Dancer Archive
Thread: Erotic Dance Guide Part Three
Style:
Here's where many dancers create problems for themselves without realizing it.
Perhaps YOU are bold and forward as I am.
Or perhaps you are shy and retiring.
BOTH work perfectly well in Erotic Dance. ANY personality style works. But the key is to build a style that reflects YOU. The guys who see you dance regularly build an idea of you as a person and if you chose to do Erotic Dance your dance style will have to reflect your personality. If you DON'T it will be obviously false and phoney and the guys will KNOW that and will NOT respond as you wish.
Let me give you an example. Anyone who knows me at all KNOWS that I am a strong and assertive woman. One of the routines I tried one day was to present myself as weak, helpless and needing protection. The response I got was Laughter. Instead of drawing a protective response from my target he Laughed at me! 'Come on Flaw! YOU weak! Laugh!' Everyone there got a good laugh out of it and I had to laugh myself when I realized how Phoney it appeared. I learned a GOOD lesson. Your Erotic Style has to reflect YOU!
If you try to FAKE it they will KNOW and will not respond as you want. Guys may be DUMB in some ways (Laugh!) but they're NOT stupid! SO think about how the guys respond to you in your general dancing. Teasing? Kind and protective? Afraid? Intimidated? Watch how they talk to you. Do they say things to reassure you? (Protective) Do they tease you gently. (Playful) Do they Challenge you with words to see how you will toss it back at them? (Strong)
Then think of the responses you are drawing.
Are you touching a Protective feeling in them? If so then style your Erotic Dance towards that desire to protect and shelter and comfort you. (The Eiloo style)
Are they playful and teasing? Then develop a teasing style with laughter and humor. (I believe this is the style that Anoula is developing.)
Are they challenging? The strong woman who WILL submit to a strong man because she Chooses to. I draw on their desire to Conquer me. (That is my style.)
I any case you need to develop a Style that is TRUE to your personality and it becomes an Extension or Enhancement of how they already see you.
You MAY be able to figure it out easily. Or it may take trial and error to see what works best for you. When I develop a new routine I want to try I'll often ask one of my male friends to help me and we'll go to the hotel or someplace less hectic and I'll try it out on him and then ask for his evaluation. That can be VERY helpful.
Professional vs Personal:
I take great care to make it clear that my Professional conduct and my Personal conduct are totally separate and distinct from one another. I take opportunities during general dance to mention my Boyfriend(s). Whether you have one or NOT it doesn't hurt to have the guys think you do. I may make some reference to him and I going for a Romantic walk yesterday. I ALWAYS refer to my dancing as my JOB! If some guy asks me out to go see something or offers to take me shopping or to see his house or WHATEVER I tell him 'Sorry hon I'm WORKING! This how I make my Living.'
I try at Every opportunity to make comments about my Job in the cantina. That I am a Professional and this is what I do to make a living. If someone asks me questions about my in-game life outside the cantina I tell them that my Profesional life and my Private life are separate. I draw a strong line between my activities INSIDE the Cantina and OUTSIDE the Cantina.
When I Enter the cantina I wear casual outside clothes and change once on the floor. When I leave the Cantina I ALWAYS change there on the floor into casual clothes. A simple dress or shirt and skirt. I use the clothes change to show a Transition between ME as an Individual and ME as a Dancer. When outside the Cantina I do NOT dress provocatively. My two primary Erotic Dancing outfits, the Wrap and the Leotard, I NEVER wear outside the Cantina, except perhaps in Private with my BF. (laugh) Again as a way of differentiating my Professional and my Private life. I don't flirt with the guys outside of the Cantina. I talk to them as friends and NOT as customers. If they try to flirt beyond very minor things I tell them 'If you wanna talk about THAT then come see me when I'm Working. Laugh.'
I also specify that I do Erotic Dance from X o'clock until Y o'clock. Outside of those hours I do NOT do Erotic Dance. This further serves to reinforce that my Erotic Dancing is a Professional Activity. If someone asks for an Erotic Dance during the day when I am dancing casually I simply tell them Sorry dear I start my Show at ... X o'clock. Again that -I- decide when and how I dance.
Often after I dance if I see that the target of my dance is NOT coming back from it and starts being enraptured with ME I'll use Tells to ask him things about my Dance in a way that makes it CLEAR that it was a Professional performance and not personal. Questions like. George, how did that routine work? That was a new routine I was trying. Did you find it effective? Was the question about turning around too strong or did it work for you? Did I change outfits too early or was my timing about right?
Asking for technical evaluations of parts of your routine in a neutral but friendly fashion serves to get the message across that you were performing a Professional routine WITHOUT having to hurt their feelings or cut them off in a mean fashion. It USUALLY does the job in prolly 80% of the cases.
I won't go into the issues of Online safety since they SHOULD be be well known. If not then do some research on it! But I'll throw a few out that SHOULD be obvious to all especially to WOMEN!
NEVER provide:
Real name
Home city or state
Email address (unless you have one specifically set up for IN CHARACTER gaming that
cannot be traced to YOU personally)
ANY detail about you that COULD be used to find or identify you in R/L
Usually if you encounter a problem with someone in game and the usual methods are not effective a private conversation with them in Tells making it clear that you are Role Playing and that your chars actions and personality do NOT reflect yours will take care of the situation.
One tactic that works but should be used with caution with a guy who just won't get the message is to strongly hint to him or even tell him blunty that you are Actually a guy in R/L. I used to use the line that I was actually a 61 yr old retired steel worker in Detroit and was sitting drinking a beer as I played. Laugh! That worked until the day I encountered a REAL steelworker and he quickly figured out that I knew NOTHING about steel making. Laugh!!! So use that tactic with caution but it IS something upon which you can fall back if pressed.
Another tactic is once you have made friends in game is to tell some of the guys bluntly about the problem and let THEM deal with it. Guys can sometimes communictae with other guys about such things MUCH more effectively than we can. Let your friends HELP you.
If all else fails of course you have system options available to you, Formal complaints, the Ignore option and Public announcement of the problem and the person causing it.
NEVER let yourself be forced into a corner or made to feel vulnerable. The best Defense is a STRONG offense. Deal with the problem BEFORE it gets out of hand.
Fell free to ask any questions if anything I said is not clear.
One has to wonder what it is that Flawed Diamond's occupation is. I'm thinking disillusioned empty-nest housewife or perhaps single Chartered Accountant. Whatever it is, it would appear that the sheer boredom of her life has driven her to create this elaborate egomaniacal fantasy life around her game.
In all seriousness, the three seperate threads you have started on this single subject are a classic cry for attention. I urge you, as a concerned human being, to seek professional counseling. Please don't delay.
Good luck!
Ouch man...that was cold. It's the "Dancer" boards, what else do you expect to be posted here? PvP tactics? Monster hunting spots? Best weapons and armor to buy?
Bro, this is a Dancer thread. It's made for the Dancers to give opinions and idea's on how to enhance there enjoyment of playing a Dancer. We do that in the TKA board all the time (thought the dev's never listen to a word we say...different topic, nuff said.).
Don't bash the Dancer for posting idea's on how to enhance the dancing atmosphere on the DANCER boards. Seriously, if she posted this on the general forums then maybe, but in the Dancer forum it's completely appropriate.
Nice attempt at humor, you get points for trying.
Bulbous2 wrote:One has to wonder what it is that Flawed Diamond's occupation is. I'm thinking disillusioned empty-nest housewife or perhaps single Chartered Accountant. Whatever it is, it would appear that the sheer boredom of her life has driven her to create this elaborate egomaniacal fantasy life around her game.
In all seriousness, the three seperate threads you have started on this single subject are a classic cry for attention. I urge you, as a concerned human being, to seek professional counseling. Please don't delay.
Good luck!
Laugh!!! Bulbous I guess you missed The part in the original thread about If its NOT about the technical aspects of Erotic Dance them please go away or send me a PM that I can ignore and delete. I guess you also missed the one where I specifically ASKEd if anyone was interested in some tutorials on Erotic Dance to which I received several public as wel as Pm responses in the affirmative. Right now I'm in HERE rather than plaing SWG as I would LIKE to be doing.
Dear, an Entertainer is someone who Performs. I.E. That someone WATCHES!. If you do not enjoy attention then Entertaining is PROLLY not the best field for you.
Hon I've been Roleplaying for over 30 years. I doubt you're even that old. I DO enjoy life. And PART of that life is my RP activities. I take great pleasure and pride in the character I create and whose life I manage. I believe I do it well.
Your analysis of my R/L is neither here nor there and quite frankly of little concern or interest to me. You know nothing about my R/L and are therefore in no position to pass judgement either Pro or Con on my life and the way I choose to live it. I personally would not feel free to make such judgements about other people's lives. But that's just me.
Perhaps I DO enjoy attention. If I amuse and entertain people then I will recieve that attention and I will have EARNED it, giving Value for Value. And in what way is that bad? If I give someone pleasure with my words or my dance and in return they say nice things to me or tip me who is the loser in the transaction?
I do not however seek attention by going where I am not welcome and try to elicit such attention by being rude or demeaning of others. That is the behavior of someone who wants attention but is not willing to EARN that attention by returning Value for that which they wish to gain.
Now, I'm busy so be a good boy and go find some 14 year old male playing a naked dancer on Tatooine who will amuse you and no doubt thank you for your analysis of their life and personality.
Bulbous, this style of dancing may not be the kind either of us prefers but there are a lot of dancers out there that want to know Flawed's style and how she handles things. She posted this in response to a lot of other Dancers asking for this information so she could help them and explain to them how she does things. She's not trying to stroke her own ego here, but help others that asked for her help. The fact that you have nothing better to do with your time then to tear down people like that and make stupid remarks puts you in excatly the same shoes you where trying to put her in. Perhaps its you that could use some counseling? Maybe you where picked on a lot when you wherein school? Just a thought.
This type of dancing may not be for me, but I appreciate Flawed's attempts to help the others dancers out there that are instrested in this type of dancing. Its just a shame kids like Bulbous who apparently have issues and feel the need to put others down have to flame her for trying to help.
As a woman, I'm not really sure what to make of these 3 guides either 
I guess this would be a really good guide for guys who are playing female characters and want to understand how to press certain buttons on guys, but overall, any woman can generally understand where a man thinks.
I think another thing to be concerned with is that this is much different than RL. The few friends in my life who used to strip absolutely LOATHE giving lap dances or any contact with customers. The only thing they focussed on was the money and knowing they were going to get paid.Everything in agentleman's club isone big illusion designed to part a man with his money.
I won't pass judgment on whether I think erotic dancing is a good technique or not. There are many styles out there to help you get tips. One thing to be sure to understand though is that many of your patrons are just there to heal up their BF and get back to action. The kind who are wanting to sit around and watch erotic dancing tend to be of the type who will either tease you about it or those who are very lonely RL.
Maybe Flawed has a right to post her views and thoughts on Exotic dancing. But the fact that she has just made THREE seperate threads ON THE SAME SUBJECT is completely overboard. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but one has to consider the countless other threads she has started which all deal with the same subject, so-called "Erotic" dancing. This is not her personal forum, nor is it a place where "Erotic" dancing is the norm. Indeed, most legitimate dancers consider this a perversion and a stain on an otherwise noble profession. Yet, Flawed seems to think the Dance world revolves around her.
This can be nothing else but a pathetic cry for attention, and I truly feel that she needs professional counselling.
I guess we're all entitled to our oppinions Bulbous.
I for one am in the group that doesn't care to have anything to do with this dancing, but at the same time I appreciate those helping others that do. As far as her reason for posting under three threads, my guess is after she posted each of the priors she realized she left some things she thought might be important out. Just a guess tho, I think your jumping to bad conclusions and are too eager to flame someone, but thats just my oppinion again.
2 things.
1)"Dear, an Entertainer is someone who Performs. I.E. That someone WATCHES!. If you do not enjoy attention then Entertaining is PROLLY not the best field for you." -Flawed
Technically, you "listen" to musicians... (Just had to throw that in for humor)
2)"guess this would be a really good guide for guys who are playing female characters and want to understand how to press certain buttons on guys, but overall, any woman can generally understand where a man thinks."
Cute...in a "Rain Man" kind of way. If you dont know what i mean, see the movie.
Bulbous2
I do not think there is anything wrong with posting a viewabout the opinions peopleexpresshere. If you think these posts are overanalyzing something, I think is completely legitimate to state that view or better still say why it is simpler than that.The dancer forum is for exactly that kind of differnce of opinion. I think making personal attacks on peopleabout the state of their mental health really goes over the line. Personal attacks divert from the subjects people are discussing, make people angry, take some of the enjoyment away from posting and playing and end up reflecting badly on everyone who participates in the exchange.I looked up some of your other posts and you look like you have strong opinions but are not someone just trolling to upset people. Please stop. I think you owe an apology, but that is your call.
Bulbous2 wrote:Maybe Flawed has a right to post her views and thoughts on Exotic dancing. But the fact that she has just made THREE seperate threads ON THE SAME SUBJECT is completely overboard. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but one has to consider the countless other threads she has started which all deal with the same subject, so-called "Erotic" dancing. This is not her personal forum, nor is it a place where "Erotic" dancing is the norm. Indeed, most legitimate dancers consider this a perversion and a stain on an otherwise noble profession. Yet, Flawed seems to think the Dance world revolves around her.
This can be nothing else but a pathetic cry for attention, and I truly feel that she needs professional counselling.
Dear a lot of the people who play dancers in SWG have NO experience with real dance. If my posts seem to Overanalyze the subject thats merely to ensure that I do not take for granted people having knowledge about things that dancing entails.
If no one is interested in them they will quickly fall off the page and be ignored. Thats fine too. Its MY time being wasted posting them and in that case no one looses except me.
I DO appreciate you commenting and therefore ensuring that they DO remain visible to anyone who might wish to read them. Laugh!
Honey if no one wants to read what I post they will ignore them. Thats fine with me. But you REALLY need to get a grip on things. Your evaluation of me is based upon a total lack of knowledge of me and is therefore of little value to me or anyone else. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from personal insults directed at me, my mental health and my moral values.
Lets make that a Formal request dear. Please stop insulting me and making personal attacks on my character. Is that clear enough dear? It becomes very tiresome.
FlawedDiamond wrote:
And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from personal insults directed at me, my mental health and my moral values.
Lets make that a Formal request dear. Please stop insulting me and making personal attacks on my character. Is that clear enough dear? It becomes very tiresome.
I am sorry that you have taken any dissention on your posts as "insults", when in fact, none have been made. What I have done is made a clinical analysis of your psyche based on yourMANY posts on the subject (now, a fourth thread on this very topic has sprung up) and posted my concern as to the status of your mental health. I am not calling you crazy, sleazy or anything else negative. I indicated that my post was driven out of concern, not of contempt. At no time did I make a personal attack; your calling it as such cannot get me to stop objecting to your forum spam.
'This can be nothing else but a pathetic cry for attention, and I truly feel that she needs professional counselling.'
How am I to interpret this other than some personal animus towards me as an individual? You have said nothing constructive as to the Subject of my message. No technical disputation of what I have said. You have merely condemned ME as an individual and for the Subject on which I sometimes post which is the style of dance I use in the game to make a living.
As for your characterization of your remarks as a 'clinical analysis of your psyche' please forward your credentials to me in a PM as a trained and qualified Clinical Psychologist or Psychiatrist, what school you attended, your degree and in which states you hold a license to practice either Psychiatry or Psychology.
Personally I have 3.5 years of Graduate School in Clinical Psychology with a specialization in the field of Aggression behavior and Human Sexuality. Perhaps we went to school together at some point or have met at one seminar or another.
I would be interested in reading the clinical analysis profile you have drawn up. I PERSONALLY would find that a daunting task creating a psychological profile based on writing of someone Role Playing in a game. Thats a VERY specialized field and I look forward to reading it.