Smuggler Archive
Thread: The chronicals of a drunken smuggler who couldnt get to a computer
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djlowballer
Sat Jul 16, 2005 2:12 pm
#1
Allright folks, interesting adventure to liven up the otherwise depressed community:
Last night, the boat which employs me ( and will serve my future smuggling needs) held a booze cruise. Kegs, bands, women, all the neccessities. I began the night by properly drinking 5 beers and using underworld 1 to communicate with all the people on the boat.
The night was young and I was on the prowl for sweet sweet loving. I found a target and proceded to seduce her in the only way a smuggler can ( no i did not liqour her up I actually used charm). After my carnal lusts were satisfied on the roof of the boat, my smuggler sense tingled. I turn to see a boat closing in on us. This was the middle of the chesepeake bay, at 2 am there shouldnt be any other craft out where we were aside from commercial shipping boats and tugs. I feared the worst: Coasties. Those coast guardians are a wiley lot, waiting till you are drunk on the boat at sea and cannot run. I wasnt afraid though, my drunken smuggler instincts kicked in and I cause a ruckus on the bow of the boat, then decisively jumping off the rear of the vessel. Those coasties would never get me. A fatal flaw in my plan however was I just jumped into 90 ft deep water, in a bay, about 5 miles from shore. Most any other profession would just lay down and die, but me nah. I pick up the lights of the closest shore and began to use my combat swimming stroke. It was treachorous passage and I was pretty scared. after about an hour of solid swimming, I was rescued by the boat I escaped from. What I thought were coasties were nothing more than freinds making a beer run.
Last night, the boat which employs me ( and will serve my future smuggling needs) held a booze cruise. Kegs, bands, women, all the neccessities. I began the night by properly drinking 5 beers and using underworld 1 to communicate with all the people on the boat.
The night was young and I was on the prowl for sweet sweet loving. I found a target and proceded to seduce her in the only way a smuggler can ( no i did not liqour her up I actually used charm). After my carnal lusts were satisfied on the roof of the boat, my smuggler sense tingled. I turn to see a boat closing in on us. This was the middle of the chesepeake bay, at 2 am there shouldnt be any other craft out where we were aside from commercial shipping boats and tugs. I feared the worst: Coasties. Those coast guardians are a wiley lot, waiting till you are drunk on the boat at sea and cannot run. I wasnt afraid though, my drunken smuggler instincts kicked in and I cause a ruckus on the bow of the boat, then decisively jumping off the rear of the vessel. Those coasties would never get me. A fatal flaw in my plan however was I just jumped into 90 ft deep water, in a bay, about 5 miles from shore. Most any other profession would just lay down and die, but me nah. I pick up the lights of the closest shore and began to use my combat swimming stroke. It was treachorous passage and I was pretty scared. after about an hour of solid swimming, I was rescued by the boat I escaped from. What I thought were coasties were nothing more than freinds making a beer run.
Antonnio
Sat Jul 16, 2005 2:23 pm
#3
hahahaha, hilarious DJ!
I cannot believe you did that. Smuggler 4 Life brother!
I cannot believe you did that. Smuggler 4 Life brother!
Message Edited by Antonnio on 07-16-2005 05:25 PM
Antonnio
Sat Jul 16, 2005 2:32 pm
#4
LoL, are you sure you swam all the way back?
Oops, spelt your name wrong... Nevermind...
Oops, spelt your name wrong... Nevermind...
Message Edited by Antonnio on 07-16-2005 05:36 PM
djlowballer
Sat Jul 16, 2005 11:09 pm
#6
Antonnio wrote:
LoL, are you sure you swam all the way back?
Oops, spelt your name wrong... Nevermind...Message Edited by Antonnio on 07-16-2005 05:36 PM
Nah man i swam an hour toward shore. then i got picked up by my boat. I forgot to tell him I jumped, so nobody realized for a minute, so he had to turn around and find me.
Datink_Nieleft
Sat Jul 16, 2005 11:12 pm
#7
djlowballer wrote:
Antonnio wrote:
LoL, are you sure you swam all the way back?
Oops, spelt your name wrong... Nevermind...
Message Edited by Antonnio on 07-16-2005 05:36 PM
Nah man i swam an hour toward shore. then i got picked up by my boat. I forgot to tell him I jumped, so nobody realized for a minute, so he had to turn around and find me.
Oh you have no idea..that made my weekend right there
TacRunner
Sun Jul 17, 2005 2:21 am
#8
Man that is like the way we party on ship here in the navy but we jump off larger ships. Currently out in the pacific tooling around cutting holes in the water and visiting some kick a## ports. But man it made my shop and I laugh hard - you should see what we do to those coasties
HAHA it just ain't right
Laterz!
-Firestar-
Sun Jul 17, 2005 7:57 am
#9
Half the people in my shop haven't been to a boat yet...... How do they get away with that? Crossing the equator is always fun.
West pac...... ewwww. We never had any fun. Who the #($*'s dumb idea was it to visit DARWIN?
TacRunner
Sun Jul 17, 2005 3:41 pm
#10
Heya FireStar
Yea I know what you mean, Darwin does Suck but Sydney rocked! Now it'sbackAsia and beyond. I should be back sometime around Halloween.
This is my 6th WESTPAC... I love the crossing the line games, so much fun being that evil.
Laterz, PM me if you like 
BeigeKnight
Sun Jul 17, 2005 7:11 pm
#11
If you could draw that out into a trilogy, I'd bet you sell more books than Tim Zhan...
SmugglinZane
Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:50 am
#13
WAIT!!!
Jumping into the water to avoid combat?!?!?!
That sounds more like another profession!
Good story!
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