Dancer Archive
Thread: grrrrr the real nasty ones
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KMad
Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:45 am
#1
like most of you i'm sure, i get /licked while dancingby total strangers quite often. last night it happened, i asked the guy to quit it, and he went prone under me and said 'oh, wear panties' or something like that. well that crossed my line for vulgar behavior i don't want to see, so i quick did a 
uts [name] on ignore and kept dancing since i was doinga mind buff.
uts [name] on ignore and kept dancing since i was doinga mind buff.well he kept it up, was standing near me and i could see kisses and hugs, and then i started seeing a lot of people in the cantina saying 'ewwww' and 'that is way more than enough' and things like that. in /gc, the other dancers offered to try to duel him, but he was a CH with pets he'd been bringing out and i sure didn't want any of them to die for me. i figured this guy was not going to learn a lesson that way.
one thing i never do is continue to talk about someone in spatial after i have ignored them. i broke that rule last night one time, after i knew he was continuing, just to say that i did have him on ignore, and please no one take my silence as consent or enjoyment of his behavior. after that, i did once see someone say 'no she can't', which i think meant he asked 'can she hear what i'm doing' or something similar.
i was about to leave after the next mind buff, but he finally logged. i was very flustered and felt helpless, like ignore wasn't enough. i ended up doing not only a /report but filling out a CSR ticket too. i'd never done that before, i found it under community standards/harassment if any of you need it (i sure hope you don't). in the ticket i mentioned that i had ignored him very early, but i gave the names of three witnesses (with their permission) who had seen more of it than i did, and those 3 also filled out tickets too. i haven't logged on yet today, i don't know if anything will come of the ticket or not.
if there is a next time, with this guy or anyone else, i'd probably stop dancing and just sit to see if that makes it stop. i didn't want to leave the cantina, i have fun there, but he sure was trying to ruin that for me. i didn't stop these two mind buffs since i was the only master dancer there, and the two people weren't regulars, they were new to me. if they'd been folks i knew, i would have asked if they'd mind waiting until he quit or left.
the bright side is, the other people at the cantina sure did stick up for me. no one encouraged him, and when he kept trying to crawl under me, they made a circle around me so that he couldn't even see me. that really did make me smile even in the middle of while i was flustered. and some guys came in for a group buff right after he logged, ones that do /kiss every once in a while because they know they get a /nono from me for that, but they're not the harassing kind, they're just playing. i mentioned in /gc during the group buff why i was flustered, and as soon as they found out, they vowed to 'make his life miserable'. one friend in the group buff is leader of his guild, so i know that entire guild will hear about it.
oh and *not* that any clothing or lack thereof would have justified his behavior, but i was wearing my buff dress (has a +5 dancing mind enhancement tape in it), i think it's an elegant dress, the one with only one shoulder. i'd hardly call that skimpy. if i had been in something skimpier i would have changed to a long skirt just to see if that would have slowed him down, but that was what it all started in.
/sigh i've had people try to give me a hard time before, but this was the first time i felt like a real griefer was aimed at me. what would y'all have done different?
NeoTheHutt
Mon Mar 08, 2004 8:58 am
#2
for gods sake there are already 50 threads about this subject. USE ONE OF THOSE!!!!
KMad
Mon Mar 08, 2004 9:08 am
#3
gee thanks neo, the threads i did see were about other problems. people hitting on you when you don't want to roleplay that way, for example. this guy wasn't flirtingwith me, there were no tells. he was doing things i consider obscene in spatial, and then, from what i hear, he was making comments about beating me, etc. it didn't seem to me to fit into any thread i could easily find. i did not intend to mess up any neat formatting system that you are attached to.
NeoTheHutt
Mon Mar 08, 2004 9:10 am
#4
wow. are you blind? seriosly are you?
NASTY ONES
yeah, thats it. read it. ITS THE SAME THING
rayill
Mon Mar 08, 2004 9:54 am
#6
Wow, that sucks that you had to put up with that kind of crap, KMad. Drop me a line in game and let me know who exactly did that, and what - if anything - anyone in his guild does to try to stop a recurrence of that behavior.
chasyork
Mon Mar 08, 2004 10:10 am
#7
Seriously, maybe it's time that we start policing these extremists as well.
If such conduct doesn't get the notice of SOE, and their guild leaders won't do anything, then maybe we need to have a "deny service" thread for each forum- where anyone can post constant offenders so all interested participants can add that person to their list.
Too many people think that if they're not banned or warned by SOE then their conduct was permissible, but we are an online SOCIETY. That means that we can make rules of acceptable behavior and use the techniques available to us to enforce them.
BTW: I usually don't ignore anymore- just so I can see what the jerks are saying, but I keep one heck of a denyservice macro that I run first thing I log on.
If such conduct doesn't get the notice of SOE, and their guild leaders won't do anything, then maybe we need to have a "deny service" thread for each forum- where anyone can post constant offenders so all interested participants can add that person to their list.
Too many people think that if they're not banned or warned by SOE then their conduct was permissible, but we are an online SOCIETY. That means that we can make rules of acceptable behavior and use the techniques available to us to enforce them.
BTW: I usually don't ignore anymore- just so I can see what the jerks are saying, but I keep one heck of a denyservice macro that I run first thing I log on.
NJ62
Mon Mar 08, 2004 10:27 am
#8
Wow, that is really awful. I hate it when not only do they say rude stuff, but visually they harass you by standing in your personal space. No amount of /ignore will solve that.
I don't think there's really anything you could do differently. Hindsight is 20/20 and maybe ignore simply pushed this guy's buttons, whereas a well-aimed "dude, I'm a guy IRL, that's gross" would have sent him on his way. But you never know whether what you're doing (or not doing) will inflame the situation. The safest route to go is the total ignore.
As for Neo: The appropriate time to direct someone to another thread is when he/she has a "brand new" idea on an issue that has been discussed ad nauseum, or a question on something that is already in the FAQ. It is perfectly fine for people in this community to ask for advice about specific situations - in fact that is what this forum is for, dancers supporting dancers. If you don't like it, troll elsewhere. But flaming someone who is obviously in distress about a very unpleasant situation is inappropriate, and you should be ashamed of your behavior.
The thread Neo was referring to may be helpful, but certainly is not the end-all be-all for your specific situation.
rayill
Mon Mar 08, 2004 10:48 am
#9
Oh, and Kmad, I thought of something else. If this ever happens again - by this guy or someone else - don't hesitate to ask myself or Balistar for help if you see either of us are online. Even if I'm horrible at combat, I'll come duel him if I have to!
MUSoprano
Mon Mar 08, 2004 11:32 am
#10
I had something VERY similar happen once. I was on Dathomir, in the Science OP cantina, dancing and healing minds before I went hunting with some friends. I'm standing there minding my own business, when these two guys walk in from a guild called ICTU (Imperial Counter-Terrorism Unit, it has since fallen apart). I never spoke a word to either one of them, but they came up to me (this is when I was a Rebel) and one of them said "Such a pretty necklace... I think I will steal it from her." Apparently this is when you could target someone and type /open and actually take stuff. So anyway, I just continued to ignore them, and they got worse. One of them told me that I needed to lose weight (being a dancer, I had my weight set to 0). Then they went prone at my feet, and both of them proceeded to crawl around on the floor below me, looking up my skirt and speculating as to whether or not I 'shaved'. I finished mydance and got the heck out of there. I immediately reported them and also filed a CSR ticket, because I felt it was sexual harassment and that's something I won't tolerate ANYWHERE. My response from the wonderful, helpful CSR's: "You have the /addignore function. We suggest you use it." Wow....... thanks for your support, SWG.
Later on, one of the guys actually contacted me on my alternate character, looking for ID training. I took great pleasure in telling him what an idiot he was, and then introducing him to my ignore list.
Einhinder
Mon Mar 08, 2004 11:42 am
#11
i get that kind of behavior all the time most of the time eithher i or a friend of mine kills the guy however recently i had someone piss me off so bad i sent reports and tickets but having seen nothing being done i demanded to talk to a csr in game the guy was suspeneded for three days it is a nice three days so far the cantina is so much nicer without him. so in cases where there that bad report him send tickets add comments to your ticket evertime he continues and have the other people in the cantina do the same and if you can talk to a csr in game.
Auraveda
Mon Mar 08, 2004 3:35 pm
#12
Heh, something somewhat similar happened to me just yesterday. My character is a female wookiee on Bloodfin, up to 3343 in dancer. I was in the Bestine cantina helping a friend level medic. I spammed flourishes and light effects, and he sat in front of me spamming heals. My new policy on harassment is to duel. It doesn't matter if I have no chance of winning, I will at least try to stick up for myself.
Anyway, as I'm dancing I notice a couple of guys in Newbie gear with newbie weapons having a grand old time running around dueling each other in the cantina. That annoys some people, but I don't mind, adds to the atmosphere.
I get up from my computer to get a snack from the kitchen. When I come back I see that the 2 guys are now standing on either side of my character discussing the merits and drawbacks of wookiee sex slaves (I won't post what they were saying exactly). Well, as a free rebel wookiee I of course am not going to ignore this assault on my honor. I stop dancing, slap one of the guys, equip my vibroknucklers and challenge one to a duel. They continue to harass me and ignore my duel request, until I roar and start calling them cowards, among other things. (By now my medic friend sees what is happening, stands up and equips his full composite. Since it would have been a duel, he couldn't have helped, except to follow me and heal me, but the intimidation factor was nice.) At this point the newbs start whining that they're roleplayers, and that they're roleplaying unsavory imperial types. If they were real roleplayers then they shouldn't have broke character to complain about me getting mad, also they should have expected my character to get mad. I mean, don't call a wookiee names unless you want your arms ripped out of your sockets. (Incidentally I didn't break character and point this out to them, as much as I wanted to.) At this point an actual imperial guy sitting at a table in the cantina chimed in to say that these newbs were not imperial. He then berated them for claiming to represent the empire, and for talking tough but chickening out of the actual fight, thus making the Empire look bad. After this the newbs started chatting with the Imp, asking about how to join, where to hunt, that kind of stuff, and then left me alone. I went back to dancing, and my friend went back to healing.
As crude and stupid as those newbs were, the only thing that really annoys me is that the cowards wouldn't accept my duel and give me the satisfaction of killing them.
Anyway, as I'm dancing I notice a couple of guys in Newbie gear with newbie weapons having a grand old time running around dueling each other in the cantina. That annoys some people, but I don't mind, adds to the atmosphere.
I get up from my computer to get a snack from the kitchen. When I come back I see that the 2 guys are now standing on either side of my character discussing the merits and drawbacks of wookiee sex slaves (I won't post what they were saying exactly). Well, as a free rebel wookiee I of course am not going to ignore this assault on my honor. I stop dancing, slap one of the guys, equip my vibroknucklers and challenge one to a duel. They continue to harass me and ignore my duel request, until I roar and start calling them cowards, among other things. (By now my medic friend sees what is happening, stands up and equips his full composite. Since it would have been a duel, he couldn't have helped, except to follow me and heal me, but the intimidation factor was nice.) At this point the newbs start whining that they're roleplayers, and that they're roleplaying unsavory imperial types. If they were real roleplayers then they shouldn't have broke character to complain about me getting mad, also they should have expected my character to get mad. I mean, don't call a wookiee names unless you want your arms ripped out of your sockets. (Incidentally I didn't break character and point this out to them, as much as I wanted to.) At this point an actual imperial guy sitting at a table in the cantina chimed in to say that these newbs were not imperial. He then berated them for claiming to represent the empire, and for talking tough but chickening out of the actual fight, thus making the Empire look bad. After this the newbs started chatting with the Imp, asking about how to join, where to hunt, that kind of stuff, and then left me alone. I went back to dancing, and my friend went back to healing.
As crude and stupid as those newbs were, the only thing that really annoys me is that the cowards wouldn't accept my duel and give me the satisfaction of killing them.
Utess
Mon Mar 08, 2004 4:30 pm
#13
I've had a few incidents like these myself, thankfully none since I started playing on test but they still can happen anywhere. The best thing to do is just report it, file the ticket and ignore. Its all you really can do sadly.
The only other option/possibility is if you find a nice player owned cantina somewhere, or set up your own, you always have the option of banning the individual from the cantina as well. Thats just one of the reasons why I like player cantinas better(besides them looking nicer too 
).
But beyond that, you did all you could hon, and its a shame that these incidents have to happen.
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