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Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
Mought1971
Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:09 am
#1679
WaerbGloofin wrote:
I can't believe this thread is still going =)
Stupid crap happens to us Smugglers every day 
Cryosis21
Sat Apr 16, 2005 12:17 am
#1681
lol Ok ive spend the past hour reading all of these and got some real kicks out of them. So heres my 2 cents.
Im from the Sunrunner Server and for a breif period about a week ago Coronet was under Imperial control. I was standing just outside the starport and had my ATST standing out across the court. Some guy with the Master Marksman tag runs up to me and challenges me to a duel. I fairly warned him that I didnt want to duel him cus I would win. So he says that im afraid he will win and to give me the benifit he wont attack untill I say Attack in spatial chat. So I was like fine whatever ill kick his cocky little butt and be done with it. So I clicked duel off the radial menu and got rid of all my weapons since I figured I would just beat him down with my fists. He said he was ready and I said "Attack" in spatial chat(there were a bunch of people by this time watching us) the next thing I hear is "clang" "clang" "blast" "blast" and he is dead...I had completely forgot that the attack command for my ATST was in fact "Attack" lol...my ATST had incapped him and everybody started laughing...I was like...damn sorry man I forgot about that. he was pissed and started swearing at me in private chat saying I cheated. About a minute later he stood up and my ATST promptly attacked him again...only this time...Deathblow.
Im from the Sunrunner Server and for a breif period about a week ago Coronet was under Imperial control. I was standing just outside the starport and had my ATST standing out across the court. Some guy with the Master Marksman tag runs up to me and challenges me to a duel. I fairly warned him that I didnt want to duel him cus I would win. So he says that im afraid he will win and to give me the benifit he wont attack untill I say Attack in spatial chat. So I was like fine whatever ill kick his cocky little butt and be done with it. So I clicked duel off the radial menu and got rid of all my weapons since I figured I would just beat him down with my fists. He said he was ready and I said "Attack" in spatial chat(there were a bunch of people by this time watching us) the next thing I hear is "clang" "clang" "blast" "blast" and he is dead...I had completely forgot that the attack command for my ATST was in fact "Attack" lol...my ATST had incapped him and everybody started laughing...I was like...damn sorry man I forgot about that. he was pissed and started swearing at me in private chat saying I cheated. About a minute later he stood up and my ATST promptly attacked him again...only this time...Deathblow.
egbertvanloenen
Mon Apr 18, 2005 4:11 am
#1682
not SWG, but a response learned on this forum 
in WoW, im average-leveled and at the time of this story, not that poor.
a low level dude walks up to me and DEMANDS 1 gold. my learned response: let's duel... u win: u get the gold. u lose: u get nothing. he agrees, and /duel's me. i remove my weaponry to make the odds a little bigger for him(am i turning soft here???) and STILL, i only need 2 blows to win...
what follows is the usual response of profanities.
i said: ok, i'll give u another shot... this time: im giving u 1 minute to hit me. (am i confident or what?) i used the /sleep command, and he starts hitting me. this time, i DID equip my weapons, and only need 1 blow.
when he still continues swearing, i use the famed and feared /addignore...
this thread proved usefull for a laugh not only in SWg, but also in other games
FinderComnet
Mon Apr 18, 2005 6:13 pm
#1683
Oh yeah... I met that guy on Radiant.
Guy on Radiant: Hey.
Me: Hey what?
Guy on Radiant: Can you slice?
Me: Depends... You a cop?
Guy on Radiant: lol
Guy on Radiant: Are your clamps 99%?
Me: You didn't answer my question.
Guy on Radiant: I'm not a cop, you want me to smoke a fatty with you to prove it.
Me: Ok, then, to business, quality of supplies does not matter whatsoever, its all about luck and the skill of the slicer.
Guy on Radiant: Still... do you have 99% Clamps?
I am at this time having second thoughts on this whole transaction.
Me: Once again, it doesn't matter. Yes, I have high quality clamps but it doesn't matter.
Guy on Radiant: Where are you?
Me: C-net cantina.
Guy on Radiant:: I can't find you. Meet me outside.
Me: I don't meet people for slices anymore. I am in the cantina in the corner.
Guy on Radiant: I am outside the cantina. Meet me?
Me: I don't meet people who need my services, they come to me.
Me: ((Heres a cool trick type /target (name) and that will help you find people and things.))
Guy on Radiant: Cool.
A moment later the guy comes up to me in full imp gear and shoots me a trade.
Me: I don't deal with cops.
Guy on Radiant: Trade with me.
Me: Sorry, what?
Guy on Radiant: I need a slice:
Me: Sorry, I can slice but I don't because that would be against imperial law.
Guy on Radiant: Come on dood!
Me: I am a good imperial citizen.... Really.
Guy on Radiant: DOOd!
Me: Sorry. No can do.
Guy on Radiant: Nevermind....
Kevlarto
Mon Apr 18, 2005 10:31 pm
#1684
I had a guy ask me where is the nearest smuggler trainer, I told him the city and even gave him the way point and explained, take the shuttle to the city, and then activate the waypoint, and follow the arrow, he replies, "What do I do with this waypoint, and how do I find this guy," so I explained it again, in very simple terms, and he replies "ok i got a waypoint but how do I get there", at that point I told him my friends are here gota go good luck, I just walked off beside some one i never even seen before
Kevlarto
Mon Apr 18, 2005 10:41 pm
#1685
ROFL
Good stories, I work with the public, in rl, and these stories are even that much more funny to me, bacuse i can relate them to rl happenings lol
No where is safe, some idiot will find you lol
Alpha_Bits
Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:07 am
#1686
So there I was... in Coronet...
I head over to the hotel to get mind buffed by Airdew and I see a little group in there already. I run up, wait like ten seconds... no invite to join. I run in a circle a few times, no invite. Then...
Me: Hey, could I get an invite here?
Redhead: Us, too!
I check Airdew and the guy he's grouped with is standing there, master swordsman Colonel in full comp armor.
Me: Maybe he's AFK.
Red: I saw him move earlier, though.
Airdew the Buffbot leaves the group and Red's boyfriend invites him to a group quick, then invites me...
Me: Thank you very much!
BF: You're welcome!
Colonel Douchebag starts moving around...
Col DB: Could I get an invite?
After some good-natured teasing, the Colonel makes a really overly dramatic, ominous threat at Red, like "The never knows... she could never know...." then runs off.
Red: Geez, some people are so serious.
Me: Maybe he's just socially inept.
Col DB: I'm not socially inept, I'm just better than you could ever hope to be.
Me: Sounds socially inept to me...
/addignore
I head over to the hotel to get mind buffed by Airdew and I see a little group in there already. I run up, wait like ten seconds... no invite to join. I run in a circle a few times, no invite. Then...
Me: Hey, could I get an invite here?
Redhead: Us, too!
I check Airdew and the guy he's grouped with is standing there, master swordsman Colonel in full comp armor.
Me: Maybe he's AFK.
Red: I saw him move earlier, though.
Airdew the Buffbot leaves the group and Red's boyfriend invites him to a group quick, then invites me...
Me: Thank you very much!
BF: You're welcome!
Colonel Douchebag starts moving around...
Col DB: Could I get an invite?
After some good-natured teasing, the Colonel makes a really overly dramatic, ominous threat at Red, like "The never knows... she could never know...." then runs off.
Red: Geez, some people are so serious.
Me: Maybe he's just socially inept.
Col DB: I'm not socially inept, I'm just better than you could ever hope to be.
Me: Sounds socially inept to me...
/addignore
Master_Artisan
Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:07 pm
#1687
Here's yet another tragic story of the poorly informed/rude customer:
I'm standing in Eisley when some wookie comes up and and the following incident unfolded...
wook: can you damage slice my geo pistol please
(5 seconds later)
wook: hello?
Me: Yes I can slice it
wook: thanks
Me: but what is affected is random
wook: that's not true
Me: accually, it is
wook: not last I heard like un a few minutes ago
(this is all verbatim mind you)
wook: look ok I need a dmg slice
Me: well whoever told you that is poorly informed
Nice customer: hi
Me (to nice customer hence forth known as ithorian): hey
wook: well I would like a dmg slice and if it come out dmg there might be some money involved ok
Me: there's going to be money involved either way unfortunatly
Ithorian: how much do you charge for weapons slicing?
Me: 10k a slice
wook: no problem
wook: more money is what I mean
wook: how much?
Me: it's 10k for the slice
wook: ok
Ithorian: can you slice 2 things for me?
Me: sure thing, I'm at the starport
wook: I bank tip aint got the money on me
Me: np
Ithorian: okay tipped, send a tell when you're ready.
(I trade with the wook)
wook: that pistol's worth 2 mil I'm told
(it was a standard geo, 200k maybe)
(I slice the weapon and low and behold, it's a 35% speed slice.. why do the gods hat me?)
Me: sorry man, 35% speed
wook: okay, can you slice it again (notice he never used punctuation once)
Me: nope, only once
wook: i guess money is of no importance to you 100k will look nice in my bank
Me: hm?
wook: hm what
Me: what did you mean by that?
wook: I was going to put in an extra 100k if it was damage a slice
Me: Good for you. But like I said, I can't control it. And it was a max 35% speed slice, I know lots of people who would be overjoyed for that.
wook: i dont know what that means
Me: it means you can't get a slice higher than 35% which is rare and pretty nice.
wook: so trade if youre done
Me: no "thank you"?
wook: no thank you what
Me: *sigh* nevermind
wook: what do you mean
Me: nothing, I mean nothing
(what happened next caught me completely by suprise)
wook: okay, it was a pleasure doing buisness with you *kowtow*
I went on to slice the Ithorian's stuff and get 30, 22 and 32% damage slices. He was estatic and told me he'd contact me if he needed slicing work done again. Dumb slicing gods have a weird sense of humor *braces for 11% slice*.
I'm standing in Eisley when some wookie comes up and and the following incident unfolded...
wook: can you damage slice my geo pistol please
(5 seconds later)
wook: hello?
Me: Yes I can slice it
wook: thanks
Me: but what is affected is random
wook: that's not true
Me: accually, it is
wook: not last I heard like un a few minutes ago
(this is all verbatim mind you)
wook: look ok I need a dmg slice
Me: well whoever told you that is poorly informed
Nice customer: hi
Me (to nice customer hence forth known as ithorian): hey
wook: well I would like a dmg slice and if it come out dmg there might be some money involved ok
Me: there's going to be money involved either way unfortunatly
Ithorian: how much do you charge for weapons slicing?
Me: 10k a slice
wook: no problem
wook: more money is what I mean
wook: how much?
Me: it's 10k for the slice
wook: ok
Ithorian: can you slice 2 things for me?
Me: sure thing, I'm at the starport
wook: I bank tip aint got the money on me
Me: np
Ithorian: okay tipped, send a tell when you're ready.
(I trade with the wook)
wook: that pistol's worth 2 mil I'm told
(it was a standard geo, 200k maybe)
(I slice the weapon and low and behold, it's a 35% speed slice.. why do the gods hat me?)
Me: sorry man, 35% speed
wook: okay, can you slice it again (notice he never used punctuation once)
Me: nope, only once
wook: i guess money is of no importance to you 100k will look nice in my bank
Me: hm?
wook: hm what
Me: what did you mean by that?
wook: I was going to put in an extra 100k if it was damage a slice
Me: Good for you. But like I said, I can't control it. And it was a max 35% speed slice, I know lots of people who would be overjoyed for that.
wook: i dont know what that means
Me: it means you can't get a slice higher than 35% which is rare and pretty nice.
wook: so trade if youre done
Me: no "thank you"?
wook: no thank you what
Me: *sigh* nevermind
wook: what do you mean
Me: nothing, I mean nothing
(what happened next caught me completely by suprise)
wook: okay, it was a pleasure doing buisness with you *kowtow*
I went on to slice the Ithorian's stuff and get 30, 22 and 32% damage slices. He was estatic and told me he'd contact me if he needed slicing work done again. Dumb slicing gods have a weird sense of humor *braces for 11% slice*.
WaerbGloofin
Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:09 am
#1688
Fernas wrote:
y'know, i was wondering if Waerb was still alive. what do you think of your monster Dr. Frankenstein?
It's ALIVE!
I'm just amazed at how many pages of funny stories are out there. Smugglers still rule for being good natured, crafty and fun. This place is still more fun than the Jedi boards. Jedi are too whiney.
Vrgoku
Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:42 pm
#1690
Hey i dont mean to sound like some idiot obnoxiously plugging something of his own agenda
but its time for the smugglers to unite and the movements already underway if you want to be a party of the new Smugglers alliance then
go to Smugglers ALLiance