We settle it one way or another. Women have a tendency to keep things in...tic toc tic toc tic toc...like a little time bomb. So who's better there? Neither. Oh and since men are such savages, interesting that 95% of all women want a "Strong man" by there side. Very very interesting.
Actually, our minds ARE our strongest weapon. The only weakness we have is physical, and some of us not even that. The problem with men is that half their brains are between their legs instead of between their ears, and that's what gives us so much power over you. C'est la vie.
There your strongest weapon because they are your ONLY weapon. You don't have the physical constitution to back up your actions against a man. (Most men obviously). And i agree/disagree with "most men have half there brains between their legs." Sad but true. But that's biology. We get aroused, testosterone is pumped into our blood stream and the signals that our brain sends the rest of the body get muffled and blocked. The discovered this in a recent study. So the myth of the "Man thinking with his **edit**" is true. But it's not our fault, its biology. Many men can control it and have learned to do so. So don't generalize by saying all men. I can very well "Not" let myself get aroused if i don't want to. But yes, i've acted the fool when aroused at times. Its biology, i can also only fight it so long. That is our weakness, our charm, and our strength at the same time.
Yes, a naturally beautiful woman fully in tuned with her own sexuality will command a lot of authority if she knows how to use it. To an extent. Money, power, control, most men who have won't give it us so easily. And a woman can only dip into it until her sexuality looses its charm. Marilyn Monroe anyone?
Just for the record, I grew up with 2 older brothers and I gave them more than one black eye. I'm anything but fat, but that sort of insult will get you a taste of what my brothers got. Weak? You're generalizing again.
I grew up with a sister, and yes, she used to beat on me when i was little. Then...around 12 things changed. Little brother grew bigger. And she learned her limitations.
Besides, words can carry more power then punching. And yes i generalize when i say women are weak. Yes there are a few women in my gym and dojo, but they don't compare physically to a man whose put in half the effort they have. Its biology, you and I can't fight it. Accept your limitations and find ways around it. If i called you "Fat" and you punched me i would deck you. But if you responded with words and insults back at me, fine. Again, don't hit someone who's bigger and stronger then you. Use your vaunted intelligence to prove a point. Act like an animal, be treated as one. Simple as that.
Now we can go on with this ping pong game, but my comments were directed at Flawed, not you. So if you want to keep going on and on and on, don't. Because we both know it won't go anywhere. But i responded to this because i liked the way you expressed yourself. See, words, not physical strength. So, keep going if you like, but it serves little point non?
Aleksander_Graveheart wrote:
I did not design genetics; it's a simple fact of biology. Men are physically superior, and any proud male will also strive to have a superior intellect. Or at the very least a superior understanding of a given topic in a given conversation. 2 points for men ,1 point for women. (Aside from the few that divest the entirety of there lives to physical betterment, and those are rare. Mainly because of pregnancy. A beautiful thing, but also a physically weakening state that adds on weight that many women never shed. Men don't have that 'problem'.)
Thestatement "Men are physically superior" is not a fact.Neither gender's physicality is superior to the other's. There are strengths and weaknesses in both designs, so to speak. In my opinion, it would be a ridiculous and pointless waste of time to go back and forth arguing about the various physical differences between men and women. Likewise, it is entirely laughable to claim that one gender has intellectual superiority over the other. Ultimately there is no factual, scientificproof of any such statements in either direction.
"Knowledge is proud that he has learn’d so much;
Wisdom is humble that he knows no more."
~William Cowper (1731-1800)