Smuggler Archive
Thread: Smuggler Story
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ShrekECPI
Sun Jul 17, 2005 7:22 am
#1
Ibin's Slicing Adventure
After a long, restless night Ibin awakens from a terrible nightmare. Checking himself in the cockpit mirror Ibin is relived to find that he is not in actuality a lizard from another dimension. A dimension named Ahazi, a lizard named Omic. He is in fact still Ibin the long haired, dashing, Master Smuggler of the true reality, Bria. Why he considers himself a Master at Smuggling he does not know. A little voice inside tells him he does not actually Smuggle, yet he knows in his heart of hearts that he will "Soon, TM". Shaking off the strange dream Ibin finds that he has finally arrived home, Tatooine. He has been limping along barely able to make the final jump to hyperspace due to the damage to his engines. After realizing that his battle against the ISD Developer, the latest incarnation of the Empire's evil, was truly hopeless he escapes into hyperspace, barely. He has to make several short jumps due to the loss of his navigation systems. Endor to Dantooine to Lok and finally Tatooine, home at last. Much to the chagrin of the local constabulary he struts out into the harsh light of Mos Eisley's midday suns. Why, you ask, does the local police force feel foolish in Ibin's presence? He is a Master Smuggler, they know about his drug labs, his illegal weapon and armor modifications, they know that he has bought his way into the hearts of the establishment which they serve. Yet they can do nothing about it.
Then, just as he is about leave for his modest home he hears the call. The call that brings pain, suffering and useless experience.
"Hea d00d can u sl1ce my c0nta1ner??? d00d?"
It is the call of the noob.
Thinking to himself "if I were overt, if I was overt just this once".
"Yeah, bring it here. I'll open it for you."
"tanhks d00d, tahts grate"
So Ibin proceeds to 'slice' the container for this noob and finds that his trusty laser knife will no longer function. Ok, no biggie, I'll just rip it open with my bare hands since none of my tools work.
"Done deal, here's your container"
"hey u fccking d0rk this is a crappy N00b pistol"
"That’s how it goes, you usually just get junk from those things now"
Name calling, threats of getting reported, cursing ensue. 'Oh well, another day in the life of a Smuggler' Ibin thinks to himself as he goes about opening the container that was in the n00b's container in which was placed a looted D18. Much to his delight the strange looking inner container, it is square and strangely cold, there are two more, smaller, even colder containers inside. Each of these containers bore markings in an unusual language he could not quite make out. After searching his personal datapad he found the translation:
Thaw for 1 1/2 hours then microwave for 1 minute.
Enjoy your Mrs. Smith's Cherry Pie.
Enjoy your Mrs. Smith's Cherry Pie.
To all my fellow Smugglers out there, I've been wanting a slice of pie thanks to all this talk of sweets and now I shall enjoy two. 
- Alliance Soldier
ShrekECPI
Sun Jul 17, 2005 8:27 am
#2
I need someone to deliver some diet rootbeer to my workplace.
If you could Smuggle that over here my treat would be complete.
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