Dancer Archive

I'm sorry, but if the conversation is accurate as stated, then I'm going to say that it was the dancer, not the patron, who was extremely rude in this case.

I know female dancers sometimes put up with a lot. Male dancers often do too, just of a different sort. Neither is a good excuse for being rude and snapping at someone who is simply trying to fling a compliment your way. And from what I'm reading, that's all the guy was doing.

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picklesSW wrote:
I'm sorry, but if the conversation is accurate as stated, then I'm going to say that it was the dancer, not the patron, who was extremely rude in this case.

I know female dancers sometimes put up with a lot. Male dancers often do too, just of a different sort. Neither is a good excuse for being rude and snapping at someone who is simply trying to fling a compliment your way. And from what I'm reading, that's all the guy was doing.

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Er, gotta disagree just a bitwith you here, Javy. Shemay haveoverreacted because it appears that it was not this player's intention to harrass her. However, we don't have the text of what he said to her and what he said was directedto the character's creator - not the character - which places it on a different level, altogether,for female players.

From what he does tell usapparently he didn't say a word to her prior to this incident. Suddenly a dancer gets an unsolicited tip for 25k (she probably had no idea whatsoever that he was even watching her and that's quite a tip to an entertainer) followed by a /tellcomment on her character's appearance. Not on her performance, but her looks.

I've gotten enough tells just like that to be wary of them. If the commentsare directed to Kirah, then I try to stay in character as long as it doesn't go much further (and the tells usually get replied to in spatial). If they are directed to "me" personally, I usually don't let the conversation go much further. I don't ignore, personally - to me that gives theoffending player far too much control (did it once early on the the player became even more obscene from what I was told).

Was she unnecessarly rude? Seems so. Was he stepping over the line on commenting in private /tell about the appearance of her character? If he hadn't struck up a conversation with her prior to this - yes. Common courtesy goes both ways. I have had a few incidents in RL where a guy would come up to me and offer me something of value while making a comment on how something I wore looked on me or how attractive I was. They got politely but firmly blown off. And if it went any further, the kid gloves would come right off.

Don't avoid entertainers - but do remember that there is a live person on the other side of the keyboard and don't treat them in a manner any differently than (I hope) you would if you saw them at the mall - with politeness.

Message Edited by kirah_ashlin on 09-28-2004 07:23 AM

You are correct, Kirah, in that we only have one side of the conversation, but as far as we know, the conversation went something like this...

Patron tips 25k
Patron: "Hi, you've built a very pretty twilek character there."
Dancer: "Well, thank you, but I am married."
Patron: "Just in case you ever forgot."
Dancer: "Piss off, you're on ignore."

Now certainly I'm not female, but it just seems like the dancer was hyper-sensitive there, as well as rude and ungrateful. Maybe the original poster is coloring the events to his benefit, we'll never know unless the twilek in question gives us another viewpoint, but I don't agree with telling this poster he deserved the treatment he got based on the conversation he reported there.

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Drygo wrote:

Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Javier here. If the conversation went as the poster described, the dancer was rude for no reason. Don't judge all entertainers by that rudeness, please. Hypersensitivity is unattractive.

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This guy judging all entertainers by this one's actions is the same as her judging him by the actions of other characters she's been in contact with. This is called prejudice (pre-judging someone based on experiences you've had or things you've been told about folks who have a particular quality --like being male). It's not tollerable.

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picklesSW wrote:
You are correct, Kirah, in that we only have one side of the conversation, but as far as we know, the conversation went something like this...

Patron tips 25k
Patron: "Hi, you've built a very pretty twilek character there."
Dancer: "Well, thank you, but I am married."
Patron: "Just in case you ever forgot."
Dancer: "Piss off, you're on ignore."

Now certainly I'm not female, but it just seems like the dancer was hyper-sensitive there, as well as rude and ungrateful. Maybe the original poster is coloring the events to his benefit, we'll never know unless the twilek in question gives us another viewpoint, but I don't agree with telling this poster he deserved the treatment he got based on the conversation he reported there.

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therealzizz wrote:

Your only mistake was trying to be nice to someone in Coronet cantina. On Wanderhome, Coronet cantina is the home of the buffbots. It is also home to tons of AFK performers and the glorious spam of "thanks for the heals and cheerful tips appreciated" BAH .Most of the Entertainers in there do not care about customers at all.She obviously didnt understand your compliment. If you did indeed say "how well she built her Twi'lek" and not how "well built she was"Those are two very different comments to a female. (that is if it even was a female behind it)Twileks are a dime a dozen and for one to get noticed for being well designed should make one feel kinda proud.

If you are looking for performers to appreciate, please patron the cantinas outside of Coronet.Bestine is known for its friendly atmosphere, as well as Theed. These cantinas usually are home to live Entertainers that will be more than happy to strike up a conversation with you and offer buffs as well. And of course, as always, your best behavior is appreciated.

zizz

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woah it is on kauri too!

Aherm, well, you must bear in mind, being an obviously "well built" Twi'lek, as you put it, she no doubt gets indecent proposals on a regular basis. Past experience has taught her to have a no nonsense policy about people who offer indecent proposals. She obviously mistook what you said for a very bad pickup line, and, since that was probably her 20'th for the day, was in "up yours" mode.

Basically, your intentions were missunderstood, due to the fact that what members of our gender that are complete and total slimeballs tend to spend their time in cantinas harassing dancers. So, the lesson you should have gotten from this is:

1.) Words in this toneless medium are often misconstrued as ill intended when that is not so.
2.) Pretty dancers often have to put up with all manner of indecency directed towards them.
3.) You should generally be careful that your words are not easilly misconstrued to avoid incidents like you experienced. Most likely it was the comment about how well her character was "built" that was misconstrued from the respectful admiration that it was, to the sleezy come on line that was obviously percieved.

Sorry you got put on ignore, but at least you can learn how sensitive pretty dancers can get about such things. That's the lesson you should take home, not to avoid dancers altogether. That would be a pretty foolish lesson to take from this experience, and would not correct the miscommunication that led to the mistaken intention.

Um...guys...

"Patron: "Just in case you ever forgot.""

That one's gonna get you in trouble. It implies "In case you forget you're married because I'm so sexy and you're such a s[ut, then we can hook up and do the nasty on the bar".

That one line got him in trouble, as I think it should have coming out of nowhere. Now, if he'd had more of a conversation with her before this, he might have been able to construe it as a joke, but with no previous conversation, this just looks like a very awkward come-on line.