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Thread: A chuckle for the smuggler
egbertvanloenen
Mon Apr 04, 2005 11:38 pm
#1652
Jaguarrr wrote:
Eulbobo wrote:
You shoulda just said "I *can*, but I won't." Then if he didn't get it, just walk off.
Or just "i need some ingredients i don't have to slice right now... Can you hunt these for me? And i'll make it free for you. I need rancor hide. You will find them on dathomir. And if you can Kill a nightsister and take some of her hide, it will be even better"....
Quenker Tears, Carrion Spat Feathers and Crystal Snake Footnails...
just ask him to get u the RIS-parts, and then u'll slice for free... even get theclamp/wauk/knives for him if he gets u that.
Message Edited by egbertvanloenen on 04-05-2005 08:39 AM
egbertvanloenen
Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:41 am
#1653
just grab the items, slice, then get the hell outta there
and only slice if he has another set 
naturally: 1 slice per set...
morality? what's that? is it something you can eat?
Message Edited by egbertvanloenen on 04-05-2005 12:41 PM
Jaguarrr
Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:44 am
#1654
egbertvanloenen wrote:
just grab the items, slice, then get the hell outta there
and only slice if he has another set
naturally: 1 slice per set...
morality? what's that? is it something you can eat?
Message Edited by egbertvanloenen on 04-05-2005 12:41 PM
The moral of keeping my wallet filled or my mind undamaged.
egbertvanloenen
Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:45 am
#1655
Jaguarrr wrote:
egbertvanloenen wrote:
just grab the items, slice, then get the hell outta there
and only slice if he has another set
naturally: 1 slice per set...
morality? what's that? is it something you can eat?
Message Edited by egbertvanloenen on 04-05-2005 12:41 PM
The moral of keeping my wallet filled or my mind undamaged.
with a wallet filled that much, u can BUY a new mind
even better: buy 10, and get a free gift-wrapping!
Thochkored
Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:59 am
#1656
Cendatinea wrote:
Ok, maybe not a chuckle, but it made me giggle.
I had two guys ask me for slices yesterday. One was a powerhammer, the other a scythe. I got damage slices on both, one was a 24%, the other a 30%. Different guys, and I got the same response:
"i love you"
Who knew slicing would lead to love?
Message Edited by Cendatinea on 04-05-2005 06:57 AM
LOL, even funnier, I had two guys waiting for slices, first one hands me a weapon and I slice it for32% speed, he swears and tells me he is speed capped, but pays like a good customer. 2nd guy hands me the same weapon I slice it for 32% speed, he jumps for joy tips and 2 min later I get a tell from a buddy of his, hoping for the same result.
EchO-
Tue Apr 05, 2005 9:04 am
#1657
i was in dant, and he was in naboo.
Him: "hey, can you slice my weapons for a damage slice?"
Me: "i cant choose, it's all random"
Him: "no its not"
Me: "yes it is"
Him: "no its not"
Me: "then why'd you ask me?"
Him: "my friend just told me how"
Me: "that's great, have him slice your weapons."
Him: "since you're imp, i'll tell you."
Him: "come to naboo, heres the wp <<WP HERE>>"
so i go there, thinking meh, might as well try
Him: "Here"
he gives me a krayt carbine to slice
Me: "Ok what do i do?"
Him: "Slice it with dmg"
Me: "I dont know how, you were going to tell me"
Him: "I don't know, try it"
......yeah
JaekeW
Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:30 am
#1658
Ok got one that happened a week or so ago;
/tell fromdude : Hey I just bought an awesome weapon from goodweaponsmith, he recommended you to slice it for me.
/me : ok I charge 10k per slice and im on corellia, ill meet you at the shuttle.
/tell fromdude : thats a little high and im on someotherplanet , ill get back to you
/me : ok
10 minutes later.....
/tell fromdude : man i shoulda used you, this guy just failed on my weapon , grrrrooooaaannnnn
/me : failed??? this guy didnt use a clamp or what???
/me : um...im sorry......maybe after the smuggler revamp or the CU you can get it resliced
/tell fromdude : this really sucks....i just spent 6 mil on this gun
/me : and 10k for a slice is high?
MISTagent01
Tue Apr 05, 2005 1:21 pm
#1659
Gaitan wrote:
Ctrl-1 to check my title. I know I dropped the Slicer tag, wanted to make sure I hadn't somehow substituted "Village Idiot" for it.
*points up*
Seriously, I think that one is my favorite so far.
Cendatinea
Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:01 pm
#1660
OMG, /rofl
Gaitan wrote:
I break the happy news to him, and find myself rapidly taking notes on new profanities that I've not heard before. Use your imagination (and I'm betting you still won't even be close to what he said).
*Note to self: Investigate why someone that uses "ur", 2, "m8", "ltr" and all sorts of shorthand still has the desire to spell out the entire profanity.*
But the night is still young. Back to savage quenkers since I'll need enough XP to train Novice Pistoleer (someone just gave me a DX2, might as well be able to use it right?and I wander back into New Dublin. They have a great setup there, love the place. *ping*
Ctrl-1 to check my title. I know I dropped the Slicer tag, wanted to make sure I hadn't somehow substituted "Village Idiot" for it.
Gaitan
Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:15 am
#1661
I'm on Dantooine, taking on quenkers with my little green droid out in the hopes something will take a liking to it in the way things have taken a liking to my speederbike. (No luck so far, next stop - Dathomir.) I've managed to work my way up to 1-4-4-4 Smuggler, and I'm proudly displaying my "Slicer" title. The familiar ping of an incoming tell informs me that the games shall begin.
"can u slice my pistol?"
"I can, but you should know I'm not a master."
'that's ok. i just want it 2 b faster"
Uh-oh.
"you know it's random right? We won't get to choose until the CU and the smuggler upgrade comes in. You might get a damage increase instead."
"ok. but it might b faster"
Maybe I should get out of this one now.
"maybe you should look around for a master smuggler. I know there's one around the Mining Outpost, they just trained me a little bit ago. <name> is her name. Why not send her a tell?"
A moment of regret. She really *was* nice, and offered some good tips on training. I just turfed Rain Man off on her and I'm pretty sure he'll use my name.
"she no on"
Okay, one of those good news/bad news sort of things.
"okay I'm headed to the mining outpost now, why not meet me in the cantina?"
"k"
The usual meet and greet, he's got the "/" stuff down with bows and greetings and smiles. A trade request later and I'm holding a DX2.
"how much"
"Just pay me what you think it's worth."
"rmember spd plz"
I have a bad feeling about this. Slice and dice, presto change-o and...
13% Damage slice. (Nice touch with the "!" at the end there SOE.)
I break the happy news to him, and find myself rapidly taking notes on new profanities that I've not heard before. Use your imagination (and I'm betting you still won't even be close to what he said).
"i'm not paying u 4 that"
"Excuse me? I warned you I wasn't a Master, and I also told you there was a chance it wouldn't be a speed slice. A 50% chance since there are only two choices. Now I've used up a molecular clamp and 2 charges on a laser knife, and my time isn't free. I expect something, even if it's only 500 or 1000 credits."
<new round of expletives, I do believe there was a "no" in there>
*Note to self: Investigate why someone that uses "ur", 2, "m8", "ltr" and all sorts of shorthand still has the desire to spell out the entire profanity.*
But I digress. He calms down and refuses to pay anything for the slice. At this point I'm tempted to /tip *him* something to make him go away. He starts in again on the reasons he's not paying and the word "noob" enters the conversation. My buffs are wasting away, so I just say "Thanks for the pistol" and head out the door.
"ur keepin it?"
"yep. Thanks for the pistol. Better swear fast because by the time you finish reading this message you'll be on my ignore list. Man I *love* that part of this game don't you?"
/addignore <name>
But the night is still young. Back to savage quenkers since I'll need enough XP to train Novice Pistoleer (someone just gave me a DX2, might as well be able to use it right? and I wander back into New Dublin. They have a great setup there, love the place. *ping*
"u got brandy?"
Ctrl-1 to check my title. I know I dropped the Slicer tag, wanted to make sure I hadn't somehow substituted "Village Idiot" for it.
"Yes I do, brought a case of it"
"u got extra?"
"It's a case of 25 and it last for 46 minutes, so it should last me a while." Jeez, how much does this guy think I need anyways?
"i need some"
<email waypoint to Theed Mall>
"no i mean now u got extra i cn have?" (Can't believe I didn't see that one coming)
"Why not just run to Theed Mall and grab some?"
"take 2 long"
"Theed Mall is less than 900m from Theed starport. If you've got JtL you can be there and back in 5 minutes."
"u can't give me some extra?"
Ctrl-1 (Just making sure)
"In less time than you've spent sending me tells, you could have been there and back."
"so no?"
"If I could split one it wouldn't be a problem, but the one I have out has 18 sips left."
"i need 2 only i will give back. u have enuff"
Ctrl-1 (Can't hurt right?)
"Yes, I carry extra so I won't look like a complete idiot asking someone if *they* have extra brandy."
"why not?"
"Because there is 4 things in life I can't stand. Drunk women, stupid people, dull razors and warm beer. In just about that order too."
Silence.
/addignore <name> (Just making sure.)
"can u slice my pistol?"
"I can, but you should know I'm not a master."
'that's ok. i just want it 2 b faster"
Uh-oh.
"you know it's random right? We won't get to choose until the CU and the smuggler upgrade comes in. You might get a damage increase instead."
"ok. but it might b faster"
Maybe I should get out of this one now.
"maybe you should look around for a master smuggler. I know there's one around the Mining Outpost, they just trained me a little bit ago. <name> is her name. Why not send her a tell?"
A moment of regret. She really *was* nice, and offered some good tips on training. I just turfed Rain Man off on her and I'm pretty sure he'll use my name.
"she no on"
Okay, one of those good news/bad news sort of things.
"okay I'm headed to the mining outpost now, why not meet me in the cantina?"
"k"
The usual meet and greet, he's got the "/" stuff down with bows and greetings and smiles. A trade request later and I'm holding a DX2.
"how much"
"Just pay me what you think it's worth."
"rmember spd plz"
I have a bad feeling about this. Slice and dice, presto change-o and...
13% Damage slice. (Nice touch with the "!" at the end there SOE.)
I break the happy news to him, and find myself rapidly taking notes on new profanities that I've not heard before. Use your imagination (and I'm betting you still won't even be close to what he said).
"i'm not paying u 4 that"
"Excuse me? I warned you I wasn't a Master, and I also told you there was a chance it wouldn't be a speed slice. A 50% chance since there are only two choices. Now I've used up a molecular clamp and 2 charges on a laser knife, and my time isn't free. I expect something, even if it's only 500 or 1000 credits."
<new round of expletives, I do believe there was a "no" in there>
*Note to self: Investigate why someone that uses "ur", 2, "m8", "ltr" and all sorts of shorthand still has the desire to spell out the entire profanity.*
But I digress. He calms down and refuses to pay anything for the slice. At this point I'm tempted to /tip *him* something to make him go away. He starts in again on the reasons he's not paying and the word "noob" enters the conversation. My buffs are wasting away, so I just say "Thanks for the pistol" and head out the door.
"ur keepin it?"
"yep. Thanks for the pistol. Better swear fast because by the time you finish reading this message you'll be on my ignore list. Man I *love* that part of this game don't you?"
/addignore <name>
But the night is still young. Back to savage quenkers since I'll need enough XP to train Novice Pistoleer (someone just gave me a DX2, might as well be able to use it right?
and I wander back into New Dublin. They have a great setup there, love the place. *ping*"u got brandy?"
Ctrl-1 to check my title. I know I dropped the Slicer tag, wanted to make sure I hadn't somehow substituted "Village Idiot" for it.
"Yes I do, brought a case of it"
"u got extra?"
"It's a case of 25 and it last for 46 minutes, so it should last me a while." Jeez, how much does this guy think I need anyways?
"i need some"
<email waypoint to Theed Mall>
"no i mean now u got extra i cn have?" (Can't believe I didn't see that one coming)
"Why not just run to Theed Mall and grab some?"
"take 2 long"
"Theed Mall is less than 900m from Theed starport. If you've got JtL you can be there and back in 5 minutes."
"u can't give me some extra?"
Ctrl-1 (Just making sure)
"In less time than you've spent sending me tells, you could have been there and back."
"so no?"
"If I could split one it wouldn't be a problem, but the one I have out has 18 sips left."
"i need 2 only i will give back. u have enuff"
Ctrl-1 (Can't hurt right?)
"Yes, I carry extra so I won't look like a complete idiot asking someone if *they* have extra brandy."
"why not?"
"Because there is 4 things in life I can't stand. Drunk women, stupid people, dull razors and warm beer. In just about that order too."
Silence.
/addignore <name> (Just making sure.)
Obed
Wed Apr 06, 2005 9:46 pm
#1662
Being the scoundrelly fellow I am, I knew it was my duty to end my gaming session in the local cantina. As I was looking for a nice, secluded table to finish my Tatooine Sunburn and take a long nap, I reptillian fellow calls to me from behind.
"Smuggler!" he yells. Double-checking my name tag, I see that he is indeed talking to me me. "Can you slice my stun baton?"
"Sure," I answer. "It'll cost you 10k."
He agrees and hands over the weapon. I start to get my tools together.
"Wait!" he cries. "Don't start slicing yet!" Fearing this was going to be a case of insufficient funds, I nod at him. "Kneel with me," he says, dropping to one knee. Being in an acquiescent mood, I do the same.
"Lord," he prays, "please, please, please, PLEASE.... let it be a damage slice."
"Amen," I respond, getting to my feet, and proceed to slice his weapon.
Being a man of faith, I'm ashamed to admit that I was genuinely suprised when the slice was, indeed, a decent damage slice.
Of course, when he proceeded to worship me upon completion of the deal, I decided that faith may have had little to do withthis...
Lokiman_Lonewolf
Thu Apr 07, 2005 5:43 am
#1663
I think I will start having my customers pray like that before I slice. It really can't hurt now can it?
egbertvanloenen
Thu Apr 07, 2005 7:30 am
#1664
never hurts to Meditate before slicing Special(weapons with looted components in it) weapons.
i had one guy repeatedly spam /worship and /dance aLOT...
worst part: he got a dmg slice too...