Chef Archive
Thread: Most Annoying Customer
TevooRerio wrote:
"What is your best food?"
"Bantha Butter"
"Really? I've never heard of it."
"That's because it is pretty rare due to the rarity of the resources, and the difficulty it takes to make it."
"What kind of resources does it take?"
"Roughly 20 domesticated milk, 5 organic, and a krayt pearl"
At this point I hear nothing for 5 minutes...
"What are the stats?"
Sorry for the above I for got to quote this
Most common exchange <happens a lot>:
"Got your menu, I'd like to order <random number> crates of fishak. Can you deliver it to me in the next hour or so?"
"I don't do personal orders, you'll have to grab it from my vendor when I restock"
"Can I get a notice when that happens?"
"Sure, I send out a message to all my customers when I do."
"No, can you send me an email a couple of hours before you tell anyone else?"
"Umm, no"
Favorite Exchange:
"Can I get 50 crates of Glazed Glucose Pate? I'll pay really well for them"
"Well, I don't have the domesticated meat for that, if you supply me with it, we could work something out. I would need about 13k of that meat."
"No, you don't understand, I'll pay really well for it. If I don't get the meat for you,how much would it cost me?"
"It won't cost you anything, because I won't fill the order."
"Ok, I'm going to one of your competitors then, you just lost a sale!"
"Ok, here are the chefs I know that you can contact <chefs I don't like 
>"
I also dislike people that tell me I charge too much for food. Yes, my prices are a little bit higher than most chefs, but I refuse to have an empty vendor. It's just not good for business. I already charge 35k for Sunburn and 20 crates don't last more than a few days. I am seriously thinking of raising the price on that and Bivoli. HQ carnivore meat is hard to come by in large quanties. The last run I did was 5 crates and they all sold the first day for 50k.
Emeril
You know what I would do: make him a meatlump, and rename it "Poodoo".. and put it right in the middle of the house.
I usually deliver the big orders, those that place over a million credits worth, and for smaller orders I am usually paida fee for delivery, around 100k.
If the location is convient for me (on my route) then I dont mind.
Naturner wrote:
Favorite Exchange:
"Ok, here are the chefs I know that you can contact(chefs I hate)"
ROFLOL. As much as I like doing chef, I often pause at what Master Chef will bring. Being only a novice, I already have orders for fishak, BoH and other such greats from my guild members (some are more persistant than others). Hopefully, I will not appear on your favorite customers' radar anytime soon. 
ps. I really dislike this forum software.
Don't worry about my customer "referrals", I'm sitting on Ahazi
The most annoying customers are usually the people nearest you when you are in a situation where you cannot leave.
My poor hubby hates starports now, those and shuttleports, and cloning centers, and cantinas... you get the idea...
Here's some priceless ones I've heard:
What do you MEAN you can't make me 15 crates of BoH today? But I WANT it! You just lost a sale! (Show me a chef who wanders around with 15 crates of BoH in his pockets and I'll show you a chef who's finally snapped from the strain...)
Do you make any good food? (I've suggested he reply that no, all his food gives people gas.)
Here's my favorite story, though. He got disgusted with stupid questions for the day, and was forced to hang around in the Coronet starport area. (That place is insane on our server. 50 people outside the starport area on weekend nights, and usually 15+ people at the ticket droid come shuttle time.) To avoid more idiots he switched from his usual Master Chef or Iron Chef to Homemaker. Two seconds later, the guy next to him asked, Do you have any houses? Er, yes I do, I live on Dantooine... No I mean for sale! (You can probably tell where this is going at this point.) No I don't. What is a homemaker then? I'm a chef, not an architect. Where do I buy houses then? (Note that he's TOLD the guy that it's archtects and not homemakers that make houses.) From an architect...? (Five minutes or so pass.) Give me your WP already, I want a house and I have 3k. (The conversation continues in this manner for the next two minutes or so when thankfully he is rescued from this person by the shuttle.)
I often have 2 factories producing Fishak simultaneously, 1 i sell at discount rates to my guild and 1 is for external sales. One day whilst stood between these 2 factories a little Rodian wandered up to me.
"Wow! how much fishak?"
"quite a lot"
"Do you have any for sale?"
"no this is for my guild, in about an hour there will be some more that i will be selling"
"Ill buy the stuff you have for your guild"
"No you wont, its for my guild"
"ill give you 100k for a crate!"
"Tempting but i cant let them down"
"ok well can you contact me when its done?"
"Yes of course"
Well an hour went by and the fishak was ready, he asked if i could deliver to Endor....reluctantly i agreed. Due to always missing the shuttle it took nearly 30 minutes to get there but when i got there the little Rodian Greedily bought 4 crates and shuffled off happily into the trees.
15 Minutes later.....
"Hey, your Fishak isnt working!"
"Really? Whats wrong with it?"
"Well i drank some but my Action didnt go up. And i cant drink the rest of it either."
Pigs, Chef, Ronin, Chilastra, No competition for Cammeeeee!!
ugh that one is bad lol
Ive not really had too many bad customers...I think my worst nightmares come from people who just bought armor and its unsliced and they have NO comprehension about how encumberance works...they argue they need HAM not substats...they cant seem to just tell you what their stats are or what their armor encumberance is...and the first thing they inevitably do is quaff a sunburn before they ask for help.
Ive had some youngling chefs I thought I might strangle tho nothing like a novice chef asking for training and coming to your shop and telling you that you dont stock what he thinks that you should stock and you dont price how he thinks you should price....*cough* next time just visit the chef trainer please
Heh, this is a great thread. I have enjoyed these posts immensely since I can relate to just about every scenario.
I personally refuse to remove my Master Chef title, even when bombarded by moronic requests while running through Coronet. I feel I earned it, and I'll be damned if I am going to allow people to pigeonhole me into their idea of what a Chef "should" be.
As I have mentioned numerous times before, I don't sell to the general public anymore. It is just too frustrating, and I honestly don't need the money. What I get all the time is these peole who ask me for something ridiculous (ie 10 crates of fishak or "all the BoH you have", etc.), then proceed to blow a gasket when I won't sell to them. I tell them, Chef does not equal Merchant, and then usually just put them on ignore afterwards to avoid having to explain something they won't like or understand anyway.
What's really funny though is some of these same people whom are on my ignore list (I remember the names of morons very well...something I learned fom Everquest) come up to me in random places and stand in front of me or follow me around. It kills me, because I kow they are probably just fuming, trying to get my attention.
Cyene