Dancer Archive
Thread: Lap Dances
Voh'la.. really. We know you're just upset that you've been found out. Keren's own private dancer =P
Moo.
After pages and pages of bible thumping opinions you finally answer my SIMPLE question.
Well Slick isn't it true,
Did I not pose a simple question in an appropriate manner on the correct Forum?
Understand your concern on child safety in the game, well respected. I never asked for a diatribe from you on the morals and meaning of lapdancing, next time if you can't relate to a post just step away.
You really need to cut down on the size of your rants, though.
Sorry if I made you mad.
Im sorry but I must comment on Flawed's "online cheating" and that is what it is. Whatever the case is, it is your life, but I feel incredibly sorry that you find it so difficult to be faithful to your husband and must resort to finding satisfaction elsewhere, here online. That's incredibly sick, and it doesnt seem like your marriage is a happy one. I hope you enjoy yourself at least because you're an atrocious role model for anyone else.
Online cheating. Wow that isunique. I never thought that it would be cheating - so if you dream or imagine someone elsethen I guess that is cheating as well.Also I always thought cheating involves doing something without the spouses knowledge- if they knowthe other partner is playing online and flirting or doing whatever -then howare theycheating - all the converstions are saved in the game it isn't like they can't read them on the screen.
Iam in avery long term relationship - we have childeren together - 5 kids in total. And we both play the game. And to be honest I enjoy the flirting in the game, maybe becaue it isn't something I do alot in life except with my partner. But my partner is there in the game with me, nothing hidden or kept from each other. In fact I've met alot of people in the game that aren't couples in the game but play on the same server and they flirt with other people and each other- just having fun. It's just a fictionaly wayto experience a different life. No worse than reading a book or having a dream.
The game is different for everyone and I think that we all can play how we want and no one should be accussed of doing anything or someting when you don't know the person or their life. Just play -if you want to lapdance - then do it. If you want to get a lapdance - see if you can find someone. If it is for cybering and both are willing - enjoy. Hey it's just another way of experiencing life.
Wow, this topic sure has drifted!
At first I wasn't going to write, but Madylyn's post really caught my attention. In the real world, my boyfriend and I both roleplay online in a couple different games. Our characters have yet to get together, but have had other boyfriend and girlfriends. Some of the most fun we've had is complaining about our characters' love lives to each other (that being my character's trouble and his character's over abundance /grin). We're comfortable with this arrangement and it's not cheating to us at all. If Flawed's real world husband is okay with her, then all the power to her. When I'm in a play and I have to kiss my character's boyfriend or husband, it's not cheating on my real world boyfriend... it's all role-playing or acting. Otherwise these Hollywood marriages would be even more troubled than they already are! /wink
Ania'dlin
Theed, Naboo
Ahazi
I'm starting to see a pattern emerge in people's behaviour on online message boards.. it feels like an epiphany, although that feeling might also be caused bysleep deprivation and a whole lot of 7up.
Thank you Dood. Thank you Slick.
I feel I have a better understanding now of why people are so offensive/defensive on internet message boards. It really doesn't have much to do with the content or quality of the posts.. You see I myself formulated a reply on this topic. Before posting I copied my post and went back to re-read the thread, more carefully, and I saw how everything I was going to say had already been said. Most of it by the person I was going to say it to! But thats not all I saw, I also looked not at the content of the posts, but the context. Where did the degeneration begin? It started whenan unsolicited opinion was postedin a thread which was created for a very specific purpose. It doesn't matter how well-formulated that opinion is, it doesn't matter how well defended it is. Its off topic, and that creates tension.
I had always thought that people were soargumentative because they felt they had something to prove. Now I believe this tension is caused by a more fundamental disagreement on what the purpose of the message board is, and what constitutes a good post. You have people who go about posting their opinions wherever they like, and you have people who resist this mental littering by expressing counter-opinions.
Whats that you say? "Bartoks what the hell are you talking about?" Well. This thread has already been hijacked beyond recognition, so I'm just adding a little more litter to the pile. Reading this thread has opened my mind. You don't really care, I already know - I don't need to be told, and right now I feel great about that.*grin*
Wow.. the dancer's forum really is the place for the heated discussions. My golly miss molly! I just can't seem to stay away. I keep hoping that some day I will see someone change over the course of a discussion. Hasn't happened yet, but it still may.
Flawed is NOT cheating on her husband if her husband and her are both in agreement that what she is doing is okay. You see, a marriage is a very personal thing between a man and a woman (or man and man, woman and woman.. whatever) and the boundries of that particular marriage will be different than from every other marriage on earth. In my case I would not be comfortable doing erotic dance and it would upset my husband. Those are the boundries of our marriage. Flawed's boundries are different, it's no more and no less than that. Simply different. What works for you and your partner won't work for the folks next door. Is it so hard to understand that just because someone is living their life differently from yourowndoes not mean they are unhappy or somehow wrong? Different is not bad. Thereare perfectly functional happy relationships where one partneris a complete dominate and the other a submissive.Not my cup of tea but it works for them. Heck, some husbands like it when men flirt with theirwives.. it just their thing. Choosing to live a different life from the person next to you is not a bad thing. Do what makes you happy, /ignore the people that bring you grief (if only that worked in RL 
)
Min'Tora Ehi
Madylyn wrote:
Im sorry but I must comment on Flawed's "online cheating" and that is what it is.
Okay, THAT'S a judgement.
Madylyn;
You're welcome to your opinions, but calling Flawed names is out of line and won't win you any supporters. The fact is, "cheating", if you like, involves an emotional commitment to someone outside your marriage. Unless you live with the player behind FlawedDiamond (you're not her spouse in disguise are you?) then you're not in a position to comment on her marriage. You're surely not entitled to make insinuations about her personal life in public.
Please keep the personal attacks out of the discussion. Unless her husband is somehow ignorant of her style of roleplay (something I believe to be highly unlikely) then it's up to him, not you, to decide what's out of bounds. Flawed portrays herself as an "erotic" dancer. She's never encouraged nor claimed to be involved with cybering. Hell, despite her posting in this thread she's never, to my knowledge, even said she'd do a lap dance. If she has some online flirting and even "boyfriends" then that's her business to manage. One presumes that if she "keeps it in game" that she chooses others who are balanced enough to do the same. That's for her husband to deal with, assuming he sees any need to. Not other gamers.
BTW - how would YOU prefer a gentleman to ask you for a lap dance? 
Madylyn wrote:Im sorry but I must comment on Flawed's "online cheating" and that is what it is. Whatever the case is, it is your life, but I feel incredibly sorry that you find it so difficult to be faithful to your husband and must resort to finding satisfaction elsewhere, here online. That's incredibly sick, and it doesnt seem like your marriage is a happy one. I hope you enjoy yourself at least because you're an atrocious role model for anyone else.
Girl all I can do laugh at your narrow mind and feel kind of sorry for you. I REALLY DO. Laugh!!
SWG has girls with body styles and attributes that are specifically designed to appeal to men. The male avatars are just as well designed to appeal to women. Maybe you're oblivious to that. Ever look at Dancer costumes? The Revealing Wrap? The Exotic Leotard?
Girl I do Erotic Dance in the cantina. I have watched my dance from another players machine and I can say WITH modesty that very few men would fail to have a physical reaction to a gorgeous woman in that outfit with a perfect body dancing a few feet in front of them. I'm SURE that was not intentional on the part of the SWG devs, giving us perfect bodies and revealing clothes. I'm sure it was a COMPLETE coincidence!! NOT!!!
As far as my marriage, I appreciate your concern for me dear but rest assured that we have a deep, abiding marriage that we both fully expect to last till we die. He got a real chuckle out of your message and his response was 'Oh the Poor girl!'
I DO agree that a man or women engaging in relationships within a game WITHOUT the knowledge of their spouse IS flirting on the edge of something that she or he needs to think about deeply. In our case however we are both fully aware of what we are doing and we BOTH do so with the full knowledge and approval of the other. We even play on different servers so that we do not interfere with each others love life. Laugh!!
We both find such activities to be fun, enjoyable, stimulating (both mentally and physically) and share a lot of laughter and fun over the activities of our counterparts in the game. We are both veteran role players and our chars, while sharing SOME of us in them, are very different from US and in some ways have their own motivations and attitudes. We often find them reacting to situations in ways that WE personally would not react. Thus we are able to enjoy their activities while maintaining an absolute and complete separation between THEIR lives and ours.
While you may find this thought abhorant given your seemingly rigid views on the subject I have to say that coming back to him after a romantic date with my Wookie BF and his returning from an evening with his Twilek lover can have a VERY strong salutory effect on
ones libidos and lead to some VERY satisfying recreational activities in the aftermath. Laugh!!!
So you conduct your marriage in the way you like and refrain from passing judgement on OUR relationship about which you know nothing dear. Or if you WANT to delve into the subject perhaps we should talk about your poor husband and the pleasures that he is undoubtedly missing in life given your seemingly rigid views. sigh...Poor man....
Perhaps tell him to come look me up in Keren on Eclipse and...ask me out? Laugh!!!!
Thank you Bartok for the sensibility,
You hit the nail on the head. I started this thread with a very small focused question.
Apparently SOME people feel they just gotta stick their nose into something and ram their opinion into a post.
Shame on all you hijacked this post to put forth your own agendas, you just should have started a new thread instead of jumping into this one with "YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR IT BUT,HERE'S MY TWO CENTS..."
It's so sad but you see this in RL too.
Flawed,
I apologize for insulting your relationship, I had no right to do that. It's just that I had 3 friends in the last game we played who all hadin gamerelationships and relationships in RL and all 3 of their RL relationships broke up. It can be very real to the people in game who you have the relationships with and I have seen how it can lead to stalking, and much more than just flirting online. You can't always know who you are dealing with. I play the games with my husband and we have a great relationship. I would never betray him by having flings in game with other people and he the same, but that's just another way we show respect for one another. I am not narrow minded, I have just seen lots of good intentions go bad and don't want it to happen here. I am glad you guys have such an open relationship, but it's offensive to some people. Once more, Im sorry to starting bad blood, and I hope between fellow dancers, we can come to good terms. Good luck with your dancing.
Girl I gues I was a little bit catty and I'm sorry too. I've seen the kind of problems you refer to in relationships but I have to say a coupl eof things about that.
First the kind of relationships that break up like that alltoo often were NOT that stable to begin with. Too many people try to use new things to repair a damaged relationship or to fix a problem that already exists. The classic being the man and woman not getting along so they decide to have a child to save their marrriage,Usually with disastorous results for everyone. If a relationship is not sound to begin with ANY kind of activity that brings problems to the surface simply serves as a catlyst NOT necessarily as a Cause.
Second anyone who becomes heavily involved in RPing whether online or in the older table top settings has to learn to define and maintain a strong, clear and well defined line between the RP world and the real world. A lot of times when problems occur its becasue people start to blur that line and to let things in a GAME affect their real life or let their real world feelings roll over into their gaming. I (Flaw) have romantic realtionships with people in the game. SHE (the person behind the keyboard) does not. She has friends THROUGH me with them, but if SWG went offline tomorrow or SHE had to quit the game for some reason she would not be dramtically affect. I MIGHT BE. Laugh! But she wouldn't be. See the difference.