Teras Kasi Archive
Thread: Fact, Fiction, or Fix?
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blastcypher
Fri May 07, 2004 6:32 pm
#1
IM GOING TOSUBMIT A SHORTSTORY AND YOU TELL ME, IS IT FACT, OR FICTION?
CRITIQUE THE CLUES IN RED:
THE GCC HORIZON DESCENDED THROUGH THE TWILIGHT, SLOWLY MAKING A CAUTIONED LANDING IN THE MURKY SWAMP 2000 METERS FROM SENTINEL CITY. CAPTAIN DANIELS - A YOUNG REBEL FEMALE - WOULD MEET WITH DOBAH, A MASTER TERAS KASI WARRIOR, AND MENTOR TO DUBAH. HER BELOVED DUBAH WAS A PRISONER IN SENTINEL CITY, AND CAPTAIN DANIELS HAD GONE THROUGH A LOT OF TROUBLE FINDINGHIS SECRETIVE MASTER TO HELP FREE HIM. DOBAH WAS TO MEET CAPTAIN DANIELS IN THE SWAMP THIS NIGHT, 2000 METERS FROM SENTINEL CITY, AT THIS HOUR; NO SOONER, NO LATER.
CAPTAIN DANIELS WAS FEARFUL OF HER SURROUNDINGS, THE MURKY WATER WAS THICK AND PULLED AT HER BOOTS. SHE HEARD FOOTSTEPS, BOOTED STEPS, HEAVY AND DRUDGING NOT LIKE THOSE OF DUBAH WHO FOUND DELIGHT IN STEALTH.
THESE WERE THE FOOTSTEPS OF.... DARKTROOPERS! THEY SURROUNDED HER, OUT OF SIGHT BUT SHE COULD FEEL THE GLARE OF HATRED EVEN FILTERED THROUGH THEIR HELMETS. SILENCE MUFFLED THE SWAMP AS IF LIFE ITSELF WAS BEING DRAGGED AWAY WHISPERING. SHE TURNED HASTILY IN EVERY DIRECTION. HAD SHE BEEN DECEIVED BY DOBAH, SHE THOUGHT.
SHE HAD FELT AT THAT MOMENT THAT ALL HOPE WAS LOST, THAT DEATH WAS NEAR, AND HER GRAVE BED WOULD NOT BE FAR FROM WHERE SHE NOW SHIVERED. SHE COULD HEAR HER HEARTBEAT, AND ALSO.... CHANTING. THE CHANTING UNLIKE THE DRUM OF HER HEARTBEAT GREW IN POWER AND SOON DEVELOPED INTO A PIERCING HOWL. MOST DARKTROOPERS DROPPED THEIR WEAPONS - MOVING INTO THE EYE OF TWILIGHT - SOME FELL COMPLETELY OVER, OTHERS TO A KNEE. AND THEN RED FISTS ENGRAVED THE THE DARKNESS WITH SWIFT PRECISION, ATTACKING THE DARKTROOPERS AS THEY ATTEMPTED TO EQUIP THEIR WEAPONS OR STAND TO FIGHT. IN ONLY SECONDS,EIGHT DARKTROOPERS FELL TO THE MIGHT OF DOBAH, A TERAS KASI MASTER.
THE HOWL OF THE TERAS KASI MASTER MADE SOME OF THE DARKTROOPERS DROP THEIR WEAPONS, FALL TO A KNEE, OR COMPLETELY FALL DOWN. THEY WERE SO SHAKEN THAT IT TOOK TIME FOR THEM TO GATHER THEMSELVES AND ATTEMPT TO EQUIP THEIR WEAPONS AGAIN. BY THEN, THEY HAD ALL FALLEN. FACT, FICTION, OR FIX?
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