Dancer Archive
Thread: OT: I need the insights and thoughts of females...
Message Edited by Schardour on 02-11-2005 05:27 PM
Don't get too down... It was wise of you to let her know. It's better to get her thinking about you as a man instead of a brother if you truly would like to be with her as more than a psuedo brother. Worst case she turns you down, in which case you can at least move on and set your sites on another woman. Best case... She looks at you and sees you for the man you are and is attracted to you.
if you really think you can keep it casual, then go for it and just hang out and have fun
if you like this girl enough that you would be hurt if things don't move on or if things go wrong, ask yourself if you're willing to take that risk (of getting dumped, getting used, etc.) things might work out, but be prepared for the worse.
p.s.: either way, we'll be here for you
Message Edited by Pappi on 02-11-2005 05:48 PM
kirah_ashlin wrote:
gera wrote:
Girls do love, but they never fall in love... All imitation
Oooooh . . . . you are SO lucky I'm too tired to respond to THAT! LOL!
Point and fact. I know all the answer that could possibly come from you all. However, none of you can make a solid statement about not to's.
With the possiblity of a potential "friends with benefits" as well.
I mean no offense, but girls do this sometimes. :/ Basically, she isn't sure if she likes you, so she doesn't want to say no, because if she does and you go away, and nobody else she's seeing atm works out, then she doesn't have someone trailing along behind like a puppy to fall back on. I know several guys that actually do this to themselves allllll the time, and usually catch on far too late.
Basically, most of the time this happens, the girl will trail someone along while she tests to see if someone else - or several other someones - will work out, and if they do, the guy then usually gets a slightly more decisive -- but not too much so -- talk, stating that right now they should just be friends. If the other someones dont work out, well, she's got someone she can hang with and do things with, thereby salvaging the ego, sort of having a boyfriend-in-storage if you will.
I know it all sounds rather harsh, but this happens far too often to a good friend of mine, and nothing I ever say or do will get it through his head that he's just the kind of guy this happens to. So it makes me a bit angry to see it. :/
ChiiTWINS wrote:
I know it all sounds rather harsh, but this happens far too often to a good friend of mine, and nothing I ever say or do will get it through his head that he's just the kind of guy this happens to. So it makes me a bit angry to see it. :/
(I took forum advice; this is scary.) Last night I had four lovely ladies hanging around me at a Valentine's Day party. FOUR! Two I already know well, and I also picked up two new phone numbers. (I know I had a few drinks as the party moved on, but these two were hot even early in the night.) I would have never returned their affections if I hadn't spoken to her about these things the other day. In light of these recent developments....I may as well keep myself busy, right?
gera wrote:
kirah_ashlin wrote:
gera wrote:
Girls do love, but they never fall in love... All imitation
Oooooh . . . . you are SO lucky I'm too tired to respond to THAT! LOL!
Point and fact. I know all the answer that could possibly come from you all. However, none of you can make a solid statement about not to's.
I'm not going to derail Til's thread further with this discussion. You have made it quite clear, Gera,that you knowpratcially nothingabout women, yet you believe you know everything. 'Tis a shame - we are far from the one dimentional, self-centered beings you seem to think us. Hopefully, one day you'll come to realize this. However, as I said - no more derailment herefor me.
On to Til's predicament - we've had discussions ingame about relationships, Til. First, let me tell you up front that you blew it. You know you are impulsive and emotional and that these are areas you need to learn to control. You are young so you have time yet. Blurting out your feelings to this girl without any sort of warning put her in a very ackward position, especiallywhen you knew she is seeing someone else. Sorry, but that was very unfair of you and you got the reaction I would expect from her. She seems tocares about you - whether she cares for you is another matter that only time will tell. She has told you what she feels and what she wants from you right now. Don't try to read more or less into it than she has said.
Now the ball is in your court, Til. Accept what she has said and then go from there. You can either continue to harbor hopes that you will eventually have a relationship with this girl (in which case you need to back off some and give her room) or you can decide not to place yourself and your heart on someone else's backburner and move on. You might even want to consider apologizing to her for being so forward and letting her know that you will *not* interfer in her present relationship. Then, you can continue to be her friend and show her by your maturity and consideration that you are quite possibily the better man. 
To quote a wiser being than I, "Trust your feelings".
Oh and . . . /hug Til
LOL - figures I'd finally decide to respond and you beat me with apost about your newest conquests . . .
Message Edited by kirah_ashlin on 02-13-2005 09:58 AM
kirah_ashlin wrote:
You know you are impulsive and emotional and that these are areas you need to learn to control.
Believe me love, this was far from impulsive. I'm actually quite shy in reality, and nothing like Til at all.
kirah_ashlin wrote:
You might even want to consider apologizing to her for being so forward and letting her know that you will *not* interfer in her present relationship.
(She's not technically seeing anybody in particular at the moment, just sort of 'playing the field' and looking around when she goes out with friends.)