Dancer Archive

Happened to me more than a few times. Rude comments, the works. Shrug it off, male dancers need thick skins.

Or do what I do, hit on them. That scares most of them off pretty well.

Quite honestly, there's not a lot of respect for dancers across the board, so females and males alike deal with verbal abuse at times. Sorry you ran into it so soon, but it goes with the territory.

Because people are jerks. Prepare yourself for nasty comments. I got this a lot when Paks was young. Apparently many people thought there was no such thing as a girl wookiee so I got a lot of homophobic nastiness when I danced. Um. Also prepare yourself for overly friendly remarks from fellow female dancers. They are starved for male counterparts. Be kind!

It can be hard at times. When I'd just mastered, I almost quit. Not because of the way the guys were treating me. I was pretty used to that and could shrug it off easily. But when someone I knew to be female both in game and IRL had a problem with my dancing, that cut a bit deep. Without going into detail, it wasn't the usual shallow remarks I was used to from guys. In the end I talked to her about it, and was able to get over things. I haven't really had a problem since then.

In the end, guys you see dancing have one of three things, or more likely a combination. That is, thick skin, security in themselves, or just not caring what others think.

Interestingly, my first lessons in dealing with guys came from not dancing. My dancer is very much a pretty boy, and since the name has a feminine ending, he gets mistaken for a woman constnalty. For awhile, I didn't know how to deal with it, and it just made an uncomfortable situation. Typically a friend with me ended up correcting them. The one time that really sticks out in my mind.. I was at the Vreni Island shuttleport (Or however it's spelled, the island in the sw of Corellia) with another dancer. A guy was there and complimented us "ladies". The other dancer corrected him that I was in fact a guy. And he was the only guy who had the balls to admit that he found my dancer attractive, and so had just assumed. (Well, in his words, "You had such a nice ass, I just assumed".) From that point on, I knew how to handle it; I'd just take it as a compliment.

I don't know if I just don't see it as much, or if it just has become such a non-issue for me that I don't notice it anymore... But I don't have as much of a problem with other guys anymore. Likely it isn't nearly as much of a problem as it used to be, since so many guys took up dancing for the holo-grind. But it will always be a problem that guys who want to dance have to face.

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Vorpaks wrote:
Because people are jerks. Prepare yourself for nasty comments. I got this a lot when Paks was young. Apparently many people thought there was no such thing as a girl wookiee so I got a lot of homophobic nastiness when I danced. Um. Also prepare yourself for overly friendly remarks from fellow female dancers. They are starved for male counterparts. Be kind!

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I learned that second part quickly. My first month of playing I think most my tips came from other dancers.

You know, the relation of lekku position to gender never really occurred to me. I'd decided that different positions did mean different things.. (In back woudl be casual, in front dressy formal, one in back/one in front comfortable formal, crossed would be formal with perhaps different undertones based on which side they were on, which was in front and such, and tight around the neck militant formal.)

Funny, I think of that one lek in front/one behind as a kind of ready-to-go "action" look. That's certainly Iba's position, anyway--pun intended.

I'm afraid I don't have any additional advice for the original poster. For whatever reason, the current crop of young American men are hyperinsecure about their masculinity, and lash out at anything that even remotely smacks of male sexiness because it reassures them that they're "normal." When it happens to you, try to remember that it's not really about you, it's about their insecurity, and don't take it personally. That's easier said than done, I know, but if you can't do it, being a dancer might not be for you.

As a lark, I made a male dancer on Kettemore, but never really did anything with him. Mabe I should poke my head--or rather, his head--into Theed and see what happens.


J.

Umiio "Umi" Panwanga • Rodian party girl • Bria
Iba'onchab • Gets boarded sometimes • Chimaera


This random sig quote is brought to you by the Star Wars Galaxies forums:
"Haha the homophobia was just so bad. Big beefy guys in football can run up and hug each other and pat each others rump and it's manly. I dance with half naked women so I must like men."
-CloverRidge, 10-05-2004 11:17 AM

Theed on Kettemoor is pretty tame these days. They've had to put up with me, Drygo, Ern, and a few others.

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Tiaga wrote:
Theed on Kettemoor is pretty tame these days. They've had to put up with me, Drygo, Ern, and a few others.

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Yeah...Plus, I tend to take Javier's tactic and hit on them. They run away screaming before they can think of their next insult. Plus, being as sexy as I am, I am constantly having the female twi population hit on me, which gives an air of "straightness."

But, to the original poster...yeah, people act that way. The best way I've found to deal with it, is first and foremost, to try not to let it bother you. But, second, find a way that makes them *fear* you. (ie, the hitting on tactic). You'll also find that the more your male avatar dances, the more accepted you become, and the less it seems to happen (or maybe you just won't notice it as much).